


Family Ties Are Precious Threads

by conformityissuicide



Series: McGarrett-Williams Family Saga [2]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Established Relationship, Family, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-11
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-23 15:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 126,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conformityissuicide/pseuds/conformityissuicide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny and Steve have grown into a family over the years, but what happens when someone shows up and threatens everything they love? Will they fight to keep their family together or accept defeat and watch it be torn apart?</p><p>Sequel to If You Ever Need Me, I'll Be There</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Right Here, Is Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the sequel to "If You Ever Need Me, I'll Be There." So, if you haven't read that story first, I highly suggest heading right on over there and reading it! Please let me know what you think of that story along with this one :)
> 
> Comments make me post faster :) This story is all planned out, but I'm open to suggestions if people have ideas or scenes they want to see throughout this story! I am going to try and update once a week or once every two weeks, but I'm a grad student who barely has time to feed herself so finding time to write can be difficult. Comments make new chapters appear faster, however! Enjoy the first chapter of Family Ties and let me know what you think!

The alarm clock went off at 4:30 am and Danny grumbled as he hit the machine senseless trying to shut it up. Steve smiled; even after ten years of waking up next to him Danny was still not a morning person.

“Your daughter is out of her freaking mind if she thinks voluntarily getting up at this hour is normal,” Danny grumbled to his partner beside him.

“Our daughter,” Steve sighed as he rolled out of the bed towards the dresser, “She is our daughter.”

“No, at 4:30 in the morning she is your daughter, Steven,” Danny started as he reluctantly followed Steve towards the dresser, “Only your offspring would be up at this godforsaken hour.”

“You know if you agreed to our getting Avery a car when she turns sixteen you won’t have to wake up at this godforsaken hour.”

“How many times do we have to have this discussion Steven? Avery doesn’t need a car; my blood pressure can’t handle her driving!”

“What are you talking about? Avery’s a good driver, at least that’s what you keep telling me after you guys go out and practice, which by the way, I would love to do with her.”

“I already told you that you aren’t allowed to teach her how to drive.”

“She’s my daughter too.”

“She shares your DNA and I do not want another McGarrett behind the wheel of a car unsupervised.”

“But she’s had ten years of Danno nurturing so I’m sure some of my bad genetic tendencies have been muted by your influence.”

“Don’t try to suck up.”

“Grace got a car last month on her birthday. So Grace can have a car but Avery can’t?”

“Step-Stan got Grace a car; I didn’t have any say in the matter.” Danny stomped off towards the bathroom, “And just for bringing it up, you can drive Avery to practice and wait till after you drop her off to go swimming.”

Steve rolled his eyes; this conversation was going nowhere fast and after ten years he knew not to attempt to have any sort of rational conversation with Danny before he’s had his coffee. But that didn’t mean he was above taking advantage of Danny’s vulnerable state.

“Okay, Danno, but she’s driving,” Steve replied as he heard the familiar moan of pleasure that escaped Danny’s mouth every morning when he first entered the warm shower. That moan meant Danny was a little blissed out and his mind would not be working properly.

“Okay,” was all Steve needed to hear before throwing a fist in the air and throwing on his swim trunks. Yeah, after ten years Steve knew the best time to slip in details Danny might not be too happy about. He made his way downstairs to start the coffee pot because he wasn’t completely heartless or stupid. He knew that Danny would register what he had said at some point soon, and it was best to be prepared with a little piece of bribery.

As the coffee pot began to gurgle and slurp its way into life, Steve popped a few pieces of bread into the toaster, cut some fresh pineapple into chunks, and scrambled up some eggs. After distributing the food between the plates of their respective owners, he grabbed his glass of orange juice and made his way over to the glass door leading to the lanai. He stood and watched the sun as it began to peek its pink rays out from behind the vast ocean, barely skimming the calm surface with the beginnings of morning. To him, this was paradise. If you had asked him ten years ago what he would have felt moving back to Hawaii, contentment, happiness, and a sense of belonging would not be on his list. But here he was, still living in the same house he grew up in, surrounded by people he loved, doing a job he’s good at, and finally having found the family he’d always wanted.

Steve’s life wasn’t looking half-bad at the moment. Not half-bad at all.

“Danno’s not going to be too happy when he sees that you cut up pineapple.”

Steve turned around to see Avery, wearing a pair of low-slung board shorts over her bright green one piece, grab a piece of pineapple off her plate and toss it in her mouth.

“Well, it’s your favorite and since you need to have your strength up to drive to practice I thought the best way to make sure of that was to tempt you with pineapple.”

“I get to drive to practice?”

Steve nodded as Avery’s face broke into a smile and she wiggled her hips around in her own form of a happy dance, “Finally, I get to drive in the morning! What made Danno finally give in? He’s been going on and on for weeks about it being too early in the morning, I would be too tired, blah blah blah.”

“Well, I can be very convincing.”

Avery’s hands flew up to cover her ears, “I don’t want to know, Dad. There are certain things my sensitive ears and impressionable mind cannot handle.”

“Your sensitive mind went there; I just meant that I knew the perfect moment to let him know that I was going to let you drive to practice with me this morning.”

“You told him just after he got in the shower.”

Steve grinned and patted himself on the back.

“Told me what after I got in the shower?”

Steve looked up to see Danny come down the last step, his hair still damp and wild around his face, not yet having been tamed by copious amounts of styling gel.

“That I get to drive to practice this morning,” Avery beamed at Danny, humor playing behind her green eyes because she knew that telling Danny something right after he got in the shower ensured that he wouldn’t actually register what you were saying. Her dad was in trouble and she needed the entertainment this early in the morning.

Danny’s eyes slowly moved from Avery towards Steve, who for his part was standing nonchalantly by the coffee machine, holding out a mug of the steaming liquid as a peace offering. “Want some coffee?”

Danny grabbed the mug from his hands, took two big gulps without registering the scalding liquid burning its path down his throat. Steve watched as the jolt of caffeine began to wake up Danny’s system and jumpstart his brain, “You are not letting Avery drive to practice, but nice try hitting me up in my one and only moment of weakness in my entire day.”

“You said okay and I think it’s only fair. We need to make sure she can drive safely in the mornings or else we are both going to have to continue to wake up this early to drive her there.”

“Well then we are going to continue to wake up this early and drive her there.”

“But that means that you still have to wake up at 4:30 every morning,” Steve returned, knowing that this would be his way of winning the disagreement.

“I don’t care.”

“Yes, you do.”

Danny’s eyes narrowed in Steve’s direction and he stepped a few feet closer to Steve, officially entering his personal space bubble. He placed the coffee mug on the counter behind Steve’s hip, looked upwards into his face, “Fine, she can drive, but if you two get into an accident don’t think for a moment that I’m going to be the one to show up and save your ass.”

“Asses, technically,” Avery said from her seat at the island.

“Language,” Steve said as he looked towards Avery over Danny’s head.

“Danno said it first.”

“Fine, I’m not going to be the one to show up and save your rear ends when this decision ends up in a heap of trouble.”

“I thought you really liked my rear end,” Steve whispered into Danny’s ear, seeing the involuntary shiver that rolled down his partner’s back.

Danny leaned up and placed a kiss on Steve’s lips, “Good morning, I think I forgot that earlier.”

“Mmm, you did,” Steve smiled as he pulled Danny back in again, “But that’s okay.”

“Ugh, get a room or give me the keys, either way, stop what you’re doing. Impressionable minds, remember.”

Both men turned towards their daughter, who was already way too grown up in their opinion, and laughed as Steve threw the keys to the Camaro, “Be out in a second.”

Avery mumbled something about parents being nauseating as she walked towards the front door. Steve ignored her and captured Danny’s lips again, pulling him closer.

“Good morning to you too,” Steve smiled against Danny’s lips.

“I can’t believe you are letting her take my new car,” Danny reached behind Steve to grab his coffee mug and take a sip of the desperately needed, caffeine-laden liquid.

“Danno, it’s not that new,” Steve rolled his eyes as he grabbed a t-shirt from the stack of laundry in the hallway.

“Two years old is new; it’s young, infantile. Do you remember when Avery was two? Did you say she was old?”

“She’s a human being and I would prefer if you didn’t compare her to your car.”

“Fine, take my car. If you total it than you’re buying me a new one.”

“We share our money, Danny,” Steve was going to win this argument; he was determined.

“Whatever, you big goof, just bring that precious girl back in one piece.”

Yup, Steve was certainly glad he made the decision to move back to Hawaii.

He finally had his family.

*H50*  
In Steve’s opinion, the best thing about getting up early was the amount of things you could get done before you had to be at work. You could get in your morning exercise routine, clean the house, do the laundry, or enjoy the privacy one had when your fifteen (almost sixteen as Avery liked to remind them constantly) year old daughter was out of the house for swim practice.

Danny, in general, did not agree with Steve’s opinion about the great aspects of waking up early. But, over the years Steve had enjoyed proving to Danny just how much they could enjoy during those early morning hours of uninterrupted privacy they had while Avery was swimming.

“You aren’t as sly as you seem to think you are, you know,” Danny said as he turned towards Steve, who was lying on his side rubbing circles up and down Danny’s stomach.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I know you shower me with your undivided sexual attention every morning I grumble about the time to prove to me just how great it is to wake up early.”

“I don’t do that.”

“Your shifty eyes are not agreeing with your statement.”

Steve laughed and rolled off the bed, “Okay, you may have caught me. How long have you known?”

Danny propped himself up by his elbows as he watched Steve head towards the bathroom to wash off the last vestiges of their morning love-making, “When did Avery start having morning swim practices?”

“When she was ten I think.”

“Okay, so almost six years now.”

“Six years! And you never said anything,” Steve walked back out into the bedroom, arms crossed in front of him.

“Well you were always so attentive in the mornings. I didn’t want to ruin that.”

Steve couldn’t help the grin that broke its way through his face. He moved towards Danny who was sprawled on the bed in all his glory, and placed his arms on either side of Danny’s body, his face inches from Danny’s, “So it was for purely selfish reasons.”

Danny swallowed, “Purely.”

Danny pushed himself forward, towards Steve’s mouth, but Steve pulled away just in time for Danny to miss and hit his shoulder instead, “No fair, Steve.”

“Well, I just found out you’ve been lying to me for six years just so you could get my undivided attention and not have to do any of the work yourself.”

“You seemed pretty satisfied this morning.”

“Not the point. Aren’t you the one that’s always going on and on about that equal partnership business,” Steve was behind the half-opened bathroom door now, turning the knobs on the shower to get the perfect temperature.

Danny’s head appeared through the crack in the door, “You know, you’re right. Would you like some company?”

“Do I get to be selfish? I mean, you’ve already had a shower this morning.”

Danny laughed and pushed Steve into the warm spray, “You get to be selfish for the next ten minutes, no longer.”

“Ten minutes. I can work with that.”

*H50*  
“Hey, Boss.” Kono stuck her head into Steve’s office where he was thankful for the distraction from his paperwork, “We got a case. We’re meeting in the conference room.”

“Thanks, Kono.”

He threw his pen onto the stack of papers on his desk and followed her out into the main area of the office. 5-0 hadn’t changed much over the years. With the installment of a new governor following the death of Jameson and the subsequent apprehension of Wo Fat, they were on a slightly tighter leash, something Danny was particularly happy about. ‘Now I don’t have to be the only one to burst your explosion-happy bubble,’ he had said after the new governor briefed them on the new rules and regulations he was placing on the task force. Steve tried very hard to smile and nod as the new governor talked, but he was not happy to have to rein it in; Steve didn’t talk to Danny for a week, not that that stopped Danny from talking to him, of course.

“We have a murder case,” Danny informed Steve as he began to scan the crime scene photos that were on the computer screen.

“Why is the victim wearing a Navy issued uniform?”

“Because the victim is in the Navy.” Danny was giving Steve his ‘why are you so dense look.’

“Don’t look at me as if that’s the obvious answer. Military crimes aren’t investigated by us, they are kept in house, and you know that. And, you know that I know that.”

“It seems your reputation precedes you, babe,” Danny said, “Rear Admiral Jensen requested your help specifically.”

Steve hadn’t heard that name in a long time. Rear Admiral Jensen was Steve’s old training officer in the SEALs. At the time Jensen had taken Steve under his wing and molded him into an outstanding officer and SEAL, but since he transferred to the reserves, they had lost touch.

“Alright then, tell me about the case.”

The team spent the next few hours running through case details, chasing leads, and talking to Navy personnel on base.

“How do you know Admiral Jensen,” Danny asked as the two partners stood side by side hunched over the computer table.

“He was my training officer in the SEALs.”

“That’s it, that’s all you’re going to tell me.”

Steve sighed, not wanting to get into any of this with Danny right now. “That’s it.”

“He doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would usually go outside the Navy for police help.”

“He’s not.” He knew he was being short but he really didn’t want to have to tell Danny the real reason he thinks that Admiral Jensen requested their assistance on the case. The reason was definitely not because the Admiral thought Steve was a better detective than any of the NCIS officers on base.

“So, any theories on why he asked us in then?”

“Drop it, Danny,” Steve said, his voice sharper than he planned. He turned toward Danny and was greeted with a look of determination; clearly he wasn’t going to budge. “Please.”

Apparently Steve was not above begging Danny to drop it. The slight quiver that found its way into Steve’s voice, a quiver he will swear was not there, relaxed Danny’s tense shoulders and placed a look of concern on his face.

“Consider it dropped, for now, because I have a feeling whatever it is that’s bothering you is going to be something I need to know.”

“When I have more solid evidence to back up my suspicions I promise you that you’ll be the first to know.” Steve was grateful for the instinctual, unspoken level at which they knew each other. He pulled Danny into his arms, a public display of affection that they tried to keep out of the office, but right now Steve needed the reassurance and Danny was happy to oblige apparently because he sighed into the embrace.

Chin cleared his throat behind the two men entangled in a private embrace, “I thought we had a seminar about public displays of affection in the office after the unfortunate incident with a busted office door lock two years ago?”

Steve and Danny blushed in sync. “Sorry guys, won’t happen again.”

“We’re just giving you a hard time, Boss,” Kono said as she grasped both men by the shoulders, “We came to see if you guys were ready to go.”

“Go where?” Danny questioned as he shifted a few feet away from Steve; he was the one who had put the kibosh on sex in the office, much to Steve’s chagrin, after Chin walked in on them in the midst of their passionate love-making on Steve’s desk after hours one evening.

“Um, Avery’s swim meet. Please don’t tell me you forgot. That’s bad, brahs, she’s your daughter and I’m the one that has to make sure you remember her schedule.”

“Of course we remember,” Steve quickly responded as he grabbed the keys to the Camaro from Danny’s pocket, despite his protests, “We were just testing you! First meet of the summer season!”

All three members of 5-0 followed behind their boss. Avery’s first meet of any season meant only one thing in these hallowed halls of crime-fighting: time-off.

*H50*  
The 5-0 team members entered the aquatic center just as the competitors were beginning their warm-up laps.

“Remember that I take thank-yous in the form of edible gifts and days off,” Kono grinned as she led the three men towards the best seats in the house.

“Okay, okay,” Danny relented with his hands in the air, “We owe you dinner, Kono. Thank you for making sure we didn’t miss Avery’s first swim meet of the season.”

“You’re welcome, and I love pasta and shellfish.”

“Avery is making me buy scallops at the fish market tomorrow morning so come over for dinner tomorrow night. I think she’s making some sort of vegetable, scallop, spaghetti dish,” Steve said as he waved towards Avery who had just appeared on the pool deck.

“I always forget that she’s actually a good cook,” Chin said as he waved to Avery as well, “She clearly didn’t get that from your gene pool.”

“Hey, I will have you know that I am a fine cook,” Steve joked, mocking outrage.

“You can cook steak babe and the list ends there,” Danny bumped his shoulder into Steve’s as Kono and Chin laughed along with him.

“Well, it’s good steak.”

Danny kissed Steve on the cheek, “You’re right, your steak is delicious.”

Avery grinned back and waved at her ohana. Kono gave her the thumbs up sign and mimed what Steve guessed was supposed to be an impression of her cheering loudly. Avery understood whatever it was supposed to be and laughed before she dove into the pool to begin warming-up. Steve may give Kono a hard time every now and then, but he was very thankful for her presence in Avery’s life. As satisfied as Steve was with his life and his family, Avery still didn’t have a female role model in her family. Kono had graciously accepted that role in Avery’s life and filled it beautifully, most of the time. Kono’s lessons on winning the attention of cute boys had not gone over well with Avery’s fathers; Kono was banned from the beach house for two weeks after that stunt.

The announcer came on the PA system and called the swimmers to order as he read off the list of the events for the afternoon. First up was the 200 yd. medley relay and Avery was on the top medley relay for her team because she was the strongest breaststroker, by far. And Steve was not being biased in that regard, Avery’s exceptional times spoke for themselves.

Danny squeezed Steve’s hand as the buzzer sounded and the first swimmers hit the water. There was a good chance that both Steve and Danny were more nervous before one of Avery’s races than she ever was. The two proud fathers cheered on their little girl as she brought her team into the lead during her leg of the race. Yes, she was awesome, if Steve said so himself. He would have cheered her on, supported her, and been just as proud of her if she wasn’t as gifted a swimmer, but he was secretly really happy she was so awesome. He loved to brag, just a little; it made up for the number of times him and Danny were given odd looks or snide remarks about them raising Avery together. After all these years it still baffled Steve how cold and heartless some people could be.

Avery’s team had won the first event and the four 5-0 members cheered the loudest. Avery went to sit with the rest of her team while she waited for her next event. Steve sat and watched the interim races with some interest, especially the races that held Avery’s close friends Evelyn, Jessica, and Ian. Steve was so busy watching Evie barely edge out her opponent in the 100 yard butterfly that he hadn’t noticed the man sit down next to him and outstretch his hand.

The man cleared his throat and Steve turned towards him, noticing the proffered hand and grasped it, “My name is Owen Michaels. I’m the Assistant Coach for the swim team at UCLA. It’s nice to meet you Mr. McGarrett.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Steve released the man’s hand, confused as to why a swim coach from California knew his name.

“I wanted to talk to you about Avery’s plans for college.”

Oh, now Steve understood why the man seemed to know his name. “What about her plans for college?”

“I wanted to know if she’s given any thought to where she wanted to attend college and if she planned on continuing to swim after high school.”

Steve gave the man a look, stumbling over the one coherent thought in his head. He was so busy worrying about Avery starting to drive and turning sixteen, which to him seemed like such a pivotal year in the life of a teenage girl, he hadn’t even thought to ask Avery what she wanted to do after high school. Some father you are, McGarrett, he chastised himself in his head.

“She wants to attend college after high school, of course,” Danny interjected and outstretched his hand towards Mr. Michaels, “I’m Danny Williams.”

The coach raised an eyebrow at Danny as he accepted the shake, “Nice to meet you Mr. Williams. If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know about her post-high school plans?”

Danny smiled and grasped Steve’s shoulder and leaned across his body towards the coach, “Because her father hasn’t been handling her impending driving capabilities very well and so it has fallen on my shoulders to make sure her future is still well taken care of.”

Coach Michaels was clearly confused by the whole situation. Steve felt bad for the poor man, really, because he knew that they didn’t fit the typical gay couple stereotype and people generally didn’t follow that line of thinking initially. It bugged him that people still held those stereotypes at all, but he had resigned to handling them as best he could because he was just one man and couldn’t change the entire world all on his own.

It was always awkward to explain their family to strangers, mainly because you never quite knew what their reaction would be, but Steve and Danny had figured out rather quickly into their relationship that it was easier to be upfront about who they were instead of hiding it, “Coach Michaels, Danny is my partner and Avery’s father.”

Realization quickly dawned on the coach as he squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. “I see. Well, I wanted to let you know that we would love to have Avery come and visit us up at UCLA during her senior year when she’s looking more seriously into her swimming and academic future.”

“Thanks for the information, Coach Michaels,” Danny said as he shook the man’s hand and nudged Steve to do the same before Owen got up and walked away.

Steve’s shoulders slumped; he felt like a terrible dad at this point. Danny rubbed his hand along Steve’s thigh, “Don’t worry, babe, that’s why we’re a team. We pick up the slack for each other. Avery and I have talked quite a bit about college already. She’s already way ahead of the game.”

“What does she want to do?”

“She’s not entirely sure, but she’s leaning towards a big university that has a swimming program, like UCLA, USC, or University of Texas. She knows for sure that she wants to swim, she’s a little unsure about what major she wants to choose or what school she wants to go to.”

Steve nodded his head. Danny’s hand remained reassuringly on his thigh as Kono signaled for them to pay more attention because Avery was up. Avery won both of the breaststroke events, won the 50 yard freestyle, and came in second in the 100 yard freestyle. It was clearly a bit of an understatement to say that Steve and Danny were beaming with pride.

Kono and Chin slapped Avery high-fives as she came over to them after the meet, “Thanks for coming you two. I love it when you guys are all here cheering me on.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, kiddo,” Kono winked.

“I just have to change, so I’ll meet you guys in the lobby,” she directed towards her parents, a little suspicious of the large grins they were sporting.

“Okay munchkin,” Danny managed. Avery rolled her eyes at the childhood nickname. Danny laughed, “A father’s prerogative.”

Kono and Chin said goodbye a few minutes later and left Steve and Danny waiting on their own. Steve knew they were both thinking about the UCLA coach, so he decided to be the man of the day and broach the subject, “So, should we tell her about UCLA?”

Danny looked back at him, his eyes crinkling around the corners in concern, “I don’t know. UCLA is one of the schools she really likes, but she’s only just finishing her sophomore year of high school. I know that junior year is like the big year for touring colleges, keeping your grades up, and making sure you stand out in your chosen sport if you are aiming for an athletic scholarship, but I don’t want to put too much pressure on her. She’s still two years away from that decision.”

“Maybe we should ask her coach,” Steve suggested, “He’ll know what to do about college recruiting and stuff; they’ve had other swimmers on this team go on to swim in college.”

“Good idea.”

Steve captured Danny’s lips in a quick kiss before Avery bounded towards them, swinging her swim bag behind her, “Let’s get a move on, I’ve got homework.”

“Lead the way, superstar,” Steve bowed Avery past him towards the door.

“Can the superstar drive home?”

Steve looked over at Danny for verification. Danny nodded his head and Avery jumped and held out her hand for the keys, “Thanks, Danno.” She kissed him on the cheek when he placed the keys in her hand.

“Don’t forget we have to swing by Rachel’s first; Grace is spending the weekend with us.”

Steve didn’t miss the slight eye-roll Avery sported as she turned away from them and walked towards the car. He looked over at his partner, who hadn’t seemed to notice, so Steve just shrugged it off as a coincidence.


	2. Fight For Your Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here is the next chapter of Family Ties, just in time for the premiere tonight! Can't wait :) I wanted to thank everyone for the amazing reviews and response I got to the first chapter of this story! I'm so glad everyone is enjoying the continuation of this little world I've created and I hope I continue to entertain you :) Please read and review and let me know what you think of this chapter!
> 
> I'm going to be writing companion "scenes" to this story that fill in the 10 year gap between this story and If You Ever Need Me. I will be doing this throughout this story because I had quite a few readers interested in knowing some of the things that happened during the 10 year gap. I will be posting them all under the Williams-McGarrett Family Saga series, and this week we will be seeing Danny moving in to Steve's house. So, please review those stories as they are posted! Also, I would love suggestions from all you readers about different "scenes" from the last 10 years that you would like to see!
> 
> Also, this chapter changes POV from Steve's to Danny's. There will be POV changes throughout this story; I hope I make them clear. However, I will indicate whose POV the chapter is in at the beginning, to make it easier on everyone.
> 
> I want to thank my beta jerseybelle for getting this chapter read in record time so that I could post it before the new season starts tonight! Enjoy :)
> 
> Disclaimer (all previous and future chapters): I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or anyone related to it. If I did Steve and Danny would have gotten together a long time ago.
> 
> *This Chapter is in Danny's POV*

“Don’t forget, tomorrow we are spending the day together, as a family,” Danny said as Grace came down the stairs from her bedroom.

“I’m sorry, what?” Grace’s voice raised a few octaves towards the end so it came out as more of a screech than a question.

Danny sighed; Grace was beginning to grate on his nerves more and more as time went on. Her nonchalant, whatever attitude to anything family-oriented was not the Monkey that he was used to. Every weekend she spent with them he watched her; he paid attention to her cues, words, and behavior trying to work out what was bringing her usually buoyant spirit down.

He blamed Rachel.

Rachel blamed him.

Steve told him it was just Grace being a teenager and it was just a phase.

Steve also told him he needed to relax and not worry so much.

Danny couldn’t help but snort at that suggestion. He couldn’t exactly relax in this particular family unit, lest Steve decide the perfect idea for family bonding is deep sea demolition classes and lessons at the shooting range.

“You heard me. We are spending tomorrow together, as a family.”

“I already made plans with Ashley to go to the mall and the beach with a bunch of our friends.” Grace had her hands on her hips and stood almost eye-level with Danny. He had been secretly hoping she wouldn’t get her height genes from her mother. But the fates had cursed him and instead, Grace not only inherited her height from her mother, but had seemed to perfect Rachel’s infamous ‘I dare you to tell me I can’t do something’ stare. It had driven him nuts when they were married, it drove him nuts now that they were divorced, and it drove him even more nuts when he sees it grace the face of his daughter.

“Well, you’re just going to have to tell Ashley that you have other plans.”

Grace rolled her eyes and began to open her mouth in retort just as another source of constant annoyance in Danny’s life decided to insert himself into the conversation. “I don’t see why she can’t invite a friend, Danno.”

Danny groaned. Steve was wonderful, supportive, and a whole host of other quality partner descriptors that you wouldn’t have necessarily attributed to the SEAL upon first meeting, but, in Danny’s opinion, his co-parenting skills could use some work.

“Thanks, Steve, you’re the best,” Grace said as she flashed him her patented ‘I’m so innocent, look at my shiny halo’ smile and wrapped her arms around Steve’s middle. She released him from her grasp, turned abruptly on her heel, not even bothering a glance in her father’s direction, and walked back upstairs. They heard the door to her bedroom closing a few seconds later.

Steve was grinning like a buffoon. Clearly, Steve’s ridiculously strict and regimented diet of rabbit food was causing his body to slowly eat away at his brain cells from lack of proper nutrition. Danny had been lamenting for years about the detrimental effects of eating like a rabbit. He paused for a moment to relish in the glory of his superior intelligence. Okay, moment over, time to teach Steve parenting lesson #237.

“Steven, what do you think you are doing?”

Damn, aneurysm face.

“Have you ever heard of the term co-parenting?”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed together, the creases of his forehead becoming more prominent as he frowned in Danny’s direction.

“Co-parenting, Steven. As in we parent as a team, together, in collaboration.”

“I know what co-parenting and team means, Danny. You don’t need to act like a human thesaurus to get your point across. I just don’t see what’s so wrong about letting Grace bring a friend. I’m sure Avery would enjoy bringing a friend as well. And if we make them happy we get to be the cool dads.”

Danny’s brain short-circuited as he watched Steve become lost in a long-forgotten world where hanging out with dad was still cool and Grace and Avery begged to spend time with them. The wrinkles on Steve’s face, that had become more pronounced as the years had gone by, lessened and Steve’s eyes glassed over. Danny’s own thoughts went back to images of Avery and Grace when they were little and couldn’t get enough of Steve’s child-like antics as they played in the fort Steve built to look like an exact replica of a Navy ship. Danny allowed Steve a few moments of uninterrupted daydreaming; Danny used those moments to remember some of the first nights they spent in the beach house as a family. He remembered seeing Steve in their bed, glasses on, one girl curled up on each side of him, reading Cinderella, complete with different voices for each character. Danny felt the daydreaming had gone on long enough, because frankly, that’s all it will ever be because no matter how hard they try to be “cool” they will always be dads, and teenage girls have only so much tolerance for their parents. Even parents as cool as them, of course. Steve wasn’t completely off base in his assessment of their “coolness”.

“The point of co-parenting is discussing these things, together. The point of co-parenting, or parenting for that matter, is not to put all your effort into being the cool dad. You are supposed to be a role model and guide your children. We need to present a strong, united front on these issues. Not me saying no friends and then you saying it’s okay. You always make me play the bad cop.”

“Danny, now you are just being melodramatic.”

“I am not being melodramatic; I’m honestly describing the parental situation in this household.”

Steve cocked an eyebrow in his direction. Danny knows he can be loquacious. Danny’s aware that he’s not known as a man of few words, so he hated it when Steve had the ability to capture entire sentences in just one look.

“Okay, fine, maybe I exaggerated a teeny, tiny little bit. But, my point still stands in this instance. You are supposed to check with me before saying okay to plan-altering details.”

“How is Grace bringing a friend plan-altering?”

“Letting her invite a friend alters the plan we made of having a family day.”

“Technically, since you will be there and I will be there and Avery will be there, it is still a family day, just with an extra person tagging along.”

Damn Steve for using logic in the face of Danny’s increasing paranoia about Grace’s stance on her family. At this point he was grasping at straws trying to get Steve to concede without prying further. Steve might not possess the normal spectrum of human emotion, but one thing he did possess in spades was persistence. Danny’s hope for blind acceptance and faith in his parenting abilities was not going to happen today. No, Steve wasn’t going to give in because he knew there was something more to Danny’s insistence on a family weekend.

Fuck.

Steve’s persistent and protective nature was apparently out in full force tonight. Danny was officially in a losing battle, and Williamses hated to lose, period, especially to hard-headed, stubborn, Navy SEAL McGarretts.

“I just really want it to be the four of us; can we just leave it at that?” It was Danny’s last attempt at savoring his hidden paranoia.

“No, we cannot.”

Danny opened his mouth to speak, to tell Steve everything. He really wanted to open up to Steve about his concerns, but something was holding him back. Danny, being the overly-sensitive, wearing his emotions on his sleeve kind of guy, was not used to holding back. He was especially not used to being scared of admitting his feelings to Steve. Minus, of course, the fear that had gripped him for months before Steve had made the moves on him that night on the beach, oh so many moons ago.

Wow, that night was so long ago, a thought which made Danny feel old. He shuddered internally at the reminder of how long it had been and how old his daughters were; he was never going to see their innocent, child-like faces smiling back at him again; that time in his life was over.

And in this moment, more so than when Avery and Grace first started high school; more so than when both girls took the test for their driver’s permit; and more so than the first time they both came home way past curfew, stumbling up the stairs, and making too much noise to have not been under the influence of something, the full weight of what it meant to parent teenagers fell upon him, suffocating him with its weight, pushing him down and forcing him into a hunched over crouch, grasping at his chest in attempts to convince his lungs to constrict, release, and breathe.

Steve rushed to his side, rubbing his hands across his back, whispering into the small space between them. “Shh, Danno, it’s going to be okay.”

Danny took a few moments and collected what was left of his dignity, not that he had much of it in front of Steve. Steve had, of course, witnessed his fair share of Danny-style meltdowns where the girls were concerned. And every time they happened Danny would blush, shuffle his feet in attempts to move out of the room quickly, only to be stopped by the strong hands of his partner wrapping around his frame and holding him tightly, no words spoken, but the message heard loud and clear, ‘This is why I love you. I love you for your crazy antics and I love you for your anxiety-driven complex to make sure our girls are okay.’

Not that Steve had any right to judge. Steve took the term ‘over-protective father’ to the extreme. Steve signed Grace and Avery up for self-defense classes when they turned 13, just in case. He had a GPS locater installed in Grace’s new car. He bought two small, key-chain sized cans of pepper spray when the girls started high school. Danny had even walked in on him trying to show Avery the proper technique of wielding a knife before Danny put his foot down on the self-defense lessons; Avery was not, under any circumstances, ever carrying around a knife for protection. He did not care what Steve’s opinion on proper knife safety was, no daughter of his was coming within 100 feet of a knife that wasn’t being used for chopping vegetables. End of story.

“Please talk to me, Danny,” Steve whispered as he guided Danny towards the back door and out onto the lanai. He gently pushed Danny into one of the deck chairs and closed the door behind him, in the pretense of shutting out listening ears.

Danny took a few deep breaths, willing his mind to stop panicking and reminded himself that this was Steve, and no one in his life judged him less than Steve did. He did not have to be afraid to admit his feelings to Steve. “I’m concerned that Grace doesn’t enjoy spending time with us anymore; I’m afraid that Rachel and Stan have corrupted her into enjoying all the expensive things in life and I can’t give her what she wants and that she’s embarrassed of me or our family or something.”

Steve didn’t say anything, for which Danny was extremely grateful. Steve moved his chair so that he was closer to Danny and placed a consoling hand on his shoulder. Danny looked into the depths of Steve’s eyes, pools of ocean blue today, and felt the weight that he had been carrying begin to lift. It felt as if Steve himself was pulling off the weight of the world and agreeing to carry half of it himself.

And that, right there, was why this relationship had worked for so much longer than his marriage to Rachel had, and in fact, worked longer than any previous relationship he ever had. And that was also why Danny had never been happier in his life. He had finally learned the true meaning of love and family, how important it was to have people with whom to share your life. Through Steve, shockingly, he had learned the true meaning of partnership. No matter how many years on the force he had under his belt, a crazy SEAL from Hawaii who didn’t know the first thing about police procedure or working with a partner taught him exactly what it meant to sacrifice for the one you love, to support each other unconditionally, and to give each other what they needed in that moment, regardless of what you needed yourself.

Because Danny knew that Steve’s need to be a “cool dad” was his own insecurity over Avery getting older, growing into a woman, and not having a mom around. Danny knew that Steve worried about whether or not Avery was going to resent him for falling in love with Danny, for never telling her about Gwen, or giving her the opportunity to know her mother.

Danny knew Steve needed reassurance as much as he did.

But as they were sitting on their lanai, watching the stars peek out from behind the clouds, Steve put his own insecurities aside to make room for Danny’s.

They would get to Steve’s problems but Danny needed him more right now, and Danny was thankful that Steve realized that without having to be told.

“I want Grace to love this family as much as she loves her family with Rachel and Stan.”

“She does. This family gave her Avery, her best friend. This family is full of love and support and a relationship characterized by care and devotion. That’s not something she gets with Rachel and Stan, you know this. They can barely spend a week together without fighting or Stan jetting off to some business meeting on the mainland. Sure, they may have a lot of money, but they don’t have half of what we have here. Grace loves this family just as much as she loves her family with Rachel and Stan. She loves you; she always will. She will always be your Monkey and you will always be her Danno. But, if it will help, we can spend tomorrow just the four of us, reminding each other just how much love we have.”

Danny nodded his head, unable to speak because he felt stupid, really stupid. First off, Steve was being rational, a statement he never thought he’d ever actually say in this lifetime. Secondly, Steve was right. Grace still treated him just the same as she did before, except for the occasional ‘Stop embarrassing me, Dad’ moments. Danny shook his head at the insanity of his paranoia. He looked over at Steve who was smiling at him.

Wordlessly, Steve stood up and extended his hand towards Danny, helping to pull him up from the chair, “C’mon, babe, let’s go to bed.”

And Danny knew that no matter how angry Grace was in the morning when she found out that Ashley would not be invited, Danny had Steve and Steve loved him and supported him, and that was all that mattered.

*H50*  
“There was no reason for me not to invite Ashley,” Grace started as she pushed her plate of spaghetti away from her, “All we did today was go surfing, get shave ice, and eat dinner. It would have been a lot cooler if my friends were here.”

The fork Danny was holding stopped halfway between his plate and his mouth as he looked at Grace and began to scowl. “If having a day with your family is too “uncool” for you, you can spend the remainder of your weekend with us in your room, alone.”

Danny felt Steve’s comforting hand reach out for his thigh under the table. They weren’t big on public displays of affection; Danny never felt comfortable putting their relationship out there like that. Plus, it had become a habit at the beginning when Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was still alive and well in the military. Danny would never forgive himself for having a lapse in judgment and kissing Steve or holding his hand in public and them being caught by another soldier or sailor. Danny would never be able to look Steve in the eye again if he was the reason that Steve had to end his military career. Being a SEAL, being in the Navy was everything to Steve. Danny would never change that, well, usually never.

As the culture in the military had begun to change and DADT was repealed, Steve had opened up more in public. He didn’t shy away from Danny’s side and he grasped at Danny’s frame a lot more often after a shoot-out. But that still didn’t mean Danny was ready to make-out with his partner in downtown Waikiki. Steve had been okay with that and he never pushed Danny farther than he wanted. He did, however, understand Danny’s need for a physical reminder of his presence every now and then, like at this moment, sitting in a restaurant where he’s ready to yell and scream and say a whole lot of things to Grace that he wouldn’t want the other patrons to hear.

Danny let out a relaxing breath and looked at the other occupant of the table whose eyes were downcast, shifting between her plate and glancing surreptitiously towards Grace, “Do you have something you want to add, Avery?”

Avery’s eyes snapped to attention as a blush began to form up the back of her neck. Danny was thanking the genetic gods for making sure she had Steve’s blush reaction; it made telling when she was lying or trying to hide something a whole lot easier.

“Nope, no, nothing to add at all,” she said, staring at Danny.

Danny didn’t tear his eyes away from hers, knowing she would eventually break under the eye contact.

Time wore on – one minute, two minutes – and she said nothing. Damn, Steve must have been teaching her techniques of how to withstand torture. He would need to speak with him about that.

After four minutes he saw Avery’s shoulder slump as she pulled her eyes away from his and towards her plate. Pushing the food around with her fork she revealed, “I think it would have been nice to have some friends with us today. I mean, it’s great spending time with you two and all, but it’s a little dorky too.”

The tomato red of her face caused Danny to have to bite back his laughter. He could feel Steve vibrating through the hand still firmly in place on his thigh.

“Look, girls, I know that it’s not the coolest thing in the world to hang out with your parents, but you have no idea how much we love it,” Steve said as he glanced between the two girls seated across from them, “So, every now and then would it be too hard to give your dads a break and let them spend some time with you? You know, so that we remember what you look like, sound like, and all that since we barely see you between your sports, friends, and school. Just every now and then, remind us you exist in our lives.”

Both girls began to smile, nodding their heads to what Steve had been saying.

Avery began, “Sure, Dad, we would be happy to …”

What they would be happy to do was lost as Avery glanced towards Grace, blushed deeper, and firmly shut her mouth and continued to push her food around her plate. Danny was perplexed, to say the least. He had never seen Avery embarrassed around them. Sure, she’s blushed because she’s lied, she’s tried to hide her indiscretions, but she’s always been a very confident person. Danny loved that about her, loved that she got that quality from her father. Avery never apologized for who she was or shied away from it. She embraced it and put it out there for all to see. But more and more, Danny realized as he took stock of the last few weeks, she remained quiet when Grace was around, carefully tiptoeing around what she said.

Danny’s eyes met Steve’s for a brief moment. Steve was realizing the same thing he had. In their silent exchange they decided now was not the time to broach this topic, so instead they continued on with their meal. That didn’t mean, however, that Danny didn’t stop trying to deduce what was going on. He was a detective after all.

“Mom’s taking me shopping next weekend to get my dress for the semi-formal,” Grace said, wearing a smug grin on her face. “I’m so excited; Mom has the best taste in clothes. It’s great, you know, having a mom to go shopping with.”

Danny nodded his head, “That does sound like fun monkey, if for no other reason than I don’t have to do the shopping myself.”

Grace laughed. Steve kicked his leg under the table.

“What the hell was that for,” Danny screeched under his breath, staring daggers at Steve. Steve nodded his head in Avery’s direction, causing Danny to look over at the other teenage girl who had tickets to a semi-formal dance. Avery was staring intently at the table, her eyes not leaving the water glass sitting in front of her. She looked as if she was memorizing each path of condensation the droplets of water made as they ran down the glass. People who didn’t know Avery might just think she wasn’t interested in talking about shopping. But Danny knew Avery. He knew Avery about as well as she knew herself, and he knew that she was holding back some sort of sarcastic comment and quite possibly a waterfall of tears.

Danny wasn’t quite sure what to say, but he was saved by Steve who jumped in at the perfect moment, “Grace, do you think your mom would mind if Avery went shopping with you? I’m sure she’d be a lot better at helping her out than Danno or I.”

“Oh, well, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind but it was kinda supposed to me a mother-daughter bonding thing.”

“It’s fine, really,” Avery said quietly, eyes still not pulling away from their inspection of the water glass, “I don’t even think I’m going to go to the dance anyway.”

“What, Aves, the dance is all you’ve been talking about for weeks,” Steve continued. As Steve tried to convince Avery to attend the dance, Danny watched her body language. As a detective, and a damn good one at that, he knew that the biggest clues to a person’s thoughts were through their unspoken body language, and Avery’s body language was speaking loud and clear. She was uncomfortable to say the least. She seemed a little embarrassed, and there was even a hint of sadness he had never known her to express all that often. Something was most definitely wrong, but he also knew, as a good detective and all, that some mysteries couldn’t be solved in a night or during one conversation. Whatever was going on would have to be solved at a later time. He snapped mental pictures of all his observations, storing them in a box in his mind for later use.

*H50*  
“Bye, Dad,” Grace yelled over her shoulder as she bounded past Rachel without a glance in her direction, “I’ll see you and Steve in two weeks! I love you.”

“Bye, Monkey,” Danny waved as he watched Grace disappear up the stairs. He turned to leave but Rachel grabbed his arm to get his attention.

“Daniel, I wanted to talk to you about the dance.”

“What about it?”

“I think that maybe just you should come to see Grace off.”

“Rachel, don’t you think you are being a little ridiculous,” Danny was tired of having the same fight over and over with her. Since he and Steve had gotten together Rachel had been shutting down Steve’s presence in Grace’s life at every turn, “He just wants to come with me to see her off to the dance, what is so wrong with that?”

“What’s wrong is that this is Grace’s first big dance and I want her family there.”

“Steve is her family and Grace wants him there.”

“No, Steve is your partner.”

“Husband, Steve is my husband, which makes him family, and if you pull out any sort of homophobic card, yet again, I will not be responsible for my actions because Steve is as much a part of Grace’s family as Stan is. Are you letting Stan be there to say goodbye to Grace as she leaves?”

“Of course,” Rachel’s arms were crossed in front of her body and her eyes were narrowing in his direction, “Stan is Grace’s step-father.”

“So is Steve, Rachel,” Danny couldn’t help getting increasingly louder as they stood on her front porch, in her posh neighborhood, fighting over the same argument they’ve been having for years.

“No, he’s not.”

“What happened to you, Rachel? When did you get so cold and jaded? Steve and I have been together almost as long as you’ve been with Stan and he’s not going anywhere. I know that the close-minded individuals in office in this country make it impossible for Steve and I to pronounce our love and commitment to each other in the same way you were able to with Stan, but that doesn’t change how committed we are to each other or our daughters.”

“Having Steve there will remind Grace how much more you did for Avery than Steve’s done for her.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means.”

“No, Rachel, I have no idea what that means, and you better seriously tread lightly on what you say about Steve.”

“You adopted Avery.”

“And?”

“There needs to be more than that?”

“Steve would have adopted Grace in a heartbeat, Rachel, but there was one big obstacle in the way of that – you. Grace has had both her parents her entire life, and you can’t have three legal guardians. Avery didn’t have that. Do you not understand how much that girl has gone through? She’s never had a Mom in her life, Rachel. She had her grandfather and Steve and Steve spent so much of the first few years of her life in foreign countries fighting to keep us safe. I love Steve and I love Avery and I chose to become Avery’s legal guardian because no child deserves to have only one parent love them. But, that doesn’t mean I love Grace any less and it certainly doesn’t mean that Steve doesn’t love Grace just as much as he does Avery. He would die protecting Grace and I would do the same for Avery, that’s how it has always been.”

“Grace doesn’t know all those things, Danny. She thinks that you love Avery more than her.” Rachel caught a movement behind her and turned to see Grace standing in the foyer, eyes wide at her parents’ exchange.

Danny’s heart broke as Rachel’s words washed over him like a tidal wave. “Monkey, is this true? Do you think I love Avery more?”

Grace shook her head, but, Danny noticed, it was a curt shake without any eye contact. “No, Dad, I understand that your relationship with her is different but that you love us just the same.”

“Of course our relationship will be different,” Danny said as he moved past Rachel into the house and pulled Grace into his arms. “You and she are two very different people and even if you were both my biological daughters our relationships would still be different. I love you just as much as I did the day you were born and I held you in my arms for the first time. Nothing or no one will ever change that, Monkey.”

Grace sniffed a little against his chest, but didn’t say anything, just stood in her father’s embrace where the world didn’t seem to matter because in his arms she was safe.

Danny held on to her like she was about to be pulled away.

“Danno,” Grace started as she leaned away from his chest and looked at him, “You love Steve, don’t you?”

“Very much.”

Grace nodded, buried her head back against his chest, and mumbled, “That’s nice.”

Danny wasn’t quite sure what prompted her question, nor did he understand her response. He filed this piece of information away in his locked box for a later time.

‘Parenting teenage girls sure is confusing,’ Danny thought as he kissed the top of Grace’s head and pulled away from the embrace.

“Danno loves you,” he said as he waved goodbye and moved towards the car. As he strapped into the Camaro and pulled out of the driveway he thought, ‘Good thing I’m a detective and I like puzzles.’

*H50*  
Danny really shouldn’t have been surprised that the familiar smell of tomatoes, cheese, and ground beef wafted towards him, attacking his taste buds, as he entered the house, but he was. No matter how many years had passed, Steve still made him homemade lasagna whenever he had to drop Grace off at Rachel’s after their weekend together. And no matter how many years had passed, Danny still smiled, thankful that Steve didn’t expect dropping Grace off to get any easier. Danny himself thought that over the years it would get easier, but it hadn’t. In fact, if Danny is honest, it had gotten harder because his time with Grace had dwindled to even smaller amounts than before. It seemed that hanging out with Dad had not been on Grace’s list of priorities lately.

Usually lasagna made Danny smile enough that the rest of the evening wasn’t spent in a complete depression. But today was different. Today he couldn’t help but look back over the weekend and pick out the numerous occasions that Grace acted less than kind towards Avery or made an off-hand comment that seemed a little pointed. And for the life of him, Danny couldn’t figure out why the two girls who grew up as best friends were barely speaking. Danny knew that they only talked every now and then in an attempt to mask their true animosity towards each other from him and Steve, but it was not working, at least not with him, and it appeared it hadn’t worked with Steve either.

“Is everything okay?” Steve asked as he extended a Longboard in Danny’s direction. Danny accepted the proffered beer, and laughed to himself. Danny’s solution to a crappy day was food, hence the lasagna, Steve’s solution to a crappy day was beer, he was a Navy man after all.

Danny shrugged his shoulders as he took a long pull of his drink. “Rachel was an ass today when I dropped Grace off, but what else is new. Where’s Avery?”

“Kono’s,” Steve said as worry clouded his face and moved towards Danny, looming over his shorter frame.

“You really need to work on the looming thing, babe.”

“Really,” Steve quipped as his mouth twitched into a half-smirk and then captured Danny’s lips in a kiss so quick Danny didn’t completely register that it happened until Steve’s lips had already left his. But that small touch was the needed switch to flip Danny into life. He lunged forward capturing Steve in a hungry kiss, his tongue begging for entrance into Steve’s mouth, hands grasping at every exposed part of Steve’s skin, desperate for a physical reminder of Steve’s presence.

Steve responded eagerly, opening his mouth to allow Danny access, his own tongue fighting for dominance. The kiss wasn’t romantic or swoon-worthy; it was frantic and dirty. Steve pushed him against the wall, arms pinning him to the wooden door frame, unable to move. Danny wasn’t giving in to the possessive way in which Steve devoured him; he pushed back. He fought Steve for control, he pushed against the tall, lanky form pressed against him, and he battled for the higher ground.

There were times when Steve would have relented. He would have loosened his grip, allowing Danny to control the situation while he played the role of submissive partner. Sometimes that was what Danny needed and Steve always gave Danny what he needed.

But tonight, after having left without saying exactly what he felt towards Rachel, he needed the push and pull of the fight, the battle for power. Steve recognized this need and matched him full force, never giving an inch, meeting Danny blow for blow. And they stood in the kitchen for what seemed like hours leaving deep purple bruises along each other’s necks, hands pulling at fabric, gripping at the hidden skin below.

Because this push, this pull reminded Danny that Steve would always fight for him. No matter what Rachel said or implied, no matter if Grace was angry with Avery or Avery was angry with Grace, Steve would fight for Danny. And Danny would fight for Steve. They may say ‘I love you’ to each other in the quiet darkness of their bedroom, but out here, in their raw, emotional state, words were not needed and not welcome.

Right now they needed each other, exposed and primal, to remind themselves that their love was always worth the fight.


	3. It's the What Ifs That Will Kill You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter of Family Ties! I hope you all like this chapter just as much :)
> 
> Like always, I want to thank my wonderful beta jerseybelle for looking this over in quick fashion and giving me her opinion on a few roadblocks I met while writing this chapter. She rocks!

Danny was unceremoniously pulled from the best sleep he’d had in a week by the familiar shrill of Steve’s cell phone. He felt Steve shift beside him, twisting in the direction of the bedside table, so Danny felt confident that he could go back to sleep because the offending object was being taken care of.

And he was just about to be successful at returning to his dream world when he felt Steve’s large form remove itself from the bed, the resulting spring back of the mattress jerking Danny into wakefulness. Groaning, he glanced at the clock on his bedside table – 4:00 am. Damn, he was still supposed to have a solid thirty more minutes of sleep before he had to get up. But the fates enjoyed cursing Danny. He never slept right when Steve wasn’t beside him and today was no different, especially because it was really unlike Steve to take a phone call outside their bedroom this early in the morning. It was usually the governor, and it was a lot easier to inform Danny of the unfortunate early-morning wake-up call by snuggling up next to him and placing kisses along his neck and shoulder, placating him into submission and turning him into a blob of love-sick jelly for Steve to push right out of bed and towards the shower.

Danny pushed himself up so that he was leaning against the headboard, scrubbing his tired eyes with his hands. There was no chance of him going back to sleep now, for no other reason than his own curiosity about the mysterious phone call Steve took out in the hall. After a few more tired scrubs to his eyes, Danny took stock of all the possible reasons Steve could be getting a phone call this early in the morning.

Avery’s swim practice was cancelled. That was a definite possibility, but not likely to cause Steve to remove himself from their room, so Danny crossed that option off the list.

There was a new case the Governor required their assistance on. This was most definitely probable, but again, unlikely to cause Steve to leave the warm confines of their bed.

Something happened with Kono or Chin. Highly unlikely, more so because they would know not to call this early unless it was a real emergency, and Danny also knew that if one of their closest friends was in an emergency situation that warranted such an early phone call, Steve wouldn’t have kept it private.

The Navy, hmm, the Navy would definitely not respect Danny’s beauty rest enough to hold their phone call for a more appropriate time, but Steve had already fulfilled his monthly Reserve training requirements a few weeks ago, so it couldn’t be them. In fact, Steve had been called back to base a number of times more than usual lately, ever since Rear Admiral Jensen had requested 5-0’s assistance on that case awhile back, so maybe they required his assistance yet again. Danny shrugged to himself; he had given up trying to understand the Navy a long time ago.

Danny heard the hallway floor creak under Steve’s weight as he quietly made his way back to the bedroom. He didn’t want to know what ridiculous, cock-eyed plan the Navy had cooked up that required Steve’s aid: refresher courses on interrogation techniques appropriate only for the world’s most noted terrorists, how to hold one’s breath underwater for 5 minutes without growing a set of gills, how to hide as many deadly weapons as possible on your person without anyone actually being able to tell you have multiple deadly weapons on your person, the list could go on.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Steve whispered as he slid himself back into bed and scooted closer to Danny’s side, pulling Danny down with him, “Go back to sleep, we still have half an hour.”

Danny resisted Steve’s attempts to get him to sleep again and avoid the questions Steve knew were about to come out of his mouth; Danny was nothing if not predictable.

“Who called?”

Steve snuggled closer, burying his nose in the very sensitive spot in the crook of Danny’s neck, sucking on the skin where his collarbone met his neck. Danny hummed in pleasure, cursing Steve in his mind because he knew the SEAL was doing this on purpose. No, he cannot do this Danny thought as he reluctantly pulled away from Steve’s wonderfully warm lips, “That’s not going to work. You get a phone call at four o’clock in the morning, you have to tell me who called.”

Steve looked up at Danny, and upon seeing the steely determination in his husband’s eyes, decided that anger and defensive posturing was the best tactic of deflection, “It was nothing important, Danno, just go back to sleep. I’m not going to drag your ass out of bed nicely in 30 minutes if you don’t actually attempt to take advantage of the next half hour.”

Steve rolled over so his back was to Danny, eyes firmly shut in the appearance of sleep. Danny knew Steve was faking it purely to dodge the interrogation he was sure to get the minute Danny found the right opportunity. Danny huffed and flung the covers off and padded towards the bathroom door. “Fine, act like a five year old, see if I care.”

He ran the shower to a temperature bordering on scalding; he needed the feel of his skin being melted off as he tried to calm his breathing down. Steve didn’t hide things from Danny, period. In the eleven years they’d known each other Steve tried to remain as open with Danny as he possibly could, even treading slightly over the ‘it’s classified’ line a few times throughout the years. Danny couldn’t begin to fathom who was on the phone to cause Steve to hole up within himself, dodge Danny’s questions, and otherwise keep him in the dark. And Danny knew from years of being the supportive military husband that he was, that it was the ‘what ifs’ that would eat you alive from the inside out.

The shower succeeded at doing nothing other than burning Danny’s skin raw and working him up into an even bigger fit of anger. He slammed the knobs on the shower off as he wrapped a towel around his waist and walked through the door into their bedroom. Danny wasn’t surprised when he saw the bed empty and Steve’s running shoes missing from the closet. Generally, Danny was the level-headed one in their relationship; if they fought it was him who tended to push down his pride and approach Steve to talk it out. He was also very understanding of Steve’s incessant need to work out his problems through exercise. He may not have understood it, but Danny understood the wonders it did on Steve’s psyche. But today, Danny was beyond pissed, and he had every right to be. Today Steve was going to have to come to Danny to kiss and make up; he’d be damned if puppy dog SEAL eyes were going to work this time. Knowing that it was potentially childish, but deciding to hell with acting like the mature adult all the time, Danny threw on his work clothes, scribbled a quick note to Avery to let her know that Steve was driving her to practice, grabbed the keys to the Camaro, and walked out the door.

Maybe leaving Steve to come home to an empty house was immature and a little petty. Who cares, Steve had left Danny to deal with an empty bed and house all too many times to count when he left for his morning swims or runs. Steve could handle it this one time.

Sue Danny for being a little childish, he didn’t care, he deserved it.

*H50*  
“C’mon, we have a case,” Steve said coldly as he stuck his head inside Danny’s office. Danny glanced up from his paperwork to see Steve’s backside already retreating towards the central computer table.

Danny sighed. He knew Steve would be angry when he got home and found the car missing and Danny nowhere to be found. He also knew that Steve could be a stubborn ass and wouldn’t budge when he felt that he had been wronged. It did not matter, like in this particular instance, that Steve had done the wronging first. Yes, Danny could hear his mother scolding him inside his head, ‘Two wrongs don’t make a right, Daniel’.

Danny stood around the computer table with the rest of the team listening to Chin read off the main case details before they sprung into action – Chin and Kono running through e-mails and visiting Max, respectively, and Danny and Steve assigned to go to the crime scene and talk with the victim’s husband.

Danny saw the gleam in Kono’s eye as she suggested the boss man and his partner take a nice ride over to Pearl City to gather statements; Avery had to have called Kono that morning, warning her that a stand-off between the two of them was in full force. Danny loved Avery immensely, but she had an uncanny ability of meddling where she didn’t belong, namely her parents’ relationship. She said it was how she showed her love. Danny tried to tell her to stay out of it, but Avery would shrug her shoulders and give him the biggest Steve-like grin she could manage, knowing full well Danny became a puddle of nothingness in front of that face.

Steve gave Danny an icy glare and walked towards the door, pulling out his own set of keys to the Camaro. Danny shot daggers at Kono as he followed behind. She was not going to get away with forcing him to deal with a long, awkward car ride with Steve.

“No comment about me driving the car,” Steve asked as he pulled sharply out of the parking spot in front of HQ.

Danny snorted but didn’t rise to the bait.

“I guess I should have taken my truck, you know, since we already polluted the air twice as much this morning because my usual ride had left long before it normally does every day.”

“Seriously?” Danny couldn’t help himself, he had tried, but it was just too much. “You are going to start this fight with an argument over the pollution levels, really?”

“I wasn’t aware that I was starting a fight.” Steve’s voice was level and his eyes remained focused on the road in front of him, not even shifting in their sockets to look towards Danny.

“Well, you were…are…I mean, whatever, I’m not talking to you.”

“Fine, I don’t want to talk to you either.”

“So more with the childish behavior, huh?”

“I’m sorry,” Steve’s head whipped around with that comment, “You are calling me childish? What does that make you then?”

“It makes me an adult with better anger management and social skills.”

“Better anger management skills? Are you fucking serious? Since when is leaving at 4:15 in the fucking morning when I’m gone, no note, nothing to indicate where you are going, good anger management skills? How is refusing to talk to me and starting a fight good social skills? Please explain this to me since you seem to be so well-informed.”

Danny wanted to hit him, really. He felt the need bubbling up inside his chest, thrashing at the back of his throat, twisting his stomach into knots as his fingers clenched into fists. But Danny had enough anger management skills to know that hitting Steve would be extremely counterproductive and also highly dangerous since Steve was driving. Instead, Danny resigned to fight back with one of his most proficient skills, words.

“You left first.”

So, maybe words were failing Danny at the moment.

“And you think I’m childish,” Steve deadpanned.

Danny banged his hands against the dashboard in frustration, banged his fist against the window, and kicked the floor with his foot. He couldn’t figure out what to say to Steve, knowing that the appropriate thing to do in this situation was to act like the grown man he was and come clean with how upset Steve had made him that morning. But, god damn, if Danny just wanted Steve to admit he was wrong, come clean with the phone call (because, seriously, if Steve did not realize that this whole shit-tastically awful morning was started by that, Danny had serious concerns for his neurological functioning), and apologize for upsetting Danny and not handling it properly in the first place.

“I have anger management issues?”

Danny had had enough, “Pull the fucking car over, McGarrett.”

Danny saw Steve wince at Danny’s use of his last name; soon after their burgeoning relationship had gotten off the ground, Danny had refrained from calling Steve by his last name in their relationship and instead saved it only for professional situations when calling him ‘sweetie’ probably wouldn’t be looked upon with favor.

“No.”

“Yes,” Danny yelled, much louder than was particularly necessary given the fact that they were confined in the tight spaces of the Camaro’s front seat. “Pull the fuck over right now or so help me God…”

Steve steered the car onto the dirt shoulder and put it into park. Danny took one last fuming glance towards his husband and got out of the car and slammed the door shut behind him. Danny counted five steps before he heard the slam of a second car door and the recognizable footfalls of Steve following after him.

Danny refused to turn around, stop, or do any other sort of movement that would indicate that he was giving in.

“Danny, stop behaving like Avery does when she doesn’t get to sleep over Evie’s house on a school night, it’s unbecoming.” Danny could hear the slight edge of desperation and pleading through Steve’s otherwise sarcastic comment. Good, Danny smiled to himself, let Steve worry and fret over Danny’s behavior. For once Danny is happy to not have to be the one constantly fretting.

Danny made no move to acknowledge his partner’s words and instead continued on towards the busy streets of Honolulu.

“Danno, hold up, just, talk to me, okay,” Steve had finally manage to catch up to Danny, putting a hand on Danny’s arm, halting his progress.

“Get your hands off of me, Steven,” Danny growled, not ready to give in and let Steve think this fight was even close to over.

Steve dropped his hand as if Danny’s arm was on fire and gave Danny a look of pure despair and confusion; Steve had no idea why Danny was so upset.

Oh fuck it all, Danny yelled in his head towards the heavens. He was fed up. He was no longer going to give in and tell Steve what was wrong; Steve was just going to have to figure it out on his own.

“Thanks,” was all Danny said before turning back around and stomping in the direction of the nearest building. “And do not follow me or come looking for me. I will be back tonight.”

Danny didn’t bother to turn and look at the sure-to-be-there aneurysm face Steve was sporting. He continued walking in his determined fashion even though each step that brought him farther away from Steve’s still form sliced daggers through his heart.

Steve didn’t follow, for once listening to what Danny had said.

And if Danny’s day hadn’t already been awful, it got increasingly worse as he realized how badly he wished Steve would ignore his request and follow after him, refusing to let him go.

Danny kept walking and soon he heard the familiar sound of the Camaro’s engine as it turned over and the squeal of the tires as Steve peeled off the shoulder, leaving Danny utterly alone in a place full of people.

*H50*  
Danny really hadn’t thought this plan out. After a few more minutes of angry walking, his gait turned into a depressed stroll as the events of the morning washed over him, swallowing up his heart and soul in one big gulp, spitting it back out chewed and mangled for Danny to put back together again.

Steve and Danny rarely fought. Well, they fought every day, but that was more or less good-natured teasing and frustration; that was how they said ‘I love you’ in situations that were inappropriate for words like that to be said. Steve would do something stupid, like jump headfirst onto a moving boat, and Danny would chastise him for twenty minutes about dangerous acrobatics. Steve would smile and nod his head while Danny ranted until he was out of breath. Steve knew it was Danny’s way of saying, ‘You scared the ever living shit out of me and you are never to do that again, even though I know you will and I still love you for it.’

But, in all the years they’d been together, Danny could count on one hand the number of times they’d truly fought. And this had to have been the worst. Not once had either of them actually walked away. Sure, Steve would huff and puff and leave for a run, but Danny knew just as well as Steve that he would come back sweaty and breathless, with a clear mind and ready to work through whatever issue they were facing. But neither of them had ever actually left with no intention of returning in the near future.

This thought made Danny feel like crap. He knew that Steve’s inner demons would surface with Danny’s abandonment behavior, even if Danny sincerely planned on going home later that night. But the memories of earlier bubbled to the forefront of Danny’s mind and his guilt was repressed by a new wave of anger.

Steve had no right to hide anything from him.

Marriage was built on trust and up until today Danny didn’t trust a single person in this world more than he trusted Steve, and Danny felt terrible for thinking that one solitary slip-up made his faith in Steve falter just a little.

Danny’s absent-minded stroll brought him towards the beach and Kamekona’s familiar shave ice stand. Thinking that food would be the perfect mediator for such a crappy day, he walked up to the window.

“Hey, if it isn’t my favorite haole,” Kamekona greeted, “What can I get ya?”

“Grape cone, please,” Danny said, hoping that his short sentences would deter his friend from engaging him in a long conversation.

“Sure thing, brah,” Kamekona yelled the order to his workers in the back and handed Danny back his change, “Where’s your better half this afternoon?”

And there goes that can of worms.

“Steve’s at work and I needed an afternoon snack so I stopped by to say hello. Next time I won’t come without him, sorry.” Danny hadn’t meant for that to come out sounding so harsh, Kamekona was only trying to be friendly and had no idea of the granddaddy of a fight Danny and Steve were currently in.

“Somethin’ ain’t right in paradise, huh,” Kamekona raised his eyebrows at Danny, “Nice to know you two are human after all.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that, overall, you two are one of the most functional couples I’ve ever met. You don’t do things in a traditional way, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you guys truly pissed at each other.”

“Well, take a picture then, big mountain, because I am truly pissed at the giant oaf that I’m married to.”

Kamekona gave him a concerned smile, “That’s rough, brah, but I’m not worried. You guys will work it out.”

Danny grunted in disagreement.

“Believe me or not, but you and the boss are way too perfect for each other for this to be a long-term thing. In fact, I’m surprised this hasn’t happened sooner, what with the both of you being such stubborn mules about being right.”

“I’m not stubborn.”

“You both are, but in very different ways. Look, I’m sure whatever happened will be worked out, you just need to give it time and a little TLC.”

“Really, big guy, tender loving care? You think Super SEAL needs tender loving care?”

“It’s always the tough guys who are the biggest softies on the inside.”

Danny had to snort; he didn’t think Kamekona realized just how on the money he really was with that assessment. Steve was, without a doubt, one of the biggest hopeless romantics Danny had ever met. This didn’t mean Steve was outwardly romantic all the time, that may make Danny hurl, but he did so many little things that showed Danny just how much he cared.

He made lasagna when Grace went back to Rachel’s. He put his glasses on to read the paper in the morning after a particularly rough night because he knew that Danny loved them. He gave Danny the keys to the car after his way too close calls with death because of some crazy ninja-antic.

Danny himself tends to be the more overtly romantic of the two. He leaves notes for Steve at work, on the bathroom mirror, in his dresser drawer. He replaces the picture of their ohana in Steve’s wallet every couple months so it’s always the most recent. He holds Steve’s hand, kisses him, and wraps his arms around his husband’s frame as often as he can. He says ‘I love you’ and ‘I care about you’ out loud as much as possible.

He does this because he knows that Steve needs it. He knows that Steve requires it to function and remind himself that Danny is a permanent fixture in his life and he’s not going anywhere.

Steve is a big softie at heart who has just as much joy spending the evening with Danny and their daughters as he does blowing shit up.

Danny thanks Kamekona for the shave ice and heads back towards home. Since he’s walking it’s going to take him awhile, but he’s glad for the time to think.

Danny knows that his reaction has come purely from his fear that the suspicions that have been building up within the deepest, darkest, most heavily guarded portion of his heart are true. In fact, if Danny’s really honest with himself, he’s been worried about this moment coming to pass for months.

He could sense it. He could feel it.

And now he’s petrified his instincts were right.

The time passed by as Danny walked towards his home, memories flooding his mind – the good, the bad, and the ugly. All in all, Danny’s life with Steve had been happy; there were very few truly ugly moments throughout their relationship.

And no matter what had been thrown their way – from homophobic politicians, strict military rules prohibiting their relationship, parenting two intelligent and quickly growing daughters – they had managed to make it through it all.

And Danny knew they would make it through this, whatever ‘this’ was.

*H50*  
Danny entered the house five hours after having slammed a car door in Steve’s face. He didn’t immediately see anyone; the house was eerily quiet, as he kicked off his shoes and placed his keys in the bowl they kept by the door for such things.

He first walked up the stairs to see all the bedrooms empty, curious where Avery could be, he made his way back downstairs and outside to the lanai which is where he knew Steve would be.

And, of course, Danny was right. Steve was sitting on his deck chair, two beer bottles already sitting on the table, looking out over the wide expanse of the ocean, salt water dripping from his hair.

Danny laughed to himself; Steve had gone for a swim. Even after all this time, Steve’s solution to the most terrible problems was always swimming.

Steve heard Danny approaching, and he turned around and greeted him with a small smile. Danny sat down without a word and Steve pushed the beer in his direction. Danny twisted the cap off and downed half of it in one gulp. They sat in relative silence for a few minutes until Danny heard Steve suck in a deep breath and let it out slowly, a sign that Steve was about to drop a bomb into Danny’s lap.

Danny braced himself; mentally steeling himself against what he knew was coming.

“Danno, we have to talk,” Steve started, barely speaking above a whisper.

“Yeah, I thought we might.”

Danny chanced a glance towards Steve whose eyes locked on his with a look of pure, gut-wrenching pain.

Danny had only seen that look two times before in his life, both times bringing with it the hardest news Danny has ever had to handle. As Danny shifted to move closer to Steve, Steve was unable to keep eye contact, pulling away as he swallowed down the remainder of his beer. Danny’s suspicions were confirmed with that small gesture.

“When do you leave?”


	4. For You, Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter of Family Ties! Hope you all enjoy :) Let me know what you think! Thanks, as always, to my beta jerseybelle for being so quick at getting back to me!

*Danny's POV*

"Two weeks," Steve said as he stood up and walked towards the ocean's edge. Danny followed but stayed a few steps back, giving Steve some space.

Danny officially felt like an ass. He had suspected all along that Steve was going to be deployed; he could feel it in his bones. He'd also been with the man for over ten years and knew exactly how he processed deployments. It was always the same: Steve would need time to process it in his head, then he would tell Danny, and Danny would silently hold him and wait as Steve worked it all out aloud. Finally, after Steve and Danny had dealt with it, together, they would tell Avery and Grace. Danny should have known that Steve would tell him, eventually. But in his defense, Danny hasn't exactly ever been known to be patient.

"Do you know how long you're going to be gone?"

Steve turned around and gave Danny a 'Are you shitting me? How long have we been married again' look.

Danny smiled. "Stupid question."

Steve laughed a little and walked back a few steps so he could wrap his arms around Danny's smaller frame, "I've always been so proud to be a SEAL. I've always been so proud to tell people I'm in the Navy, and I've been proud to serve and protect my country. This is who I am, always has been. At least, that's what I thought. But, for the first time since I started at Annapolis all those years ago I don't feel that same rush of excitement or pride when a mission comes down. I'm not just a SEAL anymore."

"You were never just a SEAL," Danny said as he burrowed his head in Steve's neck.

"Maybe not now, but before, yeah I was. Now, I don't identify as a SEAL, you know. I'm a father and a husband; I'm the leader of 5-0. Sure, I still go by Commander, but very rarely do I ever actually tell people 'I'm a Navy SEAL' or 'I'm in the Navy' when they ask me what I do. I always say I lead the 5-0 task force. I just have a bad feeling this time, Danny."

"C'mon, Super SEAL, you can't talk like that." Danny was at a loss; he had never seen Steve so unsure of a mission before. Steve was always ecstatic when a new mission arose. Though Steve hated leaving Danny, Avery, and Grace behind, Steve was first and foremost a Navy man and he always responded when his country needed him. Today, though, Steve was distraught. It was obvious that Steve did not want to go on this mission, didn't want to go back to the land where grenades and K-Bars and AK-47 rifles were common accessories. He didn't want to join up with his crazy SEAL buddies who enjoyed armed conflict just as much as he did.

Danny was officially worried, a whole lot more worried than he was five minutes ago when Steve revealed that he was leaving. A distracted sailor was at a higher risk of injury and death. Steve needed to go into this mission with a clear head. And Danny cursed the heavens because, unfortunately, the task of making sure that Steve' head was clear fell on him. Why again did he agree to marry a military man? Oh, yeah, because he happened to fall in love with some homicidally-crazed Navy SEAL who enjoyed hiding military grade explosives and weaponry in their house and car.

"Steve," Danny started as he tightened his hold on Steve, "Being a SEAL is still a part of who you are. Being a father, being a husband, those are other things that make up who you are. And all of those things add up into an amazing man who has the strength to get through this, and will get through this. You are Super SEAL, and Super SEAL needs to come back to those he loves and be the husband and the father after he's done being the SEAL."

"Danno," Steve whispered.

"Shh, it's okay babe," Danny soothed. "Let's go upstairs. Where's Avery tonight?"

"Evie's house. I wanted to talk to you first."

Danny nodded and guided Steve towards the back door, inside the house, and up the stairs. "You get ready for bed and I'll go lock up the house."

Danny gave Steve a quick kiss before making his way back downstairs. "I love you, Steve."

"Love you too, Danno."

Danny made quick work of locking up the house and setting the alarm system. When he got back to their bedroom, Steve was already in bed, glasses perched on his nose, reading the most recent issue of Guns & Ammo. "Huh, really, Steven? I think you're just asking to get mocked."

Danny was rewarded with a half-smirk that Steve was quite famous for. Danny pulled off his work clothes and dressed in a pair of sweats and a NAVY t-shirt.

"You know, I love it when you wear my clothes," Steve said with a smile as Danny snuggled up next to him.

"I know," Danny was kissing his way up Steve's exposed forearm, over his shoulder, up his neck, to the sensitive spot right behind Steve's ear.

"Mmm."

Jackpot.

"Danno," Steve was whining as the magazine fell from his hands. Danny smiled against Steve's sweet skin and continued his exploration of his husband's body. Danny finally made it to Steve's mouth where Steve responded hungrily, the magazine falling off his lap and onto the floor as he took over and turned Danny onto his back, pinning him down to the bed.

"Steven…" Danny began.

"No. Mine," was the only thing Steve got out before he captured Danny's lips in his own again. And though Danny had wanted to take it slow, remind Steve of their connection, their love, and Danny's unfaltering presence in his life, Steve was having none of that. And frankly, as Steve's skilled hands moved under the fabric of Danny's t-shirt pulling it over his head, Danny could care less as long as Steve's hands and mouth never left his body.

After Steve rid Danny of his shirt, he went to pull his glasses off, but Danny grabbed Steve’s arm, "Keep 'em on."

Steve quickly acquiesced to Danny's request, and as he watched the be-speckled SEAL begin to work his way down his throat towards his collarbone, he relaxed into Steve's grasp, becoming malleable jelly under the control of Steve's willpower. Danny was a strong guy and he usually matched Steve's energy and strength, but today was about Steve and what Steve wanted.

Steve wanted to memorize Danny's skin, memorize the taste of his mouth, the rough feel of his calloused hands running along his body.

He wanted to spend the time taking in every inch of Danny's form in hopes of bringing just enough of the memory along to a war-torn country, far away from his lover, to get him through the long and lonely nights.

So, Danny gave in and let Steve take the lead.

*H50*  
The next morning dawned bright as Danny felt the warm rays of sunlight stream through the curtains. He stretched his sore muscles and rolled over and came face-to-face with his smiling husband.

"Good morning, Steven," Danny said as he continued to work out his muscles; their love-making had extended far into the night and Steve hadn't given Danny enough time to come down before he was already at him for a second round.

Steve stole a quick kiss before he placed a steaming mug of coffee in Danny's hands. "Good morning, Danno."

Danny accepted the bitter liquid gratefully and took a giant gulp. The caffeine began to jolt his system awake as he took in Steve's recently washed hair and the pair of dry board shorts that hung low on his hips, "You already went for a swim, didn't you?"

Steve nodded, "Needed to get out some pent up energy."

"You still had pent up energy after last night?"

There was that damn half-smirk again. "No, last night was step one in releasing said pent up energy."

"Oh, there are steps involved?"

"Mhm. First step…"

"Sex."

Steve grinned, "Yup, first step is sex, amazing sex. That's really the key for step one. If the sex sucks then you really just end up with more energy, so you have to make sure to pick your partner wisely."

"How'd it work out for you then?"

"Incredibly."

Danny couldn't help the blush that began to form at the base of his neck and creep up towards his ears. Steve smiled and gave Danny another kiss. "Step Two is swimming, then?"

Steve nodded, "Well, step two is exercise, but I usually chose to swim."

"Okay, what's step three?"

"More sex."

"More sex, really? You still have enough pent up energy for more sex?"

"Danny, I always have enough energy for sex."

"That I know very well," Danny laughed. "So after more sex, what comes next? How many steps are there? Why are you going through these steps again?"

"Babe, one question at a time."

Danny rolled his eyes.

"After more amazing sex, remember the emphasis is on amazing, we finally get down to talking about whatever it is that is forcing me to have pent up energy. In this case, it's telling the girls I'm leaving. The final step is actually telling them. So in all," Steve counted on his fingers, "that's five steps."

"Okay, so sex then talking." Danny placed his now empty coffee mug gently on the bedside table before turning back towards Steve, eyes darkening with lust. "I can work with that, but you are wearing entirely too many clothes to successfully complete this step, and I would be remiss to hinder you in your attempts at working through these steps quickly."

Steve leaned forward and pressed his lips against Danny's as Danny's fingers found the tie on Steve's board shorts and began to tug them down.

*H50*  
After a shower and a second cup of coffee (ninja-star had kept him up late last night), Danny was downstairs, tie hanging loosely around his neck, waiting for Steve to finish getting dressed for work. Danny glanced at the clock on the microwave; they had some time to talk before they had to leave.

Steve's steps gradually slowed as he came down the stairs and saw Danny sitting expectantly at the kitchen table. "Am I in trouble?"

The kitchen table tended to be their chosen venue for discipline problems in their family unit. Usually these discussions involved Danny and Steve on one side and one or both girls on the other. Occasionally, Steve was the offending party.

In this case, however, Danny just wanted to talk about how they were going to broach the subject of Steve's deployment with the girls. Honest. He was not, under any circumstances, going to chastise Steve for his career choices. No, not at all. In this moment he was not angry that the damn wonderful man taking a seat across from him had to be in the Navy. No, he wasn't thinking that at all.

Okay, maybe he was, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let Steve know that. Steve didn't deserve that.

"No, you goon, you aren't in trouble. I just want to talk."

"Alright, what about?"

"You really have no idea as to what I may want to talk about?"

"Well, with you it really could be a myriad of things, but I'm guessing the safe bet is my deployment."

"I guess that means your particular brand of crazy hasn't completely fried all of your brain cells."

"Shut up, Danno," Steve replied good-naturedly.

"I just wanted to discuss, briefly, what you were thinking in terms of telling the girls."

Steve remained quiet across from him, sitting stiff and rigid in the kitchen chair. "I'm not sure. I sort of want to tell Avery separate from Grace, and please hear me out before you rant, I'm begging you, please, just this once."

Danny motioned for him to continue, biting down on his lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Avery's birthday is in three weeks. I'm going to be deploying a week before, and you know that she's been talking about this birthday for months."

"Sixteenth birthdays are a big deal," Danny agreed.

"Right, well you know she's going to be devastated when she finds out that I'm not going to be there for her birthday or to see her pass her driver's test."

Danny nodded; Steve, so far, was being thoroughly accurate and logical.

"So, I thought, especially since the girls haven't been on the best terms lately, that maybe we could tell just Avery and do something special just the three of us for her birthday. And if she wants, maybe we could have a party or something with everyone before I leave. I just want to do something to make her feel special and that I won't forget her birthday and that I feel terrible for leaving seven days before she turns sixteen."

"Okay, sailor, I think that would be okay."

Danny watched Steve let out a breath he had clearly been holding, "But I do think that we should plan something, just the four of us, before you leave. The girls have been acting a little strange, I'll admit that, but they both love you and if our family is going to be missing one important member for awhile I know the girls won't want whatever is going on between them to get in the way of our family spending the last of your time here together."

"I think that sounds perfect, Danno," Steve said as he got up off his chair, gave Danny a quick kiss, and made his way towards the door, "C'mon, car's leaving and I'm not waiting for you."

"Bastard."

*H50*  
Five-0 had been having a quiet week, and so the team spent most of the morning working alone in their respective offices. Danny was slowly working through his metaphorical stack of paperwork (everything was digitized now, something that Danny hated because electronic paperwork meant you couldn't actually see the pile getting smaller), Kono was running background checks on all the known accomplices of a drug runner they had spent days trying to build a case against, and Chin was installing updates to all of their electronic equipment. Danny glanced towards Steve's office to see what their fearless leader was working on because Danny knew that Steve was not working on paperwork since, somehow, all of his paperwork had landed on Danny's desk.

Danny wishes that surprised him, but it didn't.

But it did appear as if Steve was doing paperwork. Danny was a detective, and all the signs pointed to Steve doing paperwork: he was wearing his glasses (after years of squinting, Steve finally relented to Danny's constant ranting and started wearing his glasses at work), his hands were gripping his hair, trying hard not to pull it out, and his face was wearing his constipated look. Yup, all signs pointed to Steve doing paperwork.

Except Steve didn't have any paperwork, at least not for 5-0. So, Danny, being the ever-so-loving husband that he was, decided to go see what his man was up to. His walk across the office had nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with his own curiosity. Nope, he was just being a supportive husband taking an interest in his spouse's current activity. That was a sign of a positive relationship, right?

"What are you doing?"

Steve looked up with a face that was a cross between 'deer caught in the headlights' and 'thank god I don't have to stare at this paperwork for another second,' "Um, uh, paperwork."

"I know for a fact that you don't have any paperwork because it all somehow miraculously ended up on my desk, which we need to have another discussion about by the way."

"It's not 5-0 stuff."

"That what kind of stuff is it?"

"It's just boring paperwork, Danny; what's with the third degree?"

"Third degree? This is so far from my version of the third degree that it wouldn't even recognize the third degree if it made it there."

"Are you doing that stringing words together hoping they make sense thing again?"

"Nice try, buddy, distracting me by getting us off topic isn't going to work. Now, tell me what you're doing."

"Do you have to know everything?"

"I'm your husband and your partner."

"This does not entitle you to know every last detail in my life."

"It entitles me to know a whole hell of a lot."

"Well, this falls under the 'don't need to know' category."

"Steven."

"Daniel."

"Really?"

Steve raised one eyebrow in his direction, goading him to try to wear him down. "I'm not giving in, Steven, so put that eyebrow right back down."

"Danny, I know you won't give in," Steve laughed as he got up and walked towards his partner, "I was only hoping that maybe you could let it go for a few hours, let me finish this crap first."

"Talk now, finish crap later."

Okay, he was five, sue him, his husband was leaving for a goddamn desert in two weeks.

Steve sighed and rubbed a hand down his face, "Fine, but I'm warning you that I tried to convince you to let it go."

"Duly noted, please, for the love of god, just tell me what you are working on."

"My will."

"Oh." That sure stopped Danny in his tracks. "So, you couldn't wait 24 hours before preparing to die."

"Danny," Steve started, but Danny didn't give him the opportunity to explain because he was already out the door and out of the building before Steve had the chance to say his full name.

*H50*  
Yes, Danny was well aware that he was a bastard. In fact, he hadn't made it farther than the sidewalk in front of the palace before his pace slowed to a walk and then to a complete stop.

"Ah, dammit," Danny cursed aloud to no one in particular.

"You know, I'm really not a fan of this new habit of yours."

Okay, so apparently Danny wasn't alone. Apparently, his husband had followed him outside and was actually acting like the sane and rational one in their relationship.

Oh, big trouble; Danny was in big trouble.

Danny turned around to look at Steve who was standing a few steps away from him, hands in his pockets, looking like he was teetering on the edge of a tall cliff, waiting to see if someone was going to be at the bottom to catch him if he fell.

Danny really needed to start acting like the mature adult he was. "Come here, Rambo," he said as he gestured for Steve to move closer. Danny saw his shoulders visibly relax and a smile replace the hardcore aneurysm face Steve had going on, "I'm sorry I'm such an idiot."

"S'okay, Danno."

"No, it's not," Danny started, hands moving around in front of him with a mind of their own, "I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have even gotten angry; I just don't know how to handle this part of it."

"I know. That's why I was trying to do it without you knowing."

Danny's pretty sure his heart just melted.

Yup, that pile of red goo on the ground was definitely his heart. "Babe, you don't have to protect me. I'm supposed to be protecting you, getting you ready for your mission."

"Danny, you aren't a normal Navy spouse and we are not a normal Navy couple, so please stop acting as if you have to be a forlorn Navy wife and just treat me the way you usually do."

Danny laughed, he couldn't help it. Steve had used forlorn in a sentence. "Pulling out the big words huh, sailor."

"Only to impress you, did it work?"

Danny didn't say anything, but he did press his lips against Steve's because words were failing him at the moment.

"D, I remember how you react to me updating my will and checking over all that paperwork every time I've been deployed. I was trying to prevent that from happening. I never meant to hide anything from you, and I was not making sure everything is in order because I'm leaving thinking I'm going to die. I just want to be prepared."

"You know I really hate it when you use reason and logic," Danny said. "I can't argue with reason and logic."

"Good."

"So, we're okay?"

"Yes, Danno, we're okay."

*H50*  
"Hey, can we talk about something," Steve asked as he walked into Danny's office at the end of the day.

"Sure. Are you ready to go home?"

Steve nodded and waited as Danny closed up the last of his files and powered down his computer. Steve jingled the car keys, signaling to Danny that he was, once again, driving his car.

"Does the concept of my car mean anything to you?"

"But, Danno, I thought what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine?"

Danny rolled his eyes and settled into the passenger seat; there wasn't any use arguing about who got to drive, Steve would still win.

After they got underway, Danny asked Steve what he wanted to talk about.

"Oh, Avery's birthday present."

Danny's eyes narrowed, he knew where this was going. "No, Steven, no."

Steve attempted to his best at feigning innocence; Danny saw right through it, "No, we've already had this discussion. Avery is not getting a car."

"But, Danny, Grace has a car. How do you think Avery is going to feel if she doesn't get one?"

"That she's like every other normal teenager in this country who has to save up and buy their first car."

"Danny, we can afford to buy Avery a car. I'm not saying she needs to have a really expensive car like Grace's, but a nice, dependable car."

"It's the principle of the whole thing; just because we can afford to buy Avery a car doesn't mean we should."

"When I'm gone you will sure enjoy her having a car."

"How do you figure that?"

"If she has a car you will not have to do all of the carpooling and driving every morning and every afternoon."

"She gets a ride from her swim friends most afternoons."

"Fine, every morning then. If you agreed to let us get her a car you wouldn't have to wake up at the 'ass crack of dawn' every morning to take her."

So, Steve may have had a good point there, but he was not backing down on this one. "Steven, no car."

"Danno," apparently Steve was not above whining to get his way on this one.

"Why is this so important to you?"

"For a lot of reasons, the main one being that I got a car on my sixteenth birthday and I would like to give one to my daughter. And I'm not saying that she shouldn't have any responsibility in terms of the car, but I do think it will make our lives a whole lot easier, and she's a great student, she works her ass off at swimming, and she deserves it."

"When you say responsibility, what are you thinking?"

"She is responsible for keeping it clean, keeping the maintenance up, and paying for gas. If she gets a speeding ticket or into an accident, that's her fault, she has to pay for the ticket or damages and she loses the car."

"I think I can live with that."

"So, are you saying we can get her a car?"

"Yes, you big oaf, we can get her a car."

"Thanks, Danno."

"You're welcome, Steven."

Danny couldn't help at give in to Steve's request. Honestly, no one can resist the kicked puppy face he gets when something he's excited about doesn't go his way. Plus, Danny wasn't completely sure why he was so adamantly opposed to getting Avery a car. Steve was right, she was extremely responsible and barely stepped a toe out of line; they could trust her with a car.

Danny just didn't want her to think it was a bribe or a band-aid to soften the blow of finding out her father's being deployed, again. Avery never took her father's deployments well. Avery was first and foremost a daddy's girl and she always had been. Over the years Danny marveled at the uncanny similarities between his husband and their daughter. Avery opened up to Steve a whole lot more than most teenage girls do, and their shared passion for the water helped keep them connected through the years.

Danny knew that Avery loved him just as much, but there was always going to be a special place in her heart reserved only for Steve, and Danny was just fine with that.

"Steve, we need to tell Avery tonight," Danny said as they got out of the car. "You know she's going to be more upset if we wait and hide it from her."

"I know," Steve sighed as he opened the door, "It's just not a conversation I'm looking forward to."

"Then it's better to do it sooner rather than later, rip the band-aid off, you know."

"Alright, when she gets home from practice tonight."

"Tonight," Danny agreed. "I'll make chicken pot pie since it's her favorite."

"She's going to know the minute she walks in here and smells that that something is wrong."

"You think?"

"Of course I do, she's a McGarrett. We can smell a set-up from a mile away."

Danny laughed. "That you can, babe that you can."

And he set to work busying himself in the kitchen, putting together a home-cooked meal of all of Avery's favorite comfort foods. Maybe Steve was right, maybe she would be able to smell the cushion of food from a mile away, but Danny didn't care. He would do anything to make this even a tiny bit better for his little girl, even if she didn't appreciate it right away.

He would be there for her, always.


	5. Afraid to Lose You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry that this chapter took forever to post! I've been crazy busy the past few weeks (oh grad school!), and I haven't had as much time to write as I wish I did. I traveled to Chicago to surprise my fiance last weekend, and I had been doing homework non-stop for a week and a half prior so that I didn't have to do homework while I was there. I also lost my grandmother yesterday, and I had been driving to visit her every day since I arrived back on Sunday, again making writing very difficult. But, I'm back and once I catch back up with my homework I will (hopefully) be back on a regular updating schedule. This is a longer chapter so I hope it makes up for the longer wait!
> 
> I also want to thank my wonderful beta, jerseybelle, for her quick work at getting this back to me! Let me know what you think of this newest chapter :)

*Avery's POV*

Her dad always said that McGarretts could sense a set-up from a mile away. Danno said they just enjoyed ruining surprises and thoughtful gestures.

Whatever the reason, Avery’s senses were on high alert when she opened the door to her house after a particularly grueling swim practice. The familiar scent of chicken pot pie greeted her as soon as she stepped over the threshold, and a quick glance towards the kitchen revealed both of her parents seated at the table, everything but the pot pie spread out in front of them.

Chicken pot pie was her favorite and Danno only made it for two reasons: her birthday and bad news. Her birthday was coming up, but her special birthday meal was always reserved for her actual birthday, not three weeks before. So, Avery’s mind quickly ruled out a happy reason for the homemade meal. This left her with the second reason, bad news.

Her reasoning was further confirmed by the fact that her parents had been sitting at the kitchen table waiting for her with slightly creepy smiles on their faces, their faces a mix of fear and sadness. Her dad’s face also sported a slight smirk which meant he knew that she had figured out there was a reason for the chicken pot pie, and Danny’s face displayed a myriad of other emotions including determination, relief, and love.

Avery had only seen those complicated faces two other times in her life, and neither of those times led to happy memories.

Those faces meant deployment.

“Stop staring at me,” she snapped, wincing at the harshness that had already found its way into her voice. They hadn’t confirmed her suspicions, yet, “You guys are creeping me out.”

“Sorry, Aves,” Danny said as he got up from his seat and walked towards the kitchen to get the pot pie out of the oven, “Sit down and have dinner with us; I made your favorite.”

Avery rolled her eyes and Steve laughed, “I told you she’d know the minute she walked in the house, Danno.”

“Whatever,” Danny grumbled as he put the steaming dish in the center of the table. “From now on I do nothing nice for either of you. I get no appreciation at all.”

“I appreciate it, Danno, really,” Avery said to help soften the tension that had begun to build up in Danny’s shoulders. She had come to terms with what it meant being the daughter of a Navy SEAL a long time ago, her father’s job forcing her to grow up earlier than normal, but she knew how difficult it still was for Danny.

“Thank you, Avery. I’m glad that you haven’t completely inherited your father’s poor social skills.”

“Nah, I’ve lived with you way too long to have any problems communicating.”

“And the love disappears, again,” Danny grinned towards Avery as she began to serve herself.

The family ate in a comfortable, but slightly awkward silence. It was clear that something was up, and Avery was on pins and needles waiting for whatever announcement her Dads wanted to make. Steve and Danny were shifting around in their seats, clearly nervous about broaching the uncomfortable subject.

Avery dropped her fork onto her plate with a clatter. “Okay, I really can’t take it anymore. Please just tell me why you tried to bribe me with chicken.”

She looked across the table at both of her fathers. Steve cleared his throat and Danny averted his eyes, unable to look her in the eye.

She knew it, deployment.

“No, you’ve got to be kidding me. You’re leaving, again?”

Steve nodded as Avery pushed her chair away from the table. “When?”

“Two weeks.”

“Perfect, you’re going to miss my birthday.”

“I know, Sweet Pea, but we can do something fun before I leave.”

Avery walked towards the staircase, grabbing her bag along the way. “It’s not the same.”

Avery heard her father call after her and heard the familiar scrape of his chair against the floor, but she didn’t look back. If she looked back he would see the tears in her eyes and she wasn’t ready to be the blubbering little girl who couldn’t handle her father leaving. It wasn’t like she hadn’t dealt with this feeling before. She was used to her dad leaving without much warning at all, but today she couldn’t bring herself to be thankful for the prior knowledge of his deployment.

Today she just felt alone.

*H50*  
Avery had fallen into a fitful sleep and the shrill of her alarm clock going off at four-thirty was an unwelcome noise.

“Fucking, damned, stupid, clock,” she cursed as she hit it off the bedside table in an attempt to snooze the noise. “God dammit,” she added for emphasis.

“Language,” she heard from her doorway, scaring her in her half-awake state, making her jump.

“Don’t you knock?” she asked as her father walked towards the fallen alarm clock, picked it up, and placed it back on the nightstand.

“I was going to but I heard my daughter cursing like a sailor and then I heard a crash, so I felt the need to verify she was okay,” Steve said as he sat in the chair across from her bed.

“Well, I’m fine; I learned my language skills from my sailor dad, and my alarm clock and I just weren’t seeing eye to eye at the moment. You can leave now.”

“I wanted to check and see how you were doing.”

“Dad, it’s four-thirty in the morning; I don’t want to talk.” She knew it wasn’t exactly fair to give her father the cold shoulder, but she couldn’t help the feeling of abandonment that had been welling up inside her since her worst fears were confirmed.

“When are you going to want to talk?”

“The day after never.”

“Why are you acting like such a smartass?”

“Language, Dad.”

“I’m the parent; you don’t get to scold me.”

“I think I just did.”

“Avery, I know that you are only acting like this because you are upset, and I get that. But you know that I didn’t have a choice.”

“I know that you had the choice to leave the Navy multiple times since you moved back to Hawaii, but you chose not to.”

“Avery, you know it’s not that simple. Being in the Navy is my job.”

“No, 5-0 is your job.”

“Yes, 5-0 is my job, but so is being a reservist.”

“You don’t have to be a reservist.”

“Avery…”

“No, stop it, Dad. Stop giving me that stupid pitying look like it’s going to make me feel better. You are leaving by choice because you chose to be selfish and stay in the Navy even though you have another job and a family that needs you.”

“I love you so much, Avery, and the last thing I want to do is leave you and Danno and Grace.”

“Then why are you leaving?”

“Avery, I think you are old enough to understand that these things are never simple; life is not black and white.”

“Dad, if we are going to get into a philosophical discussion about life choices can we please wait until after I swim?”

She watched her father sigh and push himself up from the chair, “Fine, but I’m picking you up from practice and we are discussing this.”

“But, Dad I love it when Danno picks me up,” she pouted. It was her last ditch effort at delaying the conversation she knew her father was going to make her have.

“Then we can both pick you up, your choice. Either we have this conversation just the two of us or with Danno; I’m fine either way,” Steve was about to close the door, “Make sure you let Danno know before he drops you off.”

“Whatever.”

“We’ll work on your vocabulary some more, too. Danno would be so disappointed if he heard you talking like that.”

Avery couldn’t help but laugh at her father’s innocent smirk as he closed the door just in time to miss the pillow she had sent flying in his direction. “Danno is less coherent than I am this early in the morning so I get a free pass.”

She could hear her father’s laugh as he walked back down the hall towards his bedroom. She knew he was going for a swim and she suddenly longed for the days of her childhood when she would wake up early in the morning, put on her swimsuit and wait outside her parents’ bedroom door for Steve to come out dressed in his board shorts, ready for his morning swim.

Avery groaned as she rolled herself out of bed and towards the always-present gym bag at the foot of the bed and dug around for a semi-dry one-piece and a pair of shorts.

*H50*  
“Good morning, Munchkin,” Danny greeted Avery as she walked into the kitchen. His hair was sticking up in multiple directions and he was nursing a large cup of coffee. Avery could see the dark circles under his eyes, immediately causing a tight knot to form in the pit of her stomach, knowing that her behavior last night had put them there.

She had refused to speak to either of her parents the rest of the night, even though both of them had tried separately and together to coax her out of her locked bedroom. Steve had even threatened to kick the door in, but Danno had convinced him that would be both counterproductive and costly. Avery hadn’t thought about what her behavior would do to her parents; her anger had clouded her judgment and prevented her from seeing past her foremost thoughts of abandonment.

But, she knew her behavior wasn’t fair. She knew her feelings weren’t completely justified either.

Ever since she was five years old she has never spent a day (unless she was at sleep-away camp or a friend’s house) without at least one of her parents; Danny has been there for her every day, regardless of Steve’s deployment status.

And she knew this time would be no different.

But she couldn’t help the nagging feelings of resentment, abandonment, and longing that crept into her thoughts. Resentment for the job that her father chose to pursue, abandonment from the ever-present reminders of her lack of a mother, and longing for the family she may have had if her mother hadn’t been such a selfish bitch.

Every time those thoughts crept into her mind, though, they were followed by a wave of guilt as all of her greatest memories from her childhood would flash through her mind, and throughout all of them, one of the most consistent presences was Danno.

Avery was well aware of how lucky she was. She had two loving, caring, and devoted parents. She had two parents one could be proud of, and they were her heroes. She knew that there were many children who had one parent, no parents, or parents stuck in some form of terrible custody battles with visits rife with tension and bitterness. She knew how lucky she was to have two parents who loved each other just as much as they loved her, knew that many of the kids at school mocked and poked fun at her out of jealousy.

She may have an unorthodox family unit, but it was clear to everyone who knew Steve McGarrett and Danny Williams just how much they loved each other and their children.

“What’s on your mind, kiddo?” Danny asked, interrupting her internal musings as he placed a plate of toast and pineapple in front of her.

Avery attempted to take a few bites of her toast, but it felt like sand in her mouth. “Nothing, just tired.”

“Yeah, we all had a rough night last night.”

Avery grunted her opinion across the table.

“You don’t think we all had a rough night last night?”

Avery looked up at her Danno and gave him her patented, ‘Are you shitting me’ look, something she had learned long ago from her father; it drove Danno crazy.

“First off, put that face away because the last thing I want to see at five o’ cock in the morning is a face you learned from your father. Second, I know that your look and grunts of disbelief are not directed at me but at your dad, and I want to be the first to inform you that he barely slept two hours last night because he’s worried about you. You have not been making this easy on him, and he’s been taking it hard.”

“Taking it easy on him?” Avery’s voice raised a few octaves at the end, her tired mind unable to control the emotions coursing through her body. “Why should I take it easy on him? He’s the one that decided to up and leave to go to the desert or the jungle or wherever the hell they’re going to send him on some crazy, life-threatening mission. This was supposed to get easier, saying goodbye.”

Her shoulders slumped and Danny’s frame became blurry as her eyes welled up. She couldn’t bear to look at him, but she heard him place the coffee mug on the counter and walk around the island and pull out the chair next to hers.

“Avery,” he started, putting a comforting hand on her leg, “You never want saying goodbye to get any easier. You want to be able to learn from previous deployments how to make it through, you want to remind yourself that your father is a highly-trained Navy SEAL who is very good at what he does, and you want to always tell yourself that your father will do everything in his power to come back to you and to us. The last thing you should ever want is for saying goodbye to him to become easier. Saying goodbye should be hard, it should make you remember how much you love him. But, you also have to remember how hard saying goodbye is for him. When you were little we hid those fears and those feelings from you; we focused on what you were feeling and what you were thinking, and we did everything in our power to help you through. Now you’re older and you have the ability to understand that this hurts him just as much as it hurts you, if not more.”

“I’m not naïve enough to think it doesn’t affect him too, but I just don’t understand why he continues to put us through this.”

“He doesn’t have a choice, Avery, you know this. When the Navy calls, he has to answer.”

“He doesn’t have to be in the Navy anymore.”

“No he doesn’t have to be in the Navy anymore, but it’s also not fair for you to ask him to leave behind the only profession he’s ever had. You know just as well as I do how much being in the Navy means to your father.”

“Yeah, apparently it means more to him then me or me having a mother.”

She hadn’t meant for it to slip out, really, she didn’t. But her brain was tired, it was early, and Danno was giving her a look of clear annoyance with her behavior that she couldn’t help it. She braced herself for the ensuing anger, the gesticulating hands, and the diatribe of vocabulary words that would shock an English professor. But it didn’t come. She chanced a glance towards Danny and found him looking not at her but over her shoulder. She turned in her seat to see her father stopped dead in the doorway, a towel stalled at his head where he had clearly been trying to dry his hair.

Avery felt her heart stop cold in her chest as she registered the look her father had on his face – hurt, pure and utter hurt.

She officially felt like shit as she watched her father walk right past her and Danny without even a glance of his eyes in her direction.

“Babe, wait,” Danny’s attempt to console Steve fell on deaf ears as he continued walking without so much as a flinch, stutter, or a semblance of slowing down in response to Danny’s pleading.

Danny turned on Avery, the anger and indignation she had been expecting earlier hitting her with full force, “You are in so much trouble I doubt you’ll be seeing anything outside the four walls of this house for a very, very long time.”

She didn’t argue; she didn’t have it in her to disappoint Danny any further, so she got up from her seat and brought her breakfast dishes to the sink, rinsing and putting them in the dishwasher without Danny having to ask.

“You do know I’m a detective, right,” Danny jibed as she closed the dishwasher.

“Yes, I’m aware of that fact.”

“Good, so you know that I am one hundred percent aware that you are only putting the dishes away without being prompted because you’re in trouble?”

Avery couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips, “You are a very good detective.”

She heard Danny’s footsteps as he approached her by the sink, placing his hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him, “Okay, but you realize that you’ve hurt your father real bad this morning, and that he didn’t do anything to deserve it.”

“I know.”

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

“Apologize?”

“Why did that sound like a question?”

“I wanted you to verify that I was going in the right direction.”

“Last time I checked you were almost sixteen years old and plenty capable of telling when a situation warrants an apology.”

“But, Danno, you are just so much better at all of this mammal-to-mammal conversation stuff.”

“You are certainly your father’s daughter.”

Avery smirked, and began to make her way to the staircase. Just as she was about to descend the flight of stairs, she turned back towards Danny, “Danno, will it be okay if I ask Dad to drive me to practice?”

“Sure thing, Munchkin.”

Avery smiled at her father and continued to make her way up the stairs, her heart beating loudly in her chest; she felt as if she were walking to face the firing squad.

Steve McGarrett was not an easy person to apologize to. No sir. He was an intense Navy Commander who gave you death glares that made you wish you could crawl into a hole and wither away just so you didn’t have to have that stare pinpointed on you. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on her parents’ bedroom door, “Dad, can I come in?”

“Yeah, come in.”

Avery pushed the door open slowly, peeking her head into the room to make sure it was safe. Steve was seated at the foot of his bed, elbows resting on his knees, his shoulders hunched, and his head hung low.

“Dad, I…” Avery started but stopped abruptly when her father put his hand up in the universal gesture of ‘shut up.’

“Please don’t tell me that you are coming up here to tell me you’re sorry for what you said to Danno. Please don’t tell me that you are coming to apologize for saying that I care less about you and your life than I do about my Naval career.”

“I, I…”

“I really don’t know what else I have to do to prove to you how much more important you are to me than anything in this world, including my career. I gave up my active status to move back to Hawaii and raise you. I chose to move back here so that you wouldn’t have to leave the only home you’d ever known. You don’t think I spent every day of the first five years of your life worrying about the fact that you didn’t have a mom in your life? How badly I wanted to give that to you? Give you a family that you could count on to support you through every obstacle and success life threw at you? I wanted nothing more than for you to have every opportunity in life, including the opportunity to have a second parent love and care for you? I’ve always wanted that for you, and I thought I had given that to you, with Danno.”

He whispered the last part and Avery felt like she was two feet tall, “You did give that to me, Dad. I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Avery, don’t lie to me. It’s not going to make anything better. I don’t need you to lie and tell me everything’s fine; I need you to tell me the truth so we can work through it.”

“But I’m scared that I’m going to hurt yours or Danno’s feelings.”

“Avery, you are hurting our feelings by thinking you can’t come to us with anything that’s bothering you. Please, Sweet Pea, tell me what’s going on. Tell me why this deployment has you hurting so much more than normal. I want to help you; Danno and I both do.”

“Will you both drive me to practice?”

“Sure thing, let me just throw on a shirt. Go tell Danno we’re about to leave.”

“Okay,” she had one foot out the door before she turned around and looked back at her father, “And, Dad…”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Aves.”

*H50*  
“So, I guess you guys are just going to make me suffer in silence until I break and tell you what’s on my mind, huh? That’s the parenting tactic you’re taking?”

Neither man made any utterance in response. Instead, Steve continued to look out the window, paying close attention to the traffic in front of him (not that there was much at five o’clock in the morning), and Danny was fiddling with the radio, trying to find a song he was satisfied with.

“Urgh, I get it, okay, Navy SEAL and cop for parents means that I will forever be faced with effective interrogation techniques. I’m sure this could be termed child abuse.”

She did not miss the look Danny and Steve shared with each other, “Fine, I feel abandoned alright, are you happy now? I feel like everyone in my life who’s supposed to stick with me through it all only stays until they’re sick of me. And I know that’s not fair because Danno’s always been here for me, but what does that say about me when my own mother isn’t willing to stick around in my life, but a random guy who’s not even biologically related to me is willing to stick around.”

“First off, Danno is not some random guy; he’s the guy your father married. He’s the man who spent months before we even started dating making sure I had all the support I needed in raising you. And, second, I’m not trying to make you feel like you’ve been abandoned. I know that you’re upset I didn’t choose to leave the Reserves, and I get that, but you also have to realize that this job, the Navy, put food on our table and gave me a living that I used to support you. I can’t just turn my back on my commitment to serve and protect because I found another job. I made a decision a long time ago that I was going to make my career in the Navy.”

“Aren’t you always the person telling me that life doesn’t always end up the way we want?”

“Yes, and I made a decision that changed my planned career trajectory when I transferred to the Reserves. And believe me when I say that every time my commission is up and I have to renew, Danno and I have a long conversation about what the best decision is for our family, and we always put yours and Grace’s well-being first. But, you are still the child and although we trust your judgment and always take your opinion to heart, you are not the parent, we are, and the final decision falls to us.”

“That’s right, Aves,” Danny added for the first time in the conversation. “We would never do anything that we know would hurt you and Grace. And to elaborate on your random guy comment, I may have been random when your father and I first met, but I was anything but random by the time I first met you. And now I’m your guardian and I have taken complete responsibility for your well-being. I believe that you are my own, no matter our relation by blood.”

“I know,” Avery said quietly. “I love this family, and I’ve never once worried about not having one or both of you there to help me through anything. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you, and I know that I probably ended up making it worse by not saying anything.”

“You can tell us anything, Avery,” Steve said as he looked at her through the rearview mirror.

“Anything at all; we will never stop loving you,” Danny added as he twisted in the passenger seat to look at her.

She smiled a small smile at her parents, feeling a little bit better but still incredibly guilty for what she had put her parents, especially her dad, through, “Dad, I am so sorry for everything I said this morning and last night. I know that you never truly want to leave me, but that it’s your job and you don’t have a choice.”

“I would never leave you if I wasn’t completely sure that you would be well taken care of.”

She watched as her parents gave each other a look, a look she called ‘My parents are sickening,’ and saw their hands intertwine on the console between the two seats. She smiled and leaned her head against the back of the seat, closing her eyes and letting the feeling of love wash over her. It was moments like this that reminded her of what she had, not what she didn’t. She had love, a whole lot of it. She had unconditional support, seriously, because both of her parents got up at four-thirty every morning to drive her to swim practice (a definite sign of love where Danno was concerned). She had two parents who never did anything without considering the ramifications on their family. She had everything that so many people wanted: two loving parents, a house by the beach, and a sister who got on her nerves but would always mean the world to her.

Grace.

Thinking about Grace made Avery’s heart burn; she was her best friend, at least she used to be. Now Grace ran with a crowd of kids who enjoyed putting down those around them. Avery couldn’t tell you exactly what happened, or pinpoint the exact time they went from best friends to step-sisters. Avery shuddered involuntarily, realizing that at this point the only term one could use to describe her relationship with Grace was step-sisters.

Avery also knew that her parents weren’t stupid, and that they had to know that something was going on between their girls. Avery also knew that at this moment, stuck inside the small confines of the Camaro, the last thing she wanted to talk about was Grace and what Grace had said to make their relationship go from thick as thieves to sworn enemies in five seconds flat.

It started with innocent comments about Rachel and Stan and money. Those comments never really bothered Avery, and since Grace had been living in the mansion with Rachel and Stan for a long time, Avery had gotten used to the occasional bratty, spoiled rich kid comments from her over the years. But, in general, Grace was still very much down-to-earth and enjoyed the fun things she did with Avery, Steve, and Danny a lot more than then the expensive gifts Stan showered upon her.

Everything changed about a month ago when Grace started spending more and more time with a girl from their class named Jessica. Jessica came from an upper-class family and only spent time with other trust fund kids; Grace had met her at the country club. As the weeks went by, Grace was coming up with more and more excuses to not go out when Avery called and asked if she wanted to do something. Avery became concerned after the fifth failed attempt to get together outside of Grace’s designated visitation weekends. It was during a normal Wednesday at school that she overheard a conversation between a group of Jessica’s snobby rich friends talking about the shit that went down the past weekend with Grace. They were laughing and joking about the amount of alcohol consumed and the rather provocative dance that Jessica and Grace put on for everyone gathered. Feeling the anger boil in her blood, Avery stepped up to defend her sister’s reputation, but, before she was able to, Grace pulled her aside and told her to stay out of her business. When Avery tried to defend herself, saying she wasn’t going to try and stick up for Grace (she hadn’t actually started talking so she thought she could get the fib past Grace), Grace didn’t believe her for a second because she knew that Avery was too much like her father for her own good. With the anger still strong and fresh in her mind, she lashed back, confronting Grace with the rumors floating around about her behavior. Grace shrugged it off, said Avery wouldn’t understand. When Avery pushed, Grace’s eyes went cold, the usual laughter and mirth in them extinguished, and Grace told her to butt the hell out and that she would never understand because she didn’t have money or a real family.

It was a punch in the gut, and even though Avery had stopped short of opening her mouth in retort, shocked by the comment, Grace continued, ‘You will never understand because you don’t have a mom to explain to you how to act like a normal girl. You will never be like a normal girl because you only have Dads. Your mother didn’t want you because she knew that you would never be the daughter she wanted. You would always be too much like your dad, love sports, and not want to spend any time doing the normal things girls like to do with their moms.’

Avery felt the tears welling in her eyes, even now, as she replayed those moments back in her mind’s eye while she was sitting in the back of the Camaro. She quickly swiped at the offending droplets, and prayed that neither parent noticed.

A quick glance towards the front confirmed her fear as she saw her father’s eyes staring at her through the rear view mirror. She suddenly became aware of the fact that Danno was talking to her, “…And I was wondering what’s going on between you two?”

She blinked twice, gathering her bearings. He really wasn’t asking what she thought he was asking was he?

“I’m sorry; could you say that again, Danno?”

“I asked about what’s going on between you and Grace, you know, since we are having a heart to heart in the car.”

Avery clammed up, her eyes beginning to water again, because she knew exactly what Danny’s reaction would be to hearing the things his Gracie had said to her. She glanced towards her dad, hoping he was still looking at her with the intense stare he was famous for. Luckily for her, he was, and even luckier for her, he knew her better than most, seeing so much of himself in her behavior. He grabbed Danny’s hand, squeezed it, and saved Avery from having to dish out her biggest secrets, for now. “Danno, let’s leave her alone. It’s been a rough morning.”

Danny looked back at her for a second, noticed the glistening of her eyes, and nodded, “You’re right,” he leaned back and squeezed her thigh, “We love you so much, Avery.”

“Love you, too.”

And in that moment she realized just how much she was going to miss her dad. Danny and Steve were amazing parents in their own right, but it was the deep, organic level at which they understood each other that made their family so strong. Without her Dad to reel Danny in when he pried a little too far for Avery to handle, she wasn’t quite sure what would have happened. If Danny wasn’t around to make sure her Dad opened up about what he was feeling, she may never understand the mysteries that surrounded Steven J. McGarrett.

It hit her hard, the realization that it wasn’t abandonment she was feeling, but fear. Fear that her family was going to be torn apart and may never be put back together again. Danny wasn’t the same without Steve and Steve wasn’t the same without Danny. And without either of them, Avery wasn’t quite sure she’d be able to survive.

She sent a silent prayer skyward, begging whoever controlled destiny to bring her dad home safe, to keep their family intact.

To keep together the bonds they had worked so hard to build up.


	6. Birthday Blowup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait everyone! Unfortunately I have a feeling that's going to be a common apology, grad school is no joke! But I try really hard to update on a semi-regular basis! Plus this chapter is on the longer side so hopefully it will be well worth the wait :) For those of you who have been questioning about where Grace is here's a little more insight into her and Avery's troubled relationship! Don't worry, though, I have big plans for Grace, you just have to be patient!
> 
> Big thanks to my beta jerseybelle for the quick edit!

*Danny's POV*

“Steven, have you stopped listening to me,” Danny grumbled as he attempted to keep up with Steve’s long strides.

“Danny, I stopped listening to your constant chatter out of self-preservation a long time ago,” he responded with the biggest shit-eating grin Danny had seen him manage to date.

“I resent that.”

“I love you very much, Danno, but I really don’t want to hear another complaint about going to yet another car dealership.”

“This is the tenth one! I didn’t even go to a dealership to get my first car…cash payment in a neighbor’s driveway, becoming the proud owner of a ten year old Toyota Corolla.”

“Yeah, how did that car work out for you? Huh? Our daughter is going to be getting into this car; I just want to be sure she’s safe.”

“The car worked just fine, thank you very much. I’m not saying we shouldn’t make sure the car is safe and reliable, I’m just saying that you would think we were shopping for a brand new luxury car that’s going to put us back a hundred grand and not shopping for a reasonably priced used car for Avery.”

“This is still an investment, Danno, regardless of the price.”

“I’m aware of that; I’m just trying to prove a point.”

“By talking me into submission?”

“Hardy har har, you’re hilarious.”

“I know.”

Stupid, freaking Steve-smirk makes Danny’s resolve melt away, making him forget why he was arguing with Steve in the first place.

“C’mon, Danno, this is the last dealership, I promise. We’ve seen plenty of really good options so we can make a decision tonight.”

“Good.”

“Why do you have that smug look on your face?”

“No reason; just that my ‘incessant’ chatter worked.”

“You know, there is that one other dealership in Waipahu we haven’t checked out yet.”

“Continue in that thought process, babe, and you and the couch will be getting intimately familiar with each other tonight.”

Puppy dog eyes met his as he laughed and pushed Steve forward, “C’mon, babe, let’s go find a car.”

Danny was a pushover, he knew, but he couldn’t get enough of Steve’s smile, even after all these years.

*H50*  
Danny stood slack-jawed, frozen in his bedroom door watching Steve move around the room in time to the beat of the music as he sang along to “Livin’ on a Prayer.”

“Bon Jovi; really?” Danny wanted to keep his presence a secret, happy to observe his husband’s attempts at dancing. But the irony of Steve’s song choice was an opportunity he couldn’t turn down.

Steve halted, turning to look at Danny as a blush crept up his neck, reaching the tips of his ears.

“So what were you thinking for Avery’s birthday,” Danny asked Steve as he moved towards the bed and sat down.

“Something low-key, dinner at Hula Grill, we can give her the car. I just want her to know that I’m not going to forget her or her birthday.” Steve’s shoulders slumped as he sat down next to Danny, scrubbing his hands down his face. “I feel like I’m really letting her down this time, Danno. I have this pulling feeling at the bottom of my gut telling me that I shouldn’t go, that she’s going to need me.”

Danny wrapped his arms around Steve’s frame, resting his chin on Steve’s shoulder. “Avery will not be alone. Whatever problems she may encounter while you’re gone, she won’t have to handle them on her own. She knows you love her and no matter what she’s said over the past week, she knows that you have no choice. She talks out of fear; she pushes people away who mean the most to her. That’s how she’s always handled her problems, you know that. She closes herself off and pretends to be angry when she’s really sad or scared. She’s so proud of you; you have always been her hero. She swims for you, babe. You gave that to her and every morning when she dives into the water you will be right there with her, and she’ll feel that, just like she always has. She’s not alone, babe. She has me and she will always have me, no matter what. You forget, sometimes, that you aren’t in this alone anymore; we’re a team. You aren’t a single dad who should feel guilty every time you deploy. You’ve got me to keep this family together when you’re gone, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do, no questions asked. Whatever life brings our way, Avery, Grace, and I will make it through, together, and our family will be here waiting for you when you get back.”

“You know,” Steve glanced up, locking eyes with Danny, “Sometimes your incessant chatter is exactly what I need.”

“That’s a really terrible thank you.”

“I know.”

“But I wouldn’t have it any other way,” and Danny kissed him, feeling their smiles intermingle with each other as they sat for a moment, entangled in each other’s arms, feeling the warmth of their lover against them, the heat reminding them that they were still there, together.

“So, birthday dinner tomorrow?”

Danny nodded. “Tomorrow it is. I’ll tell Avery and then go make tonight’s dinner.”

Steve kissed Danny one more time, the sheer desperation behind the kiss knocking Danny back a few steps. Never, not once, had Steve ever been scared to leave on a mission, and that thought didn’t sit right with Danny, making him more nervous. Danny looked at Steve, opening his mouth to say something, anything, to remind him that this was like any other mission, and that he would come home safe. But the words disappeared off his tongue just as they had appeared. Danny was resigned to kissing away the fears, knowing that words couldn’t fix anything right now.

*H50*  
“You guys are borderline nauseating, you know that, right,” Avery joked as the three family members sat around their usual table at Hula Grill the next night.

Danny and Steve had been holding hands under the table for most of the night, hoping that Avery might not notice the extra sign of affection, but she was Steve’s offspring, so that really was a pipe dream all along. Usually they weren’t big fans of public displays of affection, but tonight Steve needed the extra reassurance that everything was going to be okay in his absence, and Danny would be there to give it to him every minute of every day until Steve’s hand wasn’t there to hold anymore and after that Danny would still be holding Steve’s hand, metaphorically, as Steve embarked on his mission.

“Sorry that love is nauseating to you,” Danny grinned across the table as Avery stuck her tongue out at him. Danny felt a little seed of hope begin to bloom inside his chest; they were going to be fine.

Dinner passed with little fanfare, Avery glaring daggers at the two adults when they so much as mentioned the possibility of telling the waiters it was her birthday so they would sing the birthday song, complete with dance, around their table as they presented her with a dessert on the house. ‘She really is a teenager,’ Danny sighed as he laughed at the war of wills going on between father and daughter over the pros and cons of the birthday song at restaurants.

Currently Avery was winning by pure stubbornness, not budging an inch regardless of Steve’s very logical argument about free dessert. Chocolate was one of Avery’s biggest weaknesses. She didn’t drink sugary drinks, ate lots of fruit and vegetables, and ate very little cholesterol-laden foods like fatty meats and egg yolks. In general she tended to eat what Steve did: egg white omelets, lean chicken, lots of vegetables and fruits, and very little carbs. The only difference between the two of them, the only evidence that maybe someone else played a role in her genetic being, was Avery’s love of chocolate. She forced Danny to stop buying anything chocolate at the store because she was unable to control her urge to eat it whenever it was around. So, yes, Steve was clearly using all of his training to figure out his opponent’s biggest weakness and exploit it. What Steve didn’t account for was the fact that his opponent was his own offspring and had also inherited his cleverness and stubbornness.

“Dad, you might as well give up because I’m not backing down and since this is my birthday dinner I win by default.”

Steve laughed and relented, hands in the air, leaning back in his chair. Danny had been watching Steve closely all night, concerned what the dinner might do to Steve’s already fragile psyche. But, it turned out that a dinner with Avery and Danny, the three of them acting like they normally did, forgetting for a few short hours the impending doom of deployment on the horizon, was exactly what Steve needed. Danny watched the tension relax out of Steve’s shoulders and the persistent aneurysm face he had been sporting since revealing to Avery his pending deployment was beginning to lessen, replaced instead by a contented look of happiness.

Dessert was brought to the table sans singing and dancing, but still free because Danny had talked to the hostess on his way to the bathroom. When he said that his daughter didn’t want the song, she smiled and said it happened all the time and went to inform their waiter.

“So what’s my birthday present,” Avery asked as she inhaled the piece of chocolate cake sitting in front of her.

“If you eat like a normal human then maybe we will give you your present,” Danny chastised as he watched Avery purposefully slow down her bites, mentally counting in her head 10 chews before making a big fanfare of swallowing, slowly, taking a sip of water after each bite.

“Dramatic much?”

“I learned it from you, Danno.”

The table shook beside him as Steve burst into a fit of laughter, Avery joining in soon after, and Danny was left on his own, no one to stand in his corner and defend him as the remainder of his family ganged up on him.

“I guess that means no birthday present for Aves. Too bad, it was going to be a good one.”

“Danno,” she whined, giving him her kicked-puppy look across the table, complete with begging hands and her cake mysteriously pushed across the table and ending up in front of him. “I meant it with love.”

“Sure you did,” Danny quipped, “I’m pretty sure it was solely for your own amusement and that of your infantile father’s and I am forced, yet again, to act like the mature adult in this family and take the high road and not rise to the bait. I will have you know that I have one hundred percent veto power on this present while your Dad’s gone.”

“What is it? What is it?” Danny watched Avery attempt to contain her excitement; she looked as if she was about to bounce out of the chair and into Danny’s lap to commandeer the present from wherever it was being hidden.

Steve laughed and took the small box they had placed the key in out of his pocket and slid it across the table to her, “Happy sixteenth birthday, Sweet Pea.”

“We love you so much, Munchkin.”

Avery grinned and snapped open the top of the jewelry box, gasping as she found the key to her first car inside, “Oh, my god! You guys got me a car! Ah!” She squealed aloud as she hastily pushed her chair back and rushed around the table, enveloping both men in her arms, “You guys are the best and coolest dads in the entire world.”

She planted a kiss on each man’s cheek and clapped her hands as she reluctantly sat back down, working doubly hard at containing her excitement. Danny couldn’t help the stupid grin that spread across his face as he saw Avery’s eyes light up like he hadn’t seen in days. A quick look towards Steve proved to Danny that he wasn’t alone in his unending joy over her excitement, equally relieved to see their little girl acting like her usual self.

Avery was grinning like the Cheshire Cat as she looked at the booklet of information about her new car that Steve had given her with the key, “I just…I can’t believe it.”

“Looks like we did our job right then,” Steve laughed, “Surprised you speechless.”

“Which is a huge feat in and of itself,” Danny added.

“Well, you would know,” Avery chided as she continued to flip through the book. Danny took the few private moments to squeeze Steve’s hand and lean over and give him a quick kiss. Again, PDA was not something they engaged in too often, but every now and then Steve would wear his goofy, lopsided grin and Danny just wouldn’t be able to help himself. And sitting at the table, their small family enjoying some time together, uninterrupted by life was a good enough reason to take advantage of the moment and show Steve how much he cares, even if it was just a brief, chaste kiss.

Danny looked into Steve’s eyes, the hard edge that had been present for over a week softening, the blue of his irises showing brighter through the gray. It was weird, Danny knew, but he had a heavily supported theory that Steve’s eyes changed colors based on his mood. They could fall anywhere on the spectrum from brilliant blue to a dull gray. They had been firmly placed in the gray category for days, but today they had improved to at least the color of the ocean at the Jersey Shore, a mixture of blue and gray, more blue than gray. “Danno loves you.”

“I love you, too.”

“It’s really no surprise Avery McGarrett doesn’t have a boyfriend; she doesn’t know how to act like a real girl because of her faggot fathers.” Danny and Steve’s quiet moment was ruined by a loud announcement at the table next to them, an announcement clearly meant for their ears.

Danny hurriedly glanced around his table and saw Avery’s eyes turn glassy as her cheeks turned bright red. Her head ducked down and she didn’t look up at him even though he was well aware that she knew he was looking at her. Danny let her be, knowing that dealing with bullies was never fun and that everyone liked to handle the situation differently; this was not the place to push her, but rather to let her sit quietly if that was what she wanted. Danny instead moved on to his quietly seething partner beside him. Steve’s eyes had lost any ounce of blue they may have built up over the past few hours, and instead had returned to the steely gray that Danny knew all too well. It meant SEAL Steve was coming out and the world better watch what they say or they may end up being dangled off a roof or thrown in a shark cage.

“Babe,” Danny warned, trying to reel in the crazy that was bubbling beneath surface of Steve’s calm expression; Danny knew better, knew Steve’s facial expressions better than anyone. Hell, he’d named most of them, and Steve was definitely wearing his “Give me an excuse, please, so I can unleash my inhuman-torture techniques on unsuspecting victims” face.

“Danno, are you seriously going to sit here and do nothing,” Steve was incredulous.

“I don’t think Avery wants us to say anything.”

“Please, Dad, don’t.” The words were quiet; Danny almost missed them, but the look of distraught that colored Avery’s face as she looked up at them for the briefest of moments spoke a story’s length about what she was feeling at the moment.

“Avery, you can’t really expect me to sit here and not say anything after such derogatory comments about not only myself and Danno but you.”

“I know that it goes against every last piece of your nature, Dad, to let things go, but I beg you, please. Please just let it go. You saying something is only going to make it worse.” She was pleading at this point, her voice coming out strained as she worked at containing the tears that were threatening to spill. Danny had to give her credit; she had her father’s strength, holding in her tears so she wouldn’t give the group of teens the satisfaction.

Danny placed his hand on Steve’s arm, “I think that we can respect that, right Steve?”

Danny gave Steve his ‘glare of death,’ willing him with the sheer magnitude of his stare to back the fuck down before they push Avery even farther into herself.

Danny didn’t relent until Steve’s shoulders slumped and his ramrod-straight posture hunched a little, “Fine, but we’re leaving because I can’t sit here next to them and not do anything.”

“Sounds good to me, what do you think, Aves?”

“Let’s go.”

Danny threw cash on the table and the three of them walked out of the restaurant. Danny chanced a quick look behind them and saw all of the teens laughing silently as they watched them walk away. Danny sighed as Avery shrugged Steve’s hand off her shoulder and walked a few paces ahead. Their night was officially ruined, the sense of foreboding that had been their housemate for days firmly descending back upon them, holding them in its claws much harder this time, determined to make them work for their happiness.

And this time Danny wasn’t ready to put up a fight, not when his husband had retreated so far into himself Danny wasn’t quite sure if Steve was even registering Danny’s presence at his side. He also realized his daughter had kept hidden from them the magnitude the teasing had amounted to over the two years since she’d started high school.

No, Danny wasn’t prepared to be the only one fighting the fear that had latched on to every member of his family, but he had to do it, if only to keep his family together, giving them a fighting chance of making it out on the other side intact.

And nothing in the world meant more to Danny than his family.

*H50*  
Neither Avery nor Steve had spoken much over the few days after the debacle in the restaurant. Danny felt like he was tiptoeing around a mausoleum, ghosts of his family members the only remnants present. And Danny was not used to quiet or having to be quiet, but he was at a loss for how to proceed forward past this obstacle they’d found placed in front of them.

Usually, Danny wouldn’t walk on eggshells or give anyone, especially Steve, personal space to deal with whatever was going on. He would be in their face, all brash and Jersey-loud. He wouldn’t give them time to ruminate on the thoughts inside their head. Danny might not know a lot of things, but he did know his family. And he knew the tendency of anyone possessing McGarrett genes to retreat into their minds and stay there, hiding from the feelings, pushing away the world, which was usually never very helpful, and was usually not welcome in Danny-world. In Danny-world you opened up and you let everything flow out, the good and the bad, no judgment. He made you feel comfortable, let you know that you don’t have to apologize for your feelings or justify them.

But right now Danny just didn’t know how to proceed. His usual method was messy; he’s willing to admit that. There had been plenty of casualties along the road (mostly ruined clothes and broken dishes), but the outcome, in Danny’s opinion, justified the means. Except now Danny had a very loud, very annoying, ticking clock, reminding him that he had only five short days left to figure out a way to get Steve into the right frame of mind to tackle his mission. If Danny had learned anything during his ten year relationship with Steve it was that a distracted sailor was a dead sailor, and Danny was not going to have that happen on his watch.

Danny was sipping his coffee, contemplating his next move, when he heard a bedroom door slam against a wall. Choking on the burning liquid from the shock, he placed the mug on the counter and moved towards the staircase when he heard the familiar tones of his two daughters, flowing down towards him at decibel levels he was not ready to handle at such an early hour.

“Get out of my room,” Grace yelled.

“Stop taking my fucking stuff and I won’t have to go in your room.”

“I didn’t take anything.”

“If you didn’t take anything then why is my striped shirt hanging over your chair?”

“That’s my shirt.”

“No, it’s not. It’s mine.”

Danny heard the tell-tale ripping sound of clothes headed for the trash can. He sighed, counting to five before beginning to ascend the stairs, ready to put a stop to the fight that was quickly devolving into five-year old tantrum territory.

“Look, just because you live in a mansion and have a step-father who doesn’t want to get to know you so he gives you whatever you want does not give you the right to ruin my stuff, nor does it mean that everything belongs to you.”

“Whoa, jealous much?”

“I’m so far from jealous of you, Grace; I can’t even see jealousy from where I’m standing.”

“Well, from where I’m standing it sure looks like you’re jealous that I have nice things and you don’t.”

“I have plenty of nice things; I’m just not a spoiled rich brat who has everything.”

“I’m not spoiled.”

“Have you looked at your life recently because you most definitely are.”

“Well, why do you care?”

“Because I drew the short straw and got stuck being your step-sister and therefore have to put up with your bitchy attitude every other weekend, that’s why.”

“Well it’s not all unicorns and rainbows for me either when I’m here.”

“Well at least we agree on something. Too bad it’s not on your taste in friends.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I know exactly who those boys were at the restaurant the other night. I know that one of those boys is Jeffrey Davis, the guy you’ve been trying to get with since the beginning of the semester. I can’t wait to see you get him past Danno and Dad after everything he said.”

Danny paled, not ready in the least bit to deal with boys within fifty feet of Grace. He quickened his pace and made it to the landing in record time, especially given his bum knee and the early hour.

“Just get out of my room.”

“Gladly.”

Danny had finally made it to the door and peered inside, seeing Grace’s eyes widen to the size of saucers as Avery smirked and swaggered to her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Danny arched an eyebrow at Grace, sitting on top of her bed, covers thrown haphazardly to the floor, clearly shoved aside quickly to pull the striped shirt from Avery’s hands.

“Avery’s lying,” Grace whispered, averting her eyes, playing with a loose string on her pajama bottoms.

“I know that she didn’t lie because you only fidget when you lie. So, start explaining, now.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Clearly,” Danny gestured to the ruined shirt that lay in heap on Grace’s floor.

“I may have known the kids from the restaurant.”

“You mean the kids who used a horrible term to describe myself and Steve and also made terrible jokes about your sister?”

Grace nodded.

“You maybe know them?”

“They really aren’t as bad as they seem.”

“Really, because I thought they were just swell.”

“Avery just brings it upon herself.”

“Being made of fun?”

“She asks for it, wearing the clothes she does, not caring about her appearance, flaunting her brains.”

“She flaunts? That doesn’t really sound like Avery.”

“She flaunts.” Danny was skeptical, but he truly didn’t know what Avery was like at school since he would lose major dad points if he ever went to Grace and Avery’s school to observe them in their classes, and Danny liked his dad points, thank you very much.

“Look, Dad, Avery’s just being sensitive. The guys just like to joke around. I am sorry that they used that mean word, but the other stuff they didn’t really mean.”

“I don’t think your sister took it that way.”

“Well, she just needs to get a sense of humor.”

“A sense of humor about her family?”

“Well, if she’d stop stealing my family then maybe she’d have one she could laugh with,” Grace whispered as she flopped back down on the bed, “I’m going back to sleep, can you please close the door, Danno.”

Danny nodded, knowing that the conversation was over and forcing it was only going to push Grace farther away.

*H50*

Grace slammed the door of the Camaro behind her as she walked towards the front door, “Bye, Danno, see you next week.”

She didn’t stop to give him a kiss or a hug like she normally did, refusing to make eye contact with him like she’d been doing all weekend.

Danny sighed as he watched Rachel walk down the steps, glowering at him. Danny was in serious trouble.

“Daniel.”

“Yes, Rachel?” Here goes nothing.

“I wanted to speak with you about something.”

“And that would be?”

“Your extremely poor decision making, for one, and the way you’ve been treating our daughter, for two.”

“Care to elaborate before I get really angry?”

“Grace is your daughter, Danny. And no matter what I say about you and the Commander, he is also Grace’s pseudo-stepfather…” Danny decided that rising to that bait was not going to be helpful in this situation, but that didn’t mean it didn’t make him angry.

“Rachel, where are you going with this?”

“Grace is part of your family and should not have learned from her friends that you and Steve took Avery out for her birthday, without her.”

Danny felt the color drain from his face, his breath hitching in his chest, realizing just how bad that decision must have looked to Grace. Excluding her wasn’t intentional on his and Steve’s part, but they had and that certainly didn’t make Grace feel good.

Danny pondered the enormity of the poor parenting decision he had made throughout the entirety of Rachel’s ‘you’re acting like a terrible father who doesn’t love his biological daughter’ speech.

Yes, Danny wasn’t listening too hard to what she was saying because, contrary to popular belief, he was not the biggest exaggerator in their marriage. Danny knew after the first few lines Rachel spewed at him that he had made a colossal mess of the whole situation, adding even more animosity onto the already growing pile of disdain growing between Avery and Grace. He didn’t need to listen to an hour-long lecture of the importance of making each child feel equally loved, and her continual innuendos about Danny loving Avery more, which was completely off base, regardless of his most recent actions.

Basically, Danny felt like shit, and he knew that he had fucked up. Well, he and Steve had fucked up because Danny was not shouldering all of the blame for this parenting blunder. No sir, Danny followed along behind Steve’s directive in wanting to celebrate Avery’s birthday without Grace at first. In all honesty, Steve had made some good points during that discussion, but they both should have taken a step back and thought about what was best for both girls and their fragile relationship. Clearly Steve’s penchant for jumping into situations half-cocked had seeped into their personal life and had bitten them in the ass.

Danny wishes this was the first time it had happened, but it wasn’t.

Usually Danny and Steve made great parenting decisions, in his very humbly biased opinion, of course. They always made important decisions in tandem, drawing on the skills, strengths, and perspectives that each of them brought to the table, coming up with the best way to handle whatever situation the girls managed to throw at them. And a look back over the ten or so years of the McGarrett-Williams family craziness would make it quite impossible for anyone to question the genetic-relatedness of the two girls and their fathers, making for some very unique and interesting problems throughout the years.

But Danny digresses. In general, Danny and Steve make a good team, a loud, snarky, stubborn team, but a very productive, solid team nonetheless. And at this moment Danny felt the solid foundation they had built their lives on falter a little under the harsh words Rachel was raining down on him.

“Rachel,” Danny put his hand up to stop her mid-sentence, “I completely understand your point, and I do admit to handling this whole situation poorly. At this moment I do not need a 90-minute lecture on the intricacies of why my decision was a bad one. I’m a damn good detective and a damn good father; I am plenty capable of figuring out where exactly I went wrong and go about figuring out a way to fix it.”

“You better, Daniel, or I may need to make a phone call or two to the lawyers I have on retainer.”

“Just waiting for me to screw up, huh?”

“Just waiting for you to realize that neither you, nor your lifestyle, is a healthy environment in which Grace should be raised.”

“If anybody provides Grace with a toxic environment it’s you, Rachel.” Danny did not want to get into this right now. The last thing he wanted was to go ten more rounds with Rachel in the driveway, standing in front of the posh house he was never able to give her. All he wanted was to go home to Steve and figure out a way to fix the massive clusterfuck their lives had morphed into.

“If you think a stable, two-parent household is a toxic environment for Grace then I definitely need to rethink your ability to father Grace.”

“Your relationship with Stan is anything but stable and you know it. You have spent the last ten years griping to me about my relationship with Steve being unhealthy and unnatural when Steve and I barely fight, can spend almost all of our free time together and be perfectly content, and we love each other unconditionally, along with our two girls. Last time I checked, that constitutes a stable two-parent household. Fighting every night, jetting away on last minute business trips, and only caring enough to give Grace whatever expensive thing she may desire does not exemplify stable parenting or a stable relationship. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go home to my husband and figure out a way to fix the mistake we made because that’s what mature adults do, Rachel, they admit their mistakes.”

And Danny didn’t bother to look behind him as he slammed the door to the Camaro and peeled out of the driveway fast enough to leave tire treads behind.

“Serve’s her right for acting so fucking superior,” Danny yelled aloud to no one, the resultant silence of the empty car deafening, reminding Danny, once again, of the big Steve-shaped hole that was going to be a constant in his life in just a few short days.

And if Danny broke a few hundred traffic laws to get home to the bed that Steve would already be sitting in, just so he could cuddle up next to Steve’s strong body and hold on, reminding him that he still had a few days before he was alone, well, he’s not going to tell anyone.


	7. The Strength I Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Hope the wait for this chapter wasn't too bad :) Plus, this chapter is the longest of the bunch so far so hoepfully that makes up for the slightly longer wait! This chapter is a really important one and so I wanted to do it justice, hence the longer wait! Please, please let me know what you think :) I also hope that this chapter begins to answer some questions about Grace and give a little insight into what's going on!
> 
> Thanks always to my beta jerseybelle. She gave me wonderful feedback to this chapter that I think helped make this a whole lot better! Please read, review, and enjoy :)

*Steve's POV*

Steve heard the tell-tale sounds of the Camaro’s engine being shut off long before he heard Danny’s familiar footsteps on the front porch. Knowing this meant that Danny had been sitting in his car for more time than was absolutely necessary was a sign that the drop off at Rachel’s hadn’t gone very well, Steve made quick work of putting a few malasadas on a plate, poured Danny’s favorite coffee into a mug, and placed them on the kitchen island in plain view of the front door.

Steve heard Danny make an appreciative grunt as he made his way towards the kitchen, “You are not sneaky at all, did you know that McGarrett?”

Danny leaned forward and stole a quick kiss before popping a malasada into his mouth. Steve laughed and pulled him in for a second kiss, licking the powdered sugar off his lips, “I wasn’t trying to be sneaky, Danno.”

Steve watched Danny gulp down half the mug of coffee and scarf down the rest of the malasadas before taking a breath.

“Are you going to tell me what happened at Rachel’s?”

“We fucked up, babe.”

“We did?”

Danny nodded, “We really hurt Grace’s feelings by not inviting her to Avery’s birthday party.”

Steve listened to Danny explain the hateful words Rachel spewed at him, watched Danny’s faith in his fathering abilities falter before his very eyes.

“Hey, Danno,” he interrupted, “You’re right. That was a dumb move on our part, but it was just a mistake. We’ve made them before when it comes to the girls and we’re bound to make them again. Don’t kick yourself over this.”

“How could I not after everything we’ve been through these past few months with the girls. Grace comes up with every possible excuse in the book to come over here as little as possible, when they are together they bitch at each other, make underhanded comments, and now their friends are outwardly mocking each other. Our family is falling apart and my decision forced it to fall even further apart.”

“First off, it was our decision to go to dinner, just the three of us, for Avery’s birthday. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but I agree with you, in hindsight we pushed them farther apart, appearing as if we are okay with this rift and that we are taking sides. We are not, under any circumstances, taking sides. We have the right to make mistakes; we are not perfect. What matters is that we are going to sit down, together, and figure out a way to apologize to Grace and begin to make this right, let her know she’s just as important to us as Avery.”

Danny nodded mutely. Steve sighed, knowing a silent Danny was never a good Danny.

Danny finished off his coffee and announced he was going for a run.

“Wait up and I’ll go with you,” Steve offered.

“No, Super SEAL, I think I need the time to think.”

“Just promise you won’t go too far with your knee and all.”

“I promise,” Danny kissed Steve. “If I’m not back in thirty minutes you have my permission to send out the cavalry.”

“I’m holding you to that, Danno.”

“I would be surprised if you didn’t.”

Steve was reluctant to let Danny go, hard pressed to find a good reason to let Danny wallow in lonely oblivion, but Steve also knew the calming, grounding effect pounding the pavement and pushing your body to its limit can have on a person’s psyche. So he let Danny go, holding him to his thirty minute promise, not a minute more.

*H50*  
Danny came back twenty-nine minutes later, spent but appearing much calmer than when he left, no longer strung up like a tight coil.

“Feeling better?” Steve probed once Danny emerged from the shower, tossing him a clean pair of shorts and a shirt.

“Loads.”

“Good, now we can talk about how to apologize to Grace.”

“I thought a lot about that on my run. I would like to call her tonight, the two of us, and apologize. And then I want to invite her to Avery’s real birthday party, with her ohana, tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow night’s my last night, Danno.”

“I’m very much aware of that, Super SEAL, which is why a barbeque with our ohana is exactly what’s needed. I talked to Chin and Kono about it a week ago, and they’re on board and fully prepared to leave earlier than normal so the four of us have time together.”

“Do you think Grace will be okay with this?”

“Grace was unfortunately blessed with the Williams’ temper. We may be known to blow a gasket rather quickly from time to time.”

“From time to time?”

“Okay, often, but Grace also has the wonderful Williams ability to calm down and listen to those people who’ve upset her. She’s a very rational individual who will hear us out.”

“Are you claiming to be rational?”

“I said Grace was rational.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Wipe that grin off your face, Steven, and get the phone.”

Steve pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Grace’s number, putting the call on speaker.

Grace picked up after a few rings, “Hi Steve, what’s up?”

“Um, hey, Grace Face, it’s your Dad and me. We wanted to talk to you about the other night.”

“I’m listening.”

Danny took a deep breath and started, “We are so sorry, Gracie. We never, ever meant to hurt you or make you feel less important to us. You are our world, sweetie, no more or less than Avery is. Steve and I realize how wrong we were, not to invite you.”

“That’s right, Grace,” Steve interrupted, “We didn’t think about how our actions would appear to you, and we are so sorry for that.”

“I appreciate you admitting that you were wrong,” Grace said with little emotion.

“Gracie, please understand how sorry we are.”

“Danno, I know how sorry you are. And I’m well aware that you guys realize you made a mistake, and I appreciate that you guys are calling me to tell me that. But you can’t expect me to get over it in just a few minutes.”

Steve watched Danny’s shoulders slump. He felt the same way, wishing Grace was six years old again and didn’t need the time to forgive her fathers because there wasn’t much wrong they could do. But Grace was no longer six years old and it would take time for her to forgive them and begin to trust their word again.

They had really fucked this one up.

“Okay, monkey,” Danny sighed, “We just wanted to make sure that you knew we are always here for you and that everything that’s happened doesn’t change that. And we hope that you will be able to forgive us and start to trust us again.”

“Danno, Steve, I will always trust you. I’m just really hurt right now, give me some time and I’ll feel better.”

“Do you think you’ll feel better enough to go to a barbeque tomorrow night? It’s the real party for Avery’s birthday and a going away party for Steve. It’ll be really low-key, just ohana.”

“I would really like that.” Steve could hear the smile in her voice.

“We love you, Gracie.”

“I love you too, Dads.”

They hung up the phone and Steve couldn’t help the grin plastered on his face.

“What are you grinning at?”

“She called me Dad that means she’s close to forgiveness, she only saves that for special occasions.”

“Let’s hope you’re right, Steve, let’s hope you’re right.”

*H50*  
The party started earlier than normal and hit its peak just as the first vestiges of dusk began to appear on the horizon. Steve snuck out as the sun began to set behind the ocean; he needed some time away from the loud noise and boisterous party that was going on around him. He took a seat on the porch swing he and Danny had built a few months after they moved in together. It was a little worse for the wear, desperately needed a good sanding and coat of paint. But Danny and Steve didn’t have the heart to mess with it; they didn’t want to get rid of the initials Avery and Grace had drawn onto the wood when they were nine, proclaiming to the world that they were best friends forever.

Steve sighed as he ran his fingers across the letters and the date from all those years ago. He thought back over the time that had passed since their proclamation and found himself disappointed that the girls’ relationship had splintered as of late. Steve wracked his brain for signs of their deteriorating relationship before the whole thing had come to a head and blown up in their faces; he couldn’t think of much. Up until the first comment Avery made two months ago, a slight almost innocent comment about Grace not having time to hang out anymore, Steve couldn’t think of a single moment that the girls weren’t attached at the hip. Since they were five, Grace and Avery had been partners in crime, giving their parents a run for their money every day. Danny and Steve had been thankful, so thankful, that the girls never had the typical step-sister relationship; their relationship was always much more like full-blooded sisters, close most of the time but getting on each other’s nerves every now and then. Steve wasn’t naïve enough to think that there wouldn’t be a change in the relationship over time as both girls found separate interests and began to make their own friends, but he did not expect a complete one-eighty and have them barely talking to each other in a decibel level lower than a yell.

Danny might go on and on about how he is very insightful and a great detective, but Steve was not too shabby himself, and since Steve tended to spend more time observing and less time talking, he was able to pick up on a few clues Grace gave them as to where her mind was in all of this.

Steve had his suspicions, he just hadn’t been able to confirm them, and now he was out of time.

“I thought I saw you come out here.”

Steve’s head snapped up and looked towards the front door where Grace was standing, holding a bottle of water in one hand and two brownies in the other.

“Hey, Grace Face, are you enjoying the party?” Grace sat down next to him on the swing, pulling her legs up underneath her and curling into his side.

“I love when we get together with our ohana, but I wish the circumstances were different.”

Steve wrapped his arms around her, pulling her as close to him as possible, “I feel the same way, Gracie.”

“Here,” she held out one brownie for him to take, “I know you aren’t big on junk food, but you won’t be able to eat something as delicious and home-cooked as this where you’re going so I think tonight you should make an exception.”

“Well, who can argue with logic like that,” Steve laughed as he took a bite of the brownie. They sat in silence, chewing on their treat and enjoying the moment, together.

“Gracie,” Steve started, “I’m really sorry about how Danno and I have handled things recently, especially with Avery’s birthday dinner; we were wrong and I wish I was going to be here longer so that I could make it up to you.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s really not; you are part of this family and we never, ever want to change that,” Steve looked down at Grace who was picking flecks of paint off the old porch swing, “You are my daughter, Gracie, and I made a mistake, as your father, when I suggested that we just have dinner with Avery. I truly am sorry.”

“Steve, it’s really okay. Danno already talked to me about it, again, and we’re good. I know that life hasn’t been easy around here recently, with your deployment and all, and Avery and I aren’t making things any easier. I was just upset because I want to be a part of this family so bad.”

Steve watched tears well in Grace’s eyes, but the teen pushed them back, swallowed another piece of brownie, and continued to watch cars drive by on the road in front of them. Steve saw the look of vulnerability in her face, a look that said loud and clear that she hadn’t meant to let slip out the things she had said.

“You know, Grace, anything you say to me will stay between us.”

“I know. You’ve always been really good about that,” Grace glanced up at her second father and smiled, “I think it’s the SEAL training. Avery and I used to joke about it all the time how we should only tell you our secrets because you were trained to never break under torture…even Danno torture.”

Steve laughed, “That’s true. If there is one thing my training was good for it was learning how to withstand Danno torture, though I think he’s softened me over the years.”

“I think that means it’s time for some remedial training, huh Steve.”

Steve didn’t respond; instead, he looked at Grace with a face that said ‘I may need some remedial training in withstanding Danno torture but I sure as hell know a carefully placed topic change when I see one.’

Grace sighed and leaned in a bit closer to Steve’s side, her head resting on his chest so she wouldn’t have to look him in the eye, “I don’t really like living at home.”

It was quiet, Steve almost missed it. But when Grace peeked up at him through the hair that had fallen across her eyes he saw the pain and hurt that was masked behind her anger. Steve rubbed her back, and waited for her to continue, knowing that she was Danny’s daughter after all, and talking was a Williams specialty.

“Mom and Step-Stan fight all the time; it’s exhausting. But they don’t see it, and they don’t see how it hurts me or affects me. I hate the club and all the kids that go there; I was teased for months every time we went that I wasn’t a real society girl, like I’d ever want to be one anyway. I told Mom hundreds of times that I’d much rather spend my weekends here with you guys and Avery, but she said I needed the experience of acting like a lady and that the kids there would be important friends to make. I tried to tell her that they mocked me and teased me, but she didn’t believe me. I know that Mom’s just nervous that she’s losing me. She’s not stupid; she may pretend that her marriage with Stan is perfect and we are this wonderful, happy family, but she’s very aware that I only have a happy family when I’m here, with you guys.”

“Why didn’t you come and talk to us?”

“Because I didn’t want to burden you, put that extra pressure on you. I know that Mom and Stan have really expensive lawyers and I know how hard it was for Danno the last time he had to suffer through a custody battle and legal problems with Mom. I didn’t want my inability to handle my living situation to be the reason he had to go through that again.”

“Grace, you mean everything to Danno, everything. He would go to the end of the world and back to see you happy, and so would I.”

“I actually had a plan to tell him, but then he came over and said that you were leaving and I just couldn’t put the added pressure on him. I can’t, Steve, I can’t do that to him. He has to be there for you and for Avery; I’ve already caused so much pain.”

“Grace, don’t. Don’t blame yourself or think that you will hurt Danno by telling him the truth, and don’t, for a second, think that Danno won’t be there for you too. I know that you are a very smart girl Grace, and I know that you are very aware that you are hurting Danno more by lying to him.”

“I can’t take back what I’ve already done, no matter how much I wish I could.”

And she goes silent, taking another sip of her water and staring at the road in front of her. Steve takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He’s not sure how to handle this situation. He knew that there was something going on in the Edwards house to make Grace act the way she was; he could see how unhappy she was and had been for quite awhile. But he had promised her, promised that he would keep their conversation between the two of them, and throughout their entire relationship Steve has never broken a promise to Grace unless he absolutely had no other choice.

But Steve knew how hard Danny was taking the rift between Grace and Avery, the bruised ego he suffered at the hand of Rachel’s ire. He was second-guessing his ability to be a good father, second-guessing every decision, every thought he had. This knowledge, the knowledge that Grace wanted nothing more than to be a family with them, with Steve and Danny and Avery would allay the fears and worries that had been building up inside Danny. Steve felt it necessary to get rid of those fears before he left and added even more onto the pile.

Danny was the strongest man that Steve had ever met. He moved across the country, 5,000 miles away from his family so he could be a father every other weekend to his little girl. He put his life on the line every day to keep this island safe for his daughter, for all of the daughters out there. And he took a leap of faith and jumped into a relationship with a single father, reserve-Navy SEAL who had serious family issues. Danny had been his rock through every bad thing that had transpired over the years. Danny had been by his side and fought with him through the tears and the hurt as he came to terms with his parents’ deaths, and he played a large role in mending the relationship between him and Mary.

Danny took on not only Steve and his emotional baggage but the extra responsibility of being a father to his little girl. Danny loved him more than anything and was willing to love Avery like his own, and hadn’t stopped treating her like his daughter since long before they ever admitted their feelings for one another.

Steve wanted, for once, to be the rock that Danny needed. Family was the most important thing in Danny’s life, and right now their family was splintering beneath them and Steve wanted to be the one to come to Danny with nails and a hammer to help him put it back together again.

But, as he looked down at the sad, hurting teen in his arms, Steve knew he couldn’t abuse her trust. He had promised that whatever she revealed would stay between the two of them. What he could do was promise to stand by her and even though he was far away, he would try and be an ear to listen whenever he had the chance to stop by a phone. He would encourage her to open up to Danno and to tell him the truth, and then when he got back he would be there for both of them, help them mend their struggling relationship.

“Everything can be fixed,” he said as he pulled her out of her reverie.

“I made my bed, now I must lie in it. I couldn’t handle the teasing and the mocking so I threw Avery under the bus. I told those kids about how sad it was that Avery didn’t have a Mom, how her Mom didn’t want her. I know it was wrong of me, Steve, and Avery’s my best friend, my sister, but I couldn’t handle the teasing anymore. And now, now I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to get them to stop teasing her. Avery won’t even talk to me, and frankly I don’t blame her. She looks at me the way she looks at all of them, fake and spoiled and too in love with money to care. I ruined our friendship, and the truth is I’m jealous of her. I always have been. Her life is perfect: she has the perfect family, two parents that love her, a house by the beach, friends that actually care about her, she does well in school, and she’s found a passion for something she’s good at. More than anything I wish I could wake up every day in a happy family that loves me for me, a family that doesn’t try and change me into someone that I’m not.”

“Grace, Avery’s life isn’t perfect, far from it; no one’s life is perfect. She misses you; she misses your friendship. I know that if you just explain to her what you are feeling and show her how sorry you are, she’ll forgive you. And, just so you know, you have a happy family that loves you, all you have to do is say the word and you can have it every day.”

“Steve, you and I both know that that is never going to happen.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Mom will never give up full custody of me to you and Danno, she will never let me live here full time, and Avery is never going to forgive me.”

“You underestimate the lengths that Danno and I would go to make you happy.”

“I also know that Mom and Stan’s expensive lawyer will spend the whole time bringing up the sensitive nature of your relationship, the fact that you guys aren’t actually ‘married,’ that you already have a daughter that Mom claims you love more than me, even though that’s not even close to true, and when all of that fails the lawyer will bring up your and Danno’s job in Five-0 and then he will bring up your job with the SEALs and how you could be called away at a moment’s notice and then Danno would be a single father, which the lawyer will argue, is way worse than being raised by my mother and her new husband.”

“Gracie, you need to tell Danno all of this.”

“Steve, you promised that you wouldn’t say anything.”

“And I’m not going to, but I really do think that you need to share these feelings with Danno and you need to apologize to Avery. I won’t break your trust, Grace Face, but every time you hear from me while I’m gone I will be encouraging you to tell them until you do.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything different,” Grace laughed as they both stood up and stretched out their long limbs.

“I think it’s time to get back to the party before Danno comes looking for us.”

Grace laughed and launched herself at Steve, enveloping him in a tight hug, “Come back to us, Dad. This family won’t be the same without you.”

Steve felt the tears prick at his eyes. Grace didn’t call him Dad very often, but every time she did his heart skipped a beat and his eyes welled, knowing that he held such a special place in her heart, “I will do everything in my power to come home, Grace Face.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

And they pulled apart and walked back into the party, the air a little lighter between the two of them, both knowing that Grace took the first step towards getting the family she wanted and deserved.

*H50*  
The party died down about an hour later, the team gracefully saying goodbye, leaving the family to spend Steve’s last few hours together.

Danny finally closed the front door after Kamekona’s big frame clapped Steve on the back and told him to be safe and to come home soon because no one was going to be able to handle his haole for too long without him.

Steve laughed and Danny grimaced, but Steve said he’d be back as soon as he can, that he didn’t have the heart to sic Danny on his ohana for too long without supervision.

The girls laughed in the background as they rifled through the stack of movies; they were going to have one final movie night, as a family, before Steve shipped out in the morning.

After throwing the last DVD on the ground, Avery sat back on her heels, exasperated, “There isn’t anything good to watch.”

Grace nodded in agreement. Steve smiled at the sight of the two girls huddle next to each other in front of the TV, searching through the movies sitting on the shelf below. It seems that an unspoken truce had been made, and for Steve’s last night they acted like the family he knew they were and knew they would be once more, as soon as Grace was ready to admit her feelings and her fears.

Steve knew better than to push; you don’t push a Williams and get away with it. So he resigned himself to knowing that when it really came down to it, his girls would be there for Danny and they would always be a family, even as this rough patch stretched out in front of them.

Feeling a little more at ease, Steve suggested they all watch the Yankees game he had taped the night before.

Both girls whooped in agreement and settled themselves on the couch, taking up way more space than was absolutely necessary.

“Do we have popcorn,” Avery asked as she toggled through the DVR list.

“Do we have popcorn,” Danny scoffed, “Who are you talking to, little lady, of course we have popcorn.”

“Of course, what was I thinking?”

Everyone laughed as Danny walked into the kitchen to start the popcorn. Steve looked over once more at the two girls sitting on the couch, already yelling at the umpire for a bad call.

He followed his husband into the kitchen and found him staring blankly at the rotating popcorn bag in the microwave.

“Hey, what’s on your mind,” Steve asked as he wrapped his arms around Danny from behind, resting his chin on the top of Danny’s head.

“Nothing, just worried about everything.”

“I’m going to come home.”

“No, don’t promise that. You know you can’t make that promise, and you, Steven J. McGarrett never make promises you can’t keep.”

Steve laughed; Danny had a point. “Okay, I promise to do everything in my power to come home to you and to our family.”

“I know you will.”

They stood like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, for a minute more before the foreboding silence was interrupted by the beep of the microwave and Grace’s head poking around the doorway, “When you guys are done canoodling, could you put extra butter on the popcorn?”

“Canoodling, what the hell is canoodling,” Danny asked as he took the bag out of the microwave and Steve moved towards the fridge to pull out the butter.

“I’m sure that’s a question you don’t want to know the answer to, Danno.”

“I’m sure you’re right about that, especially since it came from my innocent little girl’s mouth, better to be ignorant and in bliss.”

Steve kissed him squarely on the mouth. “Love you, Danno.”

“Love you to, you big oaf,” Danny said as he pushed Steve away, playfully swatting him on the ass, “Now let’s get in there and watch the Yankees dominate.”

“How do you know they’re going to dominate?” The two men placed the popcorn on the coffee table and pushed their way in between the two girls already seated on the couch, enraptured by the game.

“I may or may not have read the box scores this morning.”

A loud chorus of, “DANNO” rang through the room as all of the Williams-McGarrett family members groaned.

“What,” Danny defended, “Did you really expect me to wait until tonight to see if the Yankees beat the Red Sox?”

They all laughed as Danny pulled Grace against his side, Steve pulled Avery against his, and the two men grabbed each other’s hand on the back of the couch.

They smiled at each other, knowing that this was the memory they would hold onto, the memory that would get them through the grueling months ahead.

The memory of their family, the memory of the life they’ve built together.

They life they will fight for, no matter what.

*H50*  
It turned out that Danny had fibbed a little about the Yankees domination. They had won, but it took six extra innings before the 2-2 tie had been broken. Both girls had fallen asleep long before the game had ended, and Steve and Danny hadn’t the heart to move them. But, now it was really time for everyone to move upstairs and get some rest.

And call Steve selfish, but he planned on spending his last night in Hawaii spooned up against his husband, trying to memorize the exact feel of his hard, muscular body wrapped in his arms, the feel of his bed-head hair tickling his face in the morning, and the familiar taste of Danny’s mouth when he kissed him goodnight.

Gently rubbing a hand down Avery’s back, Steve whispered in her ear, “Hey, sweet pea, time to go upstairs to bed.”

Avery rubbed her eyes and moved off the couch towards the stairs. Steve followed after her, glancing back at Danny coaxing a sleepy Grace towards the stairs as well.

Avery climbed right in bed, not even bothering to change into her pajamas. Steve sat down on the edge of her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, just like he used to when she was a little girl, “I love you, Sweet Pea, always and forever.”

Avery latched onto his frame, pulling him down towards her, “Please, Dad, don’t go.”

The pleading tone in her voice made his heart break, “Sweetie, you know I have to, but I will be thinking about you every day, without fail. I love you, Avery Lynne.”

She sobbed into his shoulder, the wall of strength she had been building up over the past two weeks breaking right in front of him. He whispered soothing words in her ear and rubbed her back, “It’s going to be okay, Aves. Danno will be here and everything will be okay.”

“You have to come back, Dad.”

“You know I will stop at nothing to get back to you.”

She nodded, pulled away, and wiped the tears that had fallen.

He brushed his fingertips across her cheeks and looked her straight in the eye, “I will fight tooth and nail every day to come back to you. Love you.”

“Always, always, Daddy.”

“Always, always my princess.” He kissed the top of her head and moved towards the door where he found Danny leaning against the doorjamb, watching the scene between father and daughter.

They moved out of the room and closed the door before Danny spoke, “I will hold down the fort, sailor, I promise.”

“I know you will, Danny,” Steve moved towards his husband, pulling him flush against him, “I would never leave if I thought that Avery and Grace weren’t going to be taken care of. You give me the strength to continue this fight Danny, without you I’m not sure I could handle it.”

“That’s my job,” Danny smiled as he began to pull Steve towards their bedroom.

Steve put his hand up to stop him, gesturing towards Grace’s bedroom down the hall, “I’m just going to say goodnight to Grace.”

Danny nodded, “Hurry back, sailor, I need to give you your proper goodbye.”

Steve grinned and walked towards Grace’s bedroom with a little more spring in his step than was absolutely necessary. He pushed the door open slowly, making sure he wasn’t disturbing her. “Gracie?”

She shifted a little under the covers, her head poking out from its cocoon. “Yeah?”

Steve sat next to her and brushed a piece of fly-away hair, something she inherited from her father, out of her eyes, “I just came to say good night.”

Grace smiled and threw her arms around his neck. “Good night, I love you.”

“I love you, too, Grace Face.” They sat like that for a minute more, holding on to the reassurance that they were here, together.

Grace pulled away first, tears staining her cheeks, “Don’t cry for me, Grace,” he said, “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Don’t make those promises, Dad.”

Steve laughed, already forgetting Danny’s earlier warnings, “I will fight every day to make it back here.”

“I know you will.”

“Forever and ever, Grace Face.”

“Forever and ever.”

Steve gave her one last squeeze before getting up and walking back towards his own bedroom and his waiting husband.

Danny was sitting up in bed, bottom half covered by the sheets, wearing a t-shirt that said ‘Support Our SEALs.’

“You know,” Steve started as he pulled off his pants and shirt and climbed into bed, “As much as I appreciate the support, I would much prefer you wearing nothing.”

“Is that so, Commander?”

“Mhm,” and Steve pulled Danny to him, whipping the shirt over his head in one swift movement.

“Show off,” Danny moaned into Steve’s hair as he left a trail of kisses down Danny’s neck and across his collar bone.

It started slow. Their hands moved up and down each other, tracing every wrinkle, every scar, every freckle.

At first, no words were spoken.

They laid in bed, beside each other, holding onto the feeling of their partner. Knowing that tomorrow their beds would be empty, tomorrow this feeling would be nothing more than a memory, tomorrow this moment would be all they’d have left.

Danny’s hands stopped Steve’s as they reached lower onto Danny’s body, “This is our last night, let’s take it slow.”

And Steve acquiesced to the request, his hands stalling at Danny’s lower back, not moving any lower before Danny took the plunge first. And Steve laid next to his husband, giving Danny the reins tonight, letting him set the pace, letting him do what he needed to build up the strength for the fight ahead.

Danny’s lips started at the sensitive spot behind Steve’s ear, sucking slowly down the tight tendons of Steve’s neck. Steve’s body would tense when Danny’s tongue brushed over an overly-sensitive spot, making Danny moan against his skin. Danny’s hands were gripping at Steve’s biceps, his nails digging in as he held on as if his life depended on it.

‘And,’ Steve thought, ‘It probably did.’ Danny was touchy-feely. Always had been. Danny needed reassurance, needed to feel Steve’s beating heart, taste the salt water that seemed ever-present on Steve’s skin.

Danny was tactile. Danny needed to memorize the hard lines of Steve’s body, memorize the sounds that escaped Steve’s lips when Danny’s hands gripped at a particularly sensitive area of his body.

Usually this pace didn’t work for Steve; he tended to enjoy love-making the way he enjoyed the remainder of his life: fast, hard, and full-throttle.

But, tonight, his last night in Hawaii for god only knew how long, he was okay with taking it slow, feeling the need in Danny’s touch, the anxiety in his kiss.

Danny’s voice came out in a whimper, “Make love to me, Steve.”

The urgency in the plea, the sheer desperation in his eyes as he rolled onto his back, pulling Steve with him, stopped Steve in his tracks. He felt it too. He felt the fear and the terror. The worry that it may never be quite like this again. The fear of the unknown gripping at them, knowing that there wasn’t anything they could change, nothing they could do differently. All they had was their last night together.

And when Steve entered Danny, their two bodies becoming one, he felt the love, the desire, the need they had for each other. And tonight might be the last night for awhile, but Steve was determined to come back. Come back to Danny, to their family, to the life they’d built together, and to the love they shared.

They came together, silently, looking each other in the eye, saying more with one look than words could ever express.

This was them and this was what they were fighting for.

*H50*  
The next morning dawned early; the alarm went off at 0400, just enough time for Steve to shower, dress, and say goodbye to his family before heading off to the airstrip.

Danny groaned beside him as Steve gracefully got out of bed and moved towards the en suite bathroom. He got the water running to the perfect temperature and jumped in, hoping to savor the last real shower he would be getting for a long while. He moaned against the warm water, jumping when he felt cool hands caress his lower back.

“Whoa, don’t tell me your spidey senses are failing now,” Danny joked as he joined Steve in the shower.

“No fair sneaking up on a man enjoying his last real shower for awhile; those are cheating tactics, Detective.”

Danny smiled as he lathered up a wash cloth and began to spread soap all over Steve’s body, “I never said I fight fair, Commander.”

Steve arched into Danny’s touch, a quiet moan escaping his lips, Danny’s mouth muffling it quickly, “Careful, Steven, we don’t want to wake our children.”

Danny’s hand had made its way lower on Steve’s body and words were failing him at the moment, so he nodded his head in agreement and stuffed his fist in his mouth while Danny worked his magic.

Quickly spent, Steve stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, holding one out for Danny. Danny took it and followed Steve into the bedroom where he was putting on his fatigues.

After Steve zipped up his jacket, Danny stepped closer, “You know, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you in your fatigues.”

“I know; it’s been a long time since I’ve worn them. I’ll probably have to take them off soon, though. I rarely wear them on a mission, usually just to the base for the debriefing session.”

Danny kissed him softly and Steve buried his hands in Danny’s wet hair, “I’m going to miss you.”

“I know,” Danny replied, “I’m going to miss you too.”

“This is the hardest part.”

“It’s all hard, babe.”

“But, this is the part that makes me second guess my decision. It makes me second guess the choice I made to be a SEAL, knowing that I’m leaving you and our family behind.”

“Your family and I support you one hundred percent. Don’t ever forget that.”

“I love you, Danno, forever and always.”

“Forever and always, babe.”

Steve smiled a sad smile and picked up his duffle from beside the door. He walked first to Grace’s room, Danny following close behind. He softly shook Grace awake, “Hey, Grace Face, it’s Dad.”

She opened her eyes one at a time, blinking rapidly before he came into focus, “It’s time?”

Steve nodded. She pulled the covers off and padded slowly towards the bedroom door. Danny put his arm around her shoulder and moved her towards the stairs. Steve sighed and walked to Avery’s room, pushing her door open quietly. Crouching down to her sleeping form, Steve whispered, “Avery, sweetie, it’s Dad.”

Avery rubbed her own eyes open, tears already forming as she looked at her father dressed in his blue fatigues. She took his hand and followed him downstairs to where the rest of their family was waiting.

Danny gestured towards Avery who curled herself under the arm that wasn’t around Grace and Steve faced his family, his duffel by the door.

He was never any good at goodbyes, never had been. When Avery was little and she lived with his father it was easier. He rarely was leaving to go on a mission, just leaving to fly back to base. It made it easier, knowing he was just saying goodbye rather than saying goodbye as he left on a dangerous mission.

He watched tears fall freely from his daughters’ eyes and he quickly stepped forward, the two girls escaping from Danny’s loving grasp and throwing themselves at their Dad, “Oh, girls, I’m going to miss you. I’m going to be thinking about you every day. Remember, listen to Danno and make sure he’s not driving everyone totally nuts, okay?”

The girls laughed and wiped at their wet eyes. “Good,” he said as he pulled them back against his chest once more, “You two are my angels, my light in the darkest of nights. I will do everything I can to come back to our family. Promise me; promise that you will stay strong while I’m gone.”

Both girls nodded their heads and held him tighter.

“I love you, Dad,” Avery whispered and kissed him on the cheek, pulling out of his grasp and moving back towards Danny.

Grace did the same thing, whispering “I love you forever and ever, Dad.”

Steve felt the tears well, pushed them back and moved towards Danny. Danny shuffled his feet towards him, giving him his patented Williams grin, “You stay safe, sailor, you hear?”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

“Good,” Danny nodded, “Now come here you big lug.”

And Steve didn’t have to be told twice as he entered Danny’s loving arms; the girls had moved to the side, to give their fathers a few minutes of privacy.

“Danno loves you.”

“I love you too, babe.”

No more words were needed. They had said their goodbye the night before, and that was what they wanted to remember. Now was about the girls, about their family; their family facing this hard time together and making it out on the other side stronger.

Steve pulled away, gave one last kiss to each girl, and threw his duffel over his shoulder.

With one last wave of his hand, he pulled open the front door and walked out of his house towards an uncertain future.


	8. New Routines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for being so patient while I became a self-induced hermit during the last few weeks of the semester! Final papers and lots of grading kicked my butt and prevented me from having a lot of time to write! I hope this chapter is well worth the wait :) Please leave a comment and let me know what you think, good or bad!
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful beta jerseybelle for getting this chapter back to me so quickly and for all of her wonderful advice and suggestions!
> 
> This chapter is in Danny's POV!

Danny thought it was funny how even though there was a big gaping hole in his family, life still went on. Steve had been gone for a week and life already seemed to have found a new rhythm and routine, seemingly forgetting that Steve existed in their life at all.

But Danny didn’t miss the obvious, glaring moments of Steve’s absence. In the mornings Danny had to knock on the bedroom door down the hallway, three raps with his knuckles before he hears a grunt of acknowledgement from the teenager tangled under the covers, he had to start his own coffee, and he had to pass over the car keys when Avery managed to make it downstairs just in time to leave for practice.

“You know,” Danny started as he climbed into the passenger seat and Avery started up the Camaro, “when it was your father waking you up in the mornings you always seemed to be ready early, you even had enough time to eat breakfast at the table.” He motioned towards the granola bar she had in her hand, swallowing it in three large bites before pulling out of the driveway.

Avery shrugged her shoulders and kept her eyes on the road.

The uncomfortable silence was another sign of the big presence missing from their lives. But life didn’t notice that Steve was missing.

Avery still made it to swim practice on time, Grace still came over every other weekend, and Five-0 was still as crazy as ever (Kono had apparently made it her mission to fill in for Steve during his prolonged absence). Danny shifted easily into the boss role, fielding calls from the governor like he had been doing it for years. Evie’s mom dropped Avery off every afternoon after practice, and Avery still did her homework every night at the kitchen table.

Life seemed to continue on, but Danny knew better. Everyone else may have learned to adapt to the large hole, shift around and fill in the gaps, but he couldn’t. Not as easily, not as quickly.

The first morning Danny woke up alone he pulled himself into a seated position and took the laptop off the bedside table where he had placed it the night before. He began to type an e-mail to Steve. Without thinking, the e-mail became three pages of single spaced text, a long lament of the sadness that had already settled deep in Danny’s soul. His rational side got the better of him as he re-read his words and quickly deleted everything, knowing that letting Steve know what was bothering him wasn’t going to help any; it wasn’t going to bring Steve back.

Instead, Danny started over. He took a deep breath and slowly wrote each word, verifying that he wasn’t giving away too much, just enough to placate Steve that he wasn’t hiding.

April 27, 2011

Dear Steve,

It seems like it’s been forever since I’ve had to write one of these letters, and you know how much I hate them, which, as you always point out, is very ironic since I seem to enjoy words so much. I always respond telling you that writing and talking are two completely different things, and that just because you suffer from severe impediments in all social capacities does not mean that the rest of us excel in both. Anyway, you only left yesterday, and you probably haven’t even left Pearl yet. I know you can’t tell me about your missions, all that classified bullshit, but you’ve told me enough for me to know that the briefing session at the beginning is always longer than you let on. I think you just don’t want me to believe that you are only a few miles down the road. But really, it doesn’t matter because you might as well be 2,000 miles away.

Avery’s sad; she misses you. Today was the first morning in a long time that she’s had to drive to practice without you in the passenger seat. I think it made her nervous, or at least I hope it did. She almost hit a car at a four-way stop sign because she wasn’t completely paying attention. I hope it’s because her mind is elsewhere and not because I relented, against my better judgment, to let you start driving with her alone.

Five-0 won’t be the same either, without you. But I will hold down the fort, make sure Kono doesn’t go too overboard with her roundhouse kicks and penchant for small, deadly weapons. I still pray to whatever god is up there that you make it home safe. And I know the drill, okay, you won’t have all the time in the world to write to me and there will be long stretches of time that you won’t be anywhere near a computer, let alone a secure one that will allow you to send an e-mail home. So, when you do have the time to write, don’t waste the first five minutes apologizing for taking so long. I get it.

I just wanted to make sure you had an e-mail from home when you are finally able to open your inbox. Even though I’m sure everyone else will fill up your inbox with insane amounts of e-mails (cough, cough Kono). We all love you, we all miss you, and we all hope you come home to us in one piece, sooner rather than later.

Go get the bad guys, sailor. We’ve got your six back here.

Love always,

Danno

P.S. Avery’s going to flip a shit when she sees the window decal you put on her new car.

Danny had controlled himself from sending Steve five e-mails a day. He had learned that the hard way during Steve’s first deployment after they got together. He sent an e-mail anytime something came up he thought Steve might want to know, good or bad. By the time Steve had the opportunity to reach a computer he was so worried about what was going on at home that Danny barely got a word in edgewise for five whole minutes of the first phone call they were able to share. After that, Danny held back a little, not revealing every little thing that went wrong, and he restricted himself to one e-mail every few days, unless something really exciting happened.

Instead, Danny wrote in a journal. Every night he wrote something about the day, how he was feeling, or how hard it was for Steve to be gone. When Steve would get home, he would read it, every honest word and feeling Danny had felt while he was gone. And they would talk, talk and kiss, and make love. They would re-acclimate to each other and Steve would get caught up on everything their family had gone through during his deployment.

It worked for them. Danny didn’t feel like he was burdening Steve unnecessarily while he was gone, and Steve didn’t feel like Danny was hiding. So e-mails came every few days, and usually contained only happy things, like Avery getting her driver’s license.

*H50*  
Exactly one week after Steve deployed Avery turned sixteen, and the first thing she wanted to do was sit for her driving exam. So Danny woke up at five in the morning to drive her to the RMV and sit outside in the long line of people hoping to beat the rush. Avery fidgeted with the car keys, her lips moving silently as she went through each step she had to take before putting the car in drive.

Fix seat position. Put on seatbelt. Check mirrors. Do hand signals. Wait for the cop to tell her to start.

Danny laughed and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, “You are going to be fine. I’m a cop, remember, I know exactly what they expect you to do in a driving exam. I made sure you knew all of it while I was teaching you. You will do great and in only an hour or so you will be walking out of here with a new license and the ability to drive your car home, alone.”

“My car?”

“I may or may not have arranged with Chin and Kono to have your new car driven over here so you could drive it home.”

Avery’s face broke out in a grin, the first honest-to-god grin Danny had seen her sport since they all watched Steve walk out the front door a week ago.

“You’re the best, Danno.”

“I know.”

Avery play-shoved him with her shoulder as the cop pulled up in the testing vehicle and called out Avery’s name.

“You’re going to do great, Munchkin. I’ll be here when you finish. Good luck.”

Avery flashed a nervous smile and got into the driver’s seat. Danny watched her go through the motions that she had been replaying in her head for the past thirty minutes. As the cop gave her the go-ahead nod, he watched her pull out of the parking lot and didn’t stop looking until the taillights disappeared around a corner.

He pulled his phone out a dialed Chin, “Hey man, she just left. Bring the car around.”

A few minutes later a silver Mazda pulled into the RMV parking lot, with Kono’s car not far behind.

“Thanks,” Danny said as Chin and Kono made their way towards him, “She’s so excited.”

“You told her,” Kono gasped, “I thought it was going to be a surprise.”

“She was nervous. I thought it would put her at ease to have something to look forward to.”

“Or it could make her more nervous, now she has something to lose.”

Danny paled. He hadn’t really thought of that. He honestly hadn’t considered the possibility that Avery would fail the driving test. She was an excellent driver, and could successfully complete any of the driving maneuvers required on the test. But, Avery’s life hadn’t been easy the last week, and she was struggling with her feelings.

Danny’s heart caught in his chest as he saw Avery pull back into the parking lot and hop out of the car. At first he saw no emotion on her face, good or bad, as she strolled towards them.

“So, did you pass?” Danny couldn’t help blurting out the question.

Avery laughed, “Of course I did, Danno, I learned from the best.”

Danny grinned and pulled her into a hug, “You bet you did.”

“Now where’s my car?”

All three Five-0 members laughed and pointed towards the silver car, Chin holding the keys out to Avery.

“You guys rock!”

And without a glance back, she ran towards her car, squealing with glee as she did. She was about to hop in and start the car up when she noticed the sticker in her back window. Danny waited for her reaction, knowing it wasn’t going to be pretty.

She stood, staring at her back windshield, eyes darting quickly across the words, “What the hell is this?”

“A gift from your father, so that you and the boys don’t forget about him.”

“This is incredibly embarrassing. You know that, right?”

“I tried to talk him out of it, but he said it was a deal breaker. I figured you’d rather have the car.”

“My car says, ‘Warning: My father’s a Navy SEAL.’ He can’t expect me to keep this on.”

Kono and Chin had their fists in their mouths, holding back snorts of laughter.

“He said no sticker, no car. At least until he gets back and he is there to remind you and the boys.”

“What boys? There are no boys.”

“There better be no boys. I don’t think I can handle boys.”

“Good. We are in agreement. Since there are no boys, then there is no need for this sticker.”

Avery went to pull the sticker off the window when Danny put his arm out to stop her, “Just give him this one, Aves. He hated missing this. He just didn’t want you to forget about him. You know that he’s not handling you growing up very well.”

“Yeah, well, if he’s so worried about me growing up then maybe he shouldn’t have left to fight a battle that’s no longer his.”

And before Danny could say anything in retort Avery had slammed the car door shut and had peeled out of the parking lot.

Chin slapped him on the back, “C’mon, long day of paperwork ahead. She’s a teenager who is very close with her dad, and her dad just left and there’s a chance he may never come back. Give her some time to work through it.”

“Yeah, and what am I supposed to say if her biggest fear ends up coming true?”

“That she’s not alone.”

*H50*  
Whenever Steve was gone Danny became the interim head of Five-0. As much as Danny complained, constantly, about the lack of paperwork Steve completed, the forms he was constantly filling out to placate the government when Steve was too busy chasing down criminals to care, it never ceased to amaze him the number of things Steve did do in his role as leader of Five-0.

Phone calls, there were lots of phone calls, specifically from the Governor or his aides. Danny had no idea Steve talked to the governor this often.

After finishing the fifth phone call of the morning, Danny was thankful for the knock on the door.

“Hey, boss-man,” Kono greeted as she pushed the door to Danny’s office open.

“Yeah?”

“We got a case.”

“Oh, thank god. I don’t think I could look at another piece of paperwork without strangling myself.”

“Guess it’s a good thing you don’t wear a tie anymore.”

“Ha ha you are just so funny.”

“I know.”

Danny and Kono met Chin at the smart table where he began briefing them on all the relevant case details.

“Alright, Kono you go to the crime scene, talk to the witnesses, and Chin and I will go to the morgue and talk to Max.”

Kono mock saluted Danny and walked out.

“I really hate it when she does that.”

“We’re just trying to keep the familiar grimace on your face without Steve here to permanently etch it on your face.”

“Both of you should really take your act on the road.”

Chin just laughed and followed Danny towards the car

*H50*  
“How many times do I have to tell you that we don’t use hand grenades on suspects, Kono,” Danny yelled as he sat in the back of the ambulance while the EMT patched up his arm.

“I’ve seen Steve do it before.”

“That should have been your first clue as to why it was the dumbest thing you could possibly do.”

“But, Danny, we got the guy.”

“I don’t care because, thanks to you, I’m now missing three large strips of flesh from my upper arm, and no matter how skilled this wonderful EMT is, it will still leave a scar, which means, that my wonderful husband, when he gets home from whatever godforsaken desert he’s found himself in now, is going to want to know where my new scars came from. And when I tell him where they came from, he’s going to be upset that one, I was in that position in the first place, and two, that I didn’t tell him right when it happened.”

“Well then just tell him what happened. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“Understand! Understand! You think he’s going to understand, Kono. How do you think that conversation will go? ‘Hey babe, just writing you an e-mail to let you know that Kono got me injured today. Nothing major, just a few flesh wounds, they may or may not leave a scar. Hope you’re staying safe!’ You think after reading that he’s just going to let it go? No, he won’t. You know what he’ll do? Huh? I’ll tell you. He’s going to commandeer a SAT phone, probably breaking all sorts of protocol and call to make sure I’m okay. And he won’t let up until I tell him every freaking detail, which will get him wound up, and put him in his bad place because he wasn’t there to protect me. And you know what, Kono, I don’t want him in his bad place. He’s never any good in his bad place. So, for the love of god, can you please be more careful until the old boss comes back and he can teach you how to properly use grenades to take down a suspect?”

“Um, yeah, I can do that.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey, Danny,” Chin interrupted.

“What?”

“Why don’t we go out for some beers, relax a little.”

“I can’t because I have a daughter who feels abandoned by one father, can’t have her feeling that way about the other.”

“Maybe we all could come over, cheer her up? Be there for you?”

“I really appreciate the sentiment guys, but Avery and I are fine. We just need some time to readjust to our new routine. Plus, I got a whole night planned for her that should make her smile, even if just for a few minutes.

“Alright, brah, but if you need us don’t hesitate to call.”

“I won’t; I know you guys always have my back.”

And Danny was sure of that, no matter how many crazy injuries he sustained working with the crazy cousins and their insane boss. He was sure that Five-0 would always be ohana, and they would always have each other’s backs, through all the good and the bad.

Now he just had to remind Avery that her ohana always had her back, and the best way to do that was food.

Because she may be a McGarrett, but her comfort choices were all Williams.

*H50*  
“Hey, Avery, I’m home,” Danny yelled up the stairs as he toed his shoes off in the front hall, “I was thinking Italian for dinner, what do you think?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Avery, you swim close to 4,000 meters a day, don’t give me crap about not being hungry; you are always hungry.”

“Well, I ate earlier.”

“Yeah, what did you eat?”

“Pineapple.”

“You just said that to upset me.”

“No, I said it because it’s true.”

“Why don’t you come downstairs so we can have this conversation like normal people and stop yelling at each other from two different floors.”

A minute later Danny heard a huff and the sound of flip flops on the staircase. “You know, I was only yelling because you were the one that started it.”

Danny could hear the sarcasm in her voice, making him smile. He may have overreacted a little earlier in the day. This wasn’t the first time Steve had been deployed since they had gotten together. This hadn’t been the first deployment since he became Avery’s legal guardian. They had a pattern, and Danny really shouldn’t have doubted that the pattern wouldn’t be the same this time around.

For the first week or so Avery barely talked, didn’t come out of her room much, and spent most of her time making comments about how her dad abandoned her. Danny would listen, not yell or judge, and let her handle her emotions in her own way. What he did do was be there for her. He woke her up every morning, drove her to practice, and was there to cook dinner every night. He filled in the empty spaces left behind by Steve. And they didn’t do things exactly the same, they made it their own.

When Steve was gone Danny taught Avery the finer points of enjoying food. For example, fried foods were okay, in moderation and as long as you got adequate physical exercise.

Butter was a cook’s best friend. And the fatty cuts of meat were the best.

Food was what had brought Danny and Avery together the first time Steve left Avery solely in Danny’s care, and ever since then it had been their thing. They saved up recipes for the days Steve was gone, be it deployment or a weekend training mission at Pearl. They didn’t tell Steve; it was something that just belonged to them.

“So, I found a new recipe for Gorgonzola meatballs and a homemade sauce to go with them, thought we’d try them.”

“Gorgonzola meatballs?”

“Yeah, very large meatballs stuffed with gorgonzola cheese and baked in the oven and then placed on top of a really delicious tomato sauce. No need for pasta because the meatballs are the meal.”

“Sounds interesting,” Avery quirked an eyebrow in his direction.

“Interesting? No, no, no delicious, marvelous, brilliant are much better words to describe what’s about to go down in this kitchen.”

“Dad will kill us, you know, ground beef and gorgonzola cheese.”

“Heart attack waiting to happen, I know,” Danny laughed as he began pulling out the pans they’d need, “But, what your father doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“So does that mean we can take the window decal off the car?”

“Nice try, but no.”

“Damn.”

“Swear jar.”

“Danno, we got rid of the swear jar when we were like ten years old.”

“Well, if you’re going to have a mouth like a sailor then I’m going to reinstate the swear jar.”

“My father’s a sailor and my other father’s a Jersey cop, what do you expect to come out of my mouth?”

“Okay, touché, but seriously, watch the language.”

“Alright, alright.”

And so the father-daughter pair got to work on the most deliciously fattening meatballs they could come up with. They both stirred and chopped and stuffed until the oven was bubbling with melted cheese and the tomato flavor from the sauce was wafting through the kitchen.

“Your father would be really proud of you, getting your license,” Danny started as he popped off the cap of a Longboard and pushed a bottle of root beer towards Avery.

“Yeah, I bet you’re more surprised than he is, what with all my McGarrett genes.”

“When did you become so clever?”

“I learned that from my detective father.”

“In all seriousness, though, Aves, he is really bummed that he missed this.”

“I know, don’t worry. It’s just hard when he misses stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I’m unbelievably proud of him, of all the sacrifices he’s made for our country, but sometimes I get upset that I don’t have a normal family, you know. And don’t give me that face Danno, I don’t mean a Mom, Dad, two kids, and a picket fence. I just mean two parents that love me and come home every night. Not one parent who flies halfway around the world every few years or so to play ninja-spy in the jungles of some war-torn country we aren’t even supposed to have any troops in.”

“Yeah, but if we were a normal family how much fun would we be?”

“True, but still, I wish I didn’t have to worry so much, worry that that was the last time I would ever see Dad alive. He’s all I had for so long.”

“I know.”

“And everyone in my life has left me.”

“No one has ever left you on purpose.”

“My mom did.”

“She did what she thought was best for you.”

“Leaving me with an active duty SEAL was what was best for me?” Avery’s voice began to rise as Danny realized they were getting to the root of her issues.

“Your father has been dedicated to your safety since he found out your mother was pregnant; he would do anything for you.”

“I know that, but it doesn’t excuse what she did. How is leaving me in the care of a man who gets called away at a moment’s notice, in the middle of the night sometimes, what was best for me? I love him, Danno, more than anything. My dad and I have a super close relationship, but for the first five years of my life I was raised by my grandfather because my father was never around. And you know how that turned out. He was murdered, and then Dad thought it was best to actually raise me. I’ve been everyone’s back-up.”

“You are no one’s back up, Avery Lynne.”

“Then why did my mom leave me, why did my dad not quit his job as a SEAL when he became a single dad? Why did he stay in the reserves even after he got a job here where he could stay with me and actually be my dad?”

“Your father is a Navy man. You can’t take that part of him away; it’s such a big part of who he is. He is a father and a SEAL and a husband. He’s all of those things rolled into one. If you were taken away he would be equally, probably more lost than he would be if you took him out of the Navy. You can’t ask him to abandon who he’s been since he was eighteen.”

“He left me, just like Grandpa and just like Mom, all alone.”

“Avery, you are not alone.”

“I am alone.”

“What about me?”

“You aren’t my real dad; you’re just going to leave whenever I get to be too difficult.”

“That’s not even close to true.”

“Everyone leaves me.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks, her meatballs long forgotten as Danny moved towards her, enveloping her in a hug.

“I will never leave you, ever. I adopted you, Avery, and that’s not a decision I made lightly.”

“You did it for my dad.”

“Look at me,” Danny commanded as he pulled Avery’s chin up so she would be looking him in the eye, “I did that for you, not your father. I did that so you knew exactly what it meant to have two parents who love you. Because I love you more than this world, Avery. I consider you my daughter just as much as I consider Grace to be my daughter. Blood and DNA mean nothing; you must have learned that by now. Our ohana is who we choose to be with us through everything. And I made a choice a long time ago to be with you through everything.”

“Even if Dad never comes home?”

“If Dad never comes home I will still be here. I hate to break it to you kid, but you’re kinda stuck with me forever.”

“Well, for once, that doesn’t sound half bad.”

And they both laughed, finding comfort in each other, once again as they filled in the holes and the gaps Steve left behind.


	9. Looking Back and Looking Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a lot longer to write than I was expecting. This is the last semi-filler chapter before the drama and angst start to really unfold! This story is first and foremost a story about Steve, Danny, and their family. So, I wanted to make sure that even though Steve's deployed we don't lose him for 2/3rds of the story because he's overseas. This is my attempts at giving you some insight into what it's like for Steve. Sorry for the semi-long wait, but remember I write a companion piece and the chapter for this story between every update! That's a lot of writing for me, so it does take some time. Espeically because I don't want to post a half-ass chapter because I was too busy to do it right.
> 
> Thanks to my beta jerseybelle for making such a big difference on this chapter! Her ideas and feedback made such a huge difference :)

*Steve's POV*

As soon as his house disappeared from view a feeling of dread fell on Steve’s shoulders. He was only a hundred feet away from the people he cared about the most, but in that moment when he knew he couldn’t turn around and give them all one last kiss he felt as if they were a hundred thousand miles away.

Pulling into Pearl Steve put his truck in park, grabbed the duffel from the back of the cab, and made his way towards Rear Admiral Jensen’s office.

“Admiral,” Steve saluted as Jensen stood up from behind his desk.

“Commander,” the Admiral saluted back and signaled for Steve to take a seat, “It’s good to see you back in uniform.”

“It’s good to be back in uniform, sir,” Steve said even though it was partly a lie. Sure, Steve was proud of his role in the Navy. He loved serving his country and has never once regretted his decision to commit to a lifetime of service. But now his family needed him more than his country. His girls weren’t getting along, Grace felt alienated and isolated at Rachel’s house, and Danny was barely holding it together watching the two people he loved the most duke out their problems with fighting words and cold shoulders. Steve was putting an even bigger burden on all of them, the worry and fear that would plague their thoughts until he came home could achieve insurmountable proportions. Today, for the first time in his long military career, Steve wished he could take his uniform off.

“Now, there isn’t much time for small talk, we have to get down to business. I’m sure by now you realize that my asking you to come to the base for that case a month ago was for a reason.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I was surprised when I heard you transferred to the reserves, McGarrett, didn’t seem like something you would do.”

“My family needed me, sir. I had to.”

“Well, I’m glad to know that even without being on active duty you still haven’t lost your touch. You were one of the best I ever trained.”

“Thank you, Admiral.”

“Now, the target is a North Korean diplomat who’s been doing some illegal arms deals in the Middle East. With your history of catching members of the underground weapons market I thought you would be the perfect man to lead this mission.”

“I appreciate the confidence and am ready to put this man out of business.”

“Good. Here is all of the intel we’ve been able to gather over the last six months or so. I’ve put together a good team that I think you will be very happy with. Three sailors are fresh from Coronado, but I assure you they have what it takes to successfully complete this mission, and I think they will benefit from your leadership. To round out your team I’ve assigned Chief Petty Officer Gordon and Petty Officer First Class Richards to help you; I know you’ve worked with them on previous missions.”

“Yes, sir, they are outstanding men,” Steve was excited to see two old friends, the silver lining of an otherwise very dark cloud.

“Your team is in the briefing room waiting for you. Your quarters are down the hall, second door on the left. You will have as much time as you need to go through the intel and formulate a plan. I hope it won’t take more than a week and a half, Commander.”

“No, sir, we will be ready in no more than a week.”

Steve stood, saluted the Admiral, and left the room and moved towards his quarters. After storing his things in his assigned bunk room, Steve made his way towards the briefing room, a stack of files and folders of intelligence the Admiral had given him cradled in the crook of his arm, the familiar hold reminding him of how he used to carry an infant Avery around when she couldn’t be consoled to sleep.

Steve remembers clear as day the first time he had to leave Avery. She had just begun to warm up to him, finally beginning to realize that he was her father. She still had the wonderful pink baby coloring and chubby cheeks Steve enjoyed nuzzling his nose against. They had been together, just the two of them, for a little over a month before he got the call.

Steve had been in the middle of trying to convince Avery to take the bottle he was attempting to feed her, but she was being stubborn as usual. He would swear she was refusing to eat on purpose. His cell phone began to ring just out of reach on the table and with one more look at the gurgling baby in his arms he stood up, careful to cradle Avery’s head in the crook of his arm, and picked up the phone. With a quick ‘Yes, sir,’ he hung up and looked down at the small child in his arms.

Afghanistan.

His unit was being called in to extract a captured Army General before he was tortured to death. He was told he had one hour to report before he was considered AWOL.

Barely over the three month old mark, Avery was small for her age, but strong. All of her check-ups had been fine and the doctors assured Steve that her size was in the normal range and he shouldn’t fret. As the reality of his situation fell on his shoulders, Steve, for the first time since he entered Annapolis as a freshman, seriously considered defying orders. How could he leave such an innocent, defenseless, wonderful child to go fight evil across the world? What kind of father would it make him if he didn’t come home? How was it responsible of him to put himself, the only parent Avery had, in such clear harm’s way when his death would mean she would be alone?

He stood in the middle of his one bedroom apartment, his eyes never leaving the bright blue ones of his daughter who was cooing contently in his arms. And what happens if he does come home? Will she remember him? What will happen the next time he leaves? How many times can he leave before she starts losing her faith in him, faith that her father will always be there to protect her?

Steve wrestled with his emotions, his fears. He took two deep breaths before dialing a now familiar number. When the older woman answered the phone Steve could hear the smile in her voice. Louise told Steve to bring Avery right over and that she would be happy to watch her for as long as necessary.

Even though Steve made quick work of packing up everything Avery may need while he was gone, the job took up almost the entire sixty minutes he was allotted before he needed to report. He knocked on Louise’s door, half of the contents of his apartment standing on the front stoop with him. He remembers Louise making a joke, saying she’s raised three kids and has two grandkids which keep her pretty stocked up on the equipment needed for an infant.

He remembered having a hard time handing over the sleeping girl. He kissed her on the cheek, told her that Daddy loved her, and that he would be home as soon as he could. He handed Louise a note, instructing her to make sure Avery got it if anything happened to him. He knew she wouldn’t be able to read it for a few years, but he wanted to make sure that no matter what, Avery knew that she was loved.

It was the hardest thing Steve McGarrett had ever had to do, turn his back on his little girl, and it never got any easier.

Even now, when she was a determined sixteen year old on her way to being a beautiful young woman, it was hard. Even now that he had Danny at home, holding down the fort, keeping their family in one piece it wasn’t easier, it wasn’t better, and it certainly didn’t hurt any less.

For the first week after saying goodbye, he stayed locked in a conference room at Pearl, going over all the intel Naval Intelligence had collected on the intended target – a North Korean diplomat who had been supplying explosives and automatic weapons to the Taliban. Steve and his unit spent night and day pouring over files, studying surveillance photos, drawing maps of the compound Yunsin was hiding in, determining a plan of attack.

Steve was the highest ranking member of the team, making him the commanding officer. It was up to him to make the final judgment call on their plan of attack, and it was his responsibility to make sure all of his men got home safely, a responsibility he relished and despised at the same time.

Steve went to Annapolis because he wanted to be in the Navy, but he wanted to get an education. By completing his education at the Naval Academy, Steve was commissioned into the Navy as a junior officer, and quickly made his way up the ranks after a collection of accolades came his way. Now solidly standing at the rank of Commander, Steve was proud of his accomplishments in the Navy, proud to lead men into battle and to be the one responsible for their safety. But, he didn’t miss the added stress and fear that was compounded onto him when he joined the ranks of commanding officers, knowing that the added responsibility, the higher trust, also meant greater fallout if something went wrong.

So Steve made sure he and his team researched every little tidbit of information gathered about their target before they suited up and prepared to leave; he wasn’t going to leave a rock unturned because even a single detail left out may spell disaster and cause either himself or his teammates to not return stateside.

The first week away from Danny and the girls was the most emotionally taxing. He was gone from their life indefinitely, no timeline for when he could possibly return. What made it the hardest was the close proximity he still shared with them; he was only a fifteen minute drive away from his house. They could easily meet each other, share a meal, and be on their way. But that was against protocol and the distance must remain as if it was much farther. Steve couldn’t see his family and they couldn’t see him. He wished he could tell them that he hadn’t left yet, that he was still safe. But, again, that defied protocol and could get him into loads of trouble.

It didn’t matter how many days stretched between the goodbye and the reunion, the time he spent only miles from home were the worst. Those days taunted him, teased him, gave him glimpses of the Hawaiian sun, and a taste of the salt in the air. They fooled him with silver cars flashing by, prompting him to turn and look, instinctively, for the Camaro. Those days reminded him that he was so close yet so far from the ones he loved.

When their week of planning was up Steve breathed a sigh of relief, ready to move out and attack this mission head on. But he did not leave without a sense of foreboding, a sense that maybe everything wasn’t going to be okay. He dismissed the thoughts with a shake of his head, chalking it up to the intense emotions that coursed through his body being only a short distance from home.

*H50*  
Their Air Force transport brought them to Japan where they had a twelve hour layover before hopping their transport to South Korea. Once in South Korea the team would be taken by helicopter over the border and dropped in a relatively remote area of North Korea. Once on the ground the six-man unit would head out on foot to the hidden compound of the diplomat and his advisors.

While waiting at the Air Force base in Japan, Steve was able to steal a few minutes away on a desktop computer set up for soldiers to communicate with their families. He pulled up his inbox; smiling at the number of e-mails he had already received from his family, two from Danny, six from Avery, and three from Grace, not to mention the multiple e-mails from Kono, Chin, and Kamekona.

Steve read through the ones from his friends first. He wasn’t a superstitious man, but for some reason during a deployment he read through his e-mails in the same order every time: friends, the girls, and finally Danny.

Chin talked to Steve about Five-0’s latest cases, lamenting over the fact that their fearless leader wasn’t there to rough up a bad guy or two (Danny was being a much harsher stickler for the rules of proper police procedure). Steve laughed at the thought that ten years working for him and Danny was still the only one who held onto the idea of proper police procedure with a death grip; he’d even been able to break steadfast Chin of some of the more bendable rules.

Kono discussed some of the more memorable bad guy take downs, the new defense techniques she was trying to teach Avery and Grace (to keep them sharp while you’re gone boss, she’d said), and the killer swells that were hitting the North Shore. Kono’s e-mails always made Steve smile. She kept them light, humorous, and without fail always told him about the days surf report. Steve couldn’t lie, even in the middle of the desert, no ocean in sight, reading her e-mails always made him smell the familiar tang of the Hawaiian air, the taste of salt on his tongue.

Kamekona wrote half his e-mail in Pidgin and the other half in English. The weird combination of words usually took Steve a minute or two to decipher, switching between the two languages more than once per sentence. But, the e-mails always left Steve laughing out loud as Kamekona described his most recent shrimp creation (shrimp tamales with wasabi sauce, Steve’s mouth was burning just thinking of the hot and disgusting combination). Kamekona offered to send Steve a sample, which he politely declined saying there was no way he’d get access to the package before it went bad.

After finishing his friends’ e-mails, he turned next to the e-mails from the girls.

Hey Steve,

I know that I’m being a little ridiculous you having just left yesterday and all, but I just wanted to let you know I miss you. Not too much to report here, 24 hours really doesn’t give a girl a lot of time to get up to too much trouble :P I hope that you are staying safe, wherever you are, and that you come home to us!

How are the guys on your team this time? As green as the last set? I bet if they are they have no idea what they’ve gotten themselves into with Commander McGarrett as their CO. Maybe I should get their names and send them all an e-mail with the pictures of you dressed up as a Pretty Pretty Princess that time Avery and I made you and Danno play for an entire afternoon. I hope that whoever they are, they’ve got your back because I know you’ll have theirs even though Danno complains about your lack of back-up ability; I know you’re still pretty awesome at it!

I’ll write in a few days, hopefully something exciting will have happened so I have something to write about!

Love you,

Grace Face

Steve smiled as he saved that message to respond to after he finished reading the rest. Grace wrote in a later e-mail about a fight between Step-Stan and Rachel, a knock-out, drag-out fight (Grace’s words, paraphrased from her father’s verbal repertoire) about Step-Stan’s business associates (i.e. Step-Stan’s “dinner meetings” with his secretary). Steve grimaced as he read Grace’s words. He was angry at Rachel and Stan for putting Grace through such an ordeal, forcing her to live in such a miserable environment, and restricting her activities to things they thought “appropriate for young ladies.”

Steve quickly began typing his reply, making sure to urge her to confide in Danny.

Hi Grace Face,

I certainly wouldn’t put it past you to figure out how to get into trouble within 24 hours of my departure! And I never get tired of reading e-mails from my girls, even if they are sent only a day after I’ve left. Everything you say is interesting to me because I’m the one missing your life back home, so anything you want to tell me, have at it.

I like my team, a little green, but not so much like the last time. I know they’ll have my back just as good as I’ll have theirs. None of them will ever be as good a back-up as Danno, but I think we both knew that.

If you ever, under any circumstances, send those pictures to a single individual related to the Navy you will never, ever, see the outside of your bedroom (just kidding, but seriously don’t send them).

Have you talked to Danno yet about how you’re feeling? I promised I would keep our conversation between us, and I did, but I also told you that I would be pestering you until you came clean to Danno. Please do it soon, I think Danno could really use a pick-me-up, what with my smiling face not there all the time.

Love you forever and ever, Gracie,

Steve

Next he began to read through all of the e-mails Avery had sent, not surprised in the least bit that she had sent one every day. It had become a tradition as soon as Avery was able to dictate a note to her grandfather, that she sent something to Steve every day he was deployed. When she was little the messages were short, usually only three or four rambling sentences about a kid at preschool or the newest bathing suit Grandpa had bought her. Over the years, the e-mails became longer, missives about her feelings and her fears. But time was precious, and Avery rarely had enough time to write long, heart-felt e-mails on a daily basis. So, sometimes the e-mails just contained a line or two, telling him how much she loved him, missed him, etc., sometimes she sent along a picture of something she’d done or a picture of the two of them, sometimes she just wrote a quote she’d found. But, without fail, there was always something from Avery on a daily basis.

Hi Dad,

I GOT MY LICENSE TODAY!!! AND I’M SIXTEEN!!! I can’t believe it! The test was not hard at all, even though I was really nervous. You and Danno had really prepared me for everything that might be on it, yay! When I got back Danno had Chin and Kono bring my car to the RMV, so I got to drive it all the way home, by myself! I still don’t have my plastic license yet, just a paper one, but the real one should come in the mail in a few days 

Oh and don’t think for a second that I didn’t see that ridiculous window decal you put on my car. Be fair warned I’m only keeping it on there until you get home since there are NO BOYS hanging around that need a reminder!!

You’ve been gone a week but it already feels like months. Danno is trying his best to fill the void you leave behind, but it’s just not the same without you. I find it so hard to wake up in the mornings when it’s not you knocking on my door saying some ridiculous Navy saying about getting up before the sun or whatever.

School’s fine; I’m glad it’s almost over for the year, though. High school is hard, and the other kids make it really difficult. I know that what we have is special, that even though our family is a little different, the love that runs deep within us is as strong as ever. But when all anyone does is make rude comments and snide remarks about the unnaturalness of it or how I pushed my mom away, it hurts and makes it hard.

But I know that you can’t do anything about it, Dad. I’m not looking for you to save the world (well at least not my world, I wouldn’t mind if you knocked off a couple of terrorists or two while you’re out there :P), but you’ve always been so easy to talk to.

I hope that the ‘Stan or Iraq or some jungle in the middle of whatever-a-stan is treating you well!

Love you to the bottom of the ocean and back again,

Avery

Steve smiled at the obvious excitement Avery was feeling about her license. But even in the midst of such an awesome accomplishment he could feel the pain she was dealing with as school became harder and harder to handle. The rest of her e-mails were more of the same; she talked about swimming, cooking with Danno, and a new running route she couldn’t wait to try with him. But interspersed in the funny stories about Ian’s attempts at trying to win Avery’s affection (not Avery’s words but rather Steve’s own observations of the poor boy’s actions, he would feel bad for the boy if he wasn’t trying to date his little girl), Avery alluding to the incredibly unhealthy and non-Steve approved meals her and Danny were indulging in, and play-by-plays of her most recent swim meet, Steve could read the sub-text between the lines; the sub-text that said I’m hurting and I don’t know how much longer I can handle it without my dad and my sister here to back me up. Trying his best to assure her that everything was going to be okay, Steve began his e-mail to Avery.

Happy 16th Birthday Sweet Pea,

Congratulations on getting your license! I knew you could do it  And thank you for including me in your list of clearly qualified driving instructors, please be sure to inform Danno of your opinion. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to see you drive off in your new car or wish you a happy birthday in person, but I was thinking about you the whole day, remembering the first time I held you in my arms when you were just a baby. I can’t believe how big my little girl’s gotten.

I knew you wouldn’t miss the window decal, but you better keep it on the window or I promise no car for a month when I get home! And I have no idea what you’re talking about, no boys, Ian is calling you constantly, dropping you off from practice any chance he gets, that boy likes you big time even if you don’t realize it.

Avery, I never want you to hide your feelings from me; I want you to be able to trust me with anything, and know that you can talk to me about whatever is on your mind. I know that it’s hard to be apart, but you and Gracie and Danno have to be strong for each other.

I wish I could come and save your world, sweetie, but I gave up on being able to do that a long time ago. What I can do is promise to be here whenever you need someone to lean on; even from over here I’m only an e-mail away! And even though I know you know this, I want to remind you that I won’t always be near a computer and if my response isn’t quick enough or you feel like you’re in danger, promise me that you will tell Danno. I mean it Avery Lynne, I want you in one full piece when I see you again.

Everything here is good, but I’m already itching to be back with you guys.

Love you always, always, Aves,

Dad

Steve quickly sent his response to Avery before reading Danny’s e-mails, a smile gracing his face as he pictured his husband sitting in their bed wearing one of his old SEALs t-shirts, typing madly on his computer before re-reading what he wrote and deleting half of it, believing it to be too much for Steve to handle during his deployment.

Steve knew how much he’d scared Danny the first time they were apart and he called in a frantic tone making sure everything was okay. Yes, Danny had been sending him daily, sometimes twice-daily, e-mails about the goings-on at home, the good and the bad. Yes, Steve was a little nervous after the tenth e-mail about Avery’s bloody noses. But, he was not trying to scare Danny into not telling him anything. In the end they came to an understanding that worked for them; Danny sent regular e-mails, told the good things and any important bad things, and then wrote everything else in a journal. When Steve came home he would read the journal and then he would be caught up with their family life.

Steve liked how they did it now, he liked their compromise. As much as he tried to convince Danny that he didn’t have to hide the bad things from him during a deployment, it was easier to focus on his job when he didn’t have twenty e-mails about Grace’s spelling problems flashing through his mind. But, on the flip side, not knowing what was going on at home also made it hard for him to focus. What if something really terrible happened and Danny was too nervous to tell him?

When Danny suggested the journal he thought it was a brilliant idea. This way, Steve would be able to catch up, completely, on what occurred in his family during his absence. And Danny promised that no matter what, if something happened to him or either of the girls, Danny would do everything in his power to try and find a way to let Steve know.

And Steve trusted Danny, trusted that he would never hide something from him because he was deployed. Steve believed instinctively that Danny would never violate his trust.

And knowing that Danny was telling him the things he needed to hear, Steve replied to Danny’s e-mail.

Danno,

Don’t lie…you know you love words in any form, verbal or written. And I do not suffer from social inadequacies; the last time I checked the only person who ever thought I had issues socializing was you, clearly your standards are impossible. (And I know that at this very moment you are making that face that makes you look like a gaping fish as you violently shake your head, disagreeing that your standards are in fact not impossible. And I know that because I’m a fantastic social companion and I pick up on people’s mannerisms).

How long I was or was not at Pearl is classified, but you really are a wonderful detective.

I miss her too. I miss all of you. I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve had to leave the three of you behind, and all the big moments I’m already missing. I’m sure Avery was just nervous and upset about the situation, not the driving. Plus, a little birdie may have told me that Avery in fact passed her driver’s test so clearly I was an excellent driving instructor.

Tell Kono that the secret stash of military grade explosives is in the bottom left drawer of my desk. That should keep her occupied for the remainder of my deployment. Sometimes I miss the missions and the adrenaline rush that comes with being a SEAL, but this time, I miss having you and Chin and Kono at my back being the ones helping me take out the bad guys. I know you are probably holding the Five-0 fort down just fine. Sick of the governor yet? I know how much you love the phone.

I miss you all too! And I hope you are all in one piece when I get home. And by you all I really mean you. No tying any suspects to the hood of the Camaro without me there to supervise.

Forever and always,

Steve

P.S. Another little birdie may have given me a piece of her mind about a certain window decal, just make sure the decal stays on the window until such a time I come home and super glue it to the window to make sure it never comes off.

After sending off his last e-mail, Steve felt a weight lift off his shoulders and he felt lighter inside. Being able to check in with his family, know that all of them were safe and unharmed did wonders at calming his mind. Being able to have the time to reassure them that he was okay did an even better at relaxing him.

He checked his watch and realized that he still had six hours before their flight left for South Korea. Looking over at the line forming around the phones, Steve decided he would try and get a call out to home, knowing that it could be weeks before he would be near a land line again.

The wait took over an hour before Steve was granted ten minutes to call home. Quickly dialing the home phone, he waited and waited, but no one answered. Grumbling under his breath he tried both girls’ cell phones, being redirected to voice mail on both. He left quick messages telling them how much he loved them, missed them, and hoped to talk to them soon, he hung up and tried Danny’s cell, hoping he could hear at least his voice before he boarded the flight to Korea.

Apparently luck wasn’t on Steve’s side because Danny’s phone went straight to voicemail, signaling it was turned off. Cursing, Steve waited for the beep and left a message for Danny. Knowing that no one in his family could control the fact that they happened to be busy at the time of his call, he kept all of his messages devoid of the annoyance he felt creeping into his system. As much as he wanted to call and reassure his family, he also wanted the reassurance that they were okay. He wanted to hear their voices and carry that sound with him into the dregs of society.

He reminded himself that being too focused on his family could be the death of himself, his teammates, and the mission if it caused him to lose focus on what lay ahead.

Steeling himself for what was to come, Steve slowly morphed his way back into SEAL-mode, becoming less Steve the family man and more Steve the Commander.

*H50*  
After their twelve hour layover in Japan, Steve and his team were ready to board their transport to South Korea. They all strapped themselves into the back of the plane, settling in for the long flight.

Steve thought it was funny watching what other soldiers did to keep themselves grounded during war. Some soldiers carried around crosses or other trinkets they believed had supernatural powers of luck. Some soldiers recited prayers or poems or quotes that reminded them what they were fighting for, words to get them through the tough days ahead. Some soldiers carried around pictures of their families, drawings their kids made before they left. Steve remembers one soldier that carried a knitted infant sock that belonged to his daughter around in his boot.

His team was made up of six members, including him, and three of them were sailors fresh out of Coronado, ready and chomping at the bit to tackle their first mission.

Steve was apprehensive at first to work with such a young team, but his superiors assured him they were the best of the best and just needed the opportunity to show their strength. Steve also had the utmost confidence in the other two members of his team, two men who had fought beside Steve for many years, two men who had pulled Steve out of a burning building, saving his life.

Steve rested his head against the back of his seat and pulled out the picture of his family that he kept in a pocket of his Kevlar.

The sailor sitting next to him glanced over, “Is that your family, Commander?”

Steve looked towards the young man and gave him a better look at the photo, “That’s my daughter, Avery. She turned sixteen a few days ago, just got her driver’s license. She’s pretty excited about that. This is my daughter, Grace. She’s sixteen too, a few months older then Avery. She’s a fantastic poker player, will drink you dry if you let her. And that’s Danny.”

Steve hesitated. It wasn’t that he wasn’t comfortable telling people who Danny was, quite the opposite actually. He told anyone and everyone who would listen that he had the best husband in the whole world and he was ecstatic with the life they’d built here on Hawaii.

It had everything to do with the Navy. Sure, DADT was long gone and it had been years since Steve and Danny had to lie about their relationship, pretend Danny was just Steve’s work partner and best friend, the only person on the island he trusted to take care of his daughter should he need to deploy again. But just because the law was gone didn’t mean the prejudice had gone with it. Steve never offered his marital status without prompting. If asked he would never lie, but he got nervous, nervous what these men he’s fighting beside, men who are supposed to have his back when the time comes, think of him.

“How long have you been together?” the observant sailor asked, sparing Steve the responsibility of opening up.

“Ten years.”

“How did you two meet?”

Steve couldn’t help it, he laughed. The story of how he and Danny met is most definitely unique, “When he pulled a gun on me.”

“Come again?”

“I flew back to Hawaii after news of my father’s murder. He was murdered as revenge for an arms dealer I had captured in the SEALs, so after his funeral I went back to the house to find evidence to help me find his killer and the other member of the illegal arms dealing team. I was in the garage looking through this toolbox he left me when I heard a noise. I pulled my weapon and in through the door walks this guy dressed in a dress shirt and tie, he screamed haole from a mile away, holding his own weapon telling me to put the gun down and asking why I was here since it was a crime scene. Long story short, I called the governor, took her up on the offer to run her task force, transferred to the reserves, and then asked this insane detective to be my partner. A few months later we realized we were pretty much acting like an old married couple, so we took the plunge and haven’t looked back since.”

“Have you ever come back to active duty since you guys got together?”

“Yeah, a few times actually. The first time was only six months after we got married which would have made it about a year and a half after we started dating. That mission lasted nine months, I think. Again when the girls were ten, and then two years ago I was gone for six months. I wasn’t called up as often as I was when I was active duty, but it was enough.”

“You know, after I graduated from BUD/s I really hoped I’d get to work with you.”

“With me? How’d you even know who I was before a week ago?”

“About a year into BUD/s I was off base one night and I was at a bar. I only came for a beer, just to clear my head, think about what I was training for, what I was getting myself into, when someone sits down on the stool next to me, gives me the once over, and asked me what a sailor was doing in a gay bar. I basically spit my drink out over the entire bar in front of me. How did this guy have any idea I was in the Navy? I wasn’t wearing anything that could tip him off. He said I shouldn’t worry so much. He only knew because he used to be in the Navy and could always spot a brother in arms from a mile away. Anyway, he asked me if I was in BUD/s and when I said yes, he said to make sure I look out for a guy named Steve McGarrett. I asked him why, and he told me because if I ever wanted to keep my career in the Navy and have a personal life then you’d be the one to ask.”

“Why me?”

“He said you were one of the first sailors to openly come out after DADT was repealed. He said not only were you an officer but you were a SEAL and it took a lot of guts for you to do that. He also said that almost no one gave you crap because you were Steve McGarrett. I asked him what that meant and all he said was ‘You’ll see,’ downed his beer, and left.”

“Huh, didn’t realize people knew who I was.”

“Does Danny get angry when you get called up? It’s not like you have to stay in the reserves.”

“Sure, but it dies pretty quickly when he remembers how important being in the Navy has been to me for the last twenty years. He’s the strongest guy I know, and he’s the only reason I can still be in the SEALs.”

“Why?”

“Because there is no one else in this world I trust with my daughter.”

“What about her mom?”

“Not in the picture,” Steve’s serious tone successfully ended that line of questioning.

“Well, I’m glad I met you. Now I can tell my boyfriend we really can make it work.”

Steve smiled, looked down at the picture in his hand, “If you love each other enough, you can make it work. My family is living proof.”

And with the reminder of his family tucked away inside his vest, next to his heart, he settled in, mentally steeling himself for the long, gruesome journey ahead.

*H50*  
Once the team landed in South Korea, they were shuttled to the base in Chinhae, Korea. They would be staying there for a day or two, gearing up for the mission and getting some much needed rest, something that will be hard to come by in the days ahead.

The forty-eight hour respite seemed to fly by and before he knew it, Steve was pulling off his fatigues and packing all of his identifiable information into the duffel that would be staying at the base.

The classified nature of the mission required that all the SEALs become ghosts. If they were to be captured by the enemy or killed in action, the enemy could not know who they were, where they came from, or any other piece of information that may alert them to U.S. movement in their country and abroad.

Not only did this mean wearing black or camouflage clothes that did not bear a single symbol of the United States, it meant wearing dog tags that had only a number that someone could plug into a computer in order to identify the body, and it meant carrying absolutely nothing that would identify his family.

Steve had to take the picture of Avery, Grace, and Danny out of his Kevlar and put it carefully into the bag, rubbing his fingers along the worn edges as he did so. Not carrying a reminder of who he was fighting for tore at Steve’s soul. He wanted, more than anything, to have his family close to his heart. Taking the picture out of its hiding spot, packing it away made it seem like he was putting up mental blocks, protecting himself from the images and memories of his loved ones.

In a way, Steve thought, he was. By getting rid of any reminders of home, Steve was putting himself in the best position to make it back safely. Any knowledge of his home life, his husband, or his children could be dangerous in the hands of an enemy. Steve knew this, but it didn’t make it any easier to metaphorically wash his hands of his family.

The last thing Steve did before turning to leave his room was pull of his wedding ring. The white gold band with a line of gold through the center had left his finger only three times in the previous ten years, all for top-secret missions he was called up to complete.

Taking off his wedding ring made him feel as if he was leaving Danny behind. The ring served as a reminder of their love, their commitment, and their bond together. It reminded Steve to wait for back-up (at least, at a minimum, to wait for Danny to step up behind him), it reminded him to kiss the girls good night every time he came home after they went to sleep, it reminded him that he had something in this world worth fighting for. The ring felt like Danny’s life blood, the piece of his soul he had given to Steve on their wedding day, trusting him to hold and cherish until their deaths.

Steve never told Danny that he had to remove his wedding ring in order to complete his missions. He felt it was something he could do to protect Danny from the threatening and dangerous nature of his job.

It wasn’t much, but, Steve thought, it was better than nothing.

Steve pushed the duffel under the bed, gave one last glance at the bag of his belongings, and walked towards the waiting helicopter set to bring him to whatever peril may lie ahead.


	10. When You Think It Can't Get Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama, drama, drama...get ready for it because this chapter has it all and so much more to come! I would love to hear what you think of this chapter so please leave a comment with your reactions; it would really mean a lot! The feedback I've gotten on this story has been very humbling and so wonderful; you have no idea how much I appreciate the kind words readers have said about this story :)
> 
> School started today so updates will be a little slower, but bear with me, I hope it will be worth it!
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful beta jerseybelle for her quick work and wonderful feedback that helps my writing and chapters improve hugely!

*Danny's POV*

After the sixth meeting with the governor in as many days, Danny was frustrated and ready for the day to be over. As he got into the Camaro he noticed the blinking light on his phone that signaled he had a missed call and a voicemail. The missed call was from a blocked number which usually indicated it had come from Steve.

“Shit,” Danny yelled as he hit a few buttons to start the voicemail. Danny sunk deep into his seat as Steve’s voice washed over him; wrapping around Danny’s form just like Steve’s arms would if he was there.

“Hey, Danno, I got a few extra minutes before my transport leaves so I wanted to try and get a call in to you. I know that it’s the middle of the work day in Hawaii so you’re probably off chasing some bad guys, hopefully not in some silly meeting with the governor, and didn’t hear your phone. No big deal, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and miss you and will call or write as soon as I have a chance, but I’m not sure when that will be. Stay safe and keep an eye on Avery, I can tell she’s really struggling this time. My time’s up, babe, I gotta go. Love you.”

The phone clicked off and Steve’s voice was gone, replaced by the automated voice message asking him if he wanted to delete the message. Quickly pushing the button to save the voicemail, Danny put the car in drive and sped along Hawaii’s roads towards Five-0 headquarters, silently cursing the governor’s impeccably awful timing.

He made it to HQ in record time and briskly walked into the bullpen, immediately going towards his office and starting up his computer; if Steve was able to get a call in then there was a good chance he had time to send some e-mails. Danny’s suspicions were confirmed as he pulled up the inbox and saw the new e-mail from Steve.

Unable to control the smile that crept its way onto his face, Danny read through Steve’s words, shaking his head as he read about his impossible social standards before he abruptly stopped as he read Steve’s prediction of his behavior; they’ve been living together way too long. The smile came back quickly as Steve, in no uncertain terms, confirmed his guess of how long he stayed at Pearl before shipping out, and nodded along as Steve talked about Avery’s fears and nerves about driving since he left.

Thinking that there was a good chance that Steve was joking about the grenades, Danny tried to continue reading the e-mail, but found himself looking towards Steve’s office in apprehension more and more. Giving up his attempt to focus, because if there was anyone in his life who would think that storing live ordinance in a desk drawer was okay it would be Steve, he went into Steve’s office to double-check. After verifying that Steve was, in fact, joking about the grenades, he finished the e-mail laughing at Steve’s comment about the governor and the image of Steve super-gluing Avery’s window decal to her car; Danny really wouldn’t put it pass him.

Feeling a little closer to Steve, even if just for the few minutes it took for him to read the e-mail and picture Steve’s face and thoughts as he was typing, Danny felt ready to face the day, sort of. He was not, under any circumstances, ready to face another meeting with the governor.

“Hey New Boss-Man,” Kono yelled through the open door, “Get out here, we’ve caught a case.”

Danny met the cousins out in the bullpen, glaring at Kono, “What have I told you about calling me that, Kono.”

“That you don’t like it, but I thought it was just like how you used to get mad at Steve calling you Danno, and that eventually you’ll just give in.”

“Kono, would you like to be out of a job?”

“Geez, what’s up your ass today,” Chin interrupted as Danny glared at both of them.

“Obviously nothing,” Kono added, “that’s why he’s so uptight. How long’s the real boss-man been gone now? A week and a half? God, by the time he gets back Danny’s going to be insufferable.”

Danny grinded his teeth, trying to keep his temper under control, along with the blush that was threatening to creep up his neck towards his ears, “Kono, I’m begging you…”

Kono, recognizing ‘The Tone’ that Steve talked about so often and Danny continuously denied, shut up and Chin began to give them the low-down on the newest case.

*H50*  
A month later Danny was working through lunch, again, at headquarters searching through the bank records of a murder victim that had been found bludgeoned to death in his hotel room. Five-0 had been assured that it would be a quick open-and-shut case when the governor requested their assistance, but from the minute they stepped foot at the crime scene nothing seemed to add up.

The victim was a business exec from the mainland whose family was insisting his body be released for burial and with increasing pressure from the governor to close the case and move on, the team was working ‘round the clock to find evidence to support their growing assumption of foul play.

Danny was a very good detective, and any detective worth his salt knew that you always started with the money. So, here was Danny, on his lunch hour, sifting through hundreds of bank transactions, credit card receipts, and cash deposits in off-shore accounts looking for a smoking gun, or at the very least a red flag that could lead them somewhere.

Groaning in frustration, Danny leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes for a few minutes, hoping to rid his brain of the hundreds of flashing numbers that were making him cross-eyed. While trying to pull up the strength to soldier through the next set of financial records, he heard the door to his office open. Looking up he saw Grace standing by the entrance, nervously biting on her lower lip, eyes rimmed with red.

“Monkey, what’s going on,” Danny asked, concern immediately becoming the most prevalent emotion he was feeling as he walked over to where Grace was standing.

“I came by to see if you wanted to get some lunch with me,” Grace asked, but it was clear to Danny that this request didn’t have a lot to do with food.

“Sure, Gracie, we can get some lunch. What are you in the mood for?”

“How about Ailani’s Grill?”

Danny smiled, “Our favorite. I think that’s the perfect choice.”

Danny grabbed his car keys and ushered Grace out the door, his financial statements, bank records, and working lunch hour completely forgotten.

After ordering their usual meals at the sidewalk café a few streets away from HQ, Danny looked up at Grace waiting for her to start up the conversation she clearly wanted to have but was having trouble starting.

Sensing that he should play the adult in this scenario, Danny cleared his throat and tried to make conversation, “How is it being on school break? Glad to have your freedom?”

Grace laughed, “Yeah, school sucks.”

“Hey,” Danny admonished, but both he and Grace knew it meant nothing because his mouth was worse than hers even on a good day. “School is important.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy waking up at the crack of dawn, drudging my way through algebra II, world history, and AP Biology, and spending hours at the club after school playing tennis.”

“I can agree on the waking up early and sitting through long classes not being enjoyable, but I’m pretty sure after-school activities are supposed to be what makes those other things worth it.”

“I guess.” The waitress came by with their meals; Grace filled her mouth with fries and ketchup, purposely trying to prevent any further conversation on the matter. Danny let it drop, for now, but he wasn’t going to forget that Grace alluded to not liking tennis. Hell, Danny had been against the tennis lessons from the beginning (‘It’s not a sport if it can be played on a table’), and would be more than happy to pull Grace out of tennis lessons and put her into an activity she enjoyed much more, say softball.

Danny let the table fall quiet for a few moments, giving Grace some time to brace herself for whatever conversation she really wanted to have, and finally broke the ice, “Grace, what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.”

“I know that it can’t be nothing if you drove all the way over to Five-0 to have lunch with me.”

“What, a girl can’t have lunch with her Dad when she’s off for the summer and had some free time?”

“No, your presence at lunch, dinner, or high tea is always welcomed and much appreciated, but I know you, and I know that you had an ulterior motive to this lunch so spill.”

“I didn’t know where else to go, after it happened, and Steve’s been encouraging me to talk to you.”

“After what happened,” Danny questioned, but quickly backing off with the harsh tone when he saw Grace give him the ‘Please don’t act like a cop,’ look.

“Mom and Step-Stan, they had a fight.”

“What kind of fight?”

“A very loud fight. I just needed a break from all the yelling.”

“Has the yelling been happening a lot?”

Grace picked at her food, not looking Danny in the eye. Danny, for his part, was dumbstruck; he had no idea that this is what was going on in Rachel’s house. He knew that she and Stan didn’t have a very loving relationship and that it was built more on money and reputation than anything else, but he didn’t have the slightest clue that they fought so often and in plain sight for Grace to see and hear.

“Gracie, I had no idea this is what you were going through. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Grace shrugged, “I figured you would just get angry and not even listen to what I had to say. I love Mom and I know that Mom loves me, but it’s just hard sometimes when all I hear is fighting.”

“You are always more than welcome at our house, monkey, whenever you feel like it’s too much.”

“I know, but Avery doesn’t like it when I spend a lot of time there.”

“Avery is your sister; of course she likes it when you come over.”

“Danno, please be serious.”

“I’m being serious.”

“No, if you were being serious you would know that Avery and I haven’t been getting along for months, and it’s all my fault.”

“I know that you guys have been going through a rough patch lately, but I think it’s all in your head that she doesn’t like to be around you or hang out with you. Just a few weeks ago you guys were laughing and joking around about the Yankees.”

Grace cocked her eyebrow in his direction, giving him a look that screamed ‘Are you really that oblivious?’ “We had an unspoken truce before Steve left to act like a normal family, for him. Avery and I used to be best friends; we did everything together. Now, I don’t know. Now it just seems like I’m stuck being alone indefinitely and have fucked up our relationship to the point of no repair.”

“Language, Grace.”

“Sorry, but it’s true, Danno. I messed this up big time and I can’t fix it, no matter how much I want to.”

“Avery is your sister, your family, and family is always there for each other. We all make mistakes, do and say things we aren’t proud of, but we are always ready and able to forgive our family as long as they truly want and deserve forgiveness. Do you want to make things right with Avery?”

“Yeah, I really do, but I just don’t know how.” Danny heard the pleading and fear in Grace’s voice. She wanted nothing more than to make things right, but she truly thought she had ruined it beyond recognition, that there was no way in hell that Avery would ever forgive her.

Danny knew that this was not the case. He’s been watching Avery over the past few weeks since Steve left and he knows that she’s been having a rough go of it. She hasn’t been as animated as she usually is, and it’s been harder and harder to pull her out of the water or stop her from going on an extra run, a clear sign in McGarrett world that something isn’t right. Exercise, to them, has and always will be their preferred coping mechanism.

On numerous occasions Avery has hinted at the fact that she’s miserable at school, and that the only place she feels like she has friends is at swimming. Avery and Grace attend a small private school on the island, but most of Avery’s teammates on the swim team attend the local public high school. When Rachel told Grace that she would be attending Lunai Prep School, she immediately rushed over and begged Danny and Steve to let Avery go there too, so that they could be together. Once Avery jumped into the pleading it had been a lost cause; the girls weren’t going to be separated if they had anything to do about it, and they knew their fathers couldn’t say no to them asking to spend more time together. So, Danny and Steve sat down and went through all of their bank accounts and assets trying to see if they could find the money, somewhere, to send Avery to the swanky prep school. The answer came a few months before they’d have to pay the first tuition bill when Avery’s swim coach pulled them aside after practice one day. He said that Avery was exceptionally talented, and if she kept working, training and competing at the highest level, he believed she was going to be getting a lot of attention from universities wanting to offer her swimming scholarships. Steve and Danny were skeptical at first, but once the coach showed them the times that most kids years older than her were swimming, and they realized that Avery’s times were close and sometimes better than high school seniors, they began to believe a little more. It was a risk, dipping into Avery’s college fund to pay her high school tuition, but since Avery loved swimming so much they thought it wasn’t a far stretch to assume she wouldn’t be quitting anytime soon. Luckily, they were right, and she’s already getting interest from large universities on the mainland; Danny and Steve had made a good decision that day, or so they thought.

Avery had been receiving an excellent education and for the first year and a half everything seemed great, but as her relationship with Grace crumbled beneath them, Avery had become more and more closed off, began to hate school, and spent all of her free time at the pool or in the ocean with her friends from swimming.

Danny was nervous that Avery was pushing herself too hard, worried that she was going to get hurt if she kept it up, but she and her coach assured him that Avery was in the same shape she’s been in for years and shows no signs of weariness from working her body past its breaking point. Danny had tried, unsuccessfully, to reason with her coach, explaining that Avery takes after her father in their inhuman ability to push their bodies to a point way past normal exertion. After receiving the cold shoulder from Avery for three days after that discussion, Danny had backed off.

He was just happy that she still had friends that truly cared about her, and were helping her get through her father’s deployment. Evelyn and Avery had been swimming together since they were seven, and had become fast friends outside the pool. Over the years their friendship has become as strong as Grace and Avery’s, the three girls together all the time. Ian came into their tight group of friends a little later, when the girls were ten, but he’d fit right in and Steve and Danny had never been worried that he wouldn’t treat the girls right. Of course, Danny knows what Steve thinks about Ian now, his most recent e-mails discussing his worry that Ian likes Avery a whole lot more than just friends. Danny, unable to even begin to consider it in the realm of possibility that either girl may want to date, whole-heartedly disagreed with Steve, saying that Ian had known Avery since she was ten and thinks about her like a sister, nothing more.

But Steve had planted the seed, and now every time Ian dropped Avery off after swim practice or ate dinner over their house, Danny would find himself with his cop senses turned on, searching for clues as to what the boy’s motives were. And, unfortunately, Danny was beginning to notice some of the things Steve was talking about. Luckily, Danny could tell without a doubt that Avery was completely oblivious to the boy’s attempts at trying to get her to notice him in a different light. Danny was hoping Avery would continue to be this oblivious until she was at least thirty, which would help him sleep a lot better at night.

Above all, Danny noticed that Avery missed Grace; he’d caught her on more than one occasion looking through a photo album she and Danny had put together of all the wonderful memories she and Grace had. Danny noticed Avery watching movies or TV shows that she and Grace would watch together. He noticed the way she looked when he mentioned her name, a look of longing and pain and regret.

Avery didn’t want to push Grace out of her life, she wanted nothing more than to get her back, but the hurt ran deep, that much was obvious to him. Whatever had happened between the two girls was not something that could be solved in a single conversation.

“Grace, what happened between you and Avery?”

Grace shifted in her seat, picked at the soggy French fries left on her plate, ruined by the juice from the useless pickle the sandwich shop always gave with their sandwiches. Danny let her stew knowing that eventually she wouldn’t be able to handle the silence anymore; she was his daughter after all.

“The silent treatment is not going to make me open up any quicker, Danno,” she quipped with a small smile in his direction, “I’m just trying to think about the best way to word it.”

“Take your time, kiddo.”

“All the kids at the club, they teased me all the time. They told me I wasn’t a real society girl, that my mom could marry up all she wanted, but I’d always come from a blue-collar family. I tried to tell mom that I didn’t want to go there anymore; I tried to tell her that the kids weren’t nice and not people I wanted to hang out with, but she and Step-Stan insisted. They told me that these kids’ parents were important people and it was imperative that I make nice with them. It just, it got so hard, Danno. I tried, but after weeks and weeks of the teasing I broke. I told them how awful it was that Avery didn’t have a mom. They already looked down on her a little because they thought she was a scholarship student, but I made it worse, so much worse.”

Tears were falling silently from Grace’s eyes. There were no sobs, no hiccups of pain, just silent paths of salty water running down her cheeks. She was broken and Danny didn’t know how to start putting her back together again.

As he sat there watching her cry silently into her plate of soggy fries he couldn’t help but think about how he failed her. He missed all of this; he missed the obvious signs of pain and hurt in her eyes. He was so preoccupied with Steve’s deployment, Avery saying she hated school and spending too much time exercising to be healthy, and trying to run Five-0 on his own. He was so caught up in trying to keep his family together on a day-to-day basis that he didn’t take the time to notice that Grace was hurting too.

He always thought that Grace handled Steve being gone a little better than Avery. He also assumed it had to do with the fact that Grace didn’t live with them on a daily basis, and that the hole Steve left behind wasn’t as big. Danny was always glad about this fact because one, his daughter didn’t suffer as much, and two, she was always a wonderful support to Avery who found it almost unbearable to part with her father. Grace would pull Avery from her funk, place her back on her feet, and the two girls would continue on, working around the gaps Steve left in his wake.

Now, though, he realizes that he dropped the ball. He didn’t take the time to realize that Grace had dark circles under her eyes that indicated she wasn’t sleeping well. He didn’t stop and see that she usually stopped talking and redirected the conversation whenever tennis or the club was brought up. If he was really a good father he would have noticed that she slept in later and later on weekend mornings and that she was never excited to go back to Rachel’s house. He should have realized that her fight with Avery was tearing her apart inside.

But he didn’t.

No, instead he forced her to come to him when it had become too much. He had missed all the signs and all the indications that things weren’t going well. Danny felt like a failure as a father in this moment as he watched his little girl wipe at the mascara streaks under her eyes.

He pulled his chair over to sit right beside her and rubbed his hand down her back, “Oh monkey, I’m sure whatever you did can be fixed.”

“That’s what Steve said, but I just don’t see how. I exploited Avery’s biggest weakness in order to feel better about myself, to make friends with people who I didn’t even want to be friends with in the first place.”

Danny rubbed her back and whispered calming words into her ear, telling her it was going to be okay.

Grace continued, sobs beginning to rack her body, “I told them how sad it was that Avery didn’t have a mom, that her mom left her with Steve because she couldn’t handle taking care of her. After that, Danno, you have no idea what those kids said to her. They were awful, and I just sat by and did nothing. I didn’t try and defend her, stick up for her, or be there to help pick up the pieces. I left her all alone to weather this storm.”

Grace fell into hysterics, incapable of forming anymore coherent thoughts. Danny held on tight, rocking her in the center of the café, not even worrying about what the other restaurant patrons might think. His little girl was falling apart, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to help pick up the pieces.

*H50*  
Danny paid for their lunch and helped, partially dragging, Grace back to the car. He pulled out of the spot intent on bringing Grace back to Rachel’s when he realized that Grace probably wouldn’t feel much better going back there. So, his mind quickly turned to his own house, thinking that the beach and the ocean breeze would help her relax and feel a little better. But, he realized seeing Avery after admitting to such a wave of guilt probably wouldn’t help rectify the situation either. Resigned to bringing her to the only other place he could think of, he turned the car onto the main road towards Five-0’s headquarters.

He and Grace walked into the bullpen just as Chin and Kono were loading up surveillance video from a local bank.

“Hey Danny,” Kono greeted, growing silent as soon as her eyes fell on Grace huddled against Danny’s side.

“Hey guys, I’ll be out in a few minutes okay,” he gestured towards his office, Chin and Kono getting the message, turning their backs to Danny’s office so as to give the father-daughter pair a little privacy.

Danny, thankful for the perception of the wonder-cousins, guided Grace towards his office, set her down on the couch, and moved around to shut the blinds.

“Monkey, why don’t you rest here for a little while? I’m just going to be out in the bullpen working on some things, but it shouldn’t be too loud. I closed the blinds so that the god-awful Hawaiian sun won’t be too blinding.”

Grace smiled, “Danno, the Hawaiian sun is wonderful.”

Danny laughed, happy to know that Grace was still capable of making jokes, “To all of the insane people on this island maybe, but to those of us sane people who enjoy civility and professionalism think the Hawaiian sun is torture.”

“Tomato, tomahto, to each his own,” she replied with a wave of her hand.

“You are right about that one. Get some rest and then we can talk about where you want to sleep tonight.”

“Thanks, Danno.”

“No problem, monkey. Danno loves you.”

“Love you too.”

Danny smoothed down her hair one last time as he walked out of the office, closing the door behind him.

“What’s the tape showing us,” Danny asked Chin and Kono.

“Danny, what’s going on,” Chin asked.

“Nothing.” Danny attempted to sidestep the inevitable conversation Chin and Kono were going to force him to have. Unfortunately for Danny, neither cousin was willing to budge.

“Spill now, brah.”

“Look, I just need time to process alright. I don’t know how to handle all of this; I feel like my family is falling apart at the seams. Grace came over this afternoon and asked me to go to lunch. I could tell there was more to it, but I pushed it aside and went to lunch with my daughter. Finally, after some prodding, she opened up that Rachel and Stan have been fighting, a lot. She said she just needed time away, but I can tell that there’s more to it she’s not telling me. I know she’s hiding something but she’s scared. She alluded to not liking tennis, problems with her Mom’s expectations, and how much she misses Avery. Bringing up Avery is what reduced her to tears. I had no idea what to do; I hadn’t realized it had gotten this bad between the two of them. I have a feeling that Steve knew more about this than he was letting on, the way Grace said he told her to come to me. The problem is, if I know Steve, that Grace promised him not to say anything. Now I know he’s hiding stuff from me, and normally it wouldn’t be a big deal, you know, because he’s here and he would be watching out for the things he’s aware of and would make sure that our girls would be okay. But now, he’s not here and how am I supposed to make sure that Grace and Avery are safe and happy if I don’t know the whole story.”

“Well, whatever Steve knows it seems like he’s done a decent job convincing Grace to come talk to you. From what it sounds like these are things Gracie’s been feeling for a long time. Plus, Danny, you know that Steve would never put his family in harm’s way no matter what Grace made him promise. If whatever is going on with Grace is something you need to know now, and not when she comes to you, then he would have told you. He wouldn’t leave you to handle it on your own, blind.”

Danny was thankful for Chin’s wise and reassuring words, but he still couldn’t help the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach alerting him to the danger ahead. “You’re probably right, but I just wish there was something more I could do.”

“Maybe you could help Grace and Avery repair their relationship; right now that seems to be on both their minds, a lot,” Kono suggested.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure. I think Grace only told me part of the story or at least part of her feelings about the story. I can tell she’s hiding something. Plus, what I do know about the situation is not good, what Grace did was really awful and she feels terrible, but I don’t think this is something I can smooth over with a dad talk. This can only be fixed if Grace is willing to talk to Avery, explain her feelings, apologize, and let Avery vent or rant and open up as to why she felt so betrayed. I can’t fix this no matter how much I want to.”

Danny glanced back at his closed office thinking about the small, frightened girl inside. He felt alone and unprepared to handle whatever was coming his way.

Danny had been putting on a good front, in his opinion, and appeared as if he was handling Steve’s deployment well. But, on the inside, Danny was a mess. His family was being held together by a thread, the broken jagged edges of their once happy life were cutting them all as they tried to move the thread closer together. It was getting more and more difficult to get up in the morning and see Avery’s sullen face drag itself out to the car, not even having enough time for breakfast. It was getting harder and harder to see Grace and Avery fight over meaningless things like the last malasada or who should get to use the shower first.

Danny felt like he was in the middle of the ocean being dragged under by the strong current, and the more he fought and pushed to stay above the water, the more the current pulled him down. He was fighting a losing battle, putting on a show of strength; he wasn’t sure how many more curveballs like Grace’s home environment he could take. Danny was just one man, a tough man, don’t get him wrong, but he was just one man who wasn’t supposed to be the only one fighting this battle.

Steve’s absence seemed to grow in Danny’s chest, his body. The absence filled every empty or hollow point in Danny’s soul, creeping into his heart and mind, reminding him of the things he had lost, the things he could lose.

“It will all be okay, man,” Chin clapped his hand over Danny’s shoulder, pulling him from his thoughts, “Why doesn’t Grace come over to my place for the night. Malia will cook up something real nice, and tomorrow morning Kono, Grace, and I can go out to the North Shore and catch the early waves. I heard the surf’s supposed to be great the next few days. And you know she’ll love it because she hasn’t been out in a long time.”

Despite Danny’s best efforts, Grace had fallen in love with the ocean and surfing months after moving to Hawaii. In a wonderful act of father-selflessness, in Danny’s very humble opinion, he agreed to let Grace take surfing lessons from Kono, Chin, or Steve; he didn’t trust anyone else. Grace took to surfing like a fish to water, pun intended, and never looked back. But, Chin was right, Grace hadn’t spent nearly as much time on the water as she had in the past since she started high school. The after-school tennis practices and weekend luncheons at the club were preventing her from finding the time. Danny knew Grace missed surfing and messing around in the ocean and thought a night with Chin and Kono would do her some good.

“That’s a great idea. I’ll ask her when she wakes up. Thanks guys, I really appreciate it.”

“No worries, brah,” Kono smiled, “She’s ohana; we’d do anything for family.”

And Danny knew, without a doubt, that those words were the honest-to-god truth, and he was so thankful for it.

*H50*  
Just as Danny predicted, Grace jumped at the opportunity to spend some time in the waves with her favorite aunt and uncle. They stopped at the beach house for a few minutes so that Grace could grab a suit, some overnight clothes, and her board before she hopped into Kono’s car and they drove off towards Chin and Malia’s house.

Danny waved goodbye, a slight wave of calm settling over him, thinking that the smile on Grace’s face was at least a step in the right direction.

Danny locked his car and walked towards the front door, intent on starting dinner for him and Avery. However, he was greeted with the wonderful smell of stir fry the second he stepped over the threshold.

“What smells so good,” he yelled to the empty room as he toed off his shoes.

Avery’s head poked around the kitchen doorway, “Chicken and broccoli stir fry; I wanted Chinese but thought this might be a better alternative, less preservatives.”

“You’ve been drinking your father’s Kool Aid again, munchkin; the preservatives are what make Chinese food so wonderful.” Although, if Danny was really honest, he loved Avery’s chicken and broccoli stir fry a hundred times better than the take out version, but no need to inflate her ego any; McGarretts come with large enough egos already.

Avery laughed and moved back towards the stove to check on the chicken she was sautéing in the skillet.

“Hey, Aves.”

“Yeah, Danno.”

“I’m just going to go up and change. When do you think dinner will be ready?”

“Ten minutes, fifteen tops.”

“Alright, sounds good, I’ll be down soon.”

Danny made his way up the stairs and into his and Steve’s bedroom. Pausing at the threshold, taking a moment to look around and see all the things missing that should be there: swim trunks hanging off the doorknob to the en suite bathroom, boots sitting by the chair in the corner, a crime book sitting on the bedside table with a pair of glasses perched on top. It was a surprise to Danny, when he and Steve first got together, to realize that Steve actually spent most evenings after Avery went to bed reading crime novels or any other book someone may have recommended him.

Steve’s absence was felt in things that were missing, but also in the things that were present: empty water bottles on the windowsill and dresser, ties hooked over the closet door, and a journal sitting on the bedside table in place of a book. Steve was anal about cleanliness, and Danny noticed his own cleaning habits suffer the longer Steve wasn’t there to nag him about leaving trash on the counter or forgetting to recycle the water bottles he brought upstairs to drink throughout the night.

Sighing Danny stuck his finger in the knot at his throat, pulling the tie out of its hold on his windpipe and started to unbutton his dress shirt. He hears the doorbell ring downstairs and moves towards the door to run down and get it before he hears Avery yell upstairs saying she’ll answer it.

Danny said ‘thanks’ and went back to changing into his casual clothes when he hears a woman on the other side of the door.

His interest peaked, he stands close to the open bedroom door listening to Avery greet the woman.

“Hi, can I help you?”

“Yeah, I was hoping to talk to your dad for a few minutes.” Danny couldn’t recognize the woman’s voice at all so he wasn’t sure what she wanted to talk to him about.

Quickly pulling on a pair of jeans and throwing on a cotton tee shirt, Danny made his way down the stairs when he hears Avery respond, yelling upstairs, “Hey, Danno! Can you come down here; someone wants to talk to you.”

Danny hears Avery ask for the woman’s name just as he comes into view of the door, looking at the slight woman with brown hair and green eyes.

“Hi, what can I do for you?” Danny put his hand out to shake the woman’s hand.

The woman looked at him, scrutinizing him up and down, and stepped inside the threshold, “You aren’t her father. I would like to speak with her father.”

“I’m Danny, Avery’s dad. So, again, what can I do for you?” Danny was starting to get suspicious about this mysterious woman who had shown up on his doorstep; his cop-instinct making him stand on edge.

“No, I’m sorry; I must have the wrong address.”

“Who are you looking for?”

“Steve McGarrett.”

Danny’s spidey-senses were full-on tingling now; who asks for Avery’s father before actually saying they want to talk to Steve. Danny had unconsciously moved closer to Avery, blocking her from the woman in case she went nuts and leaped at them, and his voice had gained a slight edge in its tone. “Steve’s not here right now, but I’m sure that I can help you with anything you may need if it has to do with Avery. Why don’t we just start with who you are?”

“I’m Gwen.”


	11. Here's to Letting Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a new chapter of Family Ties! I'm so glad I was able to get this done and posted before tonight's new episode :) Can't wait for that! I love all the amazing feedback I've been getting on this story and really appreciate all of the wonderful thoughts! School is crazy, as usual, so I can't begin to say when I will be able to update again, but I try my very best to update every two weeks so that will be my goal!
> 
> I also want to encourage everyone to send me ideas for companion pieces. I'm starting to run out of ideas and I want to write pieces that you guys want to read! So, anybody who sends me an idea will see their idea reflected in one of the companion pieces!
> 
> Thanks, as always, to my wonderful beta jerseybelle

*Avery's POV*

Avery was a cop’s daughter through and through; she noticed the little things. When Danny moved almost imperceptibly closer, putting his body between her and the woman standing in their doorway, she knew something was up.

And when his shoulders stiffened and he sucked in a breath when the woman introduced herself, Avery was positive this was going to end badly.

“What the hell are you doing here now?” Danny asked in a threatening tone that made Avery hold back a shudder.

“I came to talk to Steve, but I’ve already told you that. Who the hell are you and what are you doing at his house?”

“I live here.”

“Steve has a roommate, why? It’s not like he needs one, his dad must have left him the house.”

“I’m not his roommate, but that’s really not important right now. Steve is not here and if he was I’m sure he would be saying the same thing I am right now: get the hell out of our house and do not come back.”

Avery’s head bounced back and forth between the two adults in front her like she was watching a perverse version of a tennis match. Avery had no idea who this woman was, but she was clearly someone from her parents’ past. 

It’s already been established that she’s her father’s daughter and one thing Steve McGarrett is not known for is his ability to be patient and in the dark; his daughter wasn’t much different.

“What’s going on, Danno? Who is this woman? How do you know her?”

Avery watched the woman’s eyes darken, the jade color going black in anger. “Are you telling me she has no idea who I am?”

“No, she doesn’t. You lost that privilege a long time ago.”

“She has a right to know. I can’t believe Steve kept this from her.”

“If you were here you could have helped him make that decision, but you weren’t so now you have to deal with it. And this is how we are going to handle it, okay, you ready? You are going to shut your mouth, turn around, walk out the door, and never darken our doorstep again. You have a pair coming back here after all these years, I’ll give you that, but it is not welcome, you are not welcome, and I’m really not ready to deal with you.”

“I’m not leaving my daughter with some strange man until I talk to Steve.”

Avery felt the air leave her chest, an imaginary blow pushing her back as she stumbled towards the staircase, sitting down on the bottom step, “You’re my mother?”

Avery gulped for air, taking deep breaths trying to push away the panic attack that was threatening to overcome her. She glanced up and saw Gwen move towards her, a smile on her face as she held out her hands, looking for a hug.

“Yes, baby, I am. I’ve missed you so much, and I’m sorry that your father never told you about me.”

Avery moved quickly out of her reach towards where Danny was standing by the couch, “He told me.”

“Told you what,” Gwen questioned, hurt forming in her eyes as she watched her daughter run away from her, Danny throwing his arms around Avery’s shoulders, pulling her close.

“He told me about you, when I asked. He said you were beautiful and funny, but that you weren’t ready to be a mom and you wanted what was best for me and that was for me to live here in Hawaii. Over the years I asked him why you weren’t here, why I didn’t have a mom like all the other kids, and you know what, he never said a bad thing about you. He said you did what you thought was best for me, and that was for me to stay in Hawaii because I loved it. And you know what, when I was older, I knew he was lying; I knew he wasn’t telling me the whole truth, and it sucked. It sucked because I knew you didn’t want to be here. It had nothing to do with doing the right thing or wanting me to be happy; you couldn’t handle being a mom so you left. You gave up on me. And you know what, for a long time I didn’t want to believe that. I cried and I hurt because I didn’t have a mom and I wanted one. But then I grew up and realized that I had dad and I had Danno and my sister Grace. I had a family without you and that was all I needed.”

“What do you mean you had a Danno and a sister?”

“I mean that I had another parent, Danno.” Avery gestured to Danny standing next to her, hatred pouring out of his being.

“I’m not quite sure I understand this correctly. Danno is your dad’s friend who has helped him raise you?”

“No, Gwen, I’m not Steve’s friend I’m his husband and I adopted Avery when she was ten. We’ve been a family for almost eleven years now. I have a daughter named Grace and she and Avery have been close friends and sisters since they were five years old. We have a family and we aren’t really looking to add anyone to it. So, as you can see, you are not welcome and we would really like to get on with our evening.”

“Are you trying to tell me that Steve is gay?”

“Bi, but that’s really just semantics. What matters is that we are in a committed relationship, together, and we do not have a place for you here.”

“This has got to be some twisted joke, right? Steve’s standing around a corner waiting to pop out and say ‘Gotcha’.”

“No,” Avery sneered at Gwen, upset that she would talk about her family that way. “It’s not a joke and Dad is not here so you can go.”

“Look, I demand to speak to Steve; I have that right as her mother.”

“You lost that right a long time ago, Gwen. You are no longer, legally, anything to Avery. Plus, like we’ve now said a hundred times, Steve’s not here.”

“Then where is he, huh? Where’s the guy who put me through hell while he was gone? The guy who put me in this position in the first place, huh? The guy who sent you to Hawaii and then moved there himself without telling me a damn thing.”

“Don’t you dare talk about Dad like that,” Avery yelled. Tears were streaming down her cheeks though she had no idea she had even been crying, “He’s the only person who’s been there for me my whole life. He never gave up on me, and you cannot stand here and talk about him like that.”

“You, little girl, should not talk to me that way, and you should not talk about things you are too young to understand.”

Not being able to control herself any longer, Avery pushed out of Danny’s grasp and ran up the stairs, knowing that if she stayed downstairs any longer she wouldn’t be responsible for her actions. Tears flowing freely now, she closed herself in her room, grabbing the stuffed seal she slept with every night. Glancing over at the picture of her and her Dad, she let the sobs rack her body; she made loud gulping noises as she tried to keep her breathing in check as her world came crashing down around her.

Avery spent her life feeling different. She was lean, lanky, but on the shorter side. Her body was sculpted perfectly for speed in the water, but she never felt as graceful on land. She grew up in Hawaii, spoke Hawaiian, and could even converse in Pidgin with all the locals, but she was still labeled an outsider; she was still a haole in appearance. For five years the only parent she knew was her grandfather; for five years her father was just a face she saw on a video or the handwriting in a letter. 

And after her life had been plagued with even more loss and death, she was raised by a single dad, and then a dad and his boyfriend, and finally a dad and his husband. She was never embarrassed, ashamed, or humiliated by her family. In fact, she was proud of her parents, proud of the jobs they did and the commitment they had made to protect and serve. She felt loved, cared for, and supported. She never hid, lied, or pretended she had a different family. Avery McGarrett was not a coward and she would never lie to escape persecution.

But that didn’t mean, in the dark, silent moments at night before she fell asleep that she didn’t think about how her life could have been, that she didn’t imagine what it would be like to have a mom and dad who love each other, what it would be like to not have to endure taunting and teasing and bullying. She thought about her mom, a lot. Why did she leave? What was she like? Why didn’t she love her?

But, now, she could get all her answers, she could ask all her questions, but she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to talk to the woman who gave up sixteen years ago. And saying she gave up is an understatement; she didn’t even fight, didn’t even try. She took one look at the small infant and decided it was too much, waited just long enough for her dad to come home.

Avery was mad, hurt, scared, confused. She was curious and skeptical; she wanted to know who this woman was. She wanted to know about the other half of her genes. Did her mom have the same problems with frizzy hair in the humidity? Did she get her nail-biting habit from her? How much of her personality was caused by this person, this woman who showed up after sixteen years of absence?

And Avery wanted to know, but at the same time she didn’t. She didn’t want someone coming in and ruining their family. She loved Danno and Grace and Dad. She loved the family they created, the family that’s been there for her through everything. Trying to take the time to get to know Gwen seemed like a slap in her family’s face; a disgrace to the love and sacrifice they’ve given her all these years. It seemed like she would be dishonoring her father who was off fighting for his country, protecting her from bad guys, if she spent time getting to know the woman he had never wanted to tell her about.

But, most of all, she couldn’t do that to Danno. She couldn’t bear to see the hurt in his eyes if she admitted to wanting to get to know her mom. Danno had held her the first time her father said he had to deploy again. Danno came in when she had nightmares about her dad dying and held her and rocked her until she fell back asleep. He stood guard at her bedside when she contracted a bad case of the chicken pox in elementary school, rubbing her sore back with lotion and applying ice packs so she could lay back long enough to fall asleep. He woke up every morning at four-thirty to drive her to swim practice, and then picked her up, again, in the afternoon after her second workout. He never missed a meet unless police business got in the way, he sat with her and poured over college brochures and had conversations about swimming and scholarships and what she wanted out of her life. Danno made dinner, did the laundry, cleaned the house, and did all of the things a parent is supposed to do for their family.

And beyond all the things that Danny did for her, she could never say thank you enough for the things he did for her father. Avery might have been young, when Danny and Steve first fell in love, but she was a Navy girl who was forced to grow up sooner than most. She knew her father was lonely, sad, and at a loss for what to do when he was stateside. He spent time with her building sandcastles, swimming in the water, and making sure she was happy and taken care of. But, he was at a total loss when it came to living a fulfilling life on his own. He was closed off, battle hardened. But then Danny showed up, busting down the walls and moving in to their lives with the subtlety of a freight train. He loved her father, showed him how to open up, and proved to him that he was loved and protected and supported. Danny promised to hold down the fort whenever he was deployed, stood up for him on numerous occasions, and made sure he remained safe in the crazy situations her father managed to find himself in.

And Avery couldn’t bear to hurt him, not now. Not after everything they’ve been through, not after finally coming to terms with her family, her life, and being okay with it. But she couldn’t help the little voice in the back of her head, that sounded a whole lot like Grace, tell her that if she had a real mom that maybe she wouldn’t be teased so much at school.

Because Avery McGarrett might be strong, tough, and confident, but nobody can be teased on a daily basis and be unaffected by it.

“I’m not going to force Avery to do anything she doesn’t want to do.” Danny’s voice drifted up the stairwell, but Gwen’s muffled reply was indiscernible over Avery’s constant sobs.

“No, you cannot talk to her.”

“No, for the thousandth time, Steve is NOT here.”

“It doesn’t really matter where he is.”

If Danno was reliable for anything, it was his loud voice carrying over many other distractions; it provided ample opportunity for eavesdropping over the years. Avery was just glad, at this moment, for his thunderous Jersey-nature because she could hear snippets of the conversation without having to move from her balled up position on her bed, the stuffed seal squashed in between her chest and her knees, arms wrapped around her legs.

“If you want to talk to her you are going to have to go through me first. So, I wouldn’t come back here unless you are willing to do all that is necessary to prove to me you aren’t going to hurt her.”

“Giving birth to someone doesn’t make you a parent, and it sure as hell doesn’t give you any proof that you won’t hurt them; you’ve already abandoned her for sixteen years and hurt her in more ways than I could even begin to explain.”

Danny’s words pulled around Avery like chains on a prisoner, holding her rooted to the spot, guilt creeping up inside her chest. Here was Danny fighting, no holds barred, against her mother because he didn’t want her to get hurt. And Avery was upstairs, avoiding the situation like a coward. Danny was protecting her and Avery was considering giving her mother the benefit of the doubt.

What kind of person did that make her?

A new wave of fresh tears welled in her eyes, sobs rolling through her body so hard she didn’t notice Danny enter the room until she felt the bed dip under his weight and his arms wrap around her.

“Shh, munchkin, it’s going to be okay. I’m here and I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Avery opened her mouth to reply, but all that came out was a muted cry, unable to form coherent words she just sat in Danny’s arms, head against his strong chest, letting his heartbeat lull her to sleep.

*H50*  
“Hey, sleepyhead. I ordered some pizza because I figured you’d be hungry when you woke up,” Danny greeted Avery as she stumbled into the kitchen a little disoriented. Waking up from a nap during the day always left her head fuzzy and her thoughts incoherent.

“Sounds good, sorry dinner burned.”

Danny waved his hand in the universal sign of ‘don’t worry about it’ and put two slices of pineapple pizza on a plate and slid it towards her seat at the kitchen island.

“You actually ordered pineapple pizza? Of your own volition?”

“Yes I did. I know that you, unlike your father, are completely willing to eat traditional, delicious pizza, but I also know that you still favor this Hawaiian abomination.”

“Thanks, Danno.”

He didn’t respond, just gripped her shoulder and sat down next to her, eating his own piece of pizza. They both sat in silence, a rarity in their house, and mulled over the last few hours.

“What did she want?”

Avery knew she didn’t have to expand, Danno would know exactly what she was talking about. “To get to know you.”

“And see Dad, that’s what she said first.”

“Yeah, but after you left she said that she only wanted to talk to Dad about being able to get to know you and spend time with you.”

“Sure, it’s not like she didn’t have sixteen years to get to know me.”

Danny rubbed sauce off his chin with his napkin and turned in his seat towards her, pulling her seat around to face him, “Listen, munchkin. She came here to see you; she said that she wants to make up for all the years she wasn’t here.”

“It’s too little too late, I’m not interested.”

“And you don’t have to be. If you don’t want to see her again then you don’t have to. Where we go from here is entirely your call.”

“How can I forgive her after what she did? How can I want to get to know her after what she did?”

Avery was lost, confused; she didn’t know what she should be feeling about this whole situation. Here was Danny, the loving father who has been there for her since she was five years old holding on to her, comforting her and telling her it was all up to her. And what she thought she wanted was to get to know the person who abandoned her, what did that say about her relationship with Danny?

“Nobody would blame you if you did want to get to know her, Avery. She’s your mother; she’s a part of you, a part of you that you never got to know, and it’s only natural to be curious. Being curious about her does not mean that you love me any less.”

“Since when did you get so perceptive?”

Danny laughed as he cleared their plates and walked over to the sink, “I’m a detective and a damn good one at that. Plus, you and your father are so much alike it’s pretty scary; you both have the same tells. He plays with his food when he’s worried about upsetting me, too. It’s a very strange habit, and I’m hoping it just has to do with the fact that my love of food has always been a constant joke in this house and not because the two of you view me as food.”

It was Avery’s turn to smile, laugh, and relax a little. Here was Danny saying it was okay to be interested and curious about the other half of her genetic makeup. “I definitely do not look at you as something to eat, Danno. Dad might though.”

“That dirty insinuation is not welcome here, young lady. I highly suggest you refrain from saying things like that ever again.”

“What are you talking about, I just said Dad might want to eat you, where’s your mind going?”

“Upstairs, homework, go far away before I have a heart attack.”

“But, Danno, it’s summer, I don’t have any homework.”

“Then go write a book or create the next Mona Lisa. Just do something that takes you out of this kitchen.”

“Love you, Danno.” And she meant it. She loved the fact that Danny knew she wasn’t even close to done processing everything that happened, but that she needed time. He gave her an out. He joked and acted like he did on any other day, pretending this day wasn’t any different from all the others.

He told her, in no uncertain terms, that it was okay for her to be curious about her mom and that did not mean she felt any differently about him.

With that weight slightly removed from her shoulders, Avery grabbed her running shoes and told Danny she was heading out for a run; she was a McGarrett after all.

*H50*  
Over the next week Gwen showed up everywhere. She parked outside the local Y, waiting for Avery to come out from practice, showed up at Avery’s favorite surfing spot on the North Shore, and knocked on their front door every night right before dinner, inviting Avery out.

Each time Gwen tried to approach her, suggest they talk, invite her to something, Avery turned her down. She wasn’t quite sure why she did it, she did want to get some answers, but before her mind could take a second and think her mouth was blurting out a scathing remark and shutting the door in her face.

“Maybe you just want to make her suffer a little like she made you suffer,” Evelyn suggested as her, Avery, and Ian were hanging out at Kamekona’s shave ice stand one afternoon after practice.

This type of problem was something she used to turn to Grace for, but with their relationship akin to warring countries, she instead sought out solace from her two closest friends. 

“That makes me sound like a terrible person.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Ian jumped in, “It makes you sound human, which you are even though sometimes you forget that.”

Avery cocked an eyebrow at him, challenging him to keep going even though he was digging himself an early grave. Luckily for him, Ian was smart and knew all of Avery’s looks and smartly shut his mouth.

“Look, Aves, this woman abandoned you for sixteen years; she’s the reason you get teased at school, and why you and Grace are no longer talking. You can’t just forgive that in a heartbeat, pretend it never happened, and pick up from the beginning. It will take time, and if your mother really wants to get to know you, she will wait as long as you need.”

“You might be right, Ian, but I still don’t know why I can’t seem to agree to spend time together. I mean, I want to. I have so many questions that I want answers too, so many things I want to know. But if I keep turning her down then I will never get those answers.”

“What does Danno say?”

“That I should give it time.”

“Then maybe you should listen to him and just wait it out,” Ian grabbed her hand from across the table and squeezed, looking directly into her eyes, “And while you wait we will be here for you."

“Yup, and get you drunk,” Evelyn announced as she stood up and threw away her empty shave ice container, “I got an invite to this party that one of the football players is throwing at his house; it’s supposed to be awesome. It’s tonight, we are going and you can’t fight me on this even if you wanted. I need my best friend there with me.”

“No, Evie, I wasn’t suggesting we go get drunk at some jock party.”

“Let’s do it,” Avery responded at the exact same time as Ian. He looked over at her, mouth slightly agape, eyes wide in shock.

“Since when do you drink?”

Avery looked over at him and smiled. “I don’t, but my estranged mother showing up after sixteen years seems like a good enough time as any to start.”

Evelyn jumped up and down and pulled Avery up out of her seat, “Wonderful. Now we have to go back to your house and get you stuff to wear tonight. Then we go to my house to get ready because my parents are out of town and will have no idea. You can just tell Danno you are sleeping over my house tonight. Ian we will meet at your house since you live closest to the party.”

“I am not partaking in this.”

“Why not? You scared the senior boys will give you some competition?” Evelyn teased.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Avery questioned as she unlocked her car so they could all get in. She looked between Evelyn who was shaking in silent laughter and Ian who had a red blush forming up the back of his tanned neck.

“It means nothing, okay,” Ian said gruffly, pulling open the car door a little harder than was necessary, “I’m coming. I’ll see you guys at ten.”

“Wonderful, now let’s go get clothes to make Avery look like a bombshell.”

Avery laughed, “I doubt I own anything like that, it’s not really my thing.”

“We are all very much aware that you forget how hot you are,” Evelyn admonished, “But tonight we are going to change that, at least for a few hours, a couple beers, and maybe an older guy or two.”

“What the hell am I getting myself into?”

“A good time that you will hopefully never remember.”

“My parents are cops, you know that, right? You know that they tell me gruesome stories about drinking and driving and drugs.”

“And are you aware that you’re a teenager who just got blindsided by her absentee mother, whose father is off fighting in the war, and needs the opportunity to let go for a little while. Just live a little, Avery, you’ll be better for it.”

“This is going to end badly.”

“You’ve got us to back you up, don’t worry.”

Avery wasn’t sure whether or not to trust Evie, but right now letting go sounded like exactly what the doctor ordered.

*H50*  
“Look, Evie, maybe this wasn’t a great idea.” Avery entered the house party a few steps behind Evelyn, warily looking around at the scene in front of her. A group had gathered around a long table in the center of the room where they had set up two sets of solo cups in the shape of a pyramid on either end of the table. There were couples on the couch making out like there wasn’t a huge group of people around them, and two guys were doing keg stands in the corner where a makeshift bar was set up on a coffee table.

“Aves, you look hot, okay. At least five guys have already looked this way, and we’ve barely gotten in the door. Just chill out, have a drink and partake in some harmless fun.”

Avery was nervous. She wasn’t a goody-two shoes or anything, she just never felt the need to openly defy her parents. They were pretty chill, overall, and pissing off two guys with guns and handcuffs never seemed very prudent. Evelyn had somehow managed to convince her to wear the shortest pair of shorts she owned which she matched with a green and pink halter top, wedge heels completing the look. Evelyn had managed to tame Avery’s chlorine-destroyed hair with massive amounts of mousse and hairspray, making it fall down her shoulders in soft waves. Avery had always been pretty confident in her body; years of swimming kept her trim and thin. But she never felt the need to doll herself up and parade around with barely-there clothing.

“Hey, baby, did it hurt,” a drunken guy slurred as he slung his arm around Avery’s shoulders. He reeked of booze and tobacco, a solo cup in his hand sloshing foam onto her shoulder.

“Did what hurt?”

“When you fell from heaven.”

“Oh god, get a life Brenton,” Evie yelled over the music and pulled Avery towards the keg, Ian following behind them.

Ian grabbed a hold of Avery’s shoulder, grabbing her attention, “Hey, you say the word and we’re gone, promise.”

The dimpled-smile he gave her put Avery immediately at ease as she took the cup of beer Evie offered her, “Thanks, Ian. But I want to be here.”

“Okay, well bottoms up,” and he chugged half of his own cup in one gulp, “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right!”

“Hear, hear,” yelled Evie as she followed, downing her own cup in a few swigs. “To living and forgetting!”

Suddenly self-conscious about her inexperience with alcohol, Avery sipped at the bitter liquid, grimacing as the first drop entered her mouth.

“It takes some getting used to,” Ian’s tall frame was leaning down towards her ear so she could hear him over the noise-level of the party.

With his reassuring smile, she downed the cup and handed it over to Evelyn for a refill. “To letting go.”

Ian raised his own cup in silent agreement, his twinkling eyes staring back at her through the smoky haze of the party.

*H50*  
“No, no,” Avery slurred as the guy from earlier, Brenton, pushed his tongue in her mouth, “I really don’t want…stop.”

Her arms felt like jello, barely able to produce enough force to budge the burly senior let alone push him away. Her mind was foggy, barely registering the eerie silence of the room. Wasn’t there music playing before? She couldn’t remember leaving the main party area and coming upstairs, but she could tell that she was laying on a bed.

Large hands groped uncoordinatedly down her body, reaching under the fabric of her halter top. The heat of his sweaty hands and the sticky feeling they left behind from the beer he had spilt earlier seemed to snap some sense into her muddled brain, realizing that she was about to get into a situation that wouldn’t be too pleasant.

Sobering slightly as the hands fingered at the edge of her bra, she pushed harder, the muscles she thought had melted from her body coming back long enough to shove him off of her, “Get off, I don’t want to do that.”

“C’mon baby, I won’t hurt you.”

“No! Get away from me.” still disoriented, Avery stumbled with the weight of her push, Brenton grabbing her again before she fell to the floor.

“No, no, you know you want it. You’ve been looking at me all night.”

Her father’s voice, a voice that had warned her hundreds of times before she went out at night, yelled in her mind: ‘If all else fails, sweet pea, kick him in the groin.’

The messy hands of a drunk, horny boy pawed at her, trying to man-handle her back onto the bed. Thinking this would be the last opportunity before his weight would prevent her from moving, she bent her knee and hit him, as hard as she could, right in the balls. He cried in agony, curling in the fetal position, as she opened the door and ran downstairs. 

Tears flowing down her cheeks, her brain firing incoherently from the alcohol, she barely registered two strong, familiar arms wrapping around her as she managed to make it down the stairs without falling. The terror of the moment before, the adrenaline still pumping in her system, she flung out at the stranger pair of arms, whacking the culprit with an elbow to the nose, well an attempt at the nose, in her alcohol-induced stupor she missed and hit his chin instead.

“Oh, Avery, what the hell,” Ian’s familiar voice said as he pulled her towards the front door, “What happened to you? Are you okay?”

Her brain finally recognized the familiar voice and body as one of her closest friends, it shut off completely, dissolving Avery into a heap of tears.

“Shh, it’s going to be okay,” Ian pulled her onto the steps of the front porch, rubbing circles on her back, “I think we should call Danno, Avery, you don’t look too good.”

“No! Ian, you can’t call Danno; he’ll kill me. My parents are cool, but they have a zero-tolerance drinking and drugs policy.”

“Okay, but something happened and I can’t exactly drive you home, and Evie is plastered to some guy from the baseball team.”

“Call Grace.”

“Grace? I thought you two were fighting.”

“Just call her, Ian.”

“Okay, give me a minute.” Avery watched Ian fumble with his phone and call Grace. After a few short exchanges he hung up, pulling her back into his arms. “She said she’ll be here in ten minutes. She also said to make sure you don’t go anywhere. So, while we wait, you want to tell me what happened?”

The reassuring tone of his voice, the calming hand on her back lulled Avery into a relaxed pose and loosened her tongue, “Some guy was trying to get some and I said no but he wouldn’t stop. So, I kneed him in the balls and ran away.”

Avery would have sworn that she felt Ian’s arms grip her a little tighter and his voice become a little harder, but it was probably just the alcohol making her imagine things.

“You know for the first time, ever, I’m really glad your father is a Navy SEAL.”

Avery couldn’t help the laugh that escaped, “Yeah, he can be embarrassing sometimes, but moments like this make me glad he taught me self-defense too.”

They sat in silence, not feeling awkward wrapped in each other’s arms even though they probably should be, until Grace’s beamer pulled into the driveway. Avery, who had sobered up a little, was still drunk off her ass so she wobbled to her feet before Grace ran over and pulled one of Avery’s arms over her shoulder and helped her towards the car.

“I thought you didn’t drink,” Grace asked, gently nudging her into the front seat.

“I didn’t until today.”

“What made tonight so special?”

“I think I’m going to be sick.” The up-and-down motion of standing and sitting lurched Avery’s stomach, the sting of bile rising up her throat.

“Here, here,” Grace helped her up and towards the front lawn where Avery emptied the contents of her stomach into a shrub, Grace holding back her hair. Ian’s hand appeared over her shoulder with a bottle of water after she finished dry-heaving, her stomach protesting the alcohol ingestion long after emptying her entire stomach.

Avery took a swig of the water and swished around before spitting it back out onto the grass. The sour taste of vomit was still present in her mouth, but at least it was a little more bearable. 

“Thanks, Ian.”

“How much did you have,” Grace questioned after helping Avery back up to her feet and into the car.

“I don’t know, lost count,” she responded, eyes closed as her head spun.

“Great, tomorrow morning’s going to be fun for you.”

“Danno’s going to kill me.”

“Probably, but maybe we can sneak you inside without him noticing.”

“I’m supposed to be sleeping over Evie’s house.”

“I can take you back there.”

“Um, no because I think Evie is going to be plenty occupied the rest of the night,” Ian interjected as he climbed in the backseat, “Do you think you could give me a lift home too?”

“Sure, just remember this when I need a drunk taxi.”

Ian saluted and settled back, leaning against the headrest of the backseat. Grace rolled her eyes and pulled away from the party.

“You really need better wingmen if they’re going to leave you high and dry to fend for yourself the first time you go out drinking,” Grace said, glancing over at Avery’s groaning form, each turn of the car twisting her already empty stomach into knots.

“Hey, I resent that,” Ian yelled from the back, “I called and got her a ride didn’t I?”

“Fine, fine, you can be her wingman again, but Evie is so out of the question, leaving you to go fuck some guy.”

“Don’t talk about her that way,” Avery sneered “She’s been a better friend then some people I know.”

“I’m going to let that go because, one, I deserved that, and two, you are drunk off your ass and not thinking straight.”

“She was also molested by some guy she ended up kneeing in the balls.”

Grace looked at her wide-eyed, “You might want to leave that part out of the post-party debrief if Danno ever finds out you spent the night drinking at a house party.”

Avery grunted from her seat. Grace dropped Ian off a few minutes later, promising him at least five times that she will make sure Avery calls him in the morning so he knows she’s okay.

Directing the car back into traffic, Grace looked over at Avery’s quiet form, “That guy’s got it bad for you; I don’t see how you don’t see it.”

“Ian’s just a friend.”

“Honey, he wants you in ways that are so much more than friends.”

Avery smiled, “He’s got a hell of a body.”

Grace laughed, “Yeah, he sure does.”

Both girls looked at each other, the lightness and ease of their past relationship washing over them for a minute before Avery seemed to remember what had happened and turned to look out the window.

“So, what prompted the rebellious behavior?”

“My mom came back.” Avery hadn’t meant to tell anyone but Evie and Ian about Gwen’s return, but the alcohol had lowered her inhibitions and before she realized it she was spilling her biggest secret to the one person in this world who had already used it against her.

“Wow, after all these years?”

“Yup, says she wants to get to know me, make up for lost time.”

“So, are you going to, you know, see her?”

Avery shrugged, “I don’t know, I want to but I don’t want to hurt Danno or Dad and make them think they weren’t enough.”

“They wouldn’t think that. They love you so much, Avery.”

Avery didn’t say anything as their house came into view. Grace parked the car in her usual spot and came over to the passenger seat to help Avery towards the door.

“Danno’s car is here,” Avery said as she walked crookedly towards the front door.

“Uh huh, just be quiet and hopefully we won’t wake him.”

“What time is it?”

“After one, just hold on,” Grace fumbled with her key ring as she tried to open the door and hold onto a wavering Avery.

“C’mon, in you go.”

Avery was pliable jelly, the beer making her listen to whatever Grace said. She guided her up the stairs, warning her to stay quiet and skip the creaking step halfway up the staircase. They made it to Avery’s room without hearing anything coming from the master bedroom, so Grace helped Avery change into her pajamas and get in bed.

“Grace?”

“Yeah,” she replied as she was about to leave the room.

“Stay the night? Maybe we can hang out and watch movies tomorrow, just nothing loud.”

Grace laughed, “Sure, I know the perfect food for hangovers.”


	12. Things Are Looking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the end of the longest A/N known to man, thanks to my beta, jerseybelle, for the lightning fast beta read! 
> 
> I know it's been a long time since I updated *hangs head in shame.* And I'm going to use the standard real life got in the way excuse, which is lame, but legitimately the truth this time. Grad school has been kicking my ass from here to the moon and then back again. But, I really, really hope this chapter was worth the wait! The response and outpouring of support for this story and this verse in general has been amazing and so very much appreciated so I thank you all for that!
> 
> Please keep the ideas for companion pieces coming! I promise to write a chapter for each and every one. And, as an added incentive, I will continue to write chapters of "The McGarrettWilliams Family Through the Years" until I've written a chapter for every single idea submitted . That means that the more ideas I get the more chapters of that story you get! And since I am willing to extend writing it past the end of this story, I will also write chapters based on scenes that would have happened prior to If You Ever Need Me or after Family Ties. So keep the ideas coming!
> 
> And last bit of annoying author's note information, I have recently created a tumblr blog that is mostly H50 related, but it's got some other things on there as well. If enough people are interested (i.e. they check it out/follow it/let me know they read it) I will be willing to post sneak peeks of this story and the companion story as I'm writing them for the interim between posting. I will also give updates on what's going. Also, I have an ask feature opened for you to give fic suggestions you'd love to see. I'm open to just about anything (I will let you know if I'm not comfortable) and will promise to write a fic for each idea (keeping in mind this isn't going to be an instant turnaround, especially if you want a quality fic). I want to challenge myself and this was an idea I thought of! So, yeah, keep that it mind.

*Grace's POV*

When the shrill sound of her cell phone pulled her out of the best sleep she’d had in months, Grace was a little disoriented. She wasn’t in her big, queen size bed at her mom’s house. No, she was in her twin size bed at Danno and Steve’s house, which was weird since it wasn’t Danno’s weekend.

The second ring of the phone snapped Grace out of her trance as she looked at the caller ID: her mom. Sitting back against the headboard, attempting to wake herself up enough to formulate intelligent responses, she answered, “Hi Mom.”

“Where the hell are you,” Rachel yelled over the phone line. “I walked into your room this morning to tell you we were having brunch with the Martins at the club and you weren’t there. I’ve been calling every five minutes for over an hour.”

Grace glanced at her phone screen to see that she not only had fifteen missed calls from her mom but also seven unread text messages. How she managed to sleep through all of that noise was lost on her. “Mom, I’m sorry I didn’t leave a note. I’m at Danno’s house, I’m fine.”

“It’s not your father’s weekend.”

“So, just because it’s not his weekend I can’t come over and spend time with him and Avery? Avery asked me to hang out today so I thought it would be easier to spend the night here.” Even though her mom couldn’t see it, Grace’s arms were moving a mile a minute. Those Williams genes sure were predictable.

“You need to be with your family this weekend. You are going to get up, get dressed in an outfit that’s appropriate for the club, and get your grounded-self over here within the next thirty minutes.”

“But, Mom, Danno and Avery are my family, too,” Grace whined. Sure, she’s sixteen years old and probably way past the whining stage, but she really didn’t want to spend another Sunday morning at the club eating brunch with one of Step-Stan’s potential clients. No matter what her mom did, Grace was spending today with Avery, even if it meant being grounded for the rest of the summer. She was not going to turn down the possibility of finally fixing her relationship with her sister.

“Don’t you dare back-talk me, Grace. You have no idea how disappointed I am in you. I expect you to be a responsible young woman, not some rebellious slacker who stays out all night and surfs all day.”

“Mom, I’m sixteen and the last thing I want to do is watch you and Step-Stan kiss ass for a few hours.”

“You watch your mouth with me, Grace. I’m calling your father and making sure you come straight home.”

“No, Mom, don’t call Danno.”

“Why not? Maybe because he had no idea that you were even there until I called this morning in a panic looking for you?”

“Uh.” Oh shit, she was so busted. Not only was her Mom upset that she was making them late for some ridiculous business meeting, Danno was going to be pissed beyond belief that she snuck out without telling anyone where she was going. And Danno being in a pissed off mood when he learned that the whole reason this shit went down in the first place was because Avery had been out drinking made the prospect of spending the next few hours at the club a little more enticing then Grace wanted to admit.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Your father is waiting for you downstairs. I suggest going down now and then coming straight home. I better see you in the next thirty minutes or there will be hell to pay.”

Her mom didn’t even say goodbye before hanging up the phone. Sighing, Grace threw the phone on her bedside table as she flopped back into her pillows, running a hand over her face. Last night she went to bed thinking today was going to be a good day, the day she finally apologized to Avery and started fixing their relationship. Grace pictured bonding over water bottles, ibuprofen, and greasy food as Avery recovered from her long night of drinking. Maybe it was a little naïve of her to think they would actually be able to do that; the minute Danno learned, and let’s face it there would be no way they’d be able to keep this from him, what Avery had been doing he’d have them up and doing something mind-numbingly awful. But at least they could bond over punishment together.

Deciding that she was in trouble regardless of when she showed up at home, she decided to prolong the inevitable and pulled out the laptop she kept at the house. Opening up her inbox she quickly typed out an e-mail to Steve. If there was any moment she wished he was here, this would be it. Sure, Steve would be no more understanding than Danno about the drinking. Yes, he was ridiculously overprotective when it came to his girls, giving any boy that came within a hundred feet of them the G.I. Joe thousand yard stare, but he was the most level-headed of her four parents. She knows Danno would disagree with her assessment, citing the numerous times he went into a suspect’s location without backup or consideration of the consequences. And Grace knew Steve had a penchant for getting himself into trouble because he leaped before he thought. But, for some reason, when it came to her and Avery, Steve was calm and collected. He was the parent who knew how to keep his cool under pressure, evaluate all the intel, and make an informed decision. 

He was also the best listener. He wasn’t as hot-headed as Danno who would blow-up before you finished, ranting with hand gestures and all; he wasn’t as spiteful as her Mom who would reply with scathing remarks if you did something to upset her; and he was definitely nothing like Step-Stan who would tell her what a disgrace she was whenever she stepped even a toe out of line. No, Steve wasn’t any of those things, he was just Steve. Steve never jumped to conclusions, and he never said a hurtful word on purpose. Steve was also the best at calming Danno down, and once Danno was calmed down the two of them made the best parenting pair a girl could ask her. 

Not that she had them as parents all that often.

Hey, Steve!

It’s been awhile since you last wrote. I know that you’re busy and probably in the middle of some desert or jungle or mountain range playing Rambo, but I miss you. I really wish you were here. My mom is really angry with me because I spent the night at your house without telling anyone. And I know that that was wrong and if you were here you wouldn’t be happy with me, but Avery wants to spend the day together today. I think we are finally moving past our problems and are beginning to work things out!

She’s my sister and I’ve missed her these past few months. I told you this before you left and I know you understand how important it is for me to spend today with her. But Mom is so mad. She said I have to go to some stupid business meeting/breakfast thingy at the club. And she called Danno who didn’t know I was here.

God, Steve, I need you here. You are the only person who knows how to calm Danno down enough for him to be his rational self for a moment. Right now I need you both. I need my parents to tell me things are going to be okay. I talked to Danno, you know, about some of the things that have been upsetting me, but I couldn’t tell him everything. I know you told me I shouldn’t be scared, but I am. I don’t want Danno to think that I don’t love Mom, but I don’t want to live there anymore, Steve. I want to live with you and Danno and Avery and be in a place that I can just be myself. I want to be part of a family that loves each other, not uses each other as bargaining chips for business accounts.

So, yeah I probably shouldn’t send this because it will just make you worry but I need your advice, even if it’s just via e-mail.

I love you, Dad, please stay safe,

Gracie

Logging off, Grace threw the covers off and pulled a t-shirt on over the tank she had worn to sleep; no reason upsetting Danno anymore by coming downstairs half-clothed. Deciding it was time to face the music, she padded down the stairs to the kitchen where she found her father sitting with a cup of coffee and the newspaper, a scowl on his face.

“Morning,” Grace greeted.

Danny looked up at her over the edge of the paper, his eyes narrowing in her direction, watching as she walked towards the refrigerator to grab a glass of juice. Grace looked over at him as he made a disgruntled snort and then looked back down at his paper.

“So, you aren’t going to lecture me?” Grace asked with a slightly hopeful tone, even if it was a bit naïve of her to think she would be getting away without a lecture.

“I’m just trying to figure out the best way to start.”

“Ah.” She sat down next to him at the kitchen island, sipping her juice as they waited in an awkward silence, tension building up with each passing moment.

“I just cannot believe that you left your Mom’s house without telling anyone where you were going. Just, ugh, Gracie you know better than that. Do you have any idea how I felt when your Mom called saying she had no idea where you were? Huh, because let me tell you it was not a welcomed feeling. And then, above all else, to find out that you were here and didn’t tell me. I mean, c’mon Grace, why didn’t you just ask to spend the night? I would never say no to you wanting to spend time here.”

Danny wasn’t yelling, just talking in his ‘I’m very disappointed in you and I don’t recognize the girl sitting in front of me’ tone, which was much harder to handle than the yelling. Grace was used to yelling and anger, but disappointment was always the hardest, especially coming from Danno.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Grace whispered, head rightfully hanging in shame.

“Look, kid, sorry is not going to cut it this time. You are sixteen and your mother and I expect a great deal more responsibility from you than we are getting at the moment.”

“I don’t know what else to say, Danno.”

“How about you start with why you came over here in the first place.”

Grace faltered. It was too early in the morning to think on her feet and come up with an excuse as to why she was there; the last thing she wanted to do was push her slowing mending relationship with Avery back by ratting her out.

“I, um…I…”

“C’mon, Grace, spit it out, why did you come over without asking? Why did you leave without telling anyone where you were going?”

“Some friends called, needed a ride home and this house was closer to where I dropped them off; I just wanted to crash, I didn’t realize it would be such a big deal.”

“Some friends?”

Crap, Grace was not doing a good enough job with this whole lying thing. Damn cop instincts.

“Yup, some friends.”

“Which friends?”

“Um, Nicola and Brian.”

“Hmm, I’ve never heard you talk about those friends before, they new?”

“Last few weeks, they are recent transfers to school.”

“You know, lying to me isn’t going to make matters any better for yourself.”

“I’m not lying.” Grace was trying to put on her biggest, most innocent looking doe-eyed smile.

“Well, I do believe that you left to drive someone home who couldn’t drive herself, however, I don’t think Nicola and Brian were the ones needing a ride. I do believe that the inebriated individual, who is probably in even more trouble than you this morning, is asleep right upstairs.”

Dammit, Avery was never going to forgive Grace now.

“Stop it with the look. I knew what happened last night; I just hadn’t realized it was you that brought Avery home. You can tell your sister you covered for her, it was Evie’s mom who spoiled it.”

Grace’s shoulders visibly relaxed as she swirled the pineapple juice around in her glass, “Danno, I know that I should have told someone, but Avery actually called me to help her out and I didn’t want to ruin my chance at making things right by ratting her out.”

“Look, monkey, I can understand that, I do. I know how badly you want to fix things with your sister, and I’m glad it seems to be moving in the right direction, trust me. The thought of no longer having two surly teenagers walking around my house ignoring each other brightens my day like you wouldn’t believe. But, no matter what’s going on, I need to know where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing. I’m still the parent and until you are eighteen and moving away to college I need to know that you are safe.”

“Are you saying that when I go to college you won’t be calling me every weekend to make sure I’m in my dorm room studying and not at some frat party?”

Danny laughed, pulling Grace into a hug, “Well, Super SEAL will probably be calling; I, on the other hand, will be completely rational and let you live your life.”

“Riiiight, I forgot that you were the rational one in this house.”

“Don’t you forget it.”

“Um, Danno.” Grace looked up at him through her eyelashes, ashamed at the big fuss she made this morning, worrying Steve for nothing with a frantic e-mail.

“Yeah?”

“I may have sent Steve a rather worry-inducing e-mail this morning.”

“You did, did you? What did this e-mail entail exactly?”

“Just talked about this morning, about how upset I’ve been with Mom and Step-Stan and their business crap. I am really sorry, I know that we aren’t supposed to worry him and make sure that he stays safe and all that. I just didn’t know what to do, and he’s always been such a good listener and in that moment I just needed him, you know, and it sucks because he’s not here and I wish he was and I want him to be safe, but I needed to vent. I needed to tell him what was going on because he’s my dad and I love him and he’s always been there for me, especially with things like this. And I did tell him before he left most of the things in the e-mail, he knew I wasn’t getting along with Avery and that I really, really wanted to fix it and that…”

“Grace, Grace,” Danny soothed, “Relax, slow down, take some deep breaths.”

She did as she was told, taking a few deep breaths, and then bursting out into laughter. Danny arched an eyebrow in her direction, confusion clearly written on his face.

“I can’t believe I just pulled a Danno.”

“Pulled a Danno? What does that mean? Please don’t tell me that’s something Steve came up with.”

“You taught me to never tell a lie, Danno.”

Danny groaned, “I’m going to hurt him when he gets home. What does ‘pulling a Danno’ mean?”

“It just means you talk and rant, hand gestures and all, without much thought. It’s basically word vomit.”

“I do not word vomit.” Danny’s arms were crossed in front of his chest, an indignant look on his face which only spawned more laughter on Grace’s part.

“Dad, you word vomit daily.”

“Well, that’s beside the point. The point is, Grace, Steve is your father and he loves you very much. Yes, we talk about trying to tone down our crazy while he’s gone, he does have a tendency to worry, but I’ve never asked you to lie or not seek him out when you need him. He will worry, I’m sure, but he’s already worrying. He would worry more if he came home and realized that you needed to talk and you never e-mailed because you were concerned about him. That will give him aneurysm face and we really don’t want him to have aneurysm face, do we?”

Grace shook her head, leaning in for one last father-daughter embrace before heading towards the stairwell, “I need to shower and get home before Mom has a cow and grounds me indefinitely.”

“Yeah, about that. I’m thinking that I will talk her into letting you sit this breakfast out. You can stay here, I will put you to work so you will be punished, but this way you and Avery can continue to bond.”

“Really?”

“Really, just don’t say I never did anything for you.” 

Grace shrieked in joy and skipped back to the kitchen, throwing her arms around his neck. “Thank you, thank you, Danno!”

Danny laughed, holding on a second longer than he usually did, “Anytime Monkey. Even though I’m upset you lied and didn’t tell anyone where you’d be, I am glad that you did the responsible thing and helped Avery out when she needed it, which is the only reason I’m letting you get away with not going to your mom’s.”

Grace didn’t say anything, just smiled, hugged back, and then walked upstairs.

*H50*  
Grace emerged from the shower just in time to see Avery hobble out of her bedroom, holding onto the doorjamb for dear life.

“Got your sea legs under you yet, sailor?” Grace quipped as Avery flipped her off.

“Not funny. Life, I hate it.”

“Well, just so you know, Danno knows why you hate life so, fair warning, we are both spending the day doing whatever torturous punishment he can come up with.”

Avery groaned, swaying a little as she tried to walk towards the bathroom, “Ugh.”

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly” An awkward silence descended between the two teenagers standing in the upstairs hallway. Grace was sure anyone walking up the stairs would be thoroughly confused when they saw one girl leaning against the wall at a ninety degree angle, unable to straighten herself up lest the blood rush away from her head causing her to become dizzy on top of the pounding headache, and the other girl, dressed only in a towel, blocking the entrance to the magical land where hangovers begin to dissipate, also known as the shower. 

Grace cleared her throat and began to move out of Avery’s way.

“So, shower, ibuprofen, and then torture?”

Grace laughed, nodding as she walked towards her room, “As long as I can stay upstairs during the Danno rant about expected behavior because that is one type of torture I do not want to be subjected to without just cause.”

Avery gave her the thumbs up sign before closing the bathroom door and, the shower being turned just a moment later. Grace got dressed slowly; the quicker she finished this task the quicker she’d have to start whatever punishment Danno handed down. She waited until she heard the shower turn off and Avery walk into her own bedroom and close the door. Giving her sister a few minutes, she made her way back down the hall and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Avery yelled from inside, a groan following her outburst.

“It will get better as the day goes on,” Grace comforted as she sat down on Avery’s bed, grabbing Steven the Seal from his place against her pillows.

“Yeah, I know, but how is it again that anyone voluntarily gets drunk after experiencing this? I mean, I know I’m not a big drinker, but I know what a hangover feels like and the last thing I want to experience again is this.”

“Well, as I’m sure you remember, you will soon stop seeing spots, light will no longer hurt your eyes, your stomach will stop lurching every time you move, and this will all happen just in time for you to go out again tonight. It’s the vicious circle of drunkenness. We are miserable for hours after, but have short memory for those particular negative outcomes.”

“I am not, under any circumstance, ever doing that again.” Avery’s face was scrunched up into a knot of pain, her eyes half-closed against the harsh Hawaiian sun streaming in through her blinds.

“You say that now, but when you start college, just wait. Better yet, just wait until the next beach bonfire this summer. Night surfing, beer, nothing beats it.”

“No, no, I don’t ever want to feel like this for another moment in my life.”

Grace laughed, “Okay, whatever you say, Aves. Hey, you want to talk about last night?”

“Last night, no, not really.”

“Okay, you know, I’m just saying I’m here for you is all.” 

“I am really grateful for everything you did for me yesterday.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“I know that we’ve had some problems recently.”

Grace nodded, “Yeah, but I wish we could move past them, you know, go back to how things were.”

“Me too.”

“Really, I thought for sure you’d never forgive me.”

“Well, I haven’t completely forgiven you, just taking steps in the right direction.”

Grace didn’t say anything, just silently sat there, thankful that at least something was going right in her life. Avery smiled and laid down on the bed next to Grace, in much the same position they used to sleep in when they were little and had sleepovers in each other’s bedrooms. Grace laughed, thinking back to those times when life didn’t seem so complicated. It was just them and their dads and they didn’t have to worry about boys or school or moms coming back after sixteen years. 

Avery nudged Grace with her elbow. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking about when we used to have sleepovers in our rooms.”

Avery looked around, memories clouding her eyes, “Yeah, we used to sleep just like this. Granted, back then, we were both so small that we could sleep horizontal on the bed and not have our legs hanging off.”

“Yeah, and we used to have blankets tied up like a fort over the bed because we were convinced that if we covered ourselves then there was no way Steve or Danno could hear us laughing late into the night.”

“That never did seem to work out the way we planned.”

“No, it didn’t.”

Silence washed over them, but this time it was a contented silence. A silence built on comfort and space, not the awkward voids of conversation that had been plaguing them for months.

Grace cleared her throat, shifting so she was looking at Avery, “I’m really sorry that I treated you like crap these past few months. I never should have told those guys about your mom.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Avery’s eyes darkened a little, but her voice remained calm.

“I just…”

“You just what?”

“No, I’m not going to sit here and make excuses. I acted badly, end of story. I want to do anything in my power to make it up to you. You are the best friend and sister a girl could ask for; I don’t want to spend another day in a fight, especially not now, what with Steve being gone and all.”

Avery looked over at her, a sadness in her eyes that Grace had never seen before. “I don’t want to fight anymore either, Grace. But, you have to understand how much it hurt to hear my sister say those things. Grace, there are things I’ve told you about my mom that I’ve never even told Dad or Danno. I was terrified; you could hurt me so much more than you already had.”

“I broke your trust, I know. It just got to be so hard, Aves. Mom, she and Stan have been fighting non-stop and all they do is tell me how I need to be a proper young lady and be respectable and only hang out with kids whose parents go to the club. I didn’t want to; in fact I rebelled for months. The kids there, they were awful. I wanted to hang out with you, and Steve, and Danno and just go surfing and get shave ice and spend our afternoons doing homework on the lanai or at the Palace, seeing if we could maybe catch a glimpse of the dads hauling in a suspect, acting all tough and superior. I’m not as strong as you, you know, I couldn’t handle what the kids at the club were saying. They said I’m not a real society girl, acting better than me, saying I’d always be blue-collar, no matter how high up my mother married. I mean, I don’t want to be high society, not even close. I love our life here and our family, and I’ve missed having my best friend to talk to about things.”

Grace shut her mouth, tears welling in her eyes. She probably shouldn’t have said as much as she did. This was supposed to be about apologizing to Avery, being there for her, not dumping Grace’s crap onto her lap as well.

“You know, you could have come to me long before you got to the point of having to throw me under the bus to get people to like you. There are people who already like you for you who are, and you alienated them for months.”

“I know.”

“But I could tell that things have been rough for you at home.”

“I’ve always been so jealous of you.”

“Me,” Avery answered, shocked. “You, the girl who could have anything she wants and drives around in a brand new BMW, was jealous of me.”

“You have a family, a real family.”

“Grace, the last time I checked you were my sister which means my family is your family, too.”

Grace looked away. She could feel the heat of a blush rising up her neck. Admitting her feelings, even to Avery who never judged her, wasn’t easy, “We have the same family members, but a completely different family.”

“Grace, that literally makes no sense.” 

Avery’s first genuine smile aimed in her direction in months gave Grace the confidence to continue, “What I mean is that your experience of this family is a lot different than mine. I spend two days every other week here, but you’re here every day. You don’t have two other parents that you have try and impress or listen to. And, the parents you live with on a daily basis don’t yell, throw things, call you names, or make your life a living hell. That’s what I’m jealous about. You have two parents who love you unconditionally and do not want you to be anyone else but yourself.”

“Grace, I had no idea that living with Rachel and Stan was like that. I couldn’t imagine having to live through that, really. You shouldn’t have to. You know that all you have to do is tell Danno and he’ll get you out of there in a heartbeat.”

“I know, but the last time Danno and Mom were in a custody battle Danno ended up living in a roach-infested apartment for nine months while he paid off all his lawyer bills. I can’t do that to him again.”

“Grace, it would be different if you were just being a spoiled brat and wanted to move out because Rachel said you couldn’t go to some party. But if you aren’t comfortable in your own house and your parents are calling you names, taking out their anger on you, that’s not something you should ever feel guilty about wanting to get out of.”

“I know, but even though it’s been tough I still love my mom. I mean, she’s my mom.”

“Yeah, I can relate to that.”

Grace quirked her eyebrow in Avery’s direction, holding her tongue even though she had a million questions she wanted to fire off about Gwen. But Grace held back and waited for Avery to open up.

“My mom’s been coming around every day trying to get to me to talk to her. She’s invited me to dinner, come to my swim practices, and even brought coffee to the house in the morning before I leave for practice.”

“Well, getting up at the crack of fucking dawn has to count for something, right?”

Avery laughed, “I wouldn’t know. I’m a Navy girl; we don’t know what it means to sleep past five AM.”

“Too true. But, you were saying.”

“I keep shutting her out even though I do have questions, so many questions. I’ve spent years thinking about her, wondering who she was, where she’d gone, why she left. I want to know what she was like back then, if she ever loved me. I want to know if I’m like her, do we have the same bad habits or personality quirks. But I can’t get any answers to my questions if I keep pushing her away.”

“Why do you think you keep turning down her offers?”

“Easy, I don’t want to hurt Danno.”

“Why would getting to know your mom hurt Danno?” Grace was confused. She knew, without a doubt, that all Danny would ever want for Avery is to know her mom in whatever way she wanted.

“I don’t want him to think I don’t love him as much.”

“He’s not going to think that, Avery. He loves you too damn much to ever prevent you from getting to know your mom.”

“Plus, Dad clearly didn’t want me to know her, and I wonder if I should take his lead, you know, and stay away, especially since he’s not here to be my buffer.”

“Steve’s reaction would be the same as Danno’s; he would want you to know your mom in whatever way you want. Both of them just want you to be happy. You really don’t think that they’ve worried for years about how not having a mom has affected you?”

“I know that they worry, but I just can’t help but worry just as much. Freaking McGarrett genes.”

Grace put her hand on Avery’s shoulder, a comforting gesture she hadn’t employed in months, “Just talk to Danno; tell him what you’re worried about.”

Avery nodded, pulling Grace into a hug, “Thanks, Grace, really. I’ve wanted to talk to you since she showed up on our doorstep.”

“You never have to worry about me not being here ever again.”

Avery pulled back, a smile glowing on her face. “You should talk to Danno about moving in with us.”

Grace shrugged. She may have been ready to open up to Avery about what was going on at home, but she hadn’t explained the half of it. She knew the minute she told Danno anything a war would ensue between her parents, and the last thing she wanted was her father to have to deal with custody issues and expensive lawyers when he was already worrying about Steve’s safety overseas.

“For now, I’m just glad I have an excuse to hang out over here again.”

“Glad I could be of assistance,” Avery laughed as she climbed off the bed and bowed in dramatic fashion, “I aim to please.”

Grace laughed and got up from the bed too, straightening out her shirt. She looked at her watch and realized they’d been talking for a good twenty minutes, “Oh crap, we’ve taken way too long up here. You might want to call or text Ian before Danno gets a hold of you. I’m sure phone privileges are about to be revoked.”

“Why should I call Ian again?”

Grace just shook her head at Avery’s obliviousness. The boy couldn’t get enough of spending time with her, talked to her on a daily basis, and acted as a knight in shining armor when life began crashing down around her. And, to top it all off, the boy was breathtakingly gorgeous. Literally, he was built like solid rock, years of swimming carving his body into something akin to god-like. But, Grace digresses from the point. The point being that Ian was one of the sweetest boys she knew, and was head over heels for her sister who was too oblivious to notice his intentions. The worst of it, though, was that Grace was sure Avery liked him too, just wasn’t ready to admit it. Although for the life of her, Grace couldn’t figure out why. 

“Two reasons. One, he asked me about ten times to make sure you call him in the morning to let him know that you are okay. And two, because the boy really likes you and he’s gorgeous and you need to do something about that before someone else snatches him up.”

“No one is snatching anyone around here,” Danny’s booming voice interrupted from the doorway. “In fact, if I see anyone of the male persuasion that is not named Danny or Chin in this house for the next two weeks I will be chaining you both inside this house until you’re thirty.”

“Grace, I thought you said you didn’t tell Danno what happened at the party,” Avery turned on her, eyes wild with anger.

“I didn’t,” Grace threw her hands in the air, eyes darting between her father and sister, “He just knows you were drinking.”

“I’m sorry, someone better start filling me in about what happened last night.”

Avery shifted from side to side, realizing quickly that she had backed herself into the corner. “Um, uh, nothing happened, Danno.”

“Try again.” Danny wasn’t pleased. In fact, he had his ‘don’t fuck with me’ cop face on. Damn, Avery was in trouble.

“Imayhavebeensortaassualtedlastnight,” Avery mumbled in one breath.

Danny held his hand up, cupping his ear and leaning forward, “Say that one more time so the rest of the class can hear.”

“I may have been partially assaulted last night.”

“When you say partially assaulted you mean?”

“This guy was drunk and he maybe tried to sleep with me.”

“HE WHAT!”

Grace was pretty sure she’d never heard Danno’s voice reach a decibel level that high before.

“Look, nothing happened, Danno. I came to my senses and kneed him in the groin, just like Dad said to do.”

“Just like Dad said to do. Did he happen to mention what you should do after you knee the guy in the groin? Like maybe call your parents who happen to be cops and would be more than happy to arrest the son of a bitch.”

“He never mentioned it.”

“You really think this is the time to get smart with me?” Danny was fuming. Grace was pretty sure that at any moment smoke was going to start pouring out of Danny’s ears. His face was already red in anger, the vein on his forehead looking like it was about two sentences away from exploding.

“I just wanted to get out of there, not relive it. Look, it was nothing.”

“Tell me what his name was.”

“I don’t know his name; he goes to the public school.”

“Well then, get in the car, we are driving to the Palace and going through every picture of every boy at that high school.”

“But, Danno.”

Danny held his hand up, halting Avery’s progress, “Don’t you dare say one word. You went out last night, lied to me, got drunk, got yourself into a dangerous situation, and then didn’t bother to call me. I am so far beyond pissed that I can’t even see pissed. You and I are going to have a long, long talk about the expectations of the members of this family. And, if you’re lucky, I won’t be able to get a hold of your father who would just love to hear about this.”

“I don’t think we should worry Dad about this.”

“I am not keeping this from him. He needs to know what his daughter did and what happened. So, both of you, march your butts rights out the door and into the car, now.”

“Danno…”

“Avery Lynne McGarrett, get in the car now before you never see the outside world again.”

Hanging her head in defeat Avery walked out of the door and down the stairs. One glare in her direction by her father and Grace was hightailing it after Avery.

The rest of the afternoon wasn’t going to be pretty, but at least she had her sister back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The address for my tumblr blog is: www(dot)contextualrandomness(dot)tumblr(dot)com
> 
> Sorry this is at the bottom. The beginning A/N was doing something weird.


	13. Pull Me Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is officially over so that means I will be writing much more frequently. My plan is to have this story completely finished by the end of the summer. Reviews and encouragement will get chapters out quicker! I hope this was well worth the wait :) 
> 
> Thanks to my beta jerseybelle for all of her encouragement!

Danny was having trouble breathing; he couldn’t see straight. Just thinking about that boy’s hands on Avery was enough to make his breakfast come back up his throat for a second appearance. Swallowing down the rising bile, he followed the girls down the stairs almost bumping into Grace’s stilled back in the front hallway.

“Grace, what the –” Danny’s mouth shut quickly, his anger rising even higher than it already was as he saw the reason for the doorway hold-up.

Avery had opened the front door, about to make her way to the Camaro, when Gwen had walked up the front walk, three cups of coffee in her hand.

“Go away,” Avery said, quietly 

“C’mon, just hear me out. I brought coffee for you, me, and Danny and I thought we could all chat. That way, maybe, it will make you more comfortable to spend time with me if he was there too.”

If Danny wasn’t already on edge because of the situation with Avery, he may have felt kind of bad for Gwen. No matter what happened, she was trying to make Avery comfortable enough to talk to her. He had to give her some credit for the fact that she wasn’t giving up, no matter how many times Avery said no.

However, he was on edge and he was determined to find the son of a bitch who had his hands all over his daughter, so he wasn’t in the mood to put up with this right now.

Danny quickly maneuvered his way around Grace, halting Gwen before she walked any closer to the house, “This is really not a good time. We are busy and about to leave so if you could kindly move out of the way.”

“You can’t keep preventing me from seeing her,” Gwen yelled as Danny brushed past her, waving for the girls to follow. “I have a right as her mother to see her.”

“You have no right, and I mean no right to tell me what I can and cannot do. I am the parent here, and when it comes to my children, what I say goes. But, for the record, the person preventing you from seeing Avery is not me, it’s her. I told her that pursuing any sort of relationship with you was her choice. I also told her that I would support any decision she made. And I think she’s made it quite clear what she feels about this situation. I would suggest you take the hint and leave us alone.”

Danny was livid at this point, barely able to keep his breathing even enough to get out full sentences. He watched as Avery shrunk into the background, trying her best to stay out of Gwen’s line of sight, hiding slightly behind a taller Grace.

Wanting to move towards her, comfort her even though he was so angry at her he couldn’t see straight, Danny made a move to turn back around, but that only helped in reminding Gwen that Avery was on the front porch too.

“Avery, you are my baby and I love you so dearly. I know that I made some mistakes in the past but I really want to make up for them. I want to prove to you that I can be the mother you need.”

Danny watched Avery’s eyes clench shut, her hand came up to rub at her forehead which was probably pounding at this point from the amount of alcohol she had consumed the previous evening. 

“She doesn’t want to talk right now, Gwen. Just leave her alone. You’ve given us your number, and if she changes her mind then we will call you.”

“No, I’m tired of this. You two have been jerking me around for weeks now. I want to, no, I demand to get to know my daughter.”

“Just leave, please,” Avery yelled, her cheeks tinged red in anger, “I’m not ready. You broke me, you hurt me, and I haven’t put all the pieces back together again. If I change my mind I will call.”

“See, okay, I think everyone has made their feelings perfectly clear, and now it’s time for you to leave and let us get along with our morning.” Danny tried to steer Gwen back around and towards her car, but she planted her feet firmly in the grass and refused to budge.

“She is just a child and is not capable of making sound decisions.”

“She’s a teenager, and a very smart, mature teenager. If she says she isn’t ready then she’s not ready and you have to respect that. And if you don’t want to respect her request, then you can respect mine, as her parent. You will not see Avery until she decides she’s ready to see you, end of story. Now get off of my property before I arrest you for trespassing.”

“This is not the end. I will get her back, I swear. I will not stop until she’s mine. You better get ready for a fight because I will get custody of my daughter. I will take her away from you; she belongs with me and Steve.”

Danny watched her stalk away, slamming the car door as she peeled out of the driveway. Sighing, the anger he had about the previous night having completely disappeared. He turned to see both girls standing on the front porch with wide eyes. He walked towards them, pulling both to his chest, “I love you two. Let’s go back inside, have some chocolate chip pancakes and spend the rest of the morning relaxing on the beach, sound good?”

Both girls nodded wordlessly, knowing that Danny was still upset about the night before, but he was willing to move past it for their sakes; two girls whose father was halfway around the world fighting in a war could only handle so much. Danny would find the boy who tried to force himself on Avery, but he would find a better way of doing it. For now, he put that aside and walked his two girls back into the house and sat them down at the kitchen island while he made the most chocolate-y pancakes possible.

*H50*  
Three weeks after Gwen’s meltdown in their front lawn an official looking envelope landed on Danny’s desk at HQ. Glancing around and seeing the cousins working diligently on their paperwork, he slid a letter opener under the flap and pulled out the scary-looking stack of papers held inside.

Reading the top page to himself, his mind went from curious, to flabbergasted, to straight-out angry in 2.5 seconds as he read the legalese written on the page.

Fucking Gwen.

Fucking life. How was this his life?

The envelope had been sent to him from Gwen’s lawyer informing him that Gwen was planning on suing him and Steve for reinstatement of her parental rights to Avery. Further down the page it was explained that due to national laws concerning parental guardianship, if Gwen was successful in winning her case, he would no longer, legally, be able to play any sort of parental role in Avery’s life. For all intents and purposes, Danny would officially be nothing other than her father’s husband to her, and since Steve was currently deployed to god the fuck knows where, it would also mean that Avery would be placed in Gwen’s custody until Steve returned. In the unfortunate event of Steve’s death in combat, full custody would be granted to Gwen, and only if she deemed it okay would Danny be able to see Avery.

Dumbstruck, Danny slowly sank down into his office chair, the papers still clutched in his hand. He couldn’t begin to put even one single coherent thought together; ‘I’m going to lose her’ chanting over and over again in his head. He didn’t know how long he sat there staring off into space, mind numb and hand clutching at the papers so hard they were beginning to crinkle.

So absorbed in his thoughts, Danny didn’t even notice Chin and Kono move from their offices and open his door, looks of concern reflecting on both their faces.

“Hey, Danny, you okay,” Chin asked as he and Kono moved further into the room, letting the office door swing shut behind them.

“Um,” Danny looked up, still unable to think. Chin’s piercing stare, urging him to say more, forced Danny to hand the papers over; no way he was up to forming words at this point.

Chin began to scan the pages, Kono reading over his shoulder, as Danny’s head fell forward, held up only by his hand. Willing himself to take a few breaths to clear his mind, he looked up in time to see his two friends finish the first page.

“Can she do this?” Kono asked, voice raising a few octaves indicating her clear anger.

“It seems legit,” Danny started, “And if you read further you will see that in the process of her doing this, it will mean that I will lose all legal right to guardianship. In essence, Avery will be required, by law, to remain in Gwen’s custody until Steve returns. Luckily, it looks like she isn’t attempting to sue for full custody; apparently she’s not that stupid. She knows she can’t win that. She can’t convince a judge that she’s a better parent than Steve after she hasn’t been around for sixteen years. However, as you can probably guess, this wouldn’t be a big deal if Steve was here. But, since he’s not, it means that she gets full custody by default until he returns. And if he is killed in action, then Gwen is granted full custody and can limit my time with Avery however she sees fit.”

Kono moved around the desk to throw her arms around Danny’s neck, “Other-bossman, I promise you will not lose Avery. Chin and I will help you in any way we can. No way does this woman break apart our ohana.”

Chin nodded behind her, moving closer to clasp a comforting hand on Danny’s shoulder.

Danny smiled at them, thankful that even though his life appeared to be going to hell in a hand basket, he still had his friends here to help him through, “Thanks guys, you have no idea how much I appreciate this.”

Running his fingers through his hair, he sighed and leaned back in his chair, “I guess I have to find a good lawyer. I need to know what I’m up against. I mean Steve and I followed everything by the book when we worked out Avery’s custody agreement originally. There’s no reason it shouldn’t stick, but I don’t know, I’m worried they will have pity on her, think that she’s seen the errors in her ways and give her the opportunity to make it up to Avery. And what if whatever judge we get has an anti-gay leaning and doesn’t think it’s appropriate for a child to be raised by two fathers? There are so many possible scenarios running through my head, and that’s just the legal side. What do I tell Avery? How do I break the news to her that this person, who she’s been pushing against, pulling away from, is hoping to finagle a way into her life by force? I gave Avery every assurance that I would not let her down, that I would support whatever decision she made and ensure that Gwen followed that decision too. But now, now I failed her and I have to go home and tell her that.”

“Danny,” Chin started, “You tell Avery the truth. You know just as well as I do that she’s a strong keiki and has handled everything life has thrown at her. She’s strong, confident, and she trusts you completely. You make sure she knows that you are there for her. You make sure that she believes that no matter what happens she will not lose another parent, because that, above all else, will be what breaks her. She lost one parent when she was two months old, lost a pseudo-parent when John was murdered, and she’s had to deal with the possibility of losing Steve to combat numerous times. You, Danny, you have been the solid parental figure in her life since she was five. You were the one that proved to her that she would always have someone there for her. If she loses you, Danny, she will not be able to handle the fears and worries that come along with that.”

“Chin, you are a wise man,” Danny smirked, pushing his chair away from his desk, standing up, and brushing out the wrinkles in his dress shirt and pants, “I think that I need to go home and figure out a way to have this conversation. You guys can call it quits for the night too; the paperwork will be here in the morning.”

“You sure you don’t want back-up?” Kono asked.

Danny shook his head. This was something he had to do himself, “No, but thanks for the offer, Kono. I think that coming from just me will help reassure Aves that I will be here for her and can handle anything that comes our way.”

The three remaining members of Five-0 turned the lights off in their office and walked out together into the balmy Hawaiian evening. Waving to his co-workers, Danny hopped into the Camaro, buckling in before speeding off towards home and the dreaded conversation awaiting him there.

*H50*  
Say what you wanted, but Danny cooked when he was nervous. And he cooked big, unhealthy, comforting meals because that’s what you did when you wanted to cheer up. You ate something so delicious you forgot what your troubles were in the first place.

That is, of course, if you were a normal person and wasn’t named McGarrett. Danny put the dirty dinner dishes in the sink a little harder than he’d planned, chipping off a piece of one of the plates.

“Dammit,” he yelled, banging his fist on the counter. “This day can’t get any fucking worse.”

The entire conversation had been a disaster, from start to finish. He’d been nervous and Avery knew something was up, his tells were just too damn obvious. He tried to wait it out a little, see if he could calm down and be in a better place to broach this topic. But Avery just stared at him, not touching the cheesy, homemade macaroni and cheese he’d made.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Danny had asked.

She shook her head. “Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

He sighed. He had spent the afternoon reading through all the paperwork, rehearsing in his head the best way to tell Avery. But, through all his frantic worry, he hadn’t come up with a single plan for how to approach the situation.

Defeated, he took a deep breath, and bit the bullet, “I received some papers from your mother’s lawyer today.”

Avery didn’t say anything, just gave him the infamous McGarrett thousand-yard stare and waited for him to continue. “She’s suing to regain her parental rights.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that she wants to become your mother, legally speaking, again. She would retain partial custody of you, but your main custodial parent will still be your Dad. However, if she was to win, it would mean that you would have to spend whatever allotted amount of time the court’s assigned with her every week.”

“No. I won’t do it.”

“Aves,” Danny tried to console, helplessly. She was violently shaking her head, tears brimming in her eyes.

“Danno, I don’t want to see her. She, she hurt me so much. How can I forgive what she did? How could they think she would be a good parent? What if she left again? Is this going to make you leave? I know I’m too much to handle, my life has been anything but perfect recently, and with Dad gone you don’t deserve to deal with all of this.”

Danny pushed his chair back soundlessly, crossing around the table and pulling Avery up, out of the chair and into his arms. Rubbing a soothing hand through her long brown hair he said, “Shh, munchkin. I promise everything is going to be okay. I will not leave no matter what happens, and you are not too difficult. I will be fighting tooth and nail to prevent this from happening. I promise she will be met with a fight. I made a promise to you when she first showed up that I would defend your decision, and that is what I’m going to do.”

Avery sniffled against his shirt, tears staining through the fabric and hitting his skin in salty droplets. He held her until her breathing slowed and her body stopped convulsing. Waiting until she made the first move, Danny moved them towards the living room, food long forgotten on the kitchen table.

“Sit down, munchkin.”

Avery listened, sitting down wordlessly before pulling out of his grasp and looking towards him, “If she wins what is going to happen to you?”

“Nothing, I will still be here and I will always be your Danno.”

“Seriously? Please, Danno, please don’t try and protect me. Tell me the truth.”

“I’m not one hundred percent positive, but based on what I’ve read it looks like in order for her to gain custody I will have to lose my status as your legal guardian. If your father is not home if this does in fact occur, than you will have to live with her as she will be your temporary custodial parent until Steve returns.”

“No, no, they can’t take me away from you.”

“Avery, I don’t want them to take you away either, I swear. I will never, ever give up on this. I promise I will do everything I possibly can to make sure this goes away. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about; your Dad and I were very careful when we went through the custody process the first time.”

“What’s going to happen if Dad doesn’t come home?”

“In the worst case scenario?” Danny hoped she said she didn’t want to know.

“Worst case scenario.”

Cursing his luck, “You will be mandated by law to live with Gwen until you are eighteen at which point you are legally an adult and able to make your own decisions.”

This was the point in the conversation where the shit really hit the fan because Avery couldn’t contain her anger. Jumping up she yelled and cried and screamed until her voice was hoarse. 

“They can’t,” she pleaded. “They can’t take me away. I don’t, I can’t, how am I supposed to handle this? I can’t.”

She pulled away from Danny’s grasp and ran outside to the backyard, stripping off her clothes as she went. Once she was down to her bathing suit, she dove in the ocean, her arms slicing through the waves at a terrifyingly fast pace. Danny sucked in a breath, hand combing through his hair as he cursed the moment Gwen arrived on their doorstep all those weeks ago.

While periodically peering out to the ocean to make sure a figure was still moving through the water, Danny started to clear the table and put the dinner dishes in the dishwasher; anything to keep his hands moving, his mind focused on a mindless task instead of the ungodly mess his life was at the moment.

Avery didn’t return until the sun had all but set behind the horizon and Danny had boxed up all the leftovers, scrubbed every pot and pan, and washed the table with such force he was positive it hadn’t shined that much since the day they bought it five years ago. Watching Avery stand at the water’s edge, the ocean lapping over her feet as she stared out over the vast expanse of water in front of her, Danny sighed, wishing that Steve was here. 

Danny prided himself on being able to handle any situation life threw at him. He had gotten through his divorce, he figured out a way to remain in Grace’s life, he moved 5,000 miles away from the only home he’s ever known, and he can’t even begin to count the number of life threatening situations he’s found himself in since meeting Steve. He was strong and he knew he would fight through anything to keep his family together, but now, watching the broken lines in Avery’s body as she moved silently back towards the house, he was scared, truly and utterly scared of what the future would bring.

He saw the fear flash in Avery’s eyes as the gravity of the situation pulled at her. Watched the pain of abandonment she’d felt for years rear its ugly head as the person who put those feelings there tried to strong-arm her way back into their lives.

It was just too much for Danny. He wanted Steve, no he needed Steve. He needed to not be the strong one for a moment, or at least he needed to not be as strong. He needed his partner, his best friend, his husband. But his husband wasn’t there.

The last time he saw him he’d been dressed in fatigues, cryptic dog tags hanging around his neck, and a duffel slung over his shoulder. He’d been off to fight a battle that was no longer his, but a battle he felt obligated to see through until the end. Danny knew, deep down, that he shouldn’t ask, but probably would. He would ask Steve for this to be it. He’d done his twenty. It was time. It was time for him to get out, let someone else take over and fight these battles. Steve had served his country gallantly and now it was time for him to come home and be there for his family.

But that was a huge request of someone like Steve. The Navy was such a big part of his being, his identity. And this was the only thing that had held Danny back from voicing the request in the past. He wanted to ask for years, but he knew that being a SEAL, being a sailor, was as equally important to who Steve was as a person as his role as husband and father. And although Danny knew, without a doubt, that if his family required it, Steve would step down from his command in a heartbeat with no second thoughts, he still felt guilty even considering the request.

Danny didn’t know if this situation counted as dire enough to warrant such an appeal. Not that it mattered much anyway at this point; Steve was already gone and wouldn’t be able to come home until the mission had been completed.

So Danny was on his own, whether he liked it or not.

“Hey, you want something to eat now?”

Avery stopped in the kitchen as Danny moved towards the fridge. “I boxed up all the leftovers and I’d be happy to heat some up for you. Or I could put together a sandwich.”

Avery glanced at Danny, eyes cold and hidden. She shook her head, “Not hungry, Danno.”

“You’ve got to eat something,” he pleaded, knowing it wasn’t appropriate for a grown man to beg, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “You haven’t had any dinner and in addition to swimming at practice, you just did at least a mile in the ocean. You are dead on your feet, your muscles can barely hold you up, and don’t lie and say you’re fine because I can tell. So, no, not eating is not an option.”

“Just leave me the fuck alone, Danno,” she yelled, her sudden outburst startling Danny. “Stop coddling me. I’m sixteen years old and I can handle my own life. I don’t need you and I don’t need a mother and I don’t need anybody. I’ve lived my entire life doubting people would be there for me, so you know what, I’ve learned to just do it all myself. Just get out of my business, stop mother-henning me and eat your own goddamn macaroni.”

She didn’t wait for a response, just stomped up the stairs. Danny flinched when he heard the slam of the bedroom door a few minutes later. He tried to will away the tears threatening to spill over. He knew she didn’t mean the words she said, knew that she wasn’t taking this well, and that this situation was bringing up a lot of feelings she had long since buried deep, deep inside her. But it didn’t mean that the words didn’t sting. That hearing her say she didn’t trust that he would be here, that she didn’t need him, that she’s lived her life without people even though he’s been there since day one after meeting her father in his garage.

He locked up the house and made his way to the bedroom, shutting down the lights as he went. Flopping onto the bed he closed his eyes, hoping a few moments of stillness would break the emotion bubbling in his chest.

Almost immediately after shutting his eyes, Danny’s phone buzzed against his hip. Pulling it out of his pocket, he noticed the restricted number and hit the answer call button.

“Hello.”

“Danno?” Steve’s voice sounded a little ragged, wrecked, like he hadn’t slept in awhile.

Danny sat up, scrubbing a hand over his face to will away the sorrow etched there; he was going to try his damndest to make sure Steve didn’t notice the pain. “Steve, oh man, you have no idea how great it is to hear your voice.”

Steve laughed. “You too, Danny. I’ve missed you and the girls. I know I haven’t called or e-mailed much, but it’s just, you know.”

He petered off into silence, Danny knowing that meant he wanted to say more but couldn’t, it was classified.

“Hey, I get it,” Danny reassured.

“I’ve only got about ten minutes,” Steve said, “How are things at home? How are the girls?”

Danny wasn’t sure where to start. He knew what he wanted to say, knew he wanted to talk for hours and get Steve’s input, but that wasn’t possible. So instead he responded, “The girls are good, they finally made up, put to rest this feud between them. Grace has been over more and more and they’re finally laughing together again, hanging out with their friends as much as possible. It feels good to see them like that again.”

“That’s good, real good, Danno. I had a talk with Grace, you know, before I left, and I could tell how much that had been bothering her. I’m glad they finally worked it out. How did they finally talk and figure things out?”

Danny sat silent for a moment, contemplating how much detail he should go into. Figuring less was probably more, but at least this semi-bad news was better than talking about the other shit-tastically awful news so Danny decided on the lesser of two evils, “Unfortunately that’s not as great a story. Avery apparently decided to go out to a party with her friends and get very drunk. After being sexually assaulted by a senior, she called Grace to pick her up. The next morning they talked and were finally able to put all of the awfulness of the past few months behind them.”

“I’m sorry did you say my daughter was sexually assaulted and you didn’t tell me!”

Danny winced at Steve’s words, knowing that he had fucked up. He actually had every intention of e-mailing or attempting to find a way to contact Steve and tell him about that night. But then Gwen had showed up on their doorstep and everything went to hell. The previous night completely slipping from Danny’s mind as he instead began picking up the pieces Gwen left in her wake. “Shit, Steve, I know. I’m sorry. I meant to but something came up and I just never got around to it.”

“Danny, you don’t think that falls under the need to know category? This is my little girl, our little girl, and she was hurt and scared and I need to know that she’s okay.”

“She’s good, now. Apparently she was sober enough to remember what you told her she should do if she ever ended up in a situation like that.”

Steve chuckled, clearly willing to forgive Danny on the indiscretion in order to maintain a light conversation; it was what they both needed in this moment. “For the record, I think this therefore indicates that I made the right decision in teaching the girls self-defense. And, therefore, you are no longer allowed to give me crap because of it.”

“Okay, okay SuperSEAL,” Danny conceded, “I will never again complain about the self-defense lessons because they kept our daughter safe in a dangerous situation.”

“I’m still upset you didn’t tell me.”

“I know, but I really, truly did mean to tell you.” Danny felt his voice crack as he held back the emotions threatening to spill over. Hearing Steve’s voice, his laugh. Danny could picture exactly what he would look like in that moment, the exact version of constipated-aneurysm face he’d be sporting. Danny felt the desire heat up in his body, the desire for Steve to be there, on every level, holding him and telling him they would get through this, together.

Danny wanted, needed to hear Steve’s voice, but sometimes hearing his voice made this part so much harder. It was a tease, really. The phone call teased Danny into thinking his husband was right there, just a phone call away. But he really wasn’t. This was just a stop along a never-ending track of loneliness that Danny was destined to endure for god knows how much longer.

Apparently Danny’s uncharacteristic silence concerned Steve even more then if he was to actually voice a concern, “What’s going on, Danno? What aren’t you telling me?”

“What makes you think something’s wrong, Steven?”

“You’re being too quiet. And I can hear the hitch in your voice like you’re trying to hold something back.”

Damn, Steve was picking up way too many detective-like skills of perception. “Steve, relax. I’m fine, the girls are fine, we’ve just had a rough couple of weeks, work’s been crazy, and we miss you. So excuse us if the big gaping, giant hole you’ve left behind hasn’t left us with a few sad days.”

“Sorry, Danny, I know how hard this is for you guys, but I promise I will be home as soon as I can.”

“Are you staying safe?”

“I’m perfectly fine, Danny. So far we haven’t suffered anything worse than a hangnail. I’ve got a good team, good guys watching my six.”

“But they aren’t me, Steve.”

“I know.”

“Hey,” Danny said, knowing their time would be up momentarily, “Danno loves you.”

“I love you too, Danny, forever and always.”

“Stay safe, Commander.”

“Will do, Detective.”

They both laughed as they hung up the phone. Flopping back down flat on the bed, Danny wished he’d had the guts to come clean, because he knew that if Steve reacted to not hearing about Avery’s assault at the party, then not hearing about Gwen’s custody battle was going to be awful. But, Danny reasoned, it was better to wait until he had more stuff figured out before bothering Steve with that information. He picked himself up and headed towards the shower to wash away the grime and pain of a very long day.

*H50*  
He took a deep breath, steadying himself under the warm spray with a hand on the tile wall. Getting the lawyer’s papers saying that Gwen was trying to sue for custody was the last straw for Danny. He had been working for months to keep everyone together while Steve was away. He prided himself on making their family work because he had the strength to carry on when Steve was gone. But this, a threat to his family, to his daughter’s well-being, he couldn’t handle alone. 

He didn’t want to handle it alone.

But he didn’t have a choice.

And, yeah, Danny should have told Steve. But it had been almost three months since he’d heard his voice and call him selfish, but for the ten minutes Steve was allowed to call home, Danny didn’t want to spend them discussing Gwen and her threat to sue for custody. He wanted to make Steve laugh for a minute because God knows he doesn’t do it enough even when Danny’s around, so he doubts he has much time for humor over there, wherever there is. He didn’t want to worry Steve, didn’t want him to take a stupid risk in order to come home early. Because no matter what Steve said about wanting Danny to be honest during deployments, some things were better left unsaid. Maybe this wasn’t one of those things, it probably wasn’t, but Danny couldn’t handle the thought of putting Steve in more danger.

He was barely making it through without him and the added stress and fear that Steve would be too preoccupied to notice an imminent threat scared Danny more than the wrath that was bound to fall down on him when Steve finally made it back stateside and realized the shitstorm that had surrounded their family.

And fuck, Danny didn’t want to let him down. They’ve been a family for almost eleven years and Danny had never let their family fall apart while Steve was away. He kept them together, he kept them fighting, and he kept them in a place where they could welcome Steve home with open arms.

Danny couldn’t tell you when the tears started mixing with the water running down his face, but he was snapped out of his reverie when his hand slipped down the wall slightly, the soapy and wet wall no longer able to hold his weight under his strong grasp, knocking a thousand shampoo and conditioner bottles onto the floor.

Bending down to pick them up, Danny sensed the familiar smell of strawberries linger in the air, a scent he always attributed to Avery. Danny capped the opened bottle, watching the water flow down the drain, washing away the spilt shampoo. For Danny’s birthday a few years ago Steve, in a gesture of great love, upgraded their shower. After years of griping and moaning from Steve about water conservation and “Haven’t you ever heard of a Navy shower, Danno,” Steve decided to update their shower to a place of pure heaven, just for Danny’s enjoyment.

Okay, the gesture wasn’t completely selfless because it did mean that shower sex was much more enjoyable.

Steve added water jets to the side wall, giving the massaging feel of water everywhere. He also added a steam shower feature. With just the flip of a switch, the already heavenly box of warmth turned into a steam room, complete with a built in seat for Danny to sit down on and enjoy.

It was the closest thing to heaven on earth, in Danny’s opinion. He had been shocked speechless (a rarity for him) when he saw it. And, true to his word, Steve has let him enjoy it every day since, never once griping about water conservation and wasting time.

And Danny loved this shower, but, unfortunately, so did everyone else in the family. This grand, romantic gesture, intended for Danny’s use (and sometime’s Steve’s) soon became the family shower, preventing the endless amounts of shower sex Steve was hoping for from happening all that often. Even though the girls had their own shower down the hall, they insisted on using Steve and Danny’s shower every chance they got, hence the reason Avery’s countless bottles of shampoo lined the shower.

But the familiar scent of strawberry didn’t help Danny’s nerves, his tears coming down in stronger waves then before. Avery slathered herself in shampoo and body wash that smelled like strawberries because she wanted to mask the ever-present smell of chlorine on her skin. It worked, but it also meant that Danny’s memory was strictly tied to that scent and its association with his daughter.

Imagining that one day he might not be able to smell that smell anymore, that someday their shower won’t have enough shampoo bottles to clean a whole army, was heartbreaking. Danny couldn’t lose his little girl. He couldn’t lose one of the two most precious people in his life. His heart, his psyche, his soul couldn’t bear it.

And he had no idea what to do. He knew he had to find a lawyer, but he had no idea how to choose a good one. Because this, this was nothing like the last time he had to invest in a family attorney. This situation was making Rachel seem like an angel sent from up above, a godsend in the light of day. Before all he had to do was fight for visitation, now he was fighting to keep Avery period. He knew that, reasonably, Gwen would never be able to gain full custody of Avery, away from him and Steve, but he feared she would be able to overturn his parental rights. And with Steve gone, what did that mean for Avery?

Steve.

What would Steve do if he came home and found out Danny had to surrender Avery to Gwen? That Danny had failed at keeping their family together? How could Steve look him in the eye, kiss him, hold him, love him when he wasn’t able to protect Steve’s daughter from the one person who had caused irrevocable damage to the teen’s psyche?

Danny couldn’t take it. He couldn’t take the fear, the worry, the pain. Everything in his life was falling apart. His husband was gone, one daughter barely smiled, and the other daughter was about to be unceremoniously ripped from the only house she’d ever lived in and thrown back in with a woman who abandoned her as a baby. How was one person expected to take care of all this? How was he supposed to handle this and take care of his sailor?

It was too much, and Danny had no idea how he got to this point. The tears overtaking him now, the water long since running cold, he slid down the shower wall, hands griping his hair as the sorrow enveloped his being, his sobs drowned out by the water beating against the shower stall.


	14. Sinking Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! See, I promised that you wouldn't have to wait nearly as long now between chapters! Hope this is well worth the wait, otherwise :) I know I've been killing you all with the drama and angst I'm putting our favorite family through, and unfortunately it won't be getting better anytime soon, but I promise to put them all back together again!
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks as always to my wonderful beta jerseybelle for her suggestions and ability to calm down my crazy mind when it's worried it's gone in the completely wrong directiion. She rocks my world! Hope you enjoy :)

Being away from his family hasn’t been easy, has never been easy. And Steve would be damned if he ever admitted that it was harder now than it was before. Before Danny, before their marriage, before everything.

Steve knew how much Danny prided himself on being strong and able to handle being married to a SEAL. Even if he doesn’t say, and Danny’s not really a man of few words anyway, Steve knows that when they have a cookout or dinner with other SEALs and their wives, Danny basks in the knowledge that he is not a blubbering Navy wife (his words, not Steve’s). 

And, for the most part, Danny is spot on with his assessment. Steve would never be able to do his job and do it well if he didn’t have the comfort in knowing that his family was being taken care of, that Danny would hold Five-0 together, and that when he got home, no matter what, his family would be there waiting for him.

But for the first time in a long time, Steve had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. It had started out as innocuous as possible, barely registering in his conscious mind. But as the mission wore on, and the months began to pass by and he hadn’t been able to reach a computer or a phone, the sinking feeling became larger and deeper, invading his thoughts on a daily basis. He had never been one for superstition or any of that crap; he didn’t believe in phantom pain or knowing when a loved one is hurting when you are halfway across the world. This feeling, though, had him thinking differently. It had him questioning, second-guessing that assumption. Was he connected to Danny at such an organic level that he could feel the detective’s pain?

He didn’t want to believe it, mainly because if he admitted it was true then that meant something was wrong with Danny. And if something was wrong with Danny that meant he was hurt or that something had happened to the girls.

When the feeling became too strong to ignore, Steve pushed his men to their breaking point, getting back to the secure rendezvous point where they would take a 48-hour respite. The small base had been set up with a couple of make-shift barracks and a tent of computers and phones. It wasn’t much; just a few computers hooked up to dial-up internet and a landline phone they all had to fight over. But it was enough to get a call out and to check e-mail, something that, at this point, he needed desperately. He needed to know that this feeling, whatever it was, was just in his head; that it had nothing to do with Danny or his girls’ well-being.

Hearing Danny’s voice for the first time in over three months calmed his restless thoughts instantly. Doing the math in his head, he knew that it was nighttime in Hawaii, but just early evening; no way that Danny would be asleep. Not that the chance of Danny being asleep would have stopped Steve from calling anyway.

He needed the reassurance, needed to know that Danny was safe, that the girls were safe.

And although hearing his husband’s voice, tired-sounding and thick, felt great, it didn’t do much to appease his worry. Danny was being too quiet. He could tell something was wrong, but they only had ten minutes.

Ten fucking minutes and then he’d have to hang up. And who knew when he’d have this chance again. He pushed a little; it wouldn’t be him if he didn’t. And he almost broke the chair he was sitting on when Danny told him Avery had been sexually assaulted, his father-mode kicking on instantly, even though he’d been out of father mode for weeks.

He remembered an old Commander telling him that no matter how long you’re in the trenches, and no matter how deep, you never shake that feeling, that feeling of being a dad. You can turn it on in an instant. Steve hadn’t believed him at the time, it being his first deployment following Avery’s birth and as the weeks had dragged on he was worried he wouldn’t recognize his baby girl when he came home. But now, hearing the words assault and Avery in the same sentence had all the feelings, all the motions flowing back immediately.

As Steve hung up the phone, Danny assuring him, not in his usual brash manner, that things on the home front were fine, he couldn’t shake the thought that this sinking feeling was a little more accurate than he wanted to believe.

Smiling to the sailor waiting behind him in line, he stood up and walked over to the computers. He needed to know what was going on at home. So, pulling up his inbox and calling upon every detective skill he had ever learned from Danny, he began to sift through the e-mails from his ohana. 

Grace had sent e-mails about how upset she was concerning her failing relationship with Avery, some tidbits about life at home with Rachel (which made Steve rub a rough hand along his face, considering how much longer he really could keep these details from Danny), and finally a message that told him that her and Avery’s relationship was on the mend.

But, it was the pure pleading he could sense in her voice as he read through her last e-mail that had him sucking in a gasping breath. Grace was so much like her father it was uncanny in certain moments, but she also had the poise and class that Rachel had instilled in her from the time she could walk. And ever since Grace hit her teenage years, she never begged because it was unbecoming of a lady, according to Rachel. But here was Grace not only begging, but pleading for Steve to come home, that she needed him. She needed his advice, his help, and above all else, she needed both her parents together. 

And even though he unconsciously knew it, to see it written right there in words that he and Danny were a better parenting pair together, well that struck him hard.

Gracie,

It makes me so happy to hear that you and Avery are on better terms now. I know that things with your mom have been tough recently, and I hate that it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. I wish I could be there for you Grace Face, to hold you and remind you that you are loved.

Because you are. I love you just the way you are, and neither Danno nor I ever want you to change. I know I’m far away, and that you aren’t asking me to help you or save you, but I want to be there for you Grace, anyway I can, which means I’m going to encourage you, again, to talk to Danno.

I know that you are nervous and that you think he won’t understand or will refuse to let you see your mom, but you’re wrong. The only time he would ever prevent you from seeing your mom is if she ever hurt you physically. He’s been put through so much and you know that he’s not the type of person to exact revenge. If you tell him, honestly, what’s going on at home and that living with us will make you happy, but that you also want to see your mom, he will make that happen.

We both just want you and Avery to be happy, to have the lives you girls deserve. And if living with Rachel and Stan is not giving you a life of happiness, Danno and I will do everything we can to give you that.

Grace Face, I love you to the moon and back again. And I’ve honored your wishes to let you tell Danno these things yourself, but you have to understand that you are asking me to lie to Danno, something we do not do. So, please, please talk to him because I don’t think I can continue to hide from him what’s really going on at Rachel’s house.

If you need moral support then look to Avery. She’s your best friend and your sister. I know that if you talk to her about things she will support you and help you talk to Danno. She’s the best McGarrett I can wrangle up on such short notice :P In all seriousness, Gracie, you can always go to her, especially now that you girls have worked things out. Your relationship will last a lifetime, never forget that.

I’ve gotta go, but remember how much I love you, Gracie!

Talk to you soon,

Steve

Hitting send, Steve started to sift through e-mails from Avery, Danny, Chin, and Kono. Chin and Kono talked a lot about Five-0 and how Danny was missing him bad; he even took a page or two out of Steve’s playbook and used empty threats of torture to get a few suspects to talk.

Steve didn’t mind admitting that he was proud.

Their e-mails weren’t particularly damning or gave any sort of indication to something really bad going down, but he got the air that they were holding something back. As he read through more and more e-mails from his entire ohana he started to notice that same vibe in many of the e-mails.

Steve knew, without a doubt, that something was happening. There was something big going on and Danny had somehow managed to convince every one of their friends and family to keep whatever it was a secret from Steve. 

Sure, the e-mails seemed slightly devoid of their normal detail, like whole chunks of days needed to be redacted due to the ‘classified’ nature of whatever this secret was, but what tipped the scales in favor of full-on Steve-freak out mode was the fact that Avery hadn’t sent him an e-mail for two weeks, and the e-mails he’d received prior to that weren’t her normal style. They were more stilted, like she didn’t want to give too much detail for fear of letting something slip.

Angry at whatever it was that was happening, Steve banged his fist on the desk beside the keyboard which brought a few raised eyebrows in his direction. He was so far beyond caring what anyone in the computer tent thought that he just went right back to banging out an e-mail to Danny on the keyboard.

Danno,

I know that you’re not telling me something. I could tell from your voice when we talked, and now that I’m sitting here reading e-mails from our ohana I am even more confident in my assumption that there is something going on. And I do applaud you for being able to keep it a secret from me, and preventing anyone from saying anything.

But I’ve been married to a damn good detective for almost ten years and I know when someone isn’t telling me something, and right now I know you aren’t telling me something. Danny, I don’t want to be upset and I don’t want to be angry. You are far away and I’m here in this hellhole and I just want you in my arms. I don’t want these words to be said in anger, but I can’t, Danny.

We’ve talked about this so many times; I want the truth, no, I need the truth from you. I can’t stand here and be okay with knowing that my husband, my children, and my closest friends are keeping something from me. I know you spout bullshit all the time about me worrying and getting killed, but not knowing, that’s making it worse Danny.

I need to know that you and the girls are safe because my mind has thought up a thousand possible scenarios, each worse than the last, but I need to know the truth. I need to know my family is okay, because no matter what you say, Danny, if you are in danger then I will do everything in my power to come home to you.

I know you’ve never asked and I’ve never mentioned it, but Danny, if something was happening with our family I would get out in a heartbeat. My command, my career means nothing if the most important people in my life are hurting because I’m gone. I’ve done my twenty and I will come home to you and our family.

So, please, please Danny. Tell me what’s going on. I need to know that everything is okay.

I love you forever and always, Danno,

Steve

He sighed, logging off and letting someone else use the computer as he headed back to his bunk. 

He slept restlessly the whole night, waking up multiple times from dreams about crime lords and drug busts gone bad and Danny and his girls tied up in underground rooms with gags in their mouths. By the time the sun peeked through the blinds of the barrack, Steve was already in the shower trying to wake up enough for the day.

Admiral Wallace called him into his office later that morning and explained to him a side mission he needed Steve and his team to complete. He was aware that they had their own mission, but the daughter of an ambassador had been kidnapped and he had assured the ambassador and his wife that the very best the U.S. military had to offer would be on the ground saving his daughter.

The kidnappers had made demands, making it impossible to get another SEAL team to the North Korean border before the time was up. So, Steve took the small report from the Admiral and called his team to a conference room. Their game plan was mapped out within the hour, and by two in the afternoon they were geared up and ready to head out.

All thoughts about Grace, Avery, Danny, and the potential secrets they were keeping left his mind as he steeled himself for the upcoming mission.

Missions with teenage girls were never easy.

*H50*  
The mission had been taxing, emotionally and physically. Seeing a young girl not much older than his daughters trapped, bound, and gagged in the basement of an abandoned building was an image that wouldn’t be erased from his mind anytime soon, and definitely not an image that would leave until he saw both of his girls well, free, and smiling back at him.

He and his team arrived back at the base in South Korea just as the beginning vestiges of the early morning light peaked out from behind the horizon. The admiral had given them a mandatory 72-hour respite before continuing on with the mission they were set to complete; this had just been a side project, a stop along the way.

All Steve wanted was a bed and a shower and some food, and at this point he was so slap-happy and brain-dead that he couldn’t decide which one he wanted more. Trudging into the barracks, he threw his duffel on his bunk and laid down, arm coming to rest over his eyes.

Realizing that the last thing he wanted after such a taxing two weeks in the North Korean jungle and slinking through villages without being seen was to wake up with a crust of earth and sweat stuck to his skin. So, he forced himself to get up and head to the shower. Scrubbing away all the dirt and grime, his body woke up enough that he thought he could manage a little food before passing out from exhaustion.

He woke up a few hours later, the sun streaming in through the windows, hot and blinding overhead. Scrubbing a hand over his still-tired face, he sat up and took stock of his situation. He never knew what to do during these mandatory respites while overseas. All he wanted to do was complete the mission and go home, and every break, every minute wasted was preventing him from reaching that goal.

Deciding that he could eat again, he made his way to the mess hall and sat down with his teammates who were also shoveling down food like it was going out of style.

“Glad to see you’ve rejoined the land of the living, McGarrett,” Ripley jibed.

“Fuck off, Rip, you were snoring right alongside me.” They all laughed, falling into a comfortable silence. Steve had to admit, he liked this team, for the most part. It was a team put together by someone else, which always made Steve anxious at the beginning that he didn’t get to pick his squad, but it was expertly assigned. Gordon and Richards had been with him before; they had fought alongside each other on numerous missions, and he counted them among some of his closest friends. The other three members of their six-man unit were fresh-faced SEALs straight out of Coronado, something that had not made Steve happy when he learned of that fact; he wanted this mission to be completed as quickly and efficiently as possible, he wasn’t in the mood to babysit newbies fresh off the boat.

But the higher-ups had assured him they were the best, and they were right. Ripley and Sandler were strong sailors, clearly some of the best to graduate from their class. They had fit right in under Steve’s leadership, and had instantly formed a mentoring bond with the two older SEALs. 

But it was their sixth member, Lawrence, who was causing them all problems. He was good, Steve was willing to admit that, but he was also a pompous ass who was too overly-confident and it had already fucked them over a few times. He took unnecessary risks and put their team’s cover and lives in danger a few times already.

Steve had laid into him good after he almost threatened the life of the hostage they were saving on their most recent mission. The young SEAL at least had the decency to look abashed, and had run back towards his bunk with his tail between his legs, but Steve was under no impression that that would last all that long.

And it hadn’t.

Because Lawrence was already sitting at the table spouting stories about their triumphs and the general level of bad-assery he (and the rest of the team) displayed as they saved the teenager from a terrible fate.

No one on the team liked him all that much, and Steve had begun to see the fractures forming, Lawrence being pushed further and further outside their ranks. And Steve knew this was dangerous territory, he knew that they all had to trust that every single person sitting at that table would have their back.

But, at this moment, even Steve wasn’t sure if he could trust Lawrence and the team always followed the lead of their commander. If Steve was uncertain, so was everyone else.

“It was just, man, what a rush this is,” Lawrence said to the table as he bit into a piece of chicken, “There’s nothing I’d rather be doing with my life, you know, it gets your adrenaline pumping that’s for sure.”

“We see some terrible things,” Richards pointed out, ever the voice of seasoned reason, “And it will get to you, over the years. You have to remember your training, compartmentalize those things if you don’t want it to bleed into your personal life.”

“How could this adrenaline rush affect my personal life? I feel like I could fuck eight girls, right now, into the mattress, sleep a few hours and do it again.”

Steve winced, so did Richards. He had been in the Navy enough to know how sailors talked, respect for the fairer sex not always quite there, particularly in Special Forces because it was filled to the brim with cocky bastards who treated everyone like crap, especially women. But, it didn’t stop Steve’s muscles from coiling tightly and his teeth to start grinding. He had two girls and to listen to a fellow SEAL disrespect and talk about women like that. No, under his command it was not acceptable.

“Lawrence, shut your mouth. We are the best of the best; we represent the Navy and the United States and with that comes a fuck ton of responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is respecting people, including women. If I ever hear you talk like that again, I will not hesitate to report you. Do I make myself clear, sailor?”

“Yes, sir.”

They ate the rest of their food in relative, slightly awkward silence. Lawrence was the first one out of his seat, heading towards the barracks without so much as a backward glance. Ripley and Sandler left soon after, saying goodbye to the three veterans.

“He’s an ass,” Gordon said once the younger men were out of sight, “and he’s starting to mess with the team, Steve.”

Steve may be the commanding officer, but he’d been with these guys since BUD/s and he considered them equals in most things, and he valued their opinion always.

“I know.”

“You’ve got to do something, McGarrett,” Richards added, “We’ve got to find someone else.”

Steve didn’t say anything, but knew both men were looking to him for answers, answers he didn’t have. Well, he did have but wished they weren’t true. He knew that the best thing to do for his team was to request a meeting with the Admiral and request a new team member. It would be pretty simple, and Steve had every right to re-evaluate the effectiveness of his team.

“I know it sucks man, but you know they’re going to rip you a new one when they find out about the situation with Amanda.”

Steve nodded. That was the problem. Steve knew it was only a matter of time before he was called into the Admiral’s office himself for a verbal lashing. Lawrence may have been the one to put the hostage in added danger, but Steve was his CO and was therefore responsible for his actions. 

“You’ve got to engage in a preemptive strike.”

And, yeah, that was exactly what Steve had been thinking, but he held back. Maybe, just maybe, the verbal beating wouldn’t be so bad, and he could continue on with the mission, making it clear that Lawrence was in the dog house. Because if he requested a new SEAL it would take at least two weeks to get him there, fill him in on their mission, and gear up to head back out again. And Steve didn’t want to waste another minute if he didn’t have to; he needed to be home with his family.

Because that god damn sinking feeling was back and he didn’t fucking know what to do about it. He knew Danny was keeping a secret from him, knew that something was happening at home, something big.

“Steve,” Richards pulled him from his thoughts.

“I know. You guys are right.”

“Hey, man, what’s going on?” Gordon was always the most perceptive of the bunch.

“It’s nothing. I should probably go work on getting that meeting with the Admiral.”

Steve went to move but Gordon grabbed his arm, “It’s just us, man. You know that whatever you tell us doesn’t leave here. You can’t keep acting like we don’t know you because we do. This is us; you can’t hide from us like we haven’t known you the past twenty years.”

“Its home, something’s happening but no one will tell me.” Even though Steve had been resisting talking about it, it felt good to finally let it out. These men were like his brothers, he trusted them with his life.

“Have you asked Danny?”

“Yeah, and he says things are fine, well except for the fact that Avery was sexually assaulted like a month and a half ago after getting wasted at a house party. But, yeah, everything’s all peachy according to him.” Steve couldn’t help the bitter sarcasm dripping from his words.

“What, Avery was assaulted,” Gordon exclaimed, trying hard to keep his voice down since they were still sitting in the very public mess hall. Richards was glaring right next to him. It felt good to know that there were people who knew how to kill a man a hundred different ways and who were as equally protective of Avery as he was.

“Yeah, I mean, she defended herself and nothing happened, more of an attempt than anything, but Danny didn’t tell me for weeks. And he said that he had every intention to and something came up. And, you know what, it sounds like such a crappy excuse for conveniently forgetting to tell me, but I actually believe him. I believe him because I know there’s something else going on, something big enough that it’s messing with his mind, making him forget these things. Because I know that Danny keeps some things from me while I’m deployed, and I understand why, but he’s never kept something like that from me. I know there’s a reason that he’s not telling me.”

“So it probably didn’t help much when Lawrence was talking about fucking girls into mattresses, not that that is probably a pretty sight anyway,” Richards tried to lighten the mood.

“No, it wasn’t funny.”

“And you hate the guy as much as we do, I can tell. But you’ve been reluctant since the get-go to say anything, and now it’s got us into some deep shit.”

“Yup.”

“But why have you been reluctant to say anything? In all the years we’ve known each other I’ve never known you to back away from an uncomfortable situation, especially when the safety of your team is at risk,” Gordon questioned.

Richards interrupted before Steve could speak, “It’s because you don’t want to take the extra time to get a new guy in here and up to speed. You want to get home.”

Steve nodded, head hanging in defeat, “It’s pathetic, right.”

“Not pathetic,” Richards assured. “It makes sense, okay, we both get it. You don’t think I want to get home immediately when the wife calls and says one of the kids is having some troubles. I want to drop everything, go AWOL if I have to, just to be there with her. I get it. We both do. You don’t think that we’ve had successful marriages through all of this without knowing that. But, you putting our team at risk because we’ve got a rogue member who won’t listen to orders and is messing up our dynamic is going to put us in a more vulnerable position. One of us could get hurt or worse. You could be going home in a body bag, or one of us could be and then you’d have to wait for another man. And instead of waiting the two weeks now, you’d have to wait longer because it takes time and you’d be burying a fellow sailor. And that will eat at you more because I know you McGarrett and you’ve always put the safety of your team before yourself. And that, that is why you are such an amazing commander. And Danny gets that. Sure, he can be a loud-mouthed asshole at times, but he loves you and he gets that about you. And, you know what; it’s one of the things he loves about you, no matter how many times he complains about your hero complex.”

Steve laughed, knowing that Richards was right. Danny ranted his ear off about proper police procedure, the value of back-up, and not putting himself in dangerous situations when they weren’t necessary. But Steve still saw the sparkle in Danny’s eye when he’d be cuffing the bad guy or re-holstering his gun after wasting the criminals. He knew that behind the bluster and the words was a wave of pride.

“I need to get home to my family.”

“And what good would it do if you’re going home in a body bag? It’s two more weeks to get the new guy here, two more weeks, but we all have a better chance of getting home safely.”

Steve nodded in agreement, unable to say anything more. Richards and Gordon got up, both gripping his shoulder a moment before heading out of the mess hall. Steve sat there a few more minutes by himself getting his thoughts in order. They were right, of course. He needed to find a new team member, one that actually gelled with the team.

But that meeting could wait long enough for him to check his e-mail and maybe make a phone call home.

*H50*  
Steve only had to wait twenty minutes for a computer this time, but the wait still seemed endless. He brought up his inbox, and sure enough, it was filled with e-mails from his ohana. He read through the ones from Chin, Kono, Kamekona, and even one from Max, first, and then he moved on to Grace’s. Grace’s e-mails were much lighter and happier than they were a few short weeks ago. Clearly her mended friendship with Avery was making a huge difference, and although she was still tight-lipped about her living situation, it was clear to Steve that she was at least doing better, and for him that was enough to keep her secret from Danny for a little while longer.

Danny’s e-mails were more of the same; it was still very obvious that he was hiding something. Steve could feel his blood pressure rising past its boiling point, his anger bubbling beneath the surface. He wanted to rip Danny a new one.

This was not acceptable. Lying, hiding, pretending things were okay when they weren’t. Steve couldn’t begin to imagine a world in which Danny lied to him. It was one thing when they did it to protect one of the girl’s, but it was another when the secret was clearly big enough that it required a gag order placed on everyone he loved.

Ugh, slamming the delete button on Danny’s most recent e-mail, Steve opened the last e-mail in his inbox, the only message he had received from Avery in over a month – not a good sign in and of itself.

Hi, Dad,

I know that I haven’t written in awhile but things have been pretty crazy here. I’m sure Danno and Grace have told you that Grace and I have finally made up, which is good. Summer practice is going well; I’ve gotten my personal best down by two seconds on the 100 breast. My coach even says he thinks I should be hearing from college recruiters soon! Can you believe that?

But I really wish you were here, Dad. I need you and our family needs you. I keep dreaming about you dying or leaving us here to deal with everything alone. I can’t lose you and I can’t lose Danno either. Dad, please, you need to come home so I don’t lose my family. I know that you need to protect the world and all that, but we need you here. Why does it matter if you protect the world when we’re falling apart right here?

And Danno will kill me when he finds out I’m writing this, but I just can’t anymore, Dad. He’s not doing well, we aren’t doing well. We need you. We need you to come home and make things better, remind us that we can make it through anything.

I need you. I can’t do this alone. I can’t lose the only family I’ve ever known, leave the only place I’ve ever known.

Please, Daddy, please come home.

Aves

If Steve’s anger had been boiling at the breaking point before he couldn’t even quite name what he was feeling now. A few weeks ago he had to read a pleading e-mail from one daughter who needed him, and now he had an e-mail from his other daughter begging him to come home and fix whatever mess his family had found themselves in.

Avery’s e-mail was still cryptic enough to keep him in the dark about whatever issue it was going on at home, but now at least Steve was certain something was happening. Something had Avery so distraught that she didn’t send e-mails to him, and when she finally did, she was ranting, begging, and pleading for him to come home.

And that was something he’d never read in one of her emails before. Sure, Avery would sign messages saying ‘hope to see you soon’ or ‘can’t wait till you’re home again,’ but she’d never outwardly asked him to come home. She knew better than anyone what it meant, Steve being a SEAL. She knew that he couldn’t come home until the mission was complete, and although she hated it sometimes, she never once asked him to come home. It was like an unspoken agreement between them.

So something bad had to have happened for Avery to be downright groveling at his feet for him to come home.

Anger seething in his mind, Steve got up and went to the nearest unoccupied phone line. He dialed a very familiar number, and had every intention of dialing it until someone on the other end picked up. 

Thankfully for the individual on the other end and the U.S. Navy (Steve would not be responsible for what happened to the phone should Danny not pick up), Danny picked up on the third ring.

“Williams.”

“Danny.”

“Steve, oh god, it’s so good to hear your voice. I didn’t think we’d get another call for awhile-”

“Yeah, listen Danny,” Steve cut him off, not in the mood for pretending things were okay, “I don’t have a lot of time to talk and even if I did I know that I’d spend the whole time yelling because I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you and at home but I’m tired of you keeping me in the fucking dark.”

“Steven,” and Steve knew that Danny was pinching the bridge of his nose, “I’ve already told you a million times that things here are fine. They aren’t perfect, they aren’t particularly great, but they’re fine. And the only reason they aren’t great or perfect is because you are not here, and it will not be great or perfect until you are.”

“You’re lying, Danny, and don’t try and tell me you aren’t. I know when you’re lying, I can tell in your voice.”

“In my voice, what are you fucking Nostradamus.”

“Nostradamus was a psychic Danny, he could look into the future, I just recognize your tones.”

“I do not have a tone.”

“Danny, we’ve had this conversation a hundred times; you have a tone, just get over it and tell me what the fuck is going on.”

“Steven, nothing is going on,” Danny’s voice was rising to meet Steve’s whose was already on a level higher than acceptable.

“Then why the fuck did I just get an e-mail from Avery basically downright begging me to come home and fix the mess that’s been made. Why is she talking about losing me, losing you, losing her home? What aren’t you telling me Danny?”

“SuperSEAL, you know me. You know that if anything was happening that was threatening this family I would tell you.”

“Yeah, I thought I knew you Danny, but I know that you are hiding something from me, so get on with it and tell me.”

“Steve, Avery’s been having a tough time with what happened at that party. She and Evelyn haven’t been talking as much and I think she’s just struggling. It’s normal teenager angst stuff. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. She will be fine, and I’ve got it under control.”

“That’s really it, Danny?”

“Yeah, babe, that’s really it.”

“God and here I was imagining the apocalypse descending down over Oahu.”

“No such thing happening here my friend. We do miss you though.”

“Miss you too, Danno.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“You gotta go soon?”

“Yeah, got a meeting I’ve got to get to.”

“And here I am thinking the only reason you stayed active in the SEALs was because it got you out of boring meetings.”

“Nah, these are worse, they don’t even let me bring my gun.”

“Stay safe, Steve.”

“Always, Danno.”

And Steve hung up the phone thinking the sinking feeling would have gone away, finally knowing what was going on at home, but it didn’t.

Steve knew the superstitious crap was bullshit, so he pushed the feeling aside and walked towards the command center, intent on getting a new SEAL out here ASAP so that the mission could be completed and he could go home and help Danny with the teenage meltdown he had on his hands.

And when the hell did Steve McGarrett decide that he’d rather face teenage meltdowns instead of Ak-47s? Well, he was certainly a family man now.


	15. Weight of the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for everyone who has been commenting on and reading this story! I know that it's been a long journey, but I hope it's been worth it! But, we've still got a long way to go with our favorite family!
> 
> Thanks to my awesome beta jerseybelle for all of her help with this chapter and the overall storyline problems I've been working through!

Steve had called four times in the past week, a record for him. Danny knew that he needed to be careful, couldn’t keep this secret from Steve for much longer. If he was honest with himself, Danny knew he had to tell Steve, but was terrified of the reaction he was going to receive. And, yeah, he’s not stupid. He knows that if he had come clean from the beginning when Gwen showed up all those months ago, Steve would probably be pissed, but not at him. Now, though, now Steve was going to be royally pissed at Danny and at Gwen. But because Steve won’t be able to have any contact with Gwen, all of Steve’s anger will be directed towards Danny, a prospect Danny was hoping to postpone for as long as possible.

But the fucking phone calls were making that difficult, each one more pleading and heartbroken than the last. Why did he dig himself into this hole? At one point Danny had a whole list of good reasons as to why he needed to keep Gwen’s return a secret from Steve. Top on the list was that he should wait until he talked to a lawyer, got things figured out. If they truly didn’t have anything to worry about, it would do a lot of good in appeasing Steve’s worry, increasing his likelihood of coming home.

Because, fuck, Danny had never been this scared over a deployment before. He’d never walked so softly on eggshells around Steve, steadfastly believing that telling him anything upsetting would be the cause of his death. And with everything going on at home, Danny knew he wouldn’t survive Steve coming home in a box. So he lied and kept Gwen’s custody battle a secret. 

But that didn’t mean that Danny wasn’t doing everything he possibly could to fight Gwen’s advances. Chin and Kono had set him up with a family lawyer they knew through a family friend; supposedly, she was the best on the island.

Danny had an appointment with the lawyer later that afternoon, but first he needed to get some work done. Five-0 had caught a drug smuggling case, and he was doing what any good detective would do, he followed the money trail. Granted, it was usually Chin’s job to do this research, his skills with the computer better than anything Danny could ever manage to do himself, but today Danny needed the monotony, so he was in HQ using the smart table while Chin and Kono were out questioning suspects.

“Hey, Danny,” Chin called out as the cousins met Danny in the center of the room, “We didn’t get anything too useful with the leads, just a possible old hangout of the cartel, but we drove by and it seemed dead, pretty sure it’s abandoned at this point.”

“Fuck,” Danny cursed, running a hand through his hair, gripping the ends tightly, “These guys keep slipping out of our hands. The money trail looks clean. If they are getting big scores from drug sales, they are doing a good job of hiding it. We may need to consider bringing in a forensic accountant; my rudimentary algebra skills are not cutting the mustard at this point.”

“I think a fresh pair of eyes in any capacity would be good at this point,” Kono included, her eyes clearly puffy from lack of sleep, “We’ve been spinning our wheels on this for a week; we’ve been pounding pavement both literally and figuratively and we’ve got crap to show for it. I’m up for anything that moves us forward.”

“Chin, do you think you can call HPD this afternoon, see if we can use the expertise of one of their accountants on this case,” Danny asked, shuffling around the papers he had been working on, placing them in a neat stack.

“Sure thing, Danny, but wouldn’t it be better if it was coming from you?”

“Probably, but I’ve got that meeting with the lawyer this afternoon, can’t miss it.”

Chin and Kono’s eyes immediately softened, pained expressions on their faces. It sometimes amazed Danny how seriously the residents of this island took the concept of ohana. Chin and Kono were just as worried about Avery’s well-being as Danny was. They were as equally concerned about Steve, Danny, and their family being okay. Danny knows he teased them, mentioned the unimportance of Hawaiian ways of life, but he was truly grateful; he probably should tell them that more often.

“Right,” Chin nodded, “Danny, I’m sure that everything will turn out fine. I mean, c’mon, Avery’s sixteen, I doubt they can just place her with whoever, not taking her feelings into account.”

“I know, I mean I’ve gone through similar stuff with Grace, and even when we originally planned out the custody agreement when Grace was five, her wishes were still heard by the judge. I don’t think they were completely taken into account, I seem to remember her waxing poetic about the joys of being with me, but they were acknowledged, and from what little I know about family law, I think that as children get older their opinion plays a bigger role. But I just can’t shake this sinking feeling that Steve’s job, our relationship, is going to bite us in the ass. You should have seen Gwen the day she threatened me with the custody battle. She’s gearing up for a fight; she’s going to pull Steve, me, and our family through the mud. I just can’t disappoint him like that. I will never be able to live with myself if I lose her.”

“You don’t have to do this alone, Danny,” Kono said, walking towards him, Chin not far behind, “You need to stop shutting us out, let us be there for you when Steve can’t be.”

“But he doesn’t know guys. And I appreciate that you all have respected my wishes and haven’t said anything to him, but how much longer can I keep this up?”

“You shouldn’t,” Chin warned. Danny scoffed; he’d heard every single one of Chin and Kono’s points about why keeping Steve in the dark was hurting everyone rather than helping anyone.

“Chin, I know your thoughts on the matter, and though I appreciate the fact that you both have kept to your word, this is my family and my business.”

“Danny,” Kono pleaded, causing him to turn around and look at her glistening eyes, “Danny, you are our family. You, Steve, Avery, Grace, you are more family to us than a lot of our blood relatives. You and Steve believed Chin when he told you all those years ago that he didn’t take the money, and all you needed was his word. You guys taught me everything I know about being a cop, and have supported my desire to take on bigger roles in Five-0 over the years. You think that doesn’t mean anything to us, because it does. You mean everything to us, and there isn’t anything we won’t do for our family. So, you need to get it through your thick skull that you can’t get rid of us that easily. You talk about doing things alone, but you don’t have to do them alone. In fact, we’ve sat by and let you do them alone but now we are stepping in and demanding that you stop with this bullshit and let us help you.”

Kono had worked herself up into a fury, hands balled into fists by her side, a crease in between her eyebrows as she glared death daggers at Danny. Danny shrunk under her gaze knowing that she was right, he was being an idiot. Chin and Kono had helped Danny so much during Steve’s first deployment; listening to him rant about his husband being god knows where doing god knows what. They sat with him while he lamented over what’s okay to tell and what’s pushing Steve’s focus and resolve too far. And nine times out of ten, they were right and Danny appreciated their advice. But for some unknown reason, he couldn’t take their advice now. For weeks, Chin and Kono had been begging Danny to see sense and tell Steve the truth. They believed that Steve could send a few e-mails or make a few calls to attorneys, at least to give the impression that he was willing to do what he could from so far away. Because, let’s face it, Steve’s job in the SEALs was going to be Gwen’s number one argument in court; she could provide a more stable, safe environment than Steve because her job didn’t require long absences and dangerous missions.

But fuck, Danny wanted to show Steve that he can keep it together here while Steve’s gone.

“You’re letting your pride get in the way, Danny,” Chin commented as if he knew what Danny was thinking at that very moment.

“What do you know,” Danny snapped, wincing at the harshness in his words. Sighing, he hunched over into one of the chairs around the room, “I’m sorry, man, I didn’t mean it, everything’s just so fucking messed up.”

“We know, which is why we want to help; Avery is our ohana too,” Chin sat next to Danny, “Is this your first meeting with the lawyer?”

Danny nodded, overcome with emotions that had been bubbling under the surface; he was incapable of talking at the moment.

“It will be fine. I’ve already done some digging into Gwen’s background for you. The folder’s on my desk, maybe it will help to bring it with you.”

Chin got up and walked towards his office, coming back a few minutes later with a manila envelope thicker than Danny had expected. Looking up at the older man, quirking his eyebrow in a questioning look, Chin just shrugged, “She has an interesting past.”

Danny couldn’t help himself, he laughed. Chin’s nonchalant manner made the entire scene more comical, and Danny was so punch-drunk exhausted from not having a single’s night’s good rest since the whole debacle started, that he laughed so hard tears started streaming down his face. It wasn’t until he looked up at Kono’s concerned face that he realized his tears of laughter had quickly dissolved into tears of fear and pain and sadness.

Kono stooped down and enveloped him in a hug. “Danny, it’s going to be okay.”

“No, it’s not, Kono,” Danny said, so defeated he wasn’t sure he could stand up and compose himself enough to even make it to the appointment, “Everything is falling apart. This, all of this, means nothing to me without my family. And, yeah, you and Chin are my family too and I love you guys and I’m glad you’ve been willing to put up with my bullshit these past few months, but my family with Steve is being threatened and I don’t know how to handle that. I can’t handle it anymore, not without him. I know I talk a good game, but it’s all bluster and nonsense; Steve’s the strong one, the tough one. He’s the one that holds me up and supports me from behind the scenes. I yell, I rant, and I seem to be the one in control, but it’s always him. He’s the one that remains silent while I yell; he’s the one that comforts when I can’t. How am I supposed to do this without him?”

“You don’t have to, Danny. You just need to tell him.” As she talked, Kono rubbed circles on Danny’s back, soothing his aching heart.

“But I can’t, I can’t tell him because if I tell him then it’s real.” He said it quietly, and at first he wasn’t sure either of them heard, but he could tell from Kono’s tightening grip and Chin’s sigh that they did, and Danny was thankful that they didn’t say anything to deny his feelings.

“What time’s the appointment?”

“Two.”

“You should get going, brah, lunch traffic is going to be brutal in the city,” Chin warned, helping Danny up from his chair.

“You’re right.” Danny went into the men’s room, splashed some cold water on his face, smoothed out his wrinkled shirt, and looked at himself in the mirror. It was a pitiful sight indeed. His hair was barely holding it’s normally coiffed state, he was sporting bags under his eyes that gave him the appearance of the living dead, and his normally shaved face was sprinkled with graying stubble. Well, it was the best it was going to get at this point, sleep and a good shower being the only things that could help rid him of his lackluster appearance, but both were out of the question.

He had a very important meeting, a meeting he needed to take to keep his family together.

*H50*  
Rebecca Morin was younger than he expected, but still sharp as a tack and clearly good at her job. Danny walked into her office and she greeted him with a firm handshake, sat him down, and got straight down to business.

“So, Detective Williams, I understand that your daughter’s mother is suing for partial custody, is that correct?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And what is your current custody agreement and when did you and Ms.-” she looked down at her notes to see Gwen’s name, “Reynolds come up with this agreement originally? And how old was your daughter, Avery.”

“Well, see, it’s kind of complicated.”

“Feel free to enlighten me, Detective,” her words sounded like they should be sarcastic, but her friendly smile made it clear that she wanted Danny to share any pertinent detail.

“Well, first off, Avery’s not technically my daughter, I mean biologically speaking,” Danny shifted uncomfortably in his seat. What if this lawyer wasn’t going to be comfortable with his family? Get a grip, he told himself, this woman came recommended by Chin and Kono, they would never send you to someone who wouldn’t be accepting.

“Okay, so how did you come about being her primary guardian then?”

“She’s my husband’s daughter.”

“Oh,” Rebecca gave a small nod and jotted a few notes down on the paper, looking back up a moment later, motioning for Danny to continue.

“That’s not going to be a problem for you, is it?”

“No, Detective, a family is a family, and if you believe that Avery belongs with you and your husband, than I am here to make sure that happens. But, if you don’t mind me asking, where is your husband?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry?”

Danny could have hit his head against the table, what a stupid thing to say. Of course she misunderstood what he said; when did he fall asleep and wake up stupid? Clearly the lack of sleep and working double over-times while trying to keep the household together was getting to him.

“That came out wrong,” Danny backtracked, “Steve is in the Navy; he’s a SEAL. He’s currently deployed, but due to his status as a SEAL, their missions are classified so I don’t actually know where he is, just that he’s on a mission with the Navy.”

“Okay, well that’s obviously something we can work with much better than your daughter’s biological father nowhere to be found.” Her smile was evident as she tried to bite back the laugh forming from watching Danny stutter and blush through his error. “There’s no need to be nervous, Detective.”

“Please call me Danny.”

“Okay, Danny, I’m here to help and I will do everything in my power to make sure the custody agreement you have in place stays. So, back to the details, when was this custody agreement formed?”

“Steve has been Avery’s sole parent since Avery was two months old. Gwen left her with him when he came back from his first deployment. She hasn’t called, written, or done anything to try and get in contact with him or Avery prior to her arriving here in Hawaii four months ago. Steve was an active duty Navy SEAL at the time, he would be called up for missions on a moment’s notice and he would never know how long he’d be gone. So, when Avery was six months old, Steve brought her here, to Hawaii, to live with his father. She was here with her grandfather until she was five, at which time he died and Steve came back, transferred to the Reserves, and began his job running the Five-0 Task Force.”

“And where does the custody agreement come into play?”

“I met Steve right after he came back. He hired me on as his partner, but soon after we realized what we meant to each other. We started dating officially when the girls were almost six, were married about a year later.”

“I’m sorry, girls? There are two children involved?”

“No, sorry, Grace is my biological daughter from my first marriage. She lives here in Hawaii with her mom and stepfather, and she spends every other weekend at our house. Her and Avery are best friends, and have been since they met when they were five.”

Danny couldn’t help but smile at the memories this conjured up of Avery and Grace wearing bathing suits and holding matching water pistols while they read him his rights and corralled him into the ocean.

“Okay, thanks for clearing that up, continue.”

“Because Steve was still in the military, we had to keep our relationship discrete. I was placed as his emergency contact, and I was his child care plan if he was ever called up for a mission. Luckily, being work partners helped keep the true nature of our relationship a secret, so it didn’t affect the girls or our lives very much. When Avery was ten, DADT was repealed and Steve and I officially got our civil union license. After that, we petitioned a judge to grant me legal guardianship of Avery. Because Gwen wasn’t in the picture, we called every number we had for her and left messages on the ones still in service. We also took out an ad in the local paper of the last place Steve knew her to be living; we even called the hospital where she worked in Virginia. She never showed up, so I was granted full, legal custody to Avery, thus stripping Gwen of her parental rights. We followed all of the rules to the letter, I swear.”

“I believe you, Danny, and it sounds like you were very thorough with that.”

“Nothing means more to me than my family, Ms. Morin, and I will do everything it takes to keep my family together.”

“Then I am here to help you.”

“So, you’ll take the case?”

“Yup, but even if I wasn’t as confident as I am, I still would have taken it for a friend of Chin and Kono’s.”

Danny had to remember to buy them lots and lots of beer the next time they had the opportunity to go out for a team night on the town.

“So, do you think we have a shot at winning?”

“Yes, I do. I think that any judge would be hesitant to grant even partial custody to a woman who left her child at two months old and only came back when she was sixteen. That won’t impress most people.”

“I feel like I sense a ‘but’ coming.”

She laughed, “But…Steve’s job is going to be a great sticking point for her to defend her position on.”

“Steve is a war hero.”

“I don’t doubt that, Danny, and I don’t like the idea of his decision to serve our country being used against him, but that’s what happens in these things. You have to be ready for it.”

“I know how these things work.”

“Good, so then you know that I’m going to have to ask you some difficult questions.”

Groaning, mental images of sitting in a small cubicle of an office of a part-time attorney in Newark going through hours and hours of grueling questions about his personal history and relationship with Rachel float through his mind, “Yes, unfortunately I do.”

Her smile was sympathetic, but appeared genuine. “Okay, so we will do a little background today to help me start with the search and devising a game plan for where we will move in the future.”

“Sounds good.”

“How many times has Mr. McGarrett been deployed since he transferred to the reserves?”

“Commander McGarrett, and he’s been deployed three times, this is his fourth.”

“How long do they normally last?”

“It really does vary depending on the mission; the shortest was three months and the longest was a year.”

“So, eight months give or take?”

“I’d say that’s probably the average, yeah.”

“Okay, and when Steve was gone, how did life here in Hawaii work?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how did you change your routines in order to make up for Steve not being there?”

“Oh, okay, well I had a lot of help from Chin and Kono and some of the parents of Avery’s friends from swimming. Basically, I tried my best to keep more regular hours, and had a constant list of babysitters in case someone needed to watch her last minute. Actually, my ex-wife let Avery stay over a lot when the girls were younger. But, no matter what, I still made it to almost every swim meet, parent-teacher conference, or school play she’s been in since I came into her life.”

“Are Steve’s deployments hard on Avery?”

“Of course they’re hard; they’re hard on all of us. He’s gone and he could die, is that supposed to be easy to handle?”

“Please, Danny, I’m not trying to upset you. I need to know the facts about Steve’s military career because I need to be able to prepare a defense against the argument that Steve’s job is a hindrance to Avery’s development.”

“Steve is Avery’s everything, her hero.”

“I don’t doubt that, Danny, and this information will help me show that to the judge.”

The questioning continued for twenty more minutes before Rebecca closed up her notebook and looked at Danny, “We will need to set up a time to meet in the next week or so to discuss our plans. I’m hoping that we can compile enough evidence that a full appeal in front of a judge won’t be necessary.”

“That would be great,” Danny said, thankful this may be more painless than he thought.

“But I have to warn you, Detective, it’s not going to look good if this goes to court and Steve’s not there.”

“What do you mean? Steve doesn’t have any control over when he comes home.”

“I know, but you might want to see if there’s any way you can make sure he’s home. Him not being there because he’s off on a mission will just play right into their argument that Steve’s job makes Gwen a better fit parent now than she was sixteen years ago.”

“What about Avery’s wishes?”

“A judge will certainly take into account her wishes concerning where she lives. Your case is unfortunately complicated due to Steve’s deployment, but I’m hoping we can solve it quickly.”

“So the fact that Avery’s been telling Gwen for weeks she doesn’t want to see her will help?”

“Yes, every little thing will help. I will be in touch, Detective.”

Danny shook her hand and walked out of the office. He felt a little better, at least she seemed to think they had a fighting chance, but the knowledge that Steve being gone could be the detail that causes Gwen’s whole case to present merit scared Danny. From the brief, frequent conversations he’s had with Steve over the past week, Danny’s surmised that they are on some sort of respite from their mission. Steve confirmed in so many words, implying that a change in personnel was causing a slight delay. Basically this all came down to the fact that Steve probably wasn’t going to be home in the near future.

But Danny felt confident in Rebecca’s abilities, so he got in the Camaro feeling slightly lighter than he had a few hours prior.

*H50*  
“I think I should have lunch with Gwen,” Avery announced so suddenly at dinner that Danny choked on his food and Avery had to run over and bang a fist on his back to get the food dislodged from his windpipe.

“I’m sorry, just yesterday you were saying how selfish of a person she is and how you never want to be in the same room with her.”

Avery shrugged, “Let’s just jot that down to PMS and move forward.”

Danny was skeptical, to say the least. Ever since Gwen had showed up on their doorstep, Avery couldn’t run away in the opposite direction fast enough. Suspicion clouded his thinking as Avery watched him hopefully.

“I don’t know, Aves, with everything going on I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

“Just hear me out, okay. I’ve been thinking a lot about this since she sent you all the court papers. Yes, I’ll admit, at first I was angry, and part of me is still very angry, but I’ve taken the time to realize that there’s more to it. I’m mad because it took a long time for me to come to terms with who I am and what my family is like, and although I’ve never been ashamed of our family, I did spend nights dreaming about what it would be like to have a mom. Trying to come to grips with the idea that my mom didn’t want me, couldn’t take care of me, abandoned me while simultaneously being teased mercilessly by kids at school wasn’t easy, it was damn near impossible. And then my life seemed to, at least, be beginning to turn around a tiny bit. Sure, Grace and I still weren’t speaking, but I had Evie and Ian and we were doing okay. She shows up. And she apologizes, says it’s her biggest regret. But how am I supposed to know if she’s telling the truth? Everyone leaves, she left, Grandpa left, Dad leaves all the time. No one stays with me for the long haul.”

“I’m here, Aves, always.”

“I know, and that was a big part of my change of heart. I realized that even if I got a cup of coffee or a meal with her, you will still be here when I get back. And if it doesn’t go well, I will still be able to make chocolate-chocolate cake and gorgonzola meatballs and spend the rest of the day on the couch, in my sweats, eating food that’s not good for me while you sit there with me eating the same exact heart attack-inducing foods while watching the same crappy movies. I want to hear her out, and now I know I can handle it because I have you.”

Danny took a few minutes to digest what Avery was saying. Part of him was ecstatic; Avery was telling him that she believed in their relationship, that she knew he’d always be there for her, something he had been questioning for awhile. But another part of him was screaming ‘Danger Will Robinson, Danger!’ Something felt off about Avery’s sudden change of heart, but Danny was so tired, so strung out from the emotional rollercoaster his life has been these last few weeks, that for the fucking life of him he couldn’t put his finger on it.

Some detective he was.

He finally relented, telling Avery that he would be okay if she had lunch with her mom, but that it would be kept to a strict time limit and after they discussed it, a decision about further meetings would be determined.

Jumping up from her seat and wrapping an arm around his shoulders, she whispered, “Thanks, Danno,” in his ear before going up to her bedroom to call Gwen and arrange the meeting.

The lunch happened a few days later at Avery’s favorite café in downtown Honolulu. It was within walking distance of the Palace, which was the only reason Danny approved off the spot in the first place because they put pineapple on pizza.

When Avery came back to HQ at the designated time, she looked no worse for the wear. She told Danny that everything went fine; Gwen was very apologetic and answered all of the questions Avery had. Danny asked if she wanted to see Gwen again, and Avery said yes, but that she needs to wait a few more days before she will feel up to it again.

Pulling her in for a hug, his chin resting on the top of her head (because who knew that his daughter would shoot up like a weed but Steve’s would stay adorably petite), he held her tight, never wanting to let go. 

Although he was happy that maybe, just maybe, Gwen and Avery may be able to form some sort of decent relationship, he couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous that Avery was okay looking for another parent. He knew it was petty and stupid because, one, no one would ever replace him in Avery’s life and for all the worry he’d had about that over the past few months, if he was honest he knew that she loved him, and two, Gwen would always be the mother that walked away from her.

“I’m glad that it went well, munchkin,” Danny said as Avery pulled away and flopped down on the couch in his office.

“It did. I’m glad I went.”

“We can discuss you going again tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.” Avery played with the frayed edges of a throw pillow put on the coach one night after a long case and Danny had grabbed the first thing he could find that would be comfortable enough to put his head on.

“Everything okay?” Danny questioned.

“Yeah, it’s just hard, you know. I wish that Dad was here; I wish that I could ask him things about mom, about them together. I asked her about dad and how they met and stuff and she told me everything. I’ve asked Dad those things and he glosses over it, tries to change the subject.”

“I think your dad always felt torn talking about your mom.”

“But why? I mean, it’s not like I ever wanted him to spend hours telling me every little detail, but something would have been nice. I mean, he could have at least told me if I looked like her.”

“He said that you always reminded him of her, but I firmly believe that you have your father’s eyes and annoying penchant for being perky in the morning and liking exercise.”

She laughed, burying her head in the pillow as she pulled her knees up to her chest, “Dad didn’t want me to meet her, did he?”

Danny didn’t know how to handle this question. Danny knew the answer, knew that Steve had said straight out that he would never trust Gwen around Avery, but that he never would want to color her judgment, allowing Avery to make her own decisions and form her own opinions. Danny was treading into dangerous waters. He felt that he needed to tell Avery what her father believed, but what if Steve didn’t want her to know.

And Danny was kicking himself even more now for not telling Steve the truth. What the fuck was he thinking, keeping this from him? Keeping him safe, Danny reminded himself, and even though he repeated the mantra in his head over and over, the lingering gut feeling that he had made a big mistake still lingered, but Danny pushed it away to focus instead on the questions Avery was asking.

“Gwen really hurt your dad, and I think that will always play a role in his relationship with her, but he has been adamant that he never say anything that could color your opinion of your mother; he wanted you to be free of bias, and instead make your own judgment.”

“But I trust Dad’s opinion.”

“Yeah, but you’re growing up, and sometimes that means having to make our own decisions without people we love there to help us.”

“You love me, don’t you Danno?”

“More than anything, munchkin.”

“I love you too, and nothing and no one will ever change who I define as my parents. No matter what happens with my mother, you will always be my father, Danno.”

Danny didn’t say anything, but he felt a shiver of emotion tingle up and down his spine. He felt a small bubble of hope and confidence start forming in the depths of his soul; this will work out, it had to.

*H50*  
Avery and Gwen had met a few more times, and life seemed to be settling down a little in the McGarrett-Williams household. Avery wasn’t nearly as moody now that Grace was a regular guest, Danny had been able to get in a solid week’s worth of good sleep, and Gwen had stopped pestering him daily about visiting with Avery.

All in all, Danny Williams was thinking that maybe his luck was turning around.

How wrong he was.

Steve’s calls ended abruptly. It wasn’t like Danny didn’t expect them to end at some point; he knew that the uncharacteristically high number of calls in the last two weeks were a fluke, and only due to the fact that a change in personnel was ordered for Steve’s team. But, Danny had fallen back into pattern, expecting Steve to call every day. And when three days passed without a call or an e-mail, Danny didn’t feel ashamed admitting that he was bummed. His rational self told him to remember that this meant Steve was back working on the mission, and working on the mission meant closer to completing it, and closer to completion meant it was almost time for him to come home.

But even with the lack of communication from Steve, something he’d gotten used to a long time ago, Danny was feeling better than ever, which was why he decided to beg off work early and head to the Y to watch Avery’s swim practice.

Rarely did either him or Steve watch Avery practice, especially now that she was driving herself. However, he felt the need to relish in a familiar setting, seeing Avery in her element. Because there was no place on the planet earth that Avery came more alive in than the water, be it the pool or the ocean. Her eyes sparkled, her lips were held in a constant smile unless they were tightened in concentration during a hard set or competition, and Danny could see tension and stress immediately fall from her shoulders as she dove into the water. 

Danny sat silently on the bleachers, mesmerized by the young woman he saw before him, no longer a little girl who cried about her bathing cap being too girly and disliking every hair style but pigtails. She was taking on a leadership role, he could tell. She was cheering on the younger swimmers, giving pointers when needed, but most importantly, something Danny knew she’d inherited from Steve, she led by example. She was the first one off the wall at the start of a new set, she talked to everyone, and she was the last one out of the pool, making sure to say something nice to every swimmer as they made their way towards the locker room.

Danny couldn’t help the bubble of pride that swelled in his chest to think that she was his. Danny watched as Avery and Ian talked and laughed for a few minutes on the pool deck before separating to go into their designated changing rooms. He laughed a little to himself; he knew it was only a matter of time before that friendship turned into something more, and although he didn’t relish in the thought of either girl dating, he liked Ian.

As Danny was about to leave, no need to wait for Avery who would probably be embarrassed and upset he was there, her coach, Mike, sat down in the chair next to him.

“Hey, Danny, haven’t seen you or Steve in awhile,” he held out his hand for a shake, Danny grasping his hand firmly.

“Yeah, well, you know, kids grow up and they aren’t too keen on being seen with their parents, plus Avery got her license a few months ago so she’s been driving herself to and from practice.”

“She’s had a fantastic summer season, which will be important for her, moving forward. She’s coming into her junior year, and although you would think that the senior season would be most important for college recruiting, junior year is where the groundwork is set, where colleges come up with a short list of kids they want to scout senior year.”

Danny nodded along; overwhelmed with the college recruiting process he, Steve, and Avery would be embarking on soon. Luckily, Mike had plenty of experience and had been Avery’s coach for many years; Danny and Steve counted him as a good friend and they trusted his judgment.

“I know that whole process seems really overwhelming, and unfortunately, a lot of the big schools are going to want to talk to Avery, and they will hound you, but luckily we can be prepared.”

“I just hope it doesn’t start before Steve gets home.”

“Yeah, Avery said something about him being deployed a little while ago. Have things been okay for you guys?”

“Well, it started out with Grace and Avery not speaking to each other, then Avery’s mother showed up sixteen years too late, then there was a whole debacle with a house party, and I haven’t told Steve any of this. So, things, hmm, things aren’t all that great, but we’re pulling through. It’s been looking up this past week or so.”

Danny relished his relationship with Mike. Even though neither he nor Steve had been to practice in awhile, they easily fell back into the comforting companionship they were used to, back from when Steve and/or Danny would stay at every practice, having a conversation with Mike while waiting for Avery to finish changing. Eventually, Mike started spending time in the gym with Steve, learning self-defense moves, and through the process they became friends. It also helped that Mike was Ian’s father, and since Ian had been hanging out with Avery since they were ten, Mike and his wife had spent many evenings on Steve and Danny’s lanai, watching the kids play on the beach.

“Do you remember when we used to joke about Avery and Ian?”

Danny smiled, “Yeah, we were having such a great time becoming friends that we thought it would just be wonderful if we were family someday. We were very corny in our young age.”

“I think our wish is going to come true.”

“I think so too.”

“Is it terrifying for you? Because I know it is for me and Ian’s my son, I can’t imagine if I had a daughter going through it.”

“Yes, absolutely terrifying, but you know, as much as I wish I could put her in a convent until she’s fifty, I know that this would have to come to pass at some point, and I like Ian and I like you and Marilyn, so I trust them. Plus, I know that I won’t have to worry when they are over your house.”

“I sort of feel like we are getting ahead of ourselves.”

“I thought so too, but Steve’s been predicting it’s going to happen for months. He even put a warning window decal on Avery’s car to remind Ian that he’s a Navy SEAL.”

“You won’t ever have to worry about, Ian.”

“I know, he’s a good kid, but Avery’s been going through a lot and it makes me nervous that her head isn’t in the right place. But, if anyone can help her through – has been helping her through it – it’s Ian.”

“I overheard them talking yesterday when she was at our house.”

Danny looked over at Mike, keenly aware that whatever he was about to say was the sole purpose for talking to Danny this afternoon, “Yeah?”

“Avery was telling Ian that she’s been spending time with her mom.”

“Yeah, I think it’s going well.”

“Ian asked why now seeing as she’s been fighting it for so long. Avery said it was because she was worried about you and the stress that the custody battle has put you under. She said that she’d never seen you so stressed and anxious during a deployment and she was worried about you.”

“Oh fuck,” Danny’s head fell, hands raking through his hair, “How could I be so blind to not see that move? It’s such a Steve move, being the martyr, taking on everyone else’s problems. Fuck.”

Mike placed a comforting hand on Danny’s shoulder, “It’s going to be okay. I just thought you should know.”

“Thanks, man, I really appreciate it.”

“And Marilyn and I are here for you, Danny. I’m happy to help extra with the college swim programs and Avery’s welcome over our house anytime. She’s become a wonderful young woman.”

“Yeah, if Steve’s not back I’ll probably need help with the swim stuff. I just, ugh, I feel so stupid for not guessing that there was a different motive to seeing her mom.”

“Danny, I haven’t seen you in weeks, and I can tell just by looking at you the pressure and stress you are under. This isn’t how you normally are during Steve’s deployments. She’s seeing this too, and she’s worried about you because she loves you. I’ve noticed over the years that you worry, question whether or not she cares about you and looks at you like a father, seen the flicker of doubt in your eyes a few times. But, I promise, that without a doubt, Avery loves you. She holds onto you like a lifeline because you have been the only constant parental figure in her life; you’ve never left her. For someone whose mother left when she was a baby, whose father is in the military, that’s the main thing that’s given her the opportunity to succeed the way she has.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore; Mike, everything’s falling apart and I can’t bring myself to tell Steve anything.”

“Why not?”

“Because if I do and it causes him to get distracted and he dies, I’ll never forgive myself and I will never be able to look Avery in the eye again.”

Mike sighed, looking over at the crumpled stature of his good friend, “Looks like Steve’s not the only person who takes the weight of the world on his shoulders. You don’t have to be the one that keeps it all together, you know, it’s okay to need help.”


	16. Broken Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. This has taken me a long time to post. I am deeply sorry, but I just wasn't in a good place to write, plus I had a conference I had to go to for a few days. But, I take a lot of pride in this story so I never want to post a chapter I'm not happy with. And I really hope that this chapter is worth the wait and lives up to everyone's expectations!!
> 
> I want to thank my awesome beta jerseybelle who literally rocked out an amazing beta job in only a few short hours so that I could post this tonight!!
> 
> Please let me know what you think :)

*Danny's POV*

Danny confronted Avery that evening at dinner. He wasn’t going to let this go on longer than it had to; she was going to come clean about the reason she wanted to meet Gwen in the first place.

“Avery,” Danny started, “come sit outside with me. We need to talk.”

“Sounds ominous,” Avery quirked, following him outside and gracefully lowering herself onto one of the deck chairs.

“I talked to Mike today, and he said that you told Ian that you’re only seeing your Mom in hopes it will take some of the stress off me because maybe she will drop the lawsuit.”

Avery’s eyes looked everywhere but at him, the tell-tale McGarrett blush creeping up her neck as she tried to find the correct words to use in reply.

“Don’t know what to say? How about ‘Danno, it was stupid but I was worried and I didn’t know what else to do,’ that might be a good place to start.”

“Trying to help you is a good reason,” Avery countered.

“You are so your father’s daughter.”

“Thanks,” she smirked.

“That was not a compliment.”

“Don’t worry, I know. If you say I’m too much like Dad it’s always an insult, and when he says I act like you it’s also an insult. But, I’ve decided that I think you guys are both pretty awesome and did alright for yourselves in life, so I’ve decided to take those as compliments instead of insults.”

“Smart.”

She just smiled in return, falling back into silence.

“But, seriously, Aves, you don’t have to worry about me. If you are, come talk to me; don’t go trying to solve problems that I should be figuring out.”

“I’m not a little kid anymore, Danno. You can’t protect me forever. Sure, I met up with Gwen at this point in time because you were running yourself ragged, but I’d been thinking about giving her a chance for a while. I needed to know why she left, for me. And now, now I like spending time with her. It’s nice to have a woman to talk to about things.”

“I’m glad that things are going well, Avery, but it’s making me nervous. You’ve come home late a few times and you haven’t been doing your summer reading homework; usually you have all of that read months before school starts.”

“It’s summer, Danno. Plus, Gwen said it’s not like I need to be anywhere in the morning.”

“Except swim practice.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like that takes any sort of brain power.”

“Driving to practice does.”

“Whatever. Look, it’s better now. I like getting to know her.”

“I don’t think I like some of the things she’s letting you do. I am still the parent around here, and what I say is law in this house.”

“You’re being completely unreasonable. Fine, I’ve stayed out a little late a few nights in the past week, big deal. I’m spending the time with my MOM,” Avery yelled the last bit as she stood up and threw open the lanai door.

“Avery Lynne, do not yell at me.”

“Then don’t tell me what to do.”

“I am your father and I can and will tell you what to do. And I’m saying that I think it’s time we lay off the Gwen visits for a little while.”

“No, you can’t keep me from my mother.”

“She’s not a good influence.”

“I hate you,” she yelled as she ran up the stairs, tears streaming down her face. Danny heard the door slam a few seconds later, the whole house rattling from the force.

Danny sighed; all of the good signs that had been building up in the past week were now tumbling down. Danny was seriously in way over his head and he had no idea how to stay afloat anymore.

*H50*  
Grace came by again that night. She’d been coming up with excuse after excuse as to why she needed to spend the night there instead of with Rachel. For the most part, Danny was too overwhelmed to think much of it, but he’s beginning to get a little suspicious.

At that point, after going three rounds with Avery, he wasn’t really in the mood to argue. Grace and Avery spent most of the night in Avery’s room talking. Danny thinks, momentarily, about trying to listen to their conversation, maybe get some insight into what’s going on, what’s causing his family to fall apart in front of him, but he stops himself at the last minute; there’s no way he could bear to look at himself in the mirror if he stooped so low as to use eavesdropping to learn more about his daughters’ lives.

It took him hours to fall asleep, worry causing him to toss and turn most of the night. Before he knew it, the alarm was going off and he was up getting things ready for Avery to leave for swim practice.

He could already tell that Avery was awake; he could hear the banging and slamming from down the hallway. He pulled on some sweats and padded down towards her bedroom door. Knocking, he pushed it open after she said come in.

“Hey, keep it down a little, Grace is still sleeping.”

Avery didn’t say anything, just glared at him from across the room and slammed the dresser drawer she had open for good measure.

Danny felt his anger rising, felt it coming to a point he wasn’t comfortable with. Taking a few calming breaths he said, “I will not be treated like this, do you understand? I am your father and deserve your respect. You are grounded for the rest of the summer.”

“But, Danno,” she whined.

“No, swim and home for the next two weeks. I don’t care what you say or what you do; I’ve never seen you behave this way, and, frankly, it kills me to see you like this. You aren’t acting like the mature sixteen year old I know you are. Instead, all I’ve seen is a petulant child and I’ve already raised two children, so I don’t have any desire to go back there. Get your things together, quietly, and go to practice. You are to come right home afterwards, no questions. If you aren’t back by six I’m calling HPD.”

“I think calling HPD because I missed a curfew is a little overboard, don’t you think?”

“I will decide if it’s overkill.”

Danny left without a look behind him, weariness settling into his shoulders as soon as her door closed behind him. She came downstairs a few minutes later, huffed her way into the kitchen, not looking in his direction, and walked out the door without a second glance. Danny was already nursing his second cup of coffee; today was going to be a long day.

Just as he was about to go upstairs and hit the showers, he heard the familiar footsteps of his other daughter come down the stairs.

“Hey, monkey, did Avery wake you?”

Grace nodded, a yawn marring her otherwise pretty features, “It’s okay; I know she’s upset.”

“Upset about what?”

“Nice try, Danno, but I’m not ratting on Avery. She tells me things because she knows I’ll keep them private; I can’t break that trust.”

“I know,” Danny acquiesced. “So, why did you get up and not go back to sleep?”

“I was having trouble sleeping anyway, so it was never going to happen regardless. I figured I might as well just get up and use the few extra hours here before I have to go home.”

Danny didn’t miss the inflection in her voice like she was trying to hold back a whimper.

“Grace, is everything okay at home?”

“Yeah,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. She cleared it, “Yeah, everything’s fine. I’ve just missed being here, that’s all. Plus, I know that it must get lonely for you without Steve.”

“I’ve got Avery.”

“Look, Danno, Avery is my sister and she’s my best friend, but she’s been in a pissy mood recently and you don’t have to pretend otherwise.”

Danny laughs, words more true never leaving her mouth before. “You speak the truth, my lovely Grace. How about some breakfast?”

Grace looked over at the clock, “I can eat quick before I have to get back to Mom’s.”

“You don’t want to stay?”

“I would love to, but mom said I need to be at some stupid event brunch thing she’s hosting today. No way will she let me get out of it.”

“Grace,” Danny walked over and put his hand on her shoulder, “you know that you can tell me anything, right?”

He could tell that there was something she wasn’t saying, something she was hiding.

“I know, and I will when the time is right. But please don’t worry, Danno. I’ve already talked to Steve a lot about it, so I promise I’ve had adult guidance.”

“I wouldn’t really call Steve an adult, more like an overgrown child.”

Grace laughed as she ate the last of her cereal. She hopped off her chair, put her bowl in the sink, and placed a quick kiss on his cheek before she walked towards the stairs, “I love you, Danno.”

 

*H50*  
Avery came into the house after swim practice wearing a Navy SEALs tank top and a pair of running shorts. Her flip flops thwapped against the floor of the hallway as she walked towards the kitchen, where she knows he’s making breakfast. When Danny turns around to say hello, good morning, and the usual chit-chat that occurs during the morning meal, he notices the look on her face. It’s not a good look; no, it’s a look so much like her father’s that Danny was swearing genetics up and down inside his head. She was wearing what was affectionately known as aneurysm face, and god damn if she didn’t look even more distraught with that face than Steve did.

“Is there something bothering you this morning, munchkin?”

Avery glared up at him over the rim of her water bottle. So, childhood nicknames were not going to soothe this situation. Okay, Danny had underestimated the ability of a good swim to clear her head a little. He knew she’d still be angry, but he truly thought a good workout would calm her down a little.

Apparently he was very wrong.

“Was practice okay this morning?”

Danny got a shrug of her shoulders in response. The uncanny similarity between his partner and their daughter was usually adorable, but in moments like this it was stomach-churning unbearable because she was putting on the stoic ‘I have no human emotions’ face that she learned all too well from her sometimes emotionally-constipated father. Danny began to open his mouth, prepared with his jolt of caffeine to go ten rounds of twenty questions if need be to get her to talk to him.

“I’m going for a run,” she said before he had the opportunity to chime in with a new question. She was on her feet and lacing up her running shoes before Danny fully registered what she had said.

“A run? You just had an hour and a half swim practice and now you are going to run? I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

Avery pretended not to listen to his concern, grabbing her iPod out of her swim bag and strapping on her arm band to hold it in place. “Two miles tops, promise. Plus exercise has always been excused when we’re grounded.”

And with the shit-eating grin he gets way too often from her father, she jogs out the door, leaving Danny stilled speechless in the kitchen doorway. Danny cursed Steve out, loudly, in the middle of their empty kitchen for ever coming up with such a ridiculous rule.

She wasn’t taking his reaction to her burgeoning relationship with Gwen very well. And if there was anything he had learned about the McGarrett members of his family, they weren’t ones to wear their emotions on their sleeves or discuss them like productive human beings, no they bottled them up behind barb-wired walls and used physical exertion to compartmentalize them. McGarretts ran or swam when life got too difficult. Though Danny wasn’t too keen on the idea of his sixteen year old daughter running “only two miles” after having swum an hour and a half swim practice, he knew that she was hardwired like her father to withstand torturous amounts of physical exercise. He also knew that as much as he griped about their odd propensity for early-morning exercise, he knew that both Avery and Steve felt loads better after having sweated out their emotional burdens.

Danny finished his morning routine and was straightening his tie when his cell phone rang on the bedside table. Coming out of the bathroom to grab it, his breath immediately hitched when he saw Restricted Number flash on the screen. Taking a deep breath to steady his voice, he answered, “Detective Williams.”

“Hi, Detective Williams, this is Nancy from Queen’s Medical, I just wanted to call and let you know that Avery’s here with what looks to be a broken ankle and she came in with a woman she’s claiming is her mom.”

Danny let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. This call wasn’t about Steve being wounded or killed in action, which was his first thought, but the actual call wasn’t much better. “She broke her ankle? And she called Gwen?”

“I know that Commander McGarrett isn’t here and, well, you’ve never mentioned her mother before…”

Nancy’s voice drifts off, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation.

“Thank you, Nancy. I’m on my way over.”

“She’s in the ER waiting for an x-ray.”

Danny clicks the phone shut and quickly makes his way to the Camaro, shoving the key into the ignition and turning the car over as it purrs to life. He breaks all sorts of traffic laws on his way to the hospital, but he’s not really thinking because his sweet little girl is hurt, at the hospital, and she didn’t call him, she called Gwen, which was really making Danny’s blood boil because Gwen had no right to comfort Avery, ever. She wasn’t there when Avery was up every night for a week with a bad case of the flu, barely able to string two coherent sentences together. Gwen didn’t wake up at four-thirty every morning for years to take Avery to swim practice. Gwen did not go to parent-teacher conferences, school assemblies, swim meets, or any other event involving her daughter. No, she just arrived on the scene with all sorts of crazy ideas in her head that she had the right to be a mother now, after being nothing more than a tragic memory of Steve’s and a gaping hole in Avery’s life for sixteen years.

Danny walked into the ER and immediately found Avery sitting on one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs that decorated every hospital in America, because really this was a place of illness and death and serious injuries, and the damn doctors of the world couldn’t spring for more comfortable seating. Go figure. She saw him enter, her eyes rightfully downcast because she knew she was in trouble.

“I’m sorry, Danno. I know you’re angry,” she said as he came towards her. And she was right, he was angry. Actually, angry didn’t even really begin to cover the spectrum of emotions he was feeling at the moment, but it was close enough. However, as he glanced down at the purplish-blue cantaloupe that was supposed to be her ankle, he thought his anger could be stored for another time; right now it was about making sure she was okay.

“We will talk about it later. Right now, I want to know if you’ve seen a doctor yet.”

“Yeah, he came over about twenty minutes ago and looked at it, saying they can’t do anything until I have an x-ray done, but he’s pretty sure it’s broken. They won’t know the extent of the break until the x-rays come back.”

“Okay, now, you don’t move,” Danny smiled as Avery rolled her eyes; she knew he knew she wasn’t exactly walking anywhere anytime soon. “I’m going to find the doctor.”

Danny walked up to the front desk and asked the secretary for information on Avery. The nurse gave him a quizzical look. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

“I’m Detective Danny Williams and I want to know the status of my daughter, Avery McGarrett.”

The secretary looked back at him. “I’m sorry, sir, but she came in with your ex-wife and the doctor gave her all the information. We can’t release information about an underage patient to anyone who isn’t a parent or guardian.”

“First, Gwen is not my ex-wife, and I just said I was her father.”

“According to the paperwork her mother filled out, Avery’s father’s name is Steven McGarrett.”

“Yes, Steve’s my husband and I adopted Avery when she was ten. I’m her emergency contact, legal guardian, and am fully legally able to make all of her medical decisions.”

“But her mother said that she was the only family member present because her father is deployed.”

“Are you taking stupid pills today? I’m Avery’s adoptive father. Gwen is not Avery’s legal guardian anymore.”

“She said that she was protesting that fact.”

“So, that doesn’t mean it’s not a fact.”

At that moment, Gwen made her appearance, waltzing in with a cup of coffee in one hand and a tabloid in the other, “What’s the problem, Danny.”

“The problem? The problem? The problem is you aren’t legally able to swoop in here and be Avery’s guardian. It doesn’t work like that, especially in a medical setting because you have no idea about Avery’s medical history. There is no way you could fill out all that paperwork. You don’t know what other illnesses or injuries she’s had, you don’t know what she’s allergic too, or anything.”

“Avery’s sixteen, I asked her.”

“Well, did you write down that Avery had an allergic reaction to penicillin when she was seven, so she’s not able to have any antibiotics that are derived from penicillin?”

“Yes, Avery knows she’s allergic to penicillin.”

“Did you know that the doctors can’t use latex gloves because she’s allergic?”

Gwen shook her head, “Avery didn’t say she was allergic to latex.”

“That’s because she’s sixteen, injured, and distraught over everything that’s been happening in her life. She was mostly drugged out on heavy duty painkillers when we realized she was allergic to latex; she barely even remembers being in the hospital, so she tends to forget that allergy.”

Gwen and Danny continued to argue until the secretary asked them to be quiet. Danny, anger flashing in his blue eyes, rounded on her, “Quiet, I will give you fucking quiet when you hand me my daughter’s paperwork so I can make sure everything is right. This woman-” he jerks his thumb in Gwen’s direction, “has no idea about any of Avery’s medical history, insurance information, or the fact that Avery’s now going to be missing school so she needs to make sure to call the office so they don’t think she’s truant. Now, will you please get me her doctor and paperwork and tell me what the fuck is wrong with her ankle.”

The secretary looked scared; she was visibly shaking after having been yelled at by an angry detective who was carrying a gun and clearly not happy to be standing next to the woman he was currently going head-to-head with. After a few phone calls to the town hall and Navy, to confirm that Danny was in fact Avery’s legal guardian, Danny was finally given all of the information. He turned back towards Avery, who was talking on her phone, with a smug grin as she saw him look at her.

She extended the phone out to him, “Dad would like to talk to you.”

Danny spluttered unintelligible words together as he grabbed the orange phone from her hand, “You called your father? How did you even get a hold of him, he’s supposed to be in the jungle or desert or somewhere in god knows what country playing ninja-spy.”

Avery shrugged her shoulders, the smug grin becoming more prominent on her face, “I called the Navy, told them there was an urgent emergency for Commander McGarrett, that his daughter was in serious need of medical attention, and her legal guardianship was being argued in the hospital waiting room. They put me through to his sat phone.”

“You called the Navy?!”

Danny didn’t have time to form coherent thoughts because he already heard his insane partner yelling at him through the phone, “Yes, babe, can I help you?”

“Why didn’t you tell me Gwen came back?” Steve yelled so loud Danny had to hold the phone away from his ear, so as to protect his sensitive hearing, “I can’t believe you fucking hid this from me, Danno. Avery said she’s been there for months. Months! Danny, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“Protecting your sailor, making sure his mind is on his mission, isn’t that like the universal code a military spouse swears by when they decide to hitch themselves to a military man,” Danny yells back. “Or woman,” he adds at the last minute.

“Fuck that, Danny. You know that’s not how we work. You know I can’t focus on my mission if I think you’re hiding things from me. And I knew it, you know, I knew there was something off, something you were hiding. And for weeks I’ve tried to believe you when you tell me things are going okay. Is there anything else that you would like to share, while we’re at it?”

Damn it all to hell if Danny didn’t know exactly what face Steve was making at that very moment. And damn it all even farther into hell if it didn’t make him sigh and smile just a little to realize he was hearing Steve’s voice for the first time in a few weeks and that he was very sure Steve was wearing his ‘are you going to fuck with me’ look, which when directed at anyone other than Danny, usually made Danny’s pants a little tight. And damn it to the farthest depths of hell if Danny was so starved for any sort of physical contact that the damn face – even though he couldn’t see it – pointed in his direction still made his skin sweat and his muscles tense just a little.

“Avery’s most likely broken her ankle. And Gwen is trying to sue for her maternal rights back.”

Danny heard Steve hiss out a breath as the true weight of the predicament their family had found themselves in fell on his shoulders. “Shit,” he whispered, “can she do that?”

“I’ve already found a lawyer, and she seems to think we should be okay, but if they push this to civil court she said it will be almost necessary to our cause for you to be here. I explained to her that I had no idea when you would be home, but she seemed to not grasp that fact. She said that it would be imperative for Avery’s actual biological parent to be present, explaining exactly what Gwen has done in Avery’s life.”

“Which is nothing,” Steve added as Danny let out a breath.

“Yeah, I told her that. She said it will hold more weight coming from you.”

“Well, we are just going to have to figure it out. I mean, I can try and see what I can get some of my contacts to dig up-”

Danny shook his head violently, not that Steve could actually see it, and his hands came up in protest, not that Steve could see that either. “No, no, Super SEAL, you need to focus on coming home to us in one piece. I have this covered. I have a good lawyer and Kono and Chin have been looking into Gwen’s background. Don’t worry your crazy-little head off okay. I want you to keep yourself from getting shot and let me worry about this.”

“Danno,” it came out as barely more than a whisper. Danny knew that meant Steve felt responsible; that Steve felt he wasn’t there for his family the way he needed to be, but damn if Danny was going to let Steve believe he couldn’t handle this on his own.

“I miss you; we all miss you, Steve. But, I have all of this covered, I promise. I would never let our family be torn apart.”

“I know.”

“So just trust me, okay. And I promise no more secrets. I just didn’t want the only thing I tell you, in the five minute phone call we have maybe once a month, to be that your ex is back in town demanding to be a mother to Avery.”

Danny knew Steve was nodding his head, eyes looking at the floor, and scrubbing his face with his hand because that’s what Steve always did when he knew Danny was right but didn’t want to give up the grip he had on his bat-shit-insane belief that everything wrong in the lives of his loved ones was his fault. But Danny also wasn’t stupid enough to think that Steve wasn’t still insanely mad at him.

Danny saw the doctor making his way towards them. “Look, babe, I have to go, the doctor’s here about Avery’s ankle. Don’t get shot, okay! Stay safe.”

“I love you, Danno. You and Avery and Gracie. I love you guys and you’re what keep me going over here.”

“You just make sure you come back to us all, because you keep us going here.”

“I will, I promise.”

“And, Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Danno loves you.” And Danny could hear Steve’s smile through the phone before he heard the click of the line going dead. He turned towards his stubborn daughter with a look that clearly told Avery the kind of trouble she was in not only for calling Rear Admiral What’s-His-Name, but tattling to Steve about Gwen’s presence in their lives.

Yes, if Avery McGarrett wasn’t careful she may just be wishing she didn’t have a broken ankle so she’d be able to walk straight out of the ER and never incur his wrath.

*H50*  
Although the phone conversation with Steve seemed to end on a good note, Danny knew differently. He knew this was the calm before the storm, the calculated, planned attack.

Steve had sounded exhausted, unsurprisingly. He’d been gone for months now, traipsing through jungles, climbing over mountains, swimming through lakes. Okay, Danny knew enough about the SEALs, but he wasn’t clear on the specifics. Anyway, Steve was clearly overworked; his body may still be in top physical condition, but he wasn’t a twenty-five year old anymore and he struggled to stay up on long nights at 5-0. Danny could only imagine what being back on a mission was doing to his body.

So, Danny knew he hadn’t heard the last of it, knew the shock and surprise of finding out about Gwen and Avery stunned him, pushing back the coming freak-out. And Danny knew that a freak-out would be coming; Steve did not handle these things lightly, he was fiercely protective of his family.

It was a few hours later, after Avery had been discharged with a brand new orange cast plastered onto her leg, prescriptions had been filled, and Avery had been tucked into bed to sleep off the hospital-level pain medication they’d given her that Danny’s cell phone rang, flashing a restricted number.

Before he even answered he knew it was Steve.

“Hello, Steven.”

“What the fuck, Danny.” Danny winced; Steve’s voice was already at a decibel level he wasn’t expecting until further along in the conversation.

“Steve, calm down. We can talk about this rationally.”

“Fuck no, Danny. I’m not going to calm down. You had no right, no right keeping this from me. I mean, we’ve talked a lot during this deployment, and Gwen’s been back for most of it and you didn’t think that was something I needed to know? I mean, what the hell.”

Danny sighed, sitting down on the couch, scrubbing a hand down his face, “I wanted to protect you.”

“Protect me from what?”

“From worrying about it, from doing something stupid to come home. I couldn’t handle it if you died. I’m barely holding it together as it is.”

“Well maybe if you’d told me before now you wouldn’t have had so much weight on your shoulders. It’s your own damn fault, Danny. I know you, you don’t think I do? I’ve known that you’ve been hiding something from me. And here I am, talking to a young sailor about how you can make a gay relationship work in the military; you can be a SEAL and still have a good relationship, that the important thing is trust. But, fuck, Danny how can I trust you when you lied about something like this? I asked you a hundred times during those two weeks I was on base if something was wrong. And other than Avery getting almost sexually assaulted, you told me everything was fine.”

Danny didn’t miss the sarcastic sneer Steve had at the end, and he couldn’t help wincing at the harshness of Steve’s words even though he knew he deserved them. “Steve, I was so confused. I wanted to tell you, really I did. I was just so worried about what you’d do.”

“You seriously think that I’d be so upset about this I’d do some crazy shit to get back to you?”

“Um, yes,” Danny had the urge to smack himself on the head; Steve really was clueless about his over-the-top, suicidal heroics.

“You are being completely ridiculous.” Steve’s voice was beginning to rise again, “I would never put myself in unnecessary danger. I can’t believe you think I don’t want to come back to you and the girls.”

“No, no,” Danny quickly yelled, “That’s not what I think at all.”

Fuck, this conversation was going downhill fast; well, for all intents and purposes, this wasn’t even really a conversation, more like a verbal evisceration.

“Then stop treating me like a child and treat me like the grown man that I am. I’m your husband; you’re supposed to trust me with this stuff. I know I’m far away, I know that not having me there even if I did know wouldn’t make this situation much easier, but Danny, I could have at least listened to you. I could have tried to pull some strings, find out some information. But now, now I feel like, yet again, I’ve let Avery down, my family down. I haven’t been there for her and I know this can’t be easy for her to deal with.”

“No, it hasn’t been easy.”

“I should talk to her.”

“I think that she would like that, but right now I really don’t know. She’s been pulling away, Steve.” Maybe Danny shouldn’t throw even more crap onto Steve’s already burdened shoulders, but damn, it felt good to finally have Steve to talk to again, about everything.

“Danny,” it came out like a stifled cry, like he could barely get the word out without tearing up.

“Look, I know I fucked up, really I do, but I really am so sorry. I know I should have told you.”

“You’re damn right you should have told me. This marriage, this family, doesn’t work if we can’t tell each other these things. More than anything I need you to be honest with me.”

Danny felt like he was three inches tall. He knew before this that he was probably making a mistake by not telling Steve. All of the reasons he had compiled for not telling him were just a smokescreen, a way to assuage the guilt that was building up inside of him, threatening to implode him from the inside out. But, now, hearing the sadness and the hurt in Steve’s voice, Danny knew it was even worse than he thought it would be. Steve felt betrayed, lied to, almost cheated.

Danny felt like shit.

“I’m sorry, Steve,” it was all he could get out.

“Tell me why you think Avery’s pulling away.”

“Steve…”

“No,” Steve interrupted, “Do not try and cover it up or pretend like you don’t want to burden me. You want to start fixing this mistake you start being honest with me right now. Tell me how it really is at home and tell it to me straight.”

And the floodgates just opened, “Grace has been coming over more and more which is good, and I’m always happy to have her here, but I can tell there’s a reason. Something is going on at Rachel’s, but other than a few passing comments and that one conversation I had with her a while ago, she’s been very closed-lipped about it. And it worries me that I should know what’s going on, that something really bad is going on. Avery, well, Avery spent close to two months pushing Gwen away, refusing to see her, not talking to her or giving her the time of day. Suddenly, two weeks or so after Gwen sued for her parental rights back, Avery wanted to see her, give her the chance to explain what happened sixteen years ago. And I was wary about it, but in the end, I was so exhausted with everything I didn’t have the energy to try and look deeper than her surface assurances that this is what she wanted. Everything seemed to be going fine, they spent a few meals together, but then I talked to Mike after practice one day and he said he’d overheard Avery telling Ian that the only reason she’s spending time with her mom is because she’s hoping it will convince her to drop the lawsuit and it will take a lot of the stress off of me, which by the way, is such a Steve-move it’s not even funny, makes me question whether or not I want you back here to corrupt her even more. But, fuck, I’m supposed to be the parent and take care of her through all of this and I completely missed that she was doing this for me. Over the past few days she’s felt distant, ever since I brought up that she may want to consider pulling back on her time with Gwen. She went ballistic, yelled at me, slammed doors, and she barely spoke to me for days. And today, when she broke her ankle, she called Gwen, not me.”

No matter what happened with Steve, if he was angry for the remainder of his mission, it felt good to finally get everything he’d been feeling off his chest.

“It’s going to be okay, Danny. I promise.”


	17. Head in the Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the newest addition to Family Ties. I hope you enjoy and it was worth the wait! I will get around to responding to all of your reviews soon :) Just know that I read every single one of them and they mean the world to me!
> 
> Thanks always to my wonderful beta jerseybelle for putting up with my crazy worries over my writing! She's awesome :)

*Steve's POV*

Steve had been rightfully shocked when his SAT phone had rung and instead of hearing the gruff voice of his commanding officer on the other end of the line he heard the quiet voice of his teenage daughter. He could hear the remnants of tears on her voice, could tell that her lip was quivering. He remembers hearing the words, “My mom came back, Dad.”

He can’t quite remember what he said to her, he barely even registered the words ‘I’m in the hospital and they aren’t telling Danno any information because they say he’s not my real father.’

All he remembers is forgetting that he was in the middle of a mission, a less dangerous one albeit, but in the middle of a mission nonetheless, and his mind was anywhere but in the jungles of North Korea. He sat down on a wet log, phone pressed close to his ear in an attempt to hear the words through the heavy static. He remembers demanding to talk to Danny. He remembers learning that Gwen is in fact back and that she wants to sue for custody.

He remembers the weight of the world feeling like it had descended upon his shoulders, feeling at such a loss for what to do. 

And he remembers being pissed, pissed beyond belief. In fact, Steve’s pretty sure he has never been so pissed in his life.

Danny had lied.

Danny had hidden the truth from him.

Danny had betrayed his trust.

Steve felt like he couldn’t breathe. How was he supposed to concentrate now? His mind was no longer on the mission. Instead, his mind was thousands of miles away in a beach house on Oahu. He heard the distant calls of his men after he hung up the phone. He numbly remembers Gordon placing a hand on his shoulder, snapping him from his reverie.

“McGarrett,” he called. Steve didn’t look up, eyes trained on the silent SAT phone in his hand.

“McGarrett…Steve.”

“Yeah,” Steve finally looked up to see the concerned face of one of his oldest friend’s looking back at him. It was seeing Gordon’s face covered in grease paint that snapped Steve back into reality.

Right, SEALs, mission, deployment, North Korea.

Fuck.

His team was out on assignment. They were conducting recon work to help in their eventual capture of their intended target. They were so close, only a few steps away from the actual hit.

But right now the only thing replaying over and over in Steve’s mind was ‘Gwen’s back, Gwen’s back.’ He didn’t know how to handle that. He didn’t know what to do or say or how to even begin to process all of this new information.

He hadn’t loved her, not the way he thought he did. He knows that now. He knows that he loved her in his own way but he hadn’t been in love with her. But she had left him bruised, broken, and battered. It took him a long time, he’s willing to admit in the privacy of his own mind, to even begin to put the pieces back together again. And if he’s truly honest, things didn’t become right again until after he met Danny.

It took him a long time to come to grips with the idea that she never wanted to be a mother, that through everything they dealt with, she had given up on the most precious person Steve had ever known. Steve couldn’t even begin to fathom the idea of leaving Avery behind.

Steve had never forgiven Gwen for that and he knew he never would.

But now she’s back and he doesn’t know what to think. And he’s not just worried for himself, what about his family? Fuck, Danny’s been dealing with this shit, Steve’s shit, for months on his own, trying to keep everyone and everything together.

Fuck.

Steve ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the slightly curly ends.

“Hey, Steve, we need to get moving; we’re going to lose daylight soon,” Richards says as he helps Steve to his feet. He glances around at the faces of the men in his command. He can see the uncertainty, the nerves creeping up in the younger SEALs. They were watching their commander fall apart right in front of them, right in the middle of a mission.

That was unacceptable and was destined to cause problems.

Luckily for Steve, and the main reason why he always liked to pick his own team, Richards and Gordon were plenty able to pick up the slack and get everyone moving again. Richards took the front, leading out Ripley, Sandler, and the new guy Martin to the designated rendezvous point.

Gordon took up the rear with Steve, one eye trained in front and to the side, gun pointed at just the right angle to shoot at a target if necessary, and the other eye on Steve who hadn’t spoken a word. 

Every now and then one of the younger sailors would look back at Steve with a wary eye, but Gordon just barked at them to keep moving and they quickly turned around, giving Steve as much privacy with his thoughts as he could find in the middle of the North Korean jungle surrounded by an intimate six-man SEAL unit.

Looking back, Steve has no recollection of the hike from where the call came in to the rendezvous point. But all of a sudden, one mile out of their destination, he hears the familiar pop of gunshots. 

Working solely on instinct, he takes cover behind a thick tree, cocking his gun and slipping back into his SEAL-headspace almost instantly. His fears, his worries, they slip away as he does a head check of each member of his team. It’s as he’s scanning the path they were just on that he sees the blood and then hears the groans of pain.

“What’s going on,” he yells from his cover, popping off six rounds in the direction the shots came from.

“Martin’s hurt,” Ripley yells from somewhere off to Steve’s right, “They hit him in the leg. I think it barely missed the femoral artery, but he’s bleeding.”

“Gordon,” Steve yells, no more command necessary.

“Got it,” was the response. With three hand signals and one more call, the rest of the team members formed a makeshift wall in front of Gordon and Martin as Gordon, the team medic, made fast work at tying off the wound as much as possible.

“Three hostiles,” Sandler yelled from his position, “Due north, three clicks.”

Listening to the directions, Steve trained his scope on the hillside up above them. Fuck, he should have recognized the vulnerable position they were in as they walked through the valley. But his head was so far gone he hadn’t taken the necessary precautions to sweep all possible threat points as they moved.

Seeing the glint of the sun against a scope, Steve took aim and could tell immediately that his hit was dead on. After a few more minutes of fire exchange, all three hostiles were dead.

“Gordon, what’s the deal,” Steve asked as he ran over to where Gordon was crouched over Martin’s prone form.

“We’re a mile out of the rendezvous point. If we make a fast pace I think he’ll be fine, I’ve tied off the wound and tried to staunch as much of the bleeding as possible.”

“Best course of action for getting him to the rendezvous point?”

“Someone’s going to have to carry him.”

Ignoring the offers from both Sandler and Ripley, Steve barks at them to get in formation and keep a lookout as they continue along the path running through the valley. He scoops Martin up himself, and throws him over his shoulder fireman style. 

“Let’s go, now,” Steve yelled and the team was off.

They made it to the rendezvous point without another incident, and Martin was the first one loaded into the waiting helicopter. 

When everyone was securely in the helicopter and Steve felt the familiar push as it left the ground, he let his mind rest for the first time since he heard those gun shots.

He’d fucked up because his head hadn’t been on the mission.

*H50*  
Gordon managed to take the seat next to Steve, the bastard. Steve knew this meant he’d have to talk.

“If you don’t talk to me you’re going to go into the almost guaranteed dressing-down you’re going to get from the Admiral so tightly wound that by the end of it you’ll either be court martialed or partaking in a mandatory psych eval. Let it out now and we can move on from here.”

“I’m going to get my ass handed to me.”

“Yes, you are. But, in the end, everything turned out okay more or less. Martin will be fine; he’ll heal and be back to his normal self in no time. We got the information we wanted, and we are this close to nailing our mark. We’re in the home stretch and still relatively on schedule. What was the phone call about?”

“No slow build up?”

“Never saw the point, and this ride is only forty minutes so start talking.”

Steve smiled over at his long-time friend. He wanted to have the energy to be angry at him for meddling into his mind and his business, but they’d seen enough and been through enough to know that these men were the ones you shared your secrets with because they were the men you could actually talk to about all the classified bullshit.

“It was Avery on the phone. She’s in the hospital with what looks to be a broken ankle. She called because apparently Gwen, her mother, has come back and is suing to get her parental rights back which means Danny’s rights would be removed. Basically my entire family is falling apart and I’m not there to fix it.”

Gordon didn’t say anything for a few minutes. He just sat there, a strong presence at Steve’s side, and waited for Steve’s rigid posture to relax a little as the truth finally came out.

“Feel good to say that out loud?” Gordon asked. Steve nodded. “Well, shit, I certainly wasn’t expecting that. But, then again, it’s got to take something fucking huge to knock you off your game the way it did.”

Steve just gave a noncommittal grunt in return.

“Did you talk to Danny?”

“Yeah, he says he’s got it covered and he’s sorry he didn’t tell me. Goddamn, he’s been lying to me. I told you guys weeks ago I knew he was hiding something and he spent weeks spouting bullshit, assuring me everything was fine. It was all a fucking lie. Gwen’s been there for months, she’s hanging out with Avery, with my daughter, the daughter she abandoned at two months old and never looked back. Fuck, Danny knows how I feel about her, knows that the last thing I would want is Gwen anywhere near my little girl. I don’t trust her and I never will.”

“You’re upset; you’re angry and rightfully so. But, I think you owe Danny a little more credit. There’s a reason you guys make such a great parenting team. He evens you out, makes you take a step back and think. Now, tell me, honestly, if Avery wanted to find her mother and get to know that part of her would you stop her?”

“Yes,” Steve said immediately. But then he stopped, took a moment to think. No he wouldn’t, and he knows that’s really the truth and he’s pretty sure Danny knows that too. Steve tried his damndest to make sure that he never biased Avery’s opinion of her mother. He told her the truth about what happened, but he always made it sound a little bit better than it actually was. He had kept that door open, kept the possibility for that relationship alive, even if that relationship wasn’t something Steve ever wanted to see develop.

“Okay, no, I wouldn’t stop her,” Steve relented.

“And Danny was giving Avery that option. Look, I’m not defending what he did; it was stupid for him to keep it from you. But, he did it because he worries about you. He mother-hens like a boss, you know this.”

Steve can’t help but laugh because ‘mother-hen’ really is such an apt description of Danny.

Gordon continued, “It came out of a place of love and insecurity. I don’t know what it is, but neither of you are handling this deployment very well. Usually you guys are surprisingly good at the military relationship thing. What’s going on with this deployment? And don’t lie and say it’s this lying stuff, you guys have been off since the beginning.”

Steve was mentally cursing Gordon for all of his fucking perceptiveness because he’s right. Steve and Danny usually handle the deployments as well as can be expected. But this one has been rough from the start. Steve knew why but he didn’t want to admit it out loud.

“About a year ago, I got a call for a weekend training session at Pearl. It was shitty timing; Avery had a huge state swim meet and she was devastated that I was going to have to miss it. She wouldn’t talk to me for days. She only talked to Danny, and I’m pretty sure she cried herself to sleep in his arms at least twice. Danny was livid and I mean like off his rocker livid. He barely looked in my direction. We had a huge fight about the Navy and how it fucked with everything, huge knock-out fight, one of our worst. It sucked. Anyway, I got up to leave and I was almost out the door when I heard him say it. I didn’t look back or turn around or make any indication I had heard him so there’s a good chance he thinks I have no idea. But, he said he wanted me to get out. It’s always been there, you know, especially in the past year or two since I’ve passed my twenty, but he’s never said anything. He’s never once suggested or even broached the subject of my retirement and I never pushed it. I wanted to wait a year or two more and then leave on my own terms. I never thought they’d call me in for another mission. I’ve felt guilty this whole time. My family wants me home and I think they’ve sacrificed enough for my career that I owed them that. This is it, if I make it back, I’m getting out.”

“Then hold onto that thought. This whole situation sucked. You handled that poorly and Danny handled the Gwen-situation poorly. Chalk it up to experience, get your head back in the game, complete the mission, and go home to your family. This isn’t the end and no matter what you think, you aren’t letting your family down.”

“Aren’t I? They don’t want me here.”

“No military families ever want their loved ones to go to war, but they understand and they do not blame their loved one for not being there when things get tough, or at least the good ones don’t, the relationships that last.”

“Mmm.”

Steve felt the familiar dip in pressure as the helicopter began to move towards the ground. Gordon caught his attention one last time with a hand on his shoulder. “Everything will be okay. You and Danny, you’re like pretty much every SEALs role-model for successful military relationship, gay or straight. You’ll work through this like everything else.”

Steve didn’t say anything, just looked off into the blinding sun and thought about the Hawaiian sun Danny would be looking at, desperately wishing that he could be home.

*H50*  
After making sure that Martin was set up in the base hospital, Steve went back to the barracks for a shower. He felt marginally better after cleaning away the grime and dirt from the jungle, but that feeling disappeared completely as soon as he saw Richards sitting on his bunk.

“Admiral caught up to me. He wants to see you in his office in twenty minutes.”

“Damn,” Steve swore as he pulled out a clean pair of fatigues from his duffel.

“We’re here when it’s done. Get it over with and move on; mind on the mission and then we can go home.”

Steve attempted a smile, but it came out more as a grimace than anything. He made his way across the base, knocking on the Admiral’s door before being called to come in.

“Commander,” he greeted. Steve stood at attention, saluting the admiral.

After returning the salute, the Admiral didn’t waste any time. “Where the hell was your head today, McGarrett? Huh? One of your guys got shot because you were too busy off in lala land somewhere to notice the extremely vulnerable position your team was in. I’ve already had to replace one member of your team because you weren’t satisfied, less than a month later the new guy gets shot and I have to find a second replacement. You want to know how upset that makes me? You put yourself and your team at risk today because your mind wasn’t on the mission. I have half a mind to confine you to the barracks until this mission is over and call in another team leader.”

Steve’s jaw twitched at that suggestion. Having to sit on the sidelines, here, would be torture he didn’t think he could bear. But it wasn’t his place to say anything so he took his verbal lashing and stood stalk-straight, emotionless expression plastered on his face.

“This isn’t like you, McGarrett. You’re one of my very best. What got into you today?”

Steve waited a beat, to make sure he was actually supposed to answer, and then replied, “There’s no excuse, sir. I messed up.”

“At ease, Steve.” Steve complied.

“Yes, you damn well fucked up today, but we go back a ways and I know it’s not like you to just randomly lose your head. I don’t want to get another team leader; you’re the only one I trust to get this job done. Tell me what’s going on so we can fix it and finish this mission.”

“It’s my family, sir. I got a call from my daughter on my SAT phone.”

“That breaks a thousand different protocols, you know that, right?”

“The Navy put her through, sir. She was in the hospital and I needed to verify that Danny was her legal guardian. Avery’s mother is back and suing for her parental rights. I didn’t know until today.”

“Well, that’s certainly the first time I’ve heard that one,” the Admiral chanced a smile in Steve’s direction. “It’s not an excuse. You need to solve your problems at home and get your head back in this. You’ve got three days while I get Trenton from the Japan base. His team just finished up and he’s the reserve back-up. I suggest you take the three days and figure your shit out. If anything, even something inconsequential, happens because your head isn’t there the consequences will be dire. Do I make myself clear, Commander?”

Steve snapped back to attention and saluted the Admiral, “Yes, sir.”

“Good, dismissed.” With one last salute, Steve left the office, his shoulders slumping as soon as he heard the door snapped shut behind him. 

Gordon and Richards intercepted him outside the building. Their unending friendship always made him smile. They really had been through hell and back together over the years.

“So, how did it go?”

“Verbal lashing, pretty standard. We’ve got three days respite while Trenton from Team Eight gets here. I’m supposed to figure my shit out during that time.”

Richards laughed at the sarcasm in Steve’s voice and Gordon just gave him a sympathetic pat on the back.

“I think you should start by calling Danny,” Gordon suggested, “Have it out and start fixing your problems. You won’t start to feel better until things with him have been hashed out.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said as they made it to the mess hall, “When did you become a psychologist?”

“I’ve just been around you two twisted schmucks for twenty-plus years and learned from the experience of picking up your emotional baggage.”

The three men laughed and sat down to dinner, digging in to hearty sized portions; anything was better than the MREs they had to eat when they were off base. The conversation passed with the ease of long-time friends. It surprised Steve sometimes the ability they had to go from deep, emotional discussions to just shooting the shit, as Danny would like to say. He just smiled, reveled in the thought of Danny’s snarky attitude, and finished his food.

“I’m heading over to the phone tent,” Steve announced after polishing off his third helping of spaghetti. “It’s late afternoon in Oahu; I’m guessing Danny and Avery should be back from the hospital by now.”

His two friends waved him off as he made his way over to the phones. He hadn’t planned on yelling right off the bat, but his emotional state and lack of sleep got the better of him. He lashed out and laid into Danny harder than he ever remembers doing. Although it made him feel like shit, he knows Danny was only trying to make things easier on him, he feels immensely better for having gotten his feelings off his chest. Hearing Danny, finally, open up about things going on at home he immediately worries about Avery’s well-being.

Danny’s nervous, he can tell. He’s trying not to worry Steve too much, but he can sense it. He can tell that Danny’s at a loss for how to help Avery, how to get her to open up. And Steve can tell, he can tell from the tone in Danny’s voice that his husband is struggling. That the man he loves is barely holding on.

It tears at something inside of Steve. It makes him want to reach through the phone and pull Danny into a great big hug and hold him there until things get better. But, he’s halfway around the world and he can’t do that, no matter how much he wants to.

Instead he settles for whispering quiet assurances over the phone, promising Danny that things were going to be okay.

He hung up with Danny a minute later, the conversation weighing heavy on his heart. Now that he knew, he had to help Danny in any way he could. He picked the phone back up and dialed Avery’s phone number. It rang three times before Avery’s voice came through the line.

“Hi, Avery Lynne,” Steve greeted as she picked up the phone, “How’s it going, Sweet Pea?”

“It’s good. My leg is itching like crazy, but Danno won’t let me stick a pencil into the cast to scratch it.”

Steve laughed, an honest-to-god belly laugh, a laugh he hadn’t felt in a long time. And it wasn’t like Avery had said anything particularly funny, but hearing her voice talking about something as inconsequential as her itchy ankle reminded Steve of all of the little things he loved about his family. He could picture Avery’s face scrunched up in indignation at the thought of not being allowed to scratch and Danny standing a short distance away, arms crossed, hair fallen out of its usually perfectly coiffed state, explaining to her for what was probably the thousandth time that she could not scratch.

“Dad, it’s really not funny.”

“I know it’s not, Aves, it’s just nice to picture my family doing normal things when everything I’ve been hearing is incredibly abnormal.”

“I’m sorry for springing it on you like that but Danno said…”

“I know what he said and I’m not angry at you for not telling me. But Danno did tell me that you’re struggling with it and he’s concerned, which makes me concerned. I wish I could be there for you, help you through this.” Steve let out a sigh. He needed to be strong for her, but he couldn’t help but feel like an utter failure as a father.

He knew right from the start, from the second he got the call about this mission that he shouldn’t leave his family, but goddamn him and his incessant need to serve his country. Duty and honor, what a load of bullshit when your family is falling apart and you can’t do anything to help.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about Mom?”

“I don’t know. I guess, at first, the wounds were too new and I couldn’t bear to talk about her. As we moved forward, when Danno came into our lives, those wounds started to close, to heal. I shut your mom up into a box and I pushed her out of my life. I needed that, for me. I needed that so that I could be the father you deserved, the father Grace deserved, and the husband Danno deserved. As you got older, I realized that my feelings about your mother shouldn’t cloud your judgment. If you ever wanted to seek her out, I wanted you to be able to do that without any overarching bias from me. I didn’t trust myself to talk about her with you without letting you know how I felt so I shied away from talking about it at all. And I can tell, now, looking back on it, that it was a mistake. I know I should have answered your questions, told you my memories, let her be a part of you even if she never did decide to come back. I messed up on this one, kid, and I’m sorry.”

“You don’t always have to be Superman, you know that right,” Avery asked, a shade of humor in her tone.

“Yeah, but I want to be your hero. I want to be the person you know you can turn to always, for anything, and know that I will tell you the truth. Danno and I, we’ve lectured you and Grace countless times on the importance of honesty, we’ve punished you for lying, and we’ve made a big deal about trust. But I didn’t walk the walk; I didn’t open up to you the way I should have.”

“Did you love her?”

Steve sat back in his chair, holding the phone away from his ear for a second, taking a calming breath to compose himself. “Yes, I did. At least, a part of me loved her and a part of me always will. She’s your mother and you are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“If you loved her, why did you let her leave?”

“Let her leave? Avery, I didn’t let her leave. She made that choice on her own, I couldn’t stop her.”

“She said that all she wanted was for you to chase after her, tell her that you loved her and wanted to fight for our family.”

Steve cursed Gwen in his mind. He knew that no matter how much his good parenting instincts told him that it was important that Avery not be biased by his opinions, that Gwen did not want him to follow. He thought about it, hell he almost did it. For the first six months after she left Steve had started to dial her number countless nights only to decide at the last minute that if she wanted to talk she’d call.

Maybe he should have made more of an effort, maybe he should have tried to give it one more shot, or at least tried to work something out so that even if they weren’t in a relationship with each other, that both of them could have a relationship with Avery. He would have done that in a heartbeat; Steve always regretted Avery not having a mother in her life.

But he could also see, looking back when his judgment wasn’t clouded by puppy love or anger, that Gwen was a manipulator. He would never dream of accusing her of getting pregnant on purpose, but he could remember on more than one occasion being convinced to do something because it would be for love, for her. She had a knack for listening to people, learning who they were to their very core, and then abusing that knowledge to get what she wanted. Eventually, she’d get bored and move on. He saw her do it with countless friends, and he shouldn’t have been surprised when she did it to him.

Therefore, he knew, with the wisdom and perspective he had gained over the years, that this was Gwen trying to get something.

He just wished he could figure out her endgame. Because he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that becoming a mother was not what she wanted.

“Avery, I had to do what was best for you.”

“What was best was for me to have a mother.”

“After what she did, I didn’t trust Gwen, not with the most precious thing in my life. I thought about calling her many times after she first left. I thought about how we could make this work, for you, but I never could pull the trigger. Something held me back. I couldn’t trust that you would be safe and unharmed if I tried to get her back. She walked away from you and from us. You were just a baby, barely older than two months, you wouldn’t remember her. But, if she came back, and walked out again a few years later, you would remember. And I couldn’t forgive myself if I brought that pain upon you.”

Steve heard Avery suck in a breath, could hear the hitch in her voice as she began to speak, “Dad, I, I know that you love me. I know that you’ve never done anything that you think would hurt me. But, you don’t understand what it’s been like, not having a Mom. And she’s saying that you could have fixed it.”

“Avery, I want to make this better, put all of this back together again, but I can’t. What I can tell you is the truth. I loved your mother in my own way. Looking back, yes, I was not in love with her, not the way I am with Danno. But when she told me she was pregnant with you, Aves, I was prepared to give her everything. I was prepared to do whatever it took to make you happy and give you the life and family you deserve. I was already in training with the SEALs when I met your Mom. She knew who I was and what I did before we started dating. I asked if she wanted to move with me, to Virginia, when she told me about you. I never pressured her to do anything. She came, said that she wanted us to be a family. And, with everything that my family wasn’t, I wanted to make that for you. I had every intention of marrying your Mom. When I got called away on my first mission, I swore to myself that if I made it back to you and to her, I would marry her and I would provide for our family. When I got back after that mission, all I wanted was to see you. I knew I had a daughter, but I hadn’t been able to get a hold of Gwen so I didn’t know what your name was, how big you were, or what you looked like. All I wanted was to hold you and see your Mom. And I did get to hold you, but two minutes after your mom handed you over to me, she left. She left and said she couldn’t do it, even for you. She couldn’t be with a SEAL. And, yeah, I let her go because you didn’t deserve that and neither did I. I swore to keep you safe and love you, and that’s what I’ve tried to do every day since then. And I’m sorry if I’ve done a craptastically awful job at it, but I did the best I could.”

“You are an amazing Dad,” Avery replied, “I just needed a mom or at least I needed to know that part of who I am. I needed to know where I came from. I know that Danno’s scared and nervous about me hanging out with Mom, but that’s all I’ve ever wanted, to know the other half of who I am. You never said anything.”

“I will tell you anything you need to know, Sweet Pea, when I get home. For now, there’s a box of pictures and trinkets and things from my time with your mom. It’s in my bedroom closet, top shelf, in the far back right corner. If you can’t find it just ask Danno, he knows where it is. I saved everything in case one day you wanted it. When I get home, I promise to tell you whatever you want to know and work with you on developing a relationship with Gwen. But, Aves, you have to understand that Danno and I need to fight her. We can’t let her take away Danno’s parental rights. I’m okay if you want to get to know her, develop a relationship with her, but I will not allow you to replace Danno. He has been the only other parent you have ever known, and I cannot stand by and see you throw that away.”

“I don’t want to lose Danno either, Dad. I just don’t want to lose the chance at having a relationship with Mom. She swears that she’s changed, that she wants to be in my life and that she will be a good mother. What if I support you and Danno and then she never talks to me again?”

“Avery, if not being your legal guardian prevents her from wanting a relationship with you, than she never wanted one in the first place. A true parent will sacrifice anything for their child, and if your mother is not willing to give this up then she doesn’t deserve to be your parent, and sweet pea, you deserve the best.”

“Dad, come home soon.” She said it so quietly that Steve almost missed it. The torn, broken sound in her voice tore at his heartstrings, and he couldn’t prevent the stray tears that betrayed him as they slipped down his cheeks.

“I will, baby.”


	18. Your Past is My Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this took me a little longer to post than originally planned (I feel like I'm always saying that), but I really hope it was worth the wait. Without giving too much away, some answers about Grace are finally coming out! I know everyone was really interested in that :) Also some cute scenes that hopefully help with some of the angst that has been overtaking this story!
> 
> Thanks to my lovely beta jerseybelle for getting this chapter back to me so I was able to post it as soon as I got back from my NYC trip!

*Avery's POV*

After hanging up with her dad, Avery sat on her bed for a few more minutes just processing the conversation she’d just finished. It was the most open she’s ever heard her Dad be about his past, especially his past with her mom.

It was also the most scared she’s ever heard her Dad when he’s on a mission.

She can’t help but think that she’s causing those worries, causing the tension in his and Danno’s relationship. Danno tries to hide it, pretend like things are okay, but Avery knows. She can always tell when her parents aren’t happy with each other; neither was very good at hiding their emotions, no matter what Dad says about classified Navy SEAL compartmentalization training.

She sees Danno struggle every day. She sees him run through the motions on autopilot – get up, coffee, send Avery off to practice, shower, make breakfast for him and Avery, go to work, solve crime, come home, make dinner, do paperwork, watch TV, go to sleep. There isn’t any variation in his day-to-day life unless you count him coming to every one of Avery’s meets. But, really, that’s not much of a change since him or her Dad haven’t missed a meet except for serious cases they’re working on, missions, or one of them was in the hospital with an injury.

Avery tried to think back, tried to remember how Danny acted during Steve’s other deployments. She just couldn’t remember him being this lost, this tired.

She knew that Gwen being back and threatening to nullify Danny’s parental rights was causing the most stress, and Avery wanted to do everything she could to help Danno with that, but Gwen insisted that she had to do this, if not for Avery then for herself.

Gwen said that even if she lost she had to know that she put the effort in to show Avery that she wanted to be a mom. Avery tried to tell, did tell her hundreds of times, that she didn’t need the lawsuit or the official paper saying Gwen was her mom to consider her a mother or take notice of the effort she was putting in. But whenever Avery would bring it up, Gwen would close down or back out of the conversation by switching topics. Every now and then she’d bristle and callously ask if this was Avery’s way of saying she didn’t love her and wanted her gone.

Avery wished she could have stood her ground, insisted another time that it had nothing to do with wanting Gwen to leave. In fact, the last thing she wanted was Gwen to leave. She was enjoying getting to know her mother and she hadn’t felt so much like herself in such a long time. She felt like her world was finally righting itself and things were falling into place. All she needed now was her father to come home safe and her life would be pretty damn near perfect.

But she couldn’t bear the thought of losing Danno, losing him as her father. Yes, she was happy that Gwen was back, happy that she was beginning to get to know her mother, that she had a woman to talk to about things, like Ian and if he really did like her. However, none of that mattered more than having her family together. Avery’s life had been good, no matter how much better it is now that she has a real mother. She had a wonderful family and two amazing parents and you will never hear her denying that. She couldn’t imagine her life without Danno in it.

Now she couldn’t imagine a life without Gwen in it, though. 

And that was the rock and a hard place that Avery was stuck between. She didn’t know what to do from here, how to make everyone happy, and the one person she could really use to talk to right now was in god-knows-where halfway across the world almost entirely incommunicado.

Because there was a connection between her and her father that she couldn’t even begin to explain to someone outside of it; even Danny didn’t understand it completely. Built from years of having just each other and her Grandpa, they developed a way of being that made sense to no one else but worked for them. Her father was her best friend, in a way. It wasn’t like she sat with him and gushed about boys and her favorite TV shows or new bras, but she did feel like she could talk to him about those things if she wanted, which she most certainly did not. 

But he knew when she needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to just strap on an iPod with her and run until they couldn’t run anymore. He understood what it meant to get up at the crack of dawn even when you wanted nothing more than to stay in bed because you had to be better than you were yesterday. 

But most importantly, he completely comprehended what being in the water meant to her because he felt the same way. He relished in the silence of the waves, the familiar sting of your muscles when they began to get fatigued. He knew the soothing, therapeutic feeling she got when she swam up and down a pool for a thousand yards because she needed the release, the release from thinking about anything other than counting strokes and breathing when necessary. She knew they were cut from the same cloth, that their mannerisms, the way they experienced emotions was very similar.

She couldn’t begin to imagine anyone more awesome than her dad, expect maybe Danno who always ended up coming in a dead tie with Steve when she thought about it.

Her fathers were everything to her.

But what she wanted, more than anything, was a mother to love her, understand her, and be there when she had to talk about boys or periods or how to pick the right bra. 

It seemed like she was so close to getting everything she wanted, too, and she knew that if Gwen just sat down with Danny (and Dad if he was home) and said that she wanted to be a regular part of Avery’s life her fathers would do that for her.

They would come up with a schedule, a plan, to make sure that Avery and Gwen got to see each other, spend time together, and play a role in each other’s lives. And they would do that while still making it very clear that they were a family and parenting decisions, in the end, fell to them.

Every meeting with Gwen, though, had Avery realizing more and more that that was never going to happen; Gwen wouldn’t allow it to happen. She wanted to get Avery back, legally.

Avery had no idea how to handle that.

She shook her head, ridding it of all the doomsday thoughts rolling around, and grabbed her crutches from where they were leaning against her bedside table. She hobbled over to the door and made her way out and down the hall to her parents’ bedroom. She made it all the way over to the closet, opened the doors, and peered into the back right corner before realizing there was no way she was getting to that box in her current physical condition.

Sighing and falling back onto the bed, she contemplated her options. She was not, in any way, ready to tell Danno that she was looking for the box her Dad told her about, and since Grace wasn’t able to come over until later that night due to some weird-ass rule Rachel had begun to enforce, her only options were calling up someone who could come over and get the box for her or wait until she could muster up the courage to ask Danno.

Realizing that maybe looking at the box alone probably wasn’t the best idea anyway, she pulled out her phone and dialed the number of someone she knew would be understanding while she dug through her father’s, and ultimately, her past.

Ian answered on the third ring and said he’d be over in ten, already hoping to come over to visit and make sure she was okay. Pushing her phone back into her pocket, she sat on the bed for a few more minutes before beginning her very slow trek downstairs on her crutches. The butterflies in her stomach were already floating around with gusto by the time she made it to the couch to wait.

She couldn’t quite pinpoint the exact time she went from looking at Ian as her best friend to something more, but she felt her stomach rise into her chest and her throat constrict every time he smiled at her, which was all the damn fucking time because the boy just couldn’t get upset. And it did not help that sixty percent of the time they were together now he was half-naked in a speedo, which just did things to a girl’s ability to speak that should be illegal.

But at least now he’d be relatively clothed, well, at least he’d be wearing a shirt. It was Hawaii after all.

Ian knocked on the door and let himself in only a few minutes after Avery had situated herself on the couch with her ankle propped up on a pile of pillows.

“Hey,” Ian greeted with a smile. “How’s the ankle? You wanted to get away from swimming with me that much that you went and broke your ankle? C’mon now, you know there are many less dramatic ways you could have accomplished that.”

Avery laughed as Ian sat down on the couch by her feet, slipping off his flip-flops, and putting his feet up on the coffee table, leaning back so his whole six-foot tall frame was lounging across their living room furniture.

It would have been odder if Ian hadn’t been around pretty much half her life. They’d met at her very first morning swim practice. She had been nervous, being a year younger than most everyone else on the team, and had stayed off to the side when the coach began to explain what the workout was going to be for the day. Avery was so nervous, eyes darting back and forth from the coach to the tall and scary-looking eighth graders who were surrounding her, that when the coach blew the whistle for everyone to jump in the pool and get started she realized she hadn’t heard a single word he’d said. Already feeling like she stuck out like a sore thumb, she did not relish the idea of having to ask the coach to repeat the workout for her.

Plucking up some of that McGarrett courage, she walked slowly over to the coach. Tapping him on the shoulder, he turned around with a smile when he realized who it was.

“Oh, Avery, good, I wanted to introduce you to someone. I know that it’s probably a little intimidating, coming here with all the older kids, so I wanted you to meet my son, Ian. He’s your age, too and has only been swimming with this team for about a week.” Mike, she would later find out was his name, motioned for a lanky kid to come over and talk with them. 

Back then Ian was still growing into his perfect swimmer’s body, his arms and legs a lot longer than his body was ready to handle, but his smile was still the same - bright, open, and made anyone relax in an instant. They hit it off immediately when he asked about her NAVY swim cap and she went into a diatribe about her dad and Annapolis and how it was her lucky cap.

They got into the same lane to begin the workout, all the while he was telling her that she was lucky because his lucky cap was a cap from his first real swim meet and he’d had it for so long that the color had worn out a little. So, instead of having a fire engine red cap it was now more of a rosy pink color that everyone liked to tease him for.

The rest, as they say, was history. It turned out that they also excelled in the same stroke, breaststroke. Although Ian was always really talented in butterfly and Avery could hold her own in the IMs, they spent a lot of their time sharing a lane at practice working on constant breaststroke sets. 

“Nah, I could never be sick of kicking your ass every day,” Avery replied with a smile.

They talked for a few more minutes before Ian got up and got them both something to drink, not even bothering to ask since he knew where everything was and knew exactly what Avery would request had he asked (water). It was probably this fact that had Avery a little more than head over heels for the guy; he had fit so perfectly into her life and had already made a place for himself. She worried that she only liked Ian because he was convenient, but Gwen assured her it just meant that they were destined to be together from the beginning, it just took a while for their hormones to catch up with fate.

Still, even with her mother’s assurances that no boy not interested in her would do the things he’s done, she wasn’t quite ready to let out all of her feelings, especially now, when all she could think about was the box sitting in the closet waiting for her to explore.

“So, do you think you could help me with something,” Avery asked after they had spent an hour or so watching TV.

“Absolutely,” Ian replied, switching the TV off and turning towards Avery.

“So, I finally talked to my dad about my mom this afternoon.”

“Yeah, how did that go?”

“It went pretty well, actually. He’s never been that open with me before about his past. He promised to talk to me about anything I want once he gets home, but that it’s hard to have this discussion when he’s so far away. He told me about this box he has. It has all sorts of things like pictures and ticket stubs from the time when he and my mom were together. It also has stuff from when I was a baby I guess. Apparently he’s been keeping all this stuff so that one day, if I wanted, I could have something that would help me get to know my mom.”

“If he had all of that why didn’t he just talk to you about her? We always just assumed he wanted you to know nothing about her.”

“Exactly, I was so confused at first. He explained that he never wanted to bias my opinion of her. He felt that I had every right to want a relationship with my mother and he wanted me to determine my own beliefs about her. He also said that a lot of his reluctance had to do with his discomfort talking about her. He didn’t want to lie and say that he wasn’t hurt or upset with what she had done. He said that at first, when I was younger and the wounds were still raw, that was probably a good reason, but now he’s probably been using it more as an excuse and he’s sorry. I get it, you know, it’s probably not easy for him to hear me talk about my Mom. Sometimes I forget that she didn’t just leave me that day, she left him too. And I guess I forget that because Dad’s so happy with Danno and I almost don’t ever think about the time before Danno when Dad was sad and alone. But even with the years he’s had Danno, I’m sure what my Mom did still hurts. She basically turned her back on everything my Dad was and I also think a part of him still blames himself for why I didn’t have a mother growing up, that it was because of what he chose to do for his life that I had to live without a Mom.”

“You don’t think that, though?”

“Of course not. My mom didn’t have to stay with my dad; if she wasn’t okay being in a relationship with a Navy SEAL that was her business and my father was clearly better suited for someone else anyway. But she easily could have still been a part of my life and not be in a relationship with my Dad. She did not have to leave me because of my Dad’s job. That was all on her.”

“To be honest, I can see where your Dad is coming from. If I lost the girl I loved, even if in the future I found someone so much better, I wouldn’t be too keen on having to start up some sort of relationship with her in the future. You getting to know your Mom affects him too, co-parenting and all.”

“Yeah, and it just scares me because I know that even though he will hate every minute of it and be uncomfortable, he will sit there with her and hash out details if it’s what will make me happy. He would do that for me, him and Danno. They would sit there for hours listening to her if it meant I would be happy. The problem is that I don’t think Gwen is willing to do that. I’ve asked, god I’ve asked like a thousand times if she’d be okay dropping the lawsuit if Danno and Dad agreed to sitting down and coming up with a visitation schedule. She flat out shot that idea down because she said without it in writing than my parents could pull away those privileges whenever they wanted.”

“But you’re almost eighteen, I mean, you can pretty much make your own decisions.”

“Well, I’ve said that, too, but she can’t seem to see past the fact that her name is not legally listed as my mother. I don’t know.”

“Aves, and please don’t get upset okay, I’m only saying this because I really care about you, but don’t you find that a little suspicious, the fact that she claims to want to be a part of your life but isn’t willing to be a part of it without legal documentation?”

“Yeah, I guess. I mean at first I thought it was really odd, but I sort of understand the thought that without it being legally binding, my parents pretty much hold all the power.”

Ian just hummed in agreement. Avery knew he was thinking a lot more than he was saying, but she appreciated that he realized this was not a situation to discuss his true concerns, maybe later, because god knows that Ian has never been scared of telling Avery his true opinion about something. In fact, if she’s honest, it’s one of the things she loves most about him. He’s always been there to give her the best advice, an honest opinion, or just be a hell of a good listening ear.

Needless to say, she was very thankful he was in her life.

“So, you said something about a box?” 

“Oh, right. I need you to get it down for me because I clearly am unable at the moment,” she swept her arms around her legs to indicate the cast and crutches currently keeping her ankle in place and body upright.

“Let me get this straight. You called me over here not because you wanted my company but because you needed my help getting a box down?”

Avery could hear the good-natured teasing in his voice as he stood up, mock indignation on his face. “Well, that’s really all I keep you around for anyway,” Avery joked as Ian made his way around the coffee table.

“Where is it?”

“My parents’ room, closet, top shelf, far right corner.”

Ian faltered for a minute. “Do you think it’s okay for me to go into their room?”

“Ian, don’t be ridiculous, you’ve been in their room a hundred times.”

“Yeah, with you, when we’ve watched movies upstairs because you and Evie wanted to play forts and their bed is perfect for it. I haven’t actually been in it since we were like twelve. I feel like it’s awkward now.”

“Why, because we know what sex is and that my parents probably have it?”

“Ah,” Ian’s hands flew up to his ears and he screwed his eyes shut as if that would make the mental image burned into his brain go away, “No, no. That was just wrong on so many levels. I’m never going to be able to look either of your fathers in the eye ever again. And now I am most definitely not going to get you that box.”

“We could talk about your parents and their bedroom if that will help?”

“God, woman, shut up and stop making it worse. How do you think that’s going to help your case?”

“Well, if you aren’t thinking about my parents’ sex life than maybe you could go into their room and get me the box.”

“You have ruined this house for me, just so you know.”

“You know you love me,” Avery said with a smirk. It’s something they’ve said for years to each other, and the response was always ‘God, do I ever,’ just like best friends are supposed to say. And when Ian responds back in the exact way he always has, Avery wishes he meant it in a way a little different than he’s meant it in the past, but she’s not ready to tell him that yet.

After promising to spend the first two weeks she’s up and mobile anywhere but at her house, Ian reluctantly agrees to go digging through her parents’ closet for the box. While she was listening to him rummage around upstairs, she thought momentarily that it probably was highly awkward for him to be in someone else’s parents’ bedroom, but she knew her parents wouldn’t really care; if there was really anything that Avery couldn’t see than her Dad never would have told her about the box in the first place.

“Okay, I found it. Now, for the love of god, can I please stay down here on the first floor where it’s safe from the images that I will never be able to unsee?” Ian flopped down next to her, gently placing the box in her lap.

“Did you really see something,” Avery gasped as she sat up straighter, Ian helping her rearrange the stack of pillows so her leg was outstretched on the coffee table and she was sitting up against the back of the couch.

“No, but now I can’t think of anything else other than all the places in there that they could use to hide things they don’t want us to see.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I bet ninety-nine percent of those places are hiding guns, ammo, and other forms of weaponry rather than anything sex-related.”

“That really doesn’t make me feel better,” Ian said, slumping done in his seat and throwing his arm over his face with a groan. “When’s Danno getting home, please tell me it won’t be for a long time.”

“To be honest, I don’t really know. He’s at work so it could be an hour or it could be five. You want to look through this with me?”

Avery couldn’t help but hope that Ian would get the plea behind her question, that he would realize she needed him to help her look through it, that she couldn’t do it alone.

And Ian, oh sweet Ian, knew exactly what she was asking and immediately sat up and began to empty the contents onto the coffee table. They spent a few minutes in silence sifting through the pictures, ticket stubs, and letters from all those years ago. Avery found a particularly romantic letter that her mom had written to her father while he was on base for training.

“She sounds so in love right here,” Avery pointed out as she handed the letter over to Ian who began to scan the lines, “I think that’s what I don’t understand. I mean, I know that they weren’t meant to be together because Dad was meant to be with Danno, but she’s clearly in love with him when she wrote that and he was at Coronado training to be a SEAL. It wasn’t like Dad’s job was sprung on her, you know, she knew what he was training for right from the start. She knew and it still wasn’t enough, she still left. I don’t understand.”

Ian’s arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close. He kissed the top of her head and asked, “Have you talked to your Mom about that? Asked her what she was feeling back then?”

“Yeah, I tried, but all she would say is that she loved Dad very much and all she wanted was for him to chase after her. She’s putting all the blame on him. I don’t know, Ian. I just can’t tell what I’m feeling anymore.”

She couldn’t help it, she cried. She didn’t want to, didn’t want Ian to see her break, but his arm felt so strong and his scent, the familiar tang of chlorine mixed with something so uniquely Ian that it felt comforting, and she lost it.

She cried for the family she could have had, she cried for the family she did have but was falling apart, and she cried because her Dad wasn’t there and all she wanted more than anything was a hug from her Daddy.

So she sobbed into Ian’s shoulder and he just sat there, rubbing a hand up and down her back, whispering soothing words in her ear. After what seemed like hours and she had cried all the tears she could, she pulled back wiping at her eyes. She felt the heat of Ian’s hand come up towards her face and swipe at a tear that had escaped her hand and was crawling its way down her cheek. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but seemed to think better of it and closed his mouth, clearing his throat as he pulled away from her a little.

“Oh, I found a picture I thought you might like,” he said to clear the awkward silence that had fallen between them. He handed her a small Polaroid picture, those old ones that used to print out immediately and you had to shake until the film developed.

Flipping it over to see the front, Avery couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped her mouth. Her father was standing chest-deep in the water behind their house, looking out across the vast expanse of ocean, the Hawaiian sun just beginning to peak its rays out from over the horizon, his back towards the person taking the picture. In his arms was Avery, not older than six months, her chubby arms grasped firmly around her father’s neck, her head resting on his shoulder. Her legs and bottom were submerged under the water as her father stood there, clearly attempting to soothe her.

The picture was beautiful in its own right; the pink and orange hues of dawn silhouetting the father-daughter pair in a beautiful light, the clearly private moment between them obvious. But what really made the picture special was the caption on the bottom: ‘Avery’s first swim.’

There in front of her was a visual representation of a story that she’s heard told over and over countless times, a memory her father held most precious. 

“My Dad talks about this moment all the time,” she said to Ian who was beginning to look concerned when he saw the beginnings of tears start to well up in her eyes again. She laughed at his nervous face and pulled him into a hug, “Thank you for finding this, you have no idea what this picture means to me. I never told you why swimming and the water was so important to me.”

“You always said it was because it kept you connected with your Dad.”

“Yeah, and that’s part of it, but there’s more and this picture is it. This was taken when I was six months old; it was my first time in Hawaii. My dad had brought me down here to stay with my Grandpa while my Dad was working. Since Dad was active duty he couldn’t exactly be a single parent. So, he left me here to stay with my Grandpa and he came to visit whenever he had time off. Anyway, Dad was still new at the whole parenting thing and was having a lot of trouble getting me to stop crying one morning. He didn’t want to wake Grandpa and so he did everything he could to try and soothe me. Nothing worked, so he walked outside in hopes that it would make it less loud for Grandpa. Something, Dad’s never been so sure what, drew him towards the water. He says it was the place he always felt the calmest, the most centered, and he thought that even if it didn’t stop me from crying that at least he’d be calmer. So he waded into the water, pajama bottoms and all, and brought me deep enough so that my feet would be under water. He said that he’s never seen anything like it. It was like the minute the water hit my feet I quieted down. I looked down at my feet and then back up at him with these big, questioning eyes. He walked a little farther so that my whole bottom half was under water, and I just sat there for a few minutes, taking deep breaths, and then in only minutes of hitting the water, I had quieted down and was so calm I had put my head back on his shoulder and began to fall back asleep. He said the look I gave him right before was a look of pure contentment, comfort, home. He said it was that moment that he realized that we would be okay, that even without Gwen, even though he’d be gone a lot, that we would make it through and that we would be a family. And he was completely right. Swimming reminds me of my Dad, it makes me feel close to him because it’s what reminds me of the promise he made to me that day, even though I’ve only heard about it through stories years later, it reminds me that he promised to never leave my side, to be my Dad no matter what, that he would never leave me.”

Avery looked at the picture for a few more seconds before hearing a deep voice clear their throat loudly behind them. Jumping slightly at the new noise, Ian and Avery turned around to see Danny standing in the front doorway holding a six pack of Coke and a large pizza.

“What are you guys looking at,” Danny asked as he placed to food down beside the box of pictures.

“Dad told me about this box when we talked on the phone. Ian came over to help me get it.”

“You called Ian to come over to get a box out of my closet?”

“Yes, and to keep me company while I looked through it.”

Avery tried to choose her words carefully; she could see Danno building up into a rant of epic proportions. But, surprisingly, he calmed down when he saw the tear stains on her cheeks and the red hue to her eyes. He sat down on her other side and took the picture she’d been explaining to Ian. “I found this picture a few years ago tucked away inside your grandfather’s desk. I don’t think your father even knows about it.”

“Why didn’t you show it to him?”

“Because it was clear that your Grandpa didn’t want him to see it, that it was a picture personal to him, the way he wanted to remember his son. I respected that. I knew your father didn’t look in this box very often, and I thought that if anyone deserved to have this picture it would be you.”

Avery wrapped her arms around Danny, “Thank you, Danno.”

“You’re very welcome, munchkin.”

They sat there for a few minutes before Ian stirred the couch when he tried to get up without interrupting their moment. “I think I’m just going to head out. I told Mom I’d be home for dinner.”

“Sure you don’t want to stay,” Danny asked, “I’ve got plenty and Grace should be over soon.”

“Nah, thanks for the offer though, Danny. I’m sure I’ll see you soon since someone has to keep this wahine lolo busy while she’s not able to walk.” Ian was looking everywhere except straight at Danny, a blush forming on his cheeks. Avery couldn’t help the giggle that escaped, but quickly quieted down when Ian shot her a death glare over Danny’s shoulder.

Danny laughed as he walked Ian to the door. Avery just stayed where she was glaring in his direction, muttering under breath, “Like I’m the crazy one in our friendship Mr. ‘I need to be at the store by two AM to be first in line for the new video game to come out.’ Please come with me, Aves, I’ll love you forever. Ugh, kane lolo.”

The door clicked behind Ian and Danny made his way back towards the couch. “So, you ready to eat? No reason to wait, Grace already said she wasn’t hungry.”

Avery polished off three pieces before Grace came through the door. “Hey,” Grace greeted as she sat down next to Avery and took the last piece of crust off her plate with a smile.

“C’mon, upstairs, now,” Grace commanded as she handed Avery’s crutches over to her and walked slowly behind to make sure Avery was okay getting up the stairs.

“I’m not an invalid, Grace,” Avery whined, “I can make it up the stairs myself.”

“I’m sure you can, but excuse me for wanting to make sure you are okay.”

They got into Avery’s room and after making sure Avery was comfortable on her bed, Grace immediately got to work setting up everything she brought with her. “Okay, nail polish because people are going to be looking at your feet all the time now so we need to make sure they look nice, plus pedicures are relaxing…”

“I don’t think I can exactly have a pedicure with this cast on my ankle.”

“It’s going to be a half pedicure, half polish application. Your uninjured foot deserves attention too,” Grace smiled at her as she continued to take things out of her bag. Avery just rolled her eyes in Grace’s direction and waited for her sister to finish.

“I also brought the whole first season of Grey’s Anatomy because I’ve been begging you to watch it for years and now we have the perfect excuse, and as an additional bribe, I brought two boxes of Raisinets which I know are your favorite movie candy.”

“Bless you,” Avery said as she lunged for the box in Grace’s hand.

Raisinets were her biggest weakness. If you sat her down with a big tub of them she’d eat three quarters of it without blinking; she knows this from experience. 

And fuck it, she was going to be out of the pool for over a month while her ankle heeled, she could do with a relaxing evening with her sister, complete with the perfect chocolate candy.

*H50*  
They made it halfway through the first season of Grey’s before Avery flipped the pause button on and looked pointedly at Grace. “Now, I know that part of the reason you came over here was because you love me and wanted to make sure I was okay, and I appreciate that very much. But, I also know that you were dying for an excuse to get out of your house and you’ve been trying to find them for weeks. So, for the last time, and I’m injured here so you have to do as I ask, I’m asking you to tell me what’s really going on at your house.”

Grace sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest. “I don’t know, it’s just, it’s awful. All they do is fight, you know. Fight and tell me I’m worthless.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I’m not the perfect society daughter who knows which fork you’re supposed to use when you’re at brunch, like how the fuck am I supposed to know there’s more than one fork at brunch. I thought brunch just meant bagels and sandwich meat with some egg dish on the side. It’s ridiculous too, the things that I’m supposed to do. I have to have my tennis lessons at three o’clock on Tuesdays because that’s when the Richman’s daughter has her lessons and Step-Stan picks me up because Mr. Richman always stays to watch his daughter and that way they can talk business. It’s so stupid because then Step-Stan spends the whole car ride complaining about how I should be more like the Richman’s daughter or that I’m an embarrassment because I tell everyone that asks that I want to go to college at the Naval Academy.”

“You want to go to Annapolis?” Avery was shocked. She had never heard Grace mention once that she had any interest in joining the military.

Grace nodded, “I want to serve my country; I want to make Steve proud.”

“Well I think you’d be great in the Navy, but you know that Dad will be proud of you no matter what you decide to do after high school.”

“I know, but I want to do this. I want to go to Annapolis and become the best Naval officer I can.”

“Why haven’t you told me this before?”

“Because when Mom pulled out the college guide at the end of the school year and said we should start setting up meetings and begin to make a list, I told her I already had a place in mind. She got all excited asking if it was Yale or Harvard. I told her that I wanted to go to the Naval Academy. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen her speechless before. But then she got her speech back and it wasn’t pretty. She told me that under no circumstances would I ever be allowed to step foot at that school, that no daughter of hers would ever join the military, that I had an image to maintain and that required a school like Brown or Princeton. I told her that I was not going to go to an Ivy League school even if I decided not to go to Annapolis. I told her that I’d been thinking about it for a while, that I’d actually done some research on the opportunities I could have to learn foreign languages, travel around the world, that being in the Navy doesn’t necessarily mean I would be in the line of enemy fire twenty-four/seven. I told her that I wanted to follow in my father’s footsteps and she slapped me across the face and told me that Steve is not my father and he never would be and banished me to my room. I’ve barely been allowed to do anything since and she’s been fighting Danno left and right to prevent me from coming over here as much as possible; she’s convinced that you guys are trying to convince me to go even though I told her a hundred times that none of you, not even Steve, knows that I’m even considering applying to Annapolis.”

“She hit you?”

Grace nodded.

“Grace, you need to tell Danno. You aren’t safe in that house if she’s hitting you.”

“It was just that one time, I swear, and I know it was only because she was so upset. And I know it’s not an excuse, that she shouldn’t have done it, but she’s not regularly hitting me.”

“But she’s yelling at you, telling you that you’re a disappointment, saying that Dad isn’t your real father. You aren’t a toy and your life is not theirs to control. You need to tell Danno what’s going on. You need to get out of there.”

“Mom will never let that happen and I know that Danno will overreact. I can’t put him through another custody battle when he’s going through one with your Mom.”

“I’ll disown my mother if that’s what it takes to get you out of there,” Avery said as she placed her hands firmly on Grace’s forearms to get her attention, “You are my sister and there’s nothing that means more to me than your safety.”

“So, I guess this means you’re going to make me tell Danno.”

“You better fucking believe it.”


	19. Lonely Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I hope it's worth it :) Thanks to my lovely beta jerseybelle for betaing this in literally hours! You kick ass!
> 
> Okay, so, reason for long author's note, this story has only 4 chapters left plus an epilogue! I cannot believe it's getting so close to the end. I've been working on this story for almost a year and now it's almost done. Crazy! But, since it's almost done, I need to decide what I'm going to write next. And I want to write a story that you all would be interested in reading. I have three ideas which I am going to list here with small descriptions. Please send me a PM or include in your review what story idea you would love to see. FYI, I will be writing all three stories at some point, but with being a full-time student and planning my wedding, I can't take on all the projects at once, have to pick and choose! So here they are:
> 
> 1\. McDanno story: It will be one chapter per episode of the show, and basically add scenes or change canon scenes a little to see the progress of Danny and Steve's relationship. I will pretty much stay as close to canon events as possible, but alter the storyline to have McDanno happen eventually. This story will be ongoing, obviously, as new seasons/episodes air.
> 
> 2\. McDanno AU: This story would be a young adult AU where Steve is an active duty Navy SEAL and Danny is his husband. In this story DADT is gone like in real life, but same-sex couples also get the same rights and benefits in the military like other-sex couples. The main point of the story will be to see what it's like to be married to a SEAL, Danny dealing with the politics of living on a Navy base, what his role is as an officer's spouse, being a same-sex couple, being around mostly wives, and still having his own career. Gracie and Rachel will definitely play a role (won't say what!) and all the other main H50 characters will play a role as well, just not sure what yet.
> 
> 3\. Sterek story: This would be a sickfic. And by sickfic I mean serious, life-threatening illness sick. So it will be angst, but hopefully have plenty of funny, light-hearted moments too. This is a new idea so the details aren't solidified, but it will either be just starting out Sterek where they are just starting dating when this falls on their plate from the start or pre-slash to ending with a Sterek pairing. I'm willing to do either if people prefer one over the other. It will be canon-compliant otherwise, so Derek and the rest will be werewolves. I may play around with pack allegiance, but not sure yet.
> 
> Teen Wolf is a new fandom I'm obsessed with. I know that this is an H50 story, so if you aren't a part of the Teen Wolf fandom, feel free to ignore that idea, just wanted to put it out there if you are interested! Enjoy the newest chapter :)

*Danny's POV*

In hindsight, Danny probably should have seen this coming, probably should have noticed the signs, the little moments of vulnerability that Grace let him in on that should have made him more suspicious.

But, of course, Danny had been so caught up in Gwen and Steve and custody battles that he hadn’t spent the time he needed to realize that Grace was suffering. Well, he knew she wasn’t particularly happy, but he thought it was normal teenage angst.

Because all teenagers go through a period of hating everything their parents do, right?

This was apparently not one of those situations, though. So, when Avery and Grace came down the stairs later that evening, Danny wished he’d been more prepared.

“Danno,” Avery said after Danny and Grace and helped her sit down on the recliner with her leg propped up on a pillow from her bedroom. “Grace has something she needs to talk to you about.”

Danny looked over at Grace who was wringing her hands and looking decidedly at the floor, “What’s going on, monkey?”

“Avery is blowing this way out of proportion,” Grace started.

“No, I’m not.”

“I probably just didn’t explain the whole situation right, made it sound worse than it was.”

“Grace, in no way can you make what you told me sound better.”

“Can someone please let me in on what’s going on?”

“I want to come live with you and Steve,” Grace said so quietly that Danny didn’t hear her at first, making her look up at him and repeat it.

Danny didn’t know what to feel, what to think. He was beyond ecstatic because he’d get to have both his girls under one roof almost all of the time, but he knew there had to be a reason, a particularly bad reason for Grace to be so nervous about asking to move in with them.

He knew whatever it was had to do with Rachel and would probably lead to more lawyers.

He hated lawyers.

“Gracie, honey, we’d be happy to have you live here, but you must know that’s not something you have to be worried about asking.”

“Yeah, but Mom’s not going to allow it.”

“We can go and talk to your mother together and figure out the best solution. All your mother and I want is for you to be happy, and if living here will make you happy than I think it’s a discussion worth having. But, why do you want to move in? If it’s because your Mom wouldn’t let you do something or buy something I don’t think that’s a legitimate reason to leave. But, since I’m a very skilled detective, I seem to think there is something going on that you aren’t telling me.”

“It’s really nothing.” Grace stood up in an attempt to dodge the conversation.

‘Okay,’ Danny thought, ‘this is definitely worse than I assumed.’

“Grace,” Danny stuck an arm out to grab hold of her hand and pulled her back towards the couch. “Talk to me, what’s going on. You’re starting to scare me.”

Grace shuffled on her feet, continuing to try and put off answering Danny’s question. “Grace, baby, I need you to tell me.”

“Grace,” Avery said from her position across from them, “If you don’t tell him then I will.”

Danny was officially scared.

This wasn’t something small. No, whatever this was it was big. Big, bad, and terrifying. And he was going to have to deal with it alone, without Steve, again.

“Mom and I haven’t been getting along very well.”

Avery scoffed behind them. Danny turned and gave her a look, quickly shutting her up. He turned back to Grace and waited for her to continue.

“I can’t do anything right for them. All they do is tell me how embarrassing I am or that I’m worthless, that I’m not doing anything good for Step-Stan’s business image and it’s hurting his career. I hate tennis and I miss surfing and hanging out with my real friends. I hate the kids at the club but Mom won’t let me hang out with anyone else, even my old friends. And when I told her that I want to go to the Naval Academy for college she told me that under no circumstances would any child of hers ever go to Annapolis. I said I wanted to serve and protect my country just like my father. She slapped me and told me that Steve would never be my father and she sent me to my room and since then she’s barely let me do anything, and that’s why she’s been preventing me from coming here. She thinks you and Steve are brainwashing me, trying to get me killed. But, Danno, I told her that you guys didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know she would get so angry.”

Grace had collapsed into tears, falling into Danny’s arms as he pulled her in close and rubbed soothing circles around her back. 

He was trying to remain calm for her, comfort her, but inside he was seething. He can’t remember a time he was angrier than he was right now. Fucking Rachel. Fucking Rachel and fucking Stan telling his little girl that she’s worthless, telling her that Steve’s not her real father.

Hitting her.

Someone put a hand on his baby girl. 

As much as he’s bitched and moaned and complained about Rachel, said she’s vindictive, yelled about her lording her new wealth and power over him, he never once, ever, thought she would lay a hand on Grace.

He wouldn’t have given in to her request to keep Grace with her.

He would have fought harder.

He would have done anything to prevent Grace from living in that environment.

And what’s worse, well not worse but just another awful thing to add to the ever-growing list is that Rachel still, even after all these years, is trying to undermine Steve’s place in Grace’s life. 

Avery and Steve have an incredible relationship. Their father-daughter bond is one of storybooks and fairytales. He’s her hero and she is the light of his life. But Grace and Steve, their relationship is special too. Steve nurtured Grace’s passion for water sports. He took her out in their backyard days and days in a row while she learned to stand up on a surfboard. He spent hours sitting on the back deck listing off the Hawaiian words for the things Grace pointed out. Steve introduced Grace to her new home, taught her the culture, the language, showed her the places important to its history, important to him. Steve welcomed Grace into his heart, considered her family, and Grace quickly developed a dependence on Steve.

He became the person she turned to when she was scared, hurt, or worried. Danny knew that he would always be her Danno, always be her father, and he was happy to see her consider Steve as important a person in her life as she considered him and Rachel. 

And yeah, he was a little proud that Steve developed that bond with her and Step-Stan never did.

Danny, even though it terrified the shit out of him to even think about it, wasn’t surprised that Grace wanted to follow in Steve’s footsteps, wanted to make him proud. Grace was tough. He knew she could be a highly decorated, successful Naval Officer.

“Gracie, baby, everything’s going to be okay,” Danny assured her. “We are going to go over there right now and get you a bag and then you will come over here. I will talk with your Mom. I don’t want you there. Your safety is the most important thing to me, Gracie, and even if it was a one-time thing, the constant yelling, the hurtful comments, those aren’t right either. It all adds up to not okay.”

“She’s going to be so angry, Danno. She’s going to bring you to court again.”

“And I’m going to fight her every step of the way, Grace. Steve and I, all we want is for you girls to be happy, to follow your dreams, to live the life you want. You deserve that. I thought your Mom understood that, but obviously she doesn’t and I’m going to make sure you get that privilege again.”

Danny held onto Grace a few minutes longer, tears beginning to well up in his own eyes. He didn’t know what to say, how to make this better because Grace was right. Rachel would take him to court, would fight him. And how the hell was he going to deal with two custody battles? How is that even going to look to a judge? He’s fighting to keep his parental rights for one child and fighting to protect another child’s right to choose her own career path.

Fuck, he just couldn’t catch a break.

After swallowing back the tears, steeling himself because he had to be strong for Grace; this wasn’t about him. He scooped Grace up and steered her towards the front door. “Aves, will you be okay by yourself for a little while?”

Avery nodded, squeezing Grace’s hand for a few moments as they walked by, “I love you, Grace, everything’s going to be okay.”

Danny walked out the door guiding one crying girl towards the car while his second daughter sat on a recliner with a broken ankle. Wow, he certainly wasn’t winning father of the year anytime soon.

Steve really needed to come home.

*H50*  
The drive over to Rachel’s house was dead silent, like graveyard crypt silent. 

Danny was at a loss for words; he had no idea how to fill the silence, cut the tension that had filled up the car around them. He looked over at Grace. She had curled herself up into as small a ball as possible in the passenger seat of the Camaro. Tears had stained her face red and her hair was falling out of its ponytail. Every so often she’d break the silence with a sniffle and Danny wanted so badly to reach a hand out and tell her everything was going to be okay.

But he couldn’t. He had no idea if it was going to be okay, and he was sick of lying. Sick of lying to himself, to his friends, and to his family. Tired of pretending that Steve being gone was okay, that Gwen being back would somehow work itself out, and he was not willing to spend the rest of the car ride pretending he had any idea of what was going to happen once they got there. He didn’t know and he didn’t want to make empty promises.

So he said the only thing he knew for certain, “I love you, monkey. I will always love you, and I promise that you will not be hurt again.”

Because that he could promise. He could promise to love her forever, he could promise to do everything he could to make sure she was safe even if it meant breaking the law or getting her emancipated so she could move out. He would give her up if it meant she’d be safe.

He hoped it wouldn’t come to that, hoped that Rachel would see reason, but she hit his little girl and was so lost in her new world of image and status that he didn’t have huge faith in her being reasonable.

They pulled up to the iron gate swinging open after he punched in the code. Rachel was already outside waiting on the stoop before he’d put the car in park. He looked over at Grace one last time, seeing her visibly shaking, eyes scared as she looked at Rachel’s pissed off face. That look, the terrified, vulnerable look in her eye braced him against whatever Rachel threw at him. He was ready; he was going to fight for Grace even if he never made it back out again. 

“Go inside and pack a suitcase with all your important stuff. I know you have clothes and things at our house, but I don’t know the next time you’ll be coming over here so get anything you think you may need.” Grace nodded that she understood and they got out of the car, Danny stopping in front of Rachel and Grace running past her into the house.

“Daniel, what are you doing here? It’s getting late and I would like to get Charlie to bed at a decent hour.”

“I am only here to pick up some stuff for Grace and let you know that she’s moving in with me and Steve.”

Rachel reared back, her face contorting into an ugly grimace. “I’m sorry, she’s moving where?”

“She’s moving in with me, and if you have a problem with that you can talk to my lawyer who I will be contacting in the morning to begin a petition to the courts to have Grace’s custody agreement changed. She will no longer be living with you here in this house where the environment is unsafe.”

“It is not unsafe for her here. Here she gets to be part of a real family, gets to interact with good people who have class, and she doesn’t have to spend her nights worried about what might happen to her if the people supposed to be taking care of her die.”

Danny couldn’t hold it in any longer. He tried, he tried so damn hard to be civil, to be as polite as possible, but fuck it. He was done. Done playing the nice guy, done being the guy who picked up everyone’s mess, done being the guy left behind to soothe every ruffled feather. So he laid into her, he yelled and ranted and he barely took a breath. 

“Fuck that, Rachel. You know exactly what I’m talking about and do not dare stand here in front of me and tell me that it’s not unsafe for her here. This house is toxic; this family you talk about, it’s not a real family. You hit her, Rachel. Fuck, after everything you’ve done to me, every hurtful, mean and spiteful thing you’ve said, I let it go because I never thought you’d do that to her. I thought she was safe here. And, yeah, I should have realized it sooner and that’s on me. I let everything else going on in my life take away from the attention I should have been showing Grace, and I will spend the next many weeks trying to make that up to her. But I never once put her in danger. I never told her that what she wanted, what she dreamed of was not okay. I don’t tell her lies about you or Stan or your relationship, but you know what, I’m done. You’ve spent the last ten years taking every opportunity you can find to say why my relationship with Steve is wrong, why Steve shouldn’t be a part of Grace’s life, and why I made a home that wasn’t safe for our daughter. Well, I’m done. Fuck, I’m sick of holding it in, lying to her, to you, to everyone. Your relationship is shit, Rachel. All you and Stan do is fight and yell and throw things at each other. You have forced Grace to live in a house that doesn’t have love, respect, or support. You stay with Stan because he has money. Stan stays with you because you’ll be the pretty wife he needs to show off to his business partners. You don’t think he sleeps around on the side because he does. And you know what, I know that you know that. I know you look the other way. You don’t love him and he doesn’t love you. And Grace is caught in the middle. You’ve spent the last five years, maybe even more, using her as another bargaining chip, another status symbol. Our daughter is not here to make you look better. She’s her own person and she deserves to live out her dreams, whatever they are. And if you ever tell Grace that Steve is not her father I will come down here and I will not be responsible for my actions.”

“He is your biggest mistake that unfortunately stuck around. You want to live your life in fantasyland that’s fine, but Grace is not going to be a part of it.”

“Rachel, all of that doesn’t matter. What you think about Steve, our relationship, or the role he plays in Grace’s life doesn’t matter. In the end the only thing that matters to any judge will be that you hit her. You hit her, you and Stan tell her that she’s worthless, you force her to spend time with people she doesn’t like, you refuse to let her see her friends, and you have created a toxic environment. So no matter what your opinion is of my family, no judge will ever rule in your favor, not when Grace is saying that she wants to move out because she’s not happy.”

“You cannot say that in court, Danny. What would people think?”

“Rachel, look at yourself. Who are you? I don’t even recognize this person anymore. I am standing here telling you that our daughter is moving in with me because you hit her and treated her like crap and all you’re worried about is what it would look like to other people? You’re not even ashamed or guilty about what you did? Fuck, I can’t believe I let this happen as long as I did. Rachel, I am happy to settle this outside of court. You don’t want people to know then we set up a meeting as soon as possible with our lawyers and we agree to a different custody arrangement. That’s fine with me, but mark my fucking words, you don’t agree to let me have full custody than so fucking help me god I will fight you until my last breath before I let her come back here.”

“You cannot take her away from me; she’s my daughter, a girl needs her mother.”

“You stopped being a mother the minute you put your needs before hers.” Danny saw Grace appear in the doorway behind Rachel with her suitcase packed, standing to the side to stay out of the line of fire.

Danny motioned to her, “C’mon, Gracie, let’s go home. Rachel, my lawyer will be in touch, and anything else you wish to say to me can be done through her. Here’s her card.”

“Grace, please tell your father that you’re happy here,” Rachel pleaded as she grabbed hold of Grace’s arm as she passed.

“Mom, you taught me never to lie, so I’m sorry, but I can’t say that.” Danny could see how hard it was for Grace to turn her back on her mom. No teenager was supposed to be more of an adult than the parent, but Grace was forced to be more mature than she had any right to be, coming clean and knowing that she couldn’t go back, that it wasn’t safe, no matter how much she loved her mom.

“Grace, you cannot stay with them. You won’t get everything you deserve.”

“What I deserve is a family who loves and supports me, and unfortunately, I am not getting that here. I hope in the future you can be happy for me no matter what I chose to do for my life, but right now, as much as I love you, I cannot stay here.”

Danny put his arms around Grace’s shoulders, pulling her away from Rachel in the direction of the car. He felt the anger still bubbling inside of him, but he pushed it away. He pushed it away because he was done yelling, done fighting. He needed to be here for Grace now. And Grace didn’t need a hothead father, no, she needed a loving and caring father and that’s what he was going to be.

He may have dropped the ball over the last few months, but he wasn’t going to let his past performance dictate his future performance.

He was going to be the best damn father Grace had ever had. Period.

*H50*  
This time the car ride wasn’t silent, but Danny would certainly trade back for the silence if he could get rid of the sound of Grace’s sobs.

“Gracie, sweetie, I am so proud of how you stood up to her. You weren’t dramatic or exaggerating, you told her exactly how you were feeling and you stood up for what you deserve. That’s hard to do in any situation, but especially when you have to stand up to a parent. We aren’t perfect and we make mistakes, and it’s our children’s job to understand that, especially when we admit our mistakes. But, we also can’t abuse that place in your life, and I’m so proud of you for realizing that things were getting to a point where you couldn’t fix them and they wouldn’t get better. I am so sorry that I wasn’t there for you sooner.”

“No, Dad,” Grace said. Danny’s heart stopped a little; she rarely called him Dad.

“Dad, you don’t have to apologize. You’ve had so much going on with Gwen back and Steve gone. I didn’t want you to know, and I knew that you wouldn’t realize as long as I hid the most obvious signs. I should have come to you sooner; I just didn’t want Mom to think I hate her because no matter what she says or does, I still love her. What am I supposed to do with that? I love the woman who tells me I’m worthless and slaps me when I tell her I want to join the Navy. But she’s my mom. And you have to know that it only got this bad the last year or so. She and Stan haven’t been doing well and I think the pressure and stress has gotten to her. I know it’s not an excuse, but it wasn’t always like this.”

“I know it wasn’t always like this, and your mother still loves you very much, and I know, deep down, she’s really proud of you. Her relationship with Stan is suffering and although you shouldn’t be put in the middle of it, and it’s not an excuse, it is affecting her mood and behavior. I am so sorry that you got caught in the middle though. You will always love your Mom, and that’s why after everything dies down, you move out, and everyone has time to cool down, you’ll be able to forgive her. You will be able to build back up a new relationship. I’m not worried about that. I know that she loves you and in spite of everything that’s happened, that will never change. I just think she’s not in a place to be the mother she needs to be to you.”

“I just feel like shit for dumping this on you. You already have enough to deal with.”

“Grace Elizabeth Williams, do not ever feel guilty for coming to me for something. I am your father and I love you. It is my job to support you and be there for you when you are dealing with hard things. You and Avery are my life; I would sacrifice everything to make sure you two are happy and safe. I can handle all of this.”

“But you’re all alone, Danno. You’ve been struggling without Steve, we can all see it.”

And if Danny didn’t feel like shit before, he sure feels like shit now. Because Grace noticed how bad Danny had been handling things recently, but he couldn’t recognize the suffering Grace was enduring at home. 

He was a shit father. And a shit husband for lying to Steve. And a shit detective because he was letting his personal life affect his work.

Thankfully Chin and Kono had been able to bail him out of his latest screw-up.

“Grace, I am lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life. Yes, this deployment hasn’t been easy for me, but I am handling it and you do not have to worry about me. That’s my job; I’m the parent.”

“I just want you to be happy, Danno.”

“And I’m happy as long as you’re happy, Monkey.”

*H50*  
When they got home Danny could see Avery peeking out the front window through the curtain. She may have thought she was subtle, slowly pushing it back in place, but he was trained to notice the little details.

“What happened? Grace, are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying. Is she staying?”

Danny laughed for the first time in what seemed like forever. It was the stress of the day finally pulling him apart. “Relax, munchkin. Grace is going to be staying here with us indefinitely. It was a tough conversation, but I think we are all going to make it through, but only with the help of some perfectly timed ice cream sundaes.”

That got him two thankful smiles, but the mood in the house could only be described as somber at best. It was too much for all of them, too much in the span of such a short period of time to deal with quickly. And that was fine; they would make it through, he knew that.

He calmed himself down by busying himself with making the best goddamn sundaes the girls had ever seen, complete with real hot fudge and homemade whipped cream (Grace had gone through a ‘I want to be a baker’ spell and Mary thought it would be great to buy her a can that made homemade whipped cream. After one fateful attempt that had Steve scraping cream off the ceiling for weeks after, it had taken up residence in the back of a cabinet). He even added maraschino cherries on top for good measure.

“Here you go girls,” he said as he placed the two heaping bowls on the coffee table in front of them, taking his own bowl to the recliner. “Eat up before it melts in this god awful Hawaiian heat.”

“Don’t lie, Danno, ever since that woman told you about living in Alaska you’ve been thankful you live here,” Avery said without missing a beat, in between pulling the cherry off the stem and attempting to contort her tongue in certain ways as to form a knot in the middle of the stem.

It was a skill that Danny decided he did not want to know where she learned.

“Well, you may have got me there. I have to admit that there have been a few people who have done a very good job launching a convert Danno campaign.”

Again quiet laughter met his ears but the room quickly turned silent and sullen again, each person concentrating on their own bowl of ice cream – chocolate for Avery, Moose Tracks for Grace, and good old-fashioned vanilla for him.

Steve would kill him in his sleep if he knew how many half gallons of ice cream were in their fridge at that very moment.

Eh, what Steve doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

“I wish Dad was here,” Avery said to no one in particular and when Danny looked up she had already turned her attention back to her ice cream as if she didn’t even realize she’d said it.

“Yeah, I wish he was here too,” Grace agreed.

“He’ll be home soon, I’m sure.”

“Danno, you can’t know that. You can never know that. We won’t know he’s coming home or even close to coming home until he calls us and tells us. He missed the whole summer and now school’s already starting and it sucks.” Avery fell back against the couch, her face screwed up in annoyance at his feeble attempt to raise the hope in the room.

“You’re right,” Danny said, deciding it was time to take on the parenting role. “We don’t know when he’s coming back and we have no idea how much longer we will have to wait. But, when he does come home, every single day we waited will be worth it. We will get to hug him and see him and know that he’s safe. He will tell us he loves us and we will get to hear his voice and know that he’s here again. You girls know he’s always thinking about you, that he’s always here, in your hearts.”

“Looking at pictures of him and reading e-mails just really isn’t cutting it anymore,” Grace said as she helped Avery get up off the couch.

They both silently walked upstairs to their rooms and Danny just sat there, stilled, unable to move because she was right.

It wasn’t working anymore. They weren’t going to manage much longer without him, and they certainly couldn’t handle another monumental crisis without him there as backup.

Danny couldn’t handle another crisis without him.

He couldn’t handle another one of his own fuck-ups without Steve to laugh it off with him and kiss away the guilt.

Sighing, Danny cleared away the dishes, leaving them in the sink for the morning and trudged his way up the stairs. He doesn’t know why this deployment was particularly harder than the previous ones. It’s not like this is anything new, but for some reason Danny just couldn’t bring himself to stop worrying, to stop feeling at all.

All he felt was raw emptiness, his bedroom a constant reminder of the giant, gaping, Steve-shaped hole in his world. He crawled into bed, pulling the pillow from Steve’s side against his chest. He breathed in deep but all he could smell was their laundry detergent. 

For the first few weeks after Steve left Danny would pull that pillow up flush against his stomach, the top just below his nose, and he’d breathe deep, pulling in Steve’s scent, and it would lull him to sleep in a feeling of comfort and warmth. But now, now the scent had long since disappeared and it was more of a habit to hold onto the pillow than any actual benefit. 

He pushed the pillow away a few minutes later, grabbing his laptop off the bedside table and pulling it into his lap. He needed to feel close to Steve, needed to feel like he wasn’t alone even though he was.

So he read. He read long into the night, long after his eyes began to burn and the words began to blur together. He read until he’d memorized every word Steve had written to him, picturing Steve’s voice saying the words, thinking about Steve huddled in a communication tent on a Naval base, trying to quickly type out a reply as many other sailors waited for their turn.

He knows that Steve always cuts his time short so others can have more.

And usually Danny commends Steve for that, but now he can’t. He can’t be thankful that he has to go with a few less words, a few less moments to hold him along until the next time he becomes too weak.

At some point Danny falls asleep, tears staining his cheeks, the laptop falling onto its side, and Steve infiltrating his dreams.


	20. Your Kiss, It Feels Like Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever! But, I hope that this was well worth the wait! I think you will all be so much happier with me by the end :)
> 
> Please leave a comment, they mean so much to me! And thanks, as always, to my amazing beta jerseybelle who not only edited this in record time, but also helped me flesh out some important details in this chapter.

*Danny's POV*

Life passes much the same in the next few weeks. Grace fits seamlessly right back into their normal routine, helping out where she can and being generally much happier than she had been in the previous few months.

Avery, on the other hand, was happy Grace was around more, but the lack of physical activity was grating on her last nerve and everyone in the family was suffering because of it. She complained loudly when she still woke up at four in the morning and wasn’t able to fall back asleep even though she couldn’t go to the pool.

Danny and Grace got so fed up with her constant attitude that they both conspired to come up with a plan to put a smile back on her face.

Grace called Ian and told him, in no uncertain terms, that he was to get his pretty-boy ass to their house every morning and bring Avery to swim practice. She may not be able to get in the water, but she was done moping around the house all day. She would go and be around her team, work with her coach on things she could do while her ankle was healing, and be out of the house when she woke up early.

So, Ian showed up bright and early the next day, pulling Avery from her bed and down into his car. That morning Avery came back home with a smile on her face and a much more relaxed disposition. Ian became a regular figure in their household after that. He’d come by before practice every morning, eat breakfast with Avery and Danny, and then he and Avery would head off to morning practice.

Danny knew it was just a matter of time. He just had to keep reminding himself that he actually liked Ian.

Danny’s solution to Avery’s crappy mood was to call up Chin and Kono and devise a plan for some quality Uncle Chin and Auntie Kono time that did not involve anything that had to do with water. 

Chin suggested a barbeque and Kono talked about a girl’s spa day. Danny always laughed when Kono suggested girly things because you know, she’s Kono, and that’s just not how Danny ever thinks of her. But he can’t deny how much he appreciates what she does for his girls, especially Avery who up until recently didn’t have that female presence in her life.

So Chin invites them all over for a barbeque at his house and he and Malia do it up right. The food is amazing and the company is even better. Chin even had Malia bring home extra pairs of crutches from the hospital and in order to gain entrance to the party everyone had to use them. At first Avery rolled her eyes and resisted, saying how stupid it all was, but as soon as Kamekona tried to one-crutch his way down the hill racing Grace and toppled over, everyone laughed and it became a crutch-style games day.

The following weekend Kono came over to the house as soon as Avery got back from swimming and ushered both girls out the door for a day at a spa. They got facials, massages, and mani/pedis. When Kono explained the itinerary Danny almost had a coronary.

“I’m not paying for all of that, Kono,” Danny had hissed. “I thought girls’ day meant getting your nails done or something.”

“Second boss-man, relax, I got it covered. You just enjoy some peace and quiet while I restore a little femininity to their lives.”

Danny growled in her direction but she just smiled and sauntered out after the girls.

By the time everything was all said and done, the people in Danny’s life had managed to perk Avery back up to her normally bubbly self.

Of course, because this was Danny’s life, that was a short-lived experience.

*H50*  
Five weeks later the bang of the front door against the wall caused Danny’s grip to slip off the knife he was using to cut up steaks for dinner, slicing a pretty gash through his left index finger.

“Fuck,” he cursed as he grabbed a kitchen towel to staunch the blood while looking over at the quality piece of meat ruined from the injury. “Well, there goes twenty bucks out the window.”

He was just about to clean up the mess on the cutting board when he heard the second door slam upstairs. Realizing that this probably wasn’t one of those situations best ignored and saved for later, he walked up the stairs and knocked on Avery’s closed bedroom door. “Hey, munchkin, I wasn’t expecting you home from your visit with Gwen for another hour. Everything okay?”

He was pretty sure he heard a muffled, “It’s fine,” from outside the door, but the words were garbled and slurred by a mess of sobs that he could hear clearly through the door.

“Aves, what’s going on, why are you crying?”

It was an innocent question, one he wasn’t expecting to cause an even higher-pitched screech and more sobs to seep through the door. Deciding that trying to be sympathetic to a slab of wood was not helpful, he pushed open the door and found Avery curled up on her bed, hugging her stuffed seal against her chest, head facing the framed picture of Steve and her that she had on the bedside table.

“Honey, what’s wrong,” Danny asked as he crossed to the bed, sitting down next to her and rubbing soothing circles down her back.

“Everything is fine, just go away, Danno,” Avery gritted out, still hiding her tear-stained cheeks from his view.

“Clearly. How about you try again and this time you tell the truth.”

Avery sat up abruptly, swung around and almost knocked Danny off the bed with the force of her movements. Her eyes gleamed in anger behind the swollen red lids and Danny’s heart clenched a little to see a look of pure and utter despair on her face. “I told you everything’s fine. Just go away because you will never understand what I’m feeling.”

“I can still be a good listening ear.”

“Danno, just leave me alone. I really don’t want to see you right now.”

Hurt and confused Danny made his way back out of the room, closing the door behind him softly. He scrounged up some leftover chicken from dinner during the week, threw together a salad, and made quick work on boiling some pasta and adding some chopped onions and fresh garlic to a pot of jar sauce. He wasn’t sure what happened that afternoon while Avery was with Gwen, but he could already tell that whatever it was, it wasn’t good. And now he had to add on another miserable teenager to his already overflowing, emotionally-exhausting plate.

Just fucking great.

He finished setting the table and saw that Grace should be home momentarily for dinner. He walked upstairs to try and convince Avery to at least come downstairs and eat something.

She refused, bluntly, three times.

When Grace tried to talk to her but was also shut down, Danny had had enough. If she didn’t come out on her own he was going to go in there and drag her out by her ponytail if he had to, and he said as much when he knocked on her door later that night.

He had given her plenty of time to be moody and bitchy and get it out of her system. In other situations he may have allowed her to sit and stew and process a little more on her own, but he had to be extra careful when it came to Gwen. 

She was still suing him after all.

After threatening harm to her hair, Avery finally conceded to let him come inside.

“Aves, just tell me what’s going on. You don’t have to go into details. I just want to be there for you.”

“How could you possibly be there for me? You don’t understand what it’s like. You don’t understand what it’s like to have a mother who never wanted you, ever. And you’ve never had a mother pretend she wanted to be in your life when she really didn’t.”

“What are you talking about? I know that Gwen is way late to the game, but she’s here now and it looks like she’s trying.”

“Yeah, trying because she was told to.” The bitterness in Avery’s voice was hard to handle. She was never the type of person to hold a grudge, and there were very few people in this world that she downright hated or wished any ill will towards.

Fuck.

This conversation wasn’t going to bring about anything good.

“What do you mean she was only trying because she was told to?”

“Gwen has a boyfriend who wasn’t happy when he found out that she had a daughter but wasn’t actually in her life.”

Danny didn’t miss the fact that Avery had slipped back into referring to Gwen by her first name rather than ‘Mom’ like she had been doing for the past few weeks.

“So, he told her that she had to get to know me or else their relationship would be over. Apparently she loves him a lot or something, I don’t know. I mean I didn’t even know she had a fucking boyfriend.” Danny didn’t have the heart to admonish her for the foul language, so he let it go as she continued to sob, “Whatever it is, it means that she never actually wanted to get to know me and she only came to Hawaii because she didn’t want to lose her boyfriend.”

Danny had to give himself a moment to process because seriously, what the fuck. Is this really his life? Yeah, it seemed weird that Gwen showed up out of nowhere sixteen years too late, but he had never, ever, thought that this would be the ulterior motive she was hiding. Because, yeah, he knew that there was some not-so-good reason for her moving to Hawaii, but Danny had been hard pressed to figure out what it was. And he’d tried, seriously, he’d tried. He scoured through her file; looked up her employment history, looked to see if she had any debt, but nothing came back as out of place. 

For a brief moment Danny was worried that Gwen had come to try and win Steve back. Danny could tell that Gwen was smart, he expected nothing less from the woman who gave birth to Avery, so she would know that the first thing she’d have to do to even try and get back in Steve’s good graces would be to make things right with Avery. There isn’t a doubt in Danny’s mind that if Avery vetoed it then Steve wouldn’t bother.

He’s known that for years because he remembers having a very serious conversation with a five year old over milk and cookies concerning his place in her daddy’s life. It turned out that she really liked homemade food and was easy to bribe.

She also happened to think Danny was pretty cool, but he’s pretty sure the homemade lasagna and breakfast in bed for a week helped tip the scales in his favor.

So, anyway, Danny knows that Avery would forever and always hold veto power for the people who were in Steve’s and her lives.

When he had done his background check he had learned that Gwen moved back to California and began working at the same hospital where she had meet Steve. It wouldn’t surprise Danny if she had somehow managed to find out that Steve had transferred to the reserves.

Maybe she thought the reserves would be different, that she could handle it better, he wasn’t sure, but when she showed up on his doorstep all those months ago demanding to see Steve, yeah he wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d beg him to take her back.

However, as the weeks dragged on and it was pretty clear that Steve was happily married to Danny and that he still left on dangerous missions, Danny had hoped Gwen would leave with her tail between her legs and go back to the mainland and let his family continue on in peace. He figured she’d realize that being with even a reserve Navy SEAL still means months of no communication, constant worry that he won’t come home safe. Plus, Danny reasoned, their day job wasn’t much safer. 

When that didn’t happen Danny figured he’d gotten the reason for her abrupt appearance wrong. He knew there had to be something else keeping her here, he just never thought this would be the reason she’d come back.

“Avery, baby, I’m so sorry. You are one of the most amazing people I know, and I’ve been so lucky to be able to watch you grow up into the incredible young woman I see in front of me today. If Gwen can’t see what she’s missing then we’re better off without her in our lives. I wish you didn’t have to go through this pain of realizing just how much someone doesn’t care, but don’t ever forget, Danno loves you.”

She sniffled some more, arms still holding the stuffed seal tightly.

Danny didn’t move to touch her, he knew that wasn’t what she needed right then. So he sat there on the bed with her and shared in her grief, tears beginning to well up in his own eyes.

“I overheard them talking,” Avery said quietly, words muffled by the soft plush of the seal’s fur, “When I went over to her house today for a visit. They were yelling and didn’t even hear me knock on the door. It was open so I walked in and there they were, close to blows, yelling about me. At first I thought the guy was upset Gwen had tried to build a relationship with her daughter, but then Gwen started telling him that he was being selfish, that he wasn’t taking into account the fact that she had no desire to be a mom, hated having to listen to my whining, and how the last thing she wanted was to have to have a relationship with someone exactly like her ex because there was a reason he was her ex and she had no desire to relive it. And I just stood there and said nothing. She tore into Dad, she tore into me, and I just let it happen. He told her that she was being selfish, that any parent who abandoned their kid was a disgrace. She said he was a naïve little boy, and still, I did nothing. I didn’t make a noise, I didn’t even move. At one point I snapped out of it and quickly ran out the door. I have no idea if she even knows I heard everything. She tried calling a few times after I was officially late, but I switched my phone off because I couldn’t bear to even consider talking to her at this point.”

Danny moved to comfort her but Avery flinched and pulled away.

Danny saw her eyes begin to close off, her guarded walls rising up as she pulled in on herself. “Look, Danno, now you know what happened. Could you just please leave me alone?”

“Sure munchkin, get some rest. I’m right down the hall if you need me. So is Grace,” Danny added as an afterthought. Although he didn’t relish the idea of Avery not being comfortable enough to come to him and talk, it would make him feel a lot better if he knew she was going to someone he trusted, and other than Steve, there was no one he trusted more than Grace to help Avery through this tough time.

He closed the door behind him as he left, glancing back one last time to see her still curled up on top of her bedspread. Sighing, he made his way down to Grace’s room and knocked. She called him in from where she was seated at her desk doing some homework.

“Is Avery okay?”

One of Danny’s favorite things about Grace was that she called it how it is; she never saw the purpose for beating around the bush.

Danny likes to think that she got that from him.

“No, monkey, she’s not. Just, promise me that you’ll be there for her if she comes to you.”

“Of course I will, Danno, but what happened?”

Danny shook his head, “I can’t tell you that; that’s Avery’s story to tell if she wants to. But, please, be there for her if she needs you, hell, even if she doesn’t need you. This family has always prided itself on one thing: our ability to get through anything by being there for each other. Right now, with Steve being gone, we all need to step up a little more. Think you can help with that? And in return I promise to be there for you a little more than I have in the recent past.”

Grace stood up and walked over to Danny who was sitting on Grace’s neatly made bed. She threw her arms around his neck and clung. “Danno, I love you and I love this family. If Avery needs me, I’ll be there. And you need to stop blaming yourself for everything that happened with Mom. That was her fault, not yours.”

“I should have seen…”

“Maybe you should have noticed something was off a little sooner, but I wanted to hide it. You’ve apologized, you got me out of there, and you are making sure that I don’t have to be in an unsafe environment like that again. You are looking out for me.”

“Danno loves you, Gracie.”

“I love you, too.”

*H50*  
Danny went to bed that evening with too many thoughts fighting their way to the top of his consciousness to get a restful night’s sleep. He tossed and turned for most of the night before officially confirming it a losing battle and getting out of bed to throw on a pair of running shorts and his running shoes.

He had stayed in shape over the years, being married to Steve would do that to you, but he definitely wasn’t a spring chicken anymore, the hard years on the police force wreaking havoc on his joints.

His banged up knee protested with each step he took, but he kept running. Plugged in to the music blasting through his iPod, the sun just beginning to peak out over the horizon, Danny finally let his mind wander through all the thoughts vying for top-billing. 

Was Avery ever going to come to him for help? Was his relationship with her permanently broken or was there any way he could manage to bring it back to where it was before Gwen swooped in and destroyed everything? How much was it going to cost to make sure Grace stayed with them until her eighteenth birthday? How is Gwen going to react when she realizes what Avery heard? Who is Gwen’s boyfriend? Will he get violent with her or Avery or anyone in their family when he learns that they’re preventing Gwen from seeing her daughter? When is Steve coming home?

That last question was always in the back of Danny’s mind, stressful situations bringing it to the forefront every now and then. 

Things would be easier if Steve was here.

Things were always infinitely more interesting when Steve was around (Danny had one too many scars to prove it), but Danny always had back-up.

And he could sure use some back-up right now.

He could also use a warm body, a loving embrace, and good long, hard fuck because he was seriously wound tighter than he’d ever been.

His pace slowed as he finally pulled away from his inner musings to realize where he was. He’d made his way up to the top of one of Steve’s favorite mountain passes to run along. He’d taken Danny here a number of times over the years.

Even Danny’s subconscious was screaming for Steve to come home.

Having already made it to the peak, Danny took a moment to catch his breath and take in the Hawaiian landscape as the orange and pink hues of daylight enveloped the entire island in an ethereal glow.

Things had changed so much over the years. Danny came to this island clinging on to the last vestiges of the family he once had. He spent weeks with only Grace, a six-pack, and the warmth of a random stranger in his bed (not necessarily at the same time) to keep him going. He was miserable at work because he didn’t fit in. He was miserable at home because his apartment sucked and Grace was almost never there. And he was miserable in any stereotypical Hawaiian setting, complaining about everything from how they made their pizza (something, he admits, he still gripes about) to the atrocities of the beach.

And then Steve McGarrett waltzed into his life in a hail of gunfire and little girl pigtails and Danny’s life hasn’t been quite the same.

Danny may have cursed Steve’s existence for those first few months of their partnership, questioning if he was held as a child, if he’d learn the intricacies of mammal-to-mammal interactions, but there was always something about Steve that had kept Danny coming back for more. Maybe it was the sparkle in his blue eyes when he locked eyes with Danny or the dopey smile he got on his face whenever he talked about Avery. Whatever it was, Danny lapped it up like a dog desperate for water.

And slowly, somehow, Danny still can’t pinpoint exactly how it happened, Steve managed to infiltrate every little corner of Danny’s pathetic little life and began to dust out the cobwebs, pull shadowed corners into the light. He brought Danny back out into the open air, showed him what love was without even having to confess his feelings.

Steve and Danny became a partnership, became a family, long before they kissed on the beach behind Steve’s house that night over ten years ago.

And Steve had spent all of those ten years showing Danny over and over again why his life here in Hawaii was better than any life he could have had in Jersey because his life in Hawaii included Steve and it included Avery and Chin and Kono and a whole bunch of other people Danny couldn’t imagine his life without anymore.

Steve had given Danny a family, given him comfort and security. In return Danny showed Steve laughter and the beauty of home-cooked food. Danny became the rock that Steve needed, the proof that someone out there loved him enough to never leave.

Steve solved Danny’s loneliness and Danny restored Steve’s faith. Together they made a family.

And Danny was watching the family they created crumble beneath his fingers. 

Taking a deep breath Danny made his way back down the mountain and arrived back at the house before Avery got up for morning swim practice. He ended up being able to get in a quick shower and start breakfast before he heard the tell-tale rustling upstairs that signaled Avery getting ready.

She walked downstairs with puffy eyes and red cheeks, but Danny bypassed commenting on them and went for light conversation instead, “Is Ian picking you up this morning?”

Avery nodded as she ate her toast and banana. “Yeah, and he’s going to take me to the shop after school to pick up my car so I can finally drive myself around again.”

Danny laughed, “Good. I’m looking forward to not having to drive you around myself. I got used to not having to drive to the pool at god awful o’clock in the morning.”

Avery laughed, the ease of their relationship beginning to peak its head out through the darkness that had surrounded them as of late.

A knock on the door followed by the scrape of the wood against the floor made both Danny and Avery turn towards their new guest.

“Good morning, Ian,” Danny greeted as he handed him the glass of pineapple juice he’d just poured. It was Ian’s favorite. And, no, Danny was not going to read more into his knowledge of Ian’s favorite juice than he had to.

“Morning, Danno. Morning, Aves.”

Danny laughed as Ian stole a piece of toast off Avery’s plate and sat down next to her. Ian’s hair was surfer long and bed-head crazy because he’d clearly not bothered to comb it down when he got up this morning. But Danny was pretty use to the particular level of crazy swimmers seemed to exude.

Early morning practices would do that to you.

Danny had just resigned himself to always feeling like the house smelled faintly like chlorine, that swim caps would turn up in the weirdest places, and that all friends involved in swimming wouldn’t know the difference between a hair brush and a toothbrush at four o’clock in the morning.

It was a cross he was happy to bear.

“Thanks for bringing Avery to the mechanic this afternoon to pick up her car,” Danny said to Ian as he buttered a second piece of toast for him. “But, you know, I miss having you over here in the mornings eating all my food.”

Ian smiled, his blue eyes lighting up. “Well, I can always stop by on my way to practice. I never turn down free food.”

Danny laughed. “You know that you are always welcome.”

Avery pushed her plate forward and got up off her chair, “I’m just going to grab my bag and meet you at the car, okay, Ian.”

Ian said goodbye to Danny and left out the way he came. Avery walked down the stairs a few minutes later with her bag slung over her shoulder.

“Hey, Aves, hold up a sec.”

Avery stopped in the doorway and turned to him.

“I just wanted to tell you good luck today, first practice back after you got the cast off. Just don’t push too hard, okay.”

“I won’t, Danno. Coach Mike has already told me multiple times via e-mail, text, and Ian that under no circumstances am I to do anything other than what is on the workout he has created specifically for me in conjunction with a physical therapist and my doctor. It’s basically like having a third father, thank you very much.”

“Well, sometimes you need some extra looking after. We just can’t help but care about you. Speaking of caring about you, should I be getting used to seeing Ian around more often?”

Avery gave him a questioning look.

“You guys just seem close, that’s all.”

Danny didn’t miss the tell-tale McGarrett blush that had crept up her neck when she responded. “No, Danno, we’re just friends.”

“Well, I like him. He’s a nice kid.”

Avery smiled, knowing exactly what Danny meant by that sentence. She waved at him from the passenger seat of Ian’s Toyota as it pulled out of the driveway and Danny walked back inside to finish getting ready for work.

Grace woke up a few hours later, shower, primped, and made her way downstairs just as Danny was scooping some scrambled eggs onto a plate.

“This is new,” Grace said as she dug in. “You’re almost never up in time to make such a great breakfast, usually it’s just cereal with milk.”

“I got up early this morning. I had to make sure Avery was going to be careful with her ankle because she is a McGarrett after all.”

“Can’t trust them,” Grace joked. Danny missed this. He missed the ease and familiarity of breakfast in the morning and jokes before school. Now, with everyone running in ten different directions he was lucky if he managed to say goodbye to both girls before they headed out the door.

Twenty minutes later Danny had the house to himself. Usually he would have just been able to drag himself out of bed to put the cereal out and would be using this time to get ready for work, but since he’d been up since dawn he had a few extra minutes to actually relax.

And relax he did, in the recliner chair, with his eyes closed.

The ring of his cell phone stirred him awake. Danny rubbed at his eyes as he saw ‘restricted number’ flash across his screen.

“Detective Williams.”

“Danny.”

Danny sat up, the recliner snapping back into its upright position, almost throwing him off in the process. He rubbed at his face again, shaking the fuzziness out of his head that always infiltrated his brain whenever he napped.

“Steve?”

“Hey, Danno, how’s it going?”

“Oh, well, you know, two teenage girls, a couple of custody battles, and running a task force. The usual. How are things down range?”

“Not down range anymore.”

“Say what now?”

Danny’s pretty sure he’s dreaming. He couldn’t possibly have just heard Steve make reference to actually being stateside, or almost stateside.

“I’m coming home, Danny.”

“No.”

“Yes. I’m just about to get on my flight out of Japan into Pearl. I’ll land tonight.”

Danny breathed out a breath he had no idea he’d been holding. “You’re coming home.”

“Yeah, Danno, I’m coming home. Will you come meet me at the base? Just you?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Should I tell the girls or do you want it to be a surprise?”

“Surprise. I think it’s time this family had a good surprise.”

Danny laughed, “Couldn’t agree with you more. God, Steve, you have no idea how fucked up I’ve been worrying about you over there.”

“I know, Danny. Hey, look, I gotta run, but I love you, okay. I should be landing at 2000 so meet me at the airstrip?”

“I’ll be the one in the tie.”

“Please don’t wear a tie.”

“Okay, I’ll be the one naked.”

“Are those seriously my choices? A tie or naked?”

“Yup.”

“Okay, well, I choose naked. I bet the wives are going to love the show.”

“I love you, Steven.”

“Love you too, Danno.”

Danny heard the familiar click of the line going dead, but for once he actually felt relief instead of intense, gripping fear.

Steve was coming home.

*H50*  
Needless to say, Danny got nothing done the entire day; he kept sneaking glances at the clock or his watch or his phone and was always disappointed when the time had only clicked two minutes by.

Finally Chin and Kono, fed up with their boss being unable to concentrate, again, sent him home with strict orders not to come back to the office for at least forty-eight hours.

That was the amount of time Kono believed they would need to get all the goo-goo eyes and sexy-times out of their system. Kono also promised to pick Avery and Grace up from school that afternoon for an impromptu girls’ night so that Steve and Danny would have the house to themselves.

Danny felt a little guilty for keeping Steve away from the girls for twelve hours longer than he needed to, but fuck, he hadn’t seen his husband in six months and he was going to enjoy some kid-free time.

He fucking deserved it.

Going home didn’t really help Danny all that much. He cleaned all the sheets, threw away all of the trash that had started to collect in the room, checked to make sure they still had a decent supply of lube because Danny had plans, put a pot roast in the crock pot because that was one of Steve’s favorite comfort foods, and he took a long, cleansing shower, just to make sure he was ready for tonight.

All of that took him two hours and he still had two more hours before he had to leave to meet Steve at the airstrip; he’s pretty sure there’s a permanent hole in the rug where he’d been pacing for the last thirty minutes. He tried to watch TV but he couldn’t sit still long enough to get into anything, he went through and organized his e-mail (which he hates to do), and he even tried to goof around on the internet, but it still seemed like time was moving like molasses.

Finally, finally, the clock hit seven-thirty and he was out of the house and into the Camaro faster than he could manage to say ‘Steve’s safe.’

He tried desperately hard to keep his speed within spitting distance of the actual speed limit; it worked at some points, not so much at others. But he made it to the airstrip just in time to see a few wives and children leave their cars and gather behind the tape separating the families from the area the sailors would disembark.

It wasn’t a very large crowd which meant the SEAL team wasn’t arriving with another convoy of sailors returning from duty.

Danny smiled and waved at a few of the wives he knew, but even he had to admit that the times were changing; he didn’t recognize half of the young women who stood around him waiting for their husbands to disembark from the plane.

Danny, for once, whispered a thank you to whoever was up there that the military was picky about timeliness because right on the dot the plane came into view and started its descent. Danny felt the prickly sensation of anticipation creep up his spine, settling deep in his belly as the plane grew larger and moved closer.

Danny didn’t see Steve at first. He could hear the squeals and screams of the women around him as one by one they locked eyes on their sailor. But Danny searched the group of men disembarking from the plane and he couldn’t find the familiar blue eyes or tell-tale gait amongst the sea of blue fatigues.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Danny found Steve. He was the last to disembark, allowing his men to meet with their families first and ensuring everything was set before he was dismissed. But Danny didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything other than getting to his giant goof of a husband and not letting go for at least five days.

And he meant it, five days minimum.

Danny, as dignified as ever, did not run over and jump into Steve’s arms. Well, he may have jumped a little but there was definitely no running.

“Danno,” Steve whispered into Danny’s hair as they embraced. “I’m sorry…”

“Stop, don’t ruin the moment with your worrying.”

So they stood there in silence, wrapped in each other’s arms on the airstrip, not even noticing the people around them. And finally, after what seemed like years, Steve bent his head down and captured Danny’s lips in a kiss. It was incredibly chaste, but it still caused Danny’s lips to feel like they were on fire. It was probably a terrible kiss, they were both a little rusty, but it didn’t matter. 

It was comfort, it was warm, it was home.

“I missed you, Steven.”

“Missed you too, Danno.”

They didn’t say anything else as Danny leaned down and picked Steve’s duffel up from the ground, grabbing Steve’s hand and leading him back towards the Camaro.

Danny tossed the keys at Steve who caught them with a look of pure joy on his face.

“Missed driving that much, babe?”

“Just missed driving with you bitching in the passenger seat, driving with silent passengers is not quite as much fun.” Steve folded himself into the Camaro’s bucket seats, pushing the seat back so that his long legs could fit comfortably under the steering wheel. He ran his hands up and down the leather of the wheel, caressing it like he would a lover.

“Okay, babe, let’s save some of that for me, okay. I don’t plan on playing second fiddle to the car.”

“You will never be second fiddle to anyone, Danny.” Steve looked over at Danny with big doe eyes and a goofy smile. It was the look he always got when he told Danny he loved him. It was his look of ‘why do you doubt your place in my life.’

Steve pulled the car out onto familiar roads, and even after being away for so long, he still knew the way home by heart. Danny watched Steve throughout the drive. They remained mostly quiet, Steve taking in all the sights and sounds of home and Danny just taking in the sight of Steve sitting next to him, safe.

Steve gave Danny just enough time to punch in the alarm code before he pounced on him, dropping his duffel in the foyer and pushing Danny up against the wall, hands already tugging at the tie against Danny’s throat.

“Missed…you…Danno,” Steve moaned out as he sucked at the spot right behind Danny’s ear that always made him weak in the knees.

Danny knows he tried to say I missed you too, but he’s pretty sure all that came out was an undignified groan and his hips jacking upward towards Steve’s to get any sort of friction that might relieve him of the pressure he was feeling in his pants.

“Upstairs, bedroom, too old for fucking against a wall,” Danny managed to say as he dropped Steve’s jacket off of him and guided him up the stairs.

They fell into bed in a mess of clothes and limbs and sloppy kisses. It was rough and dirty and desperate. Later they would take the time to slowly remember each other’s bodies, worship the man they loved, but right now they couldn’t hold on. It was six long months of pent up sexual frustration bleeding out in a few minutes of intense passion.

When they were finished Steve kissed his way back up Danny’s spine, stopping just in time to capture Danny’s lips in a kiss.

“So good to be home,” Steve said as he laid down next to Danny, both curled up on their sides looking at each other.

“It’s good to have you home. I honestly don’t know how much longer we would have lasted without you around. Apparently you aren’t just a giant pain in my ass.”

Steve pinched him in defiance but they both couldn’t even pretend to be angry; their smiles were permanently tattooed across their faces. “Danny, I really am so sorry that you’ve had to deal with so much this time. I just, god, I can’t even begin to understand what you went through.”

“Steven, don’t apologize, okay? I did some shitty things too, not telling you about Gwen. We both weren’t there for each other the way we needed to be, the way we normally are during deployments. But we’re here now and we will fix our family, together.”

“Is Gwen still trying to sue us?”

Danny nodded, “Yeah, but I have no idea what’s happening with that now. Avery came home yesterday in tears. It took me hours before I finally got the story out of her. Apparently Gwen is only here because her current, much younger, boyfriend is insisting that if she wants to remain his girlfriend she must start a relationship with her daughter. Avery overheard them arguing when she went over for her visit and Gwen said she never wanted to be a mom, was annoyed with all of Avery’s whining, and had no interest building a relationship with someone who was exactly like her ex. Avery was devastated and she’s still barely talking to me. And Grace is here permanently now because Rachel hit her. Fuck, Steve, she hit our little girl and I don’t fucking know what to do with that. So, now I’ve been in contact with the lawyers about getting Grace’s custody agreement changed. And, fuck, it’s all falling apart Steve and we just really needed you. I needed you.”

Steve’s face broke as tears welled in Danny’s eyes, the emotions, the tension, everything from the past six months that he’s been trying to hide, trying to push through, it all comes flooding out in an emotional mess of word vomit. And Danny immediately feels guilty. He’s not the one that just came back from war. But Steve shushes him when he tries to apologize, tells him that he’s here now, they are going to fix this. They are going to get their family back to where it’s supposed to be.

And Danny believes him, and for the first time in a long time he falls into a peaceful sleep


	21. Everything Has to Fall Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know *hides face in shame,* it's been way too long that I've updated this story. But, good news, I am hoping to have the rest of the story written before Christmas. It may not be posted by then but if it's done then that means posting isn't too far behind! Only one more chapter left and then maybe an epilogue if I decide it needs one! I hope this is well worth the wait, even though there is no excuse for how long this wait was!
> 
> Thanks to my lovely beta jerseybelle for betaing this lightning quick!

*Steve's POV*

Steve woke with a start, feeling disoriented and unsure of his surroundings for a second. Then he heard a grumble beside him and felt the familiar tickle of Danny’s bed-ruffled hair against his neck. He was home, in his bed, with his husband, back with his family.

He extricated himself as best he could from Danny’s tight grip. Steve’s body clock was still off so he knew he wasn’t going to be sleeping anymore even though dawn was barely peeking over the horizon. But he could tell from just one look at Danny that the detective had not been sleeping well. So, he moved as carefully as he could so as not to wake him and made his way downstairs.

He started up the coffee machine and walked over to the lanai doors and opened them wide as he waited for the machine to perk to life. He took a deep breath, inhaling all of the smells of home and Hawaii. After pouring himself a cup of coffee, he walked into the den, looking at the things that had changed over the six months he’d been gone.

Instead of just three sets of jackets and shoes and outerwear, there were four. Mixed in with his and Danny’s things were not only Avery’s swim team jacket, but also Grace’s pea coat. He saw Grace’s InStyle magazines stacked up next to Swimming World and Guns & Ammo, and Grace’s favorite movies were now resting in the DVD case next to all of the family favorites.

It wasn’t that it was weird that Grace’s things were there, she obviously stayed with them a lot over the years and had her own room, but it was weird to see so many of her things around the house. Steve sighed; he just couldn’t begin to wrap his head around what Danny must have been dealing with while he was gone…long-lost mothers coming back, long-time mothers hitting their daughters, broken ankles, and a task force that needed a leader. Fuck, Steve couldn’t handle how horrible and selfish he felt having left his family to fend for themselves, again. He knew they understood, they always understood. But this time, this time was it.

He wasn’t going to see Danny so lost and broken again, so damn tired he could barely see the sparkle in Danny’s eye. No, this was it. He’s done. No more missions, no more training, no more being away from his family for indeterminate amounts of time. He’s served his country, done his duty, and now it was time to do his duty as a father.

And that meant a whole lot of things Steve wasn’t really ready to face. No matter how long it’d been, or how many good things had transpired since then, Gwen was always going to be a sore spot, a time he didn’t want to go back to. He wanted nothing more than to continue on pretending she didn’t exist. But now, now he couldn’t hide from it anymore. Now Avery knew who she was and he had to be there for her, console her as she learned the true nature of her mother’s being. Now he had to dredge up old feelings and past hurts to remind his daughter of the good qualities she inherited from Gwen, remind her that she would never turn into someone like her mother, and remind her that she already had a loving family with two parents and a sister who love her more than anything.

And, apparently, he was also going to have to deal with the whole boys and dating thing. 

Well, life in the McGarrett-Williams household was certainly never boring.

He hadn’t realized how long he’d been sitting there until he was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of a car door slamming in the driveway. He peeked out the front window to see Kono dropping off the girls from their sleepover.

Steve couldn’t believe he’d forgotten that Avery would have swim practice and so they’d be home really early.

Steve can hear Danny saying ‘That’s a sign you’ve been gone too long.”

Steve didn’t really know how he wanted to say hello to his girls again, but giving them a hug at four-thirty in the morning wasn’t really on his top ten list. But, alas, he was Steve McGarrett and this was his life. So he stood up, smoothed out his old NAVY t-shirt and waited for the girls to open the front door.

“Grace, just go upstairs and go back to sleep,” Avery said as she pushed open the door to the house, dropping her overnight bag by the couch. “You won’t even really notice you were awake.”

Grace didn’t respond because she was too busy staring gaped-mouth at Steve. He watched as she tried to determine if this was a trick of her over-tired mind or if Steve really was standing in the living room after six long months of being gone.

“Grace,” Avery questioned, turning around to see if her sister had heard her. Steve watched as she slowly turned back around to follow Grace’s line of sight. 

Steve saw himself reflected back in every facial expression that fell across for face before settling on disbelief.

“Hey, girls,” Steve greeted.

“This isn’t real,” Grace said as she rubbed her eyes. “I’ve slept a total of two hours and am not equipped with the weird gene that makes mornings a pleasant experience. I just need to go lay down and this will go away because this can’t be real.”

“I’m really here, Grace Face,” Steve said, stepping a few paces closer to them, holding out his arms. “Now, please come here and give me a hug. I’ve missed you girls more than words could say.”

They didn’t need to be told twice as they dropped everything they were carrying and flung themselves into his waiting arms. Steve pulled them in close as tears started to well up in his eyes and he could hear both girls sobbing incoherent nonsense into his neck.

Now, now it felt like home.

*H50*  
After a good long hug, the girls pulled away, both wiping at the tear tracks winding their way down their cheeks.

“C’mon now, no tears. Today is supposed to be a happy day.”

“Dad, you know these are happy tears. Why didn’t you tell us you were coming home?”

“Well, I wanted it to be a surprise, but I didn’t actually know I was coming home until twelve hours before my transport out, so I actually didn’t have much time to inform you guys anyway.”

Grace just smiled and hugged him again, her eyes still glazed over with sleep. Avery, who of course was used to being up at this time, gave him a calculating look.

“Is this why we had impromptu girls’ night at Auntie Kono’s?”

“Kono agreed to let you guys stay over so I could surprise you.”

“This morning, so you could surprise us this morning, but you could have surprised us last night.”

Steve blubbered out a response that didn’t sound all too intelligent and didn’t have Avery fooled for a second.

“Ew, never again do I want to be able to infer that much about your and Danno’s private life. Ugh. The conversation with Ian about stuff you might hide in your bedroom was enough trauma for one entire lifetime.”

Steve blushed, but quickly regrouped himself, clearing his throat, “What conversation with Ian?”

“Dad, seriously, quit while you’re ahead and just go make breakfast.”

“Well, when you ask so nicely I may just have to prolong this conversation.”

“Okay, please can you make breakfast? Ian’s going to be here in about fifteen minutes and he always has breakfast here.”

“Aye, aye, captain.” Steve mock-saluted Avery as she passed him on the way to the kitchen. He kissed Grace on the head and shooed her upstairs and into her bed with a promise that he will make breakfast for her when she wakes up.

“So, Ian, huh,” Steve questioned as he started cracking eggs into a pan.

“What is with all the weird questions? Ian’s just my friend.” Steve didn’t miss the blush that had settled across her cheeks and tinged the tips of her ears red.

“Sweet pea, I would say he is much more than a friend, or at least he wants to be.”

“Stop it, Dad. He’s been my friend for years. He doesn’t see me that way.”

Steve couldn’t help but chuckle a little to himself. He scooped the eggs onto her plate and set it in front of her with some pieces of pineapple. It was so blessedly normal that Steve couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. It was just good to be home.

“Aves, let me tell you a little secret, okay. Boys don’t do nice things for girls just to do nice things for girls. There are only two reasons: they consider the girl a friend or they really want to date the girl. And if you like her as a friend that probably means you text her to ask her how her ankle is doing or maybe you come by and watch a movie with her. But you most definitely do not come over to help her with a chore, you definitely don’t get up extra early to stop by her house every morning to eat breakfast with her and take her to swim practice, and you most certainly don’t continue that pattern after she’s completely healed.”

“You forgot console her and make sure she gets home safe after drinking too much.”

“Well, I’m just going to pretend that one doesn’t exist because then I would have to ruin this wonderful father-daughter bonding moment with a reprimand, and I know Danno enough to know that he gave you a reprimand good enough for the both of us.”

Avery laughed just as the front door to the McGarrett house opened and Ian made his way inside.

“Hey, Aves. What’s on the menu this morning, Rice Chex or Reese’s Puffs?”

“Eggs,” Avery responded as she took Ian’s plate from Steve and placed it on the chair next to him.

“Eggs, wow. You must have gotten up early, Danny.”

Ian stepped around the corner into the kitchen and stopped cold as he saw Steve at the kitchen sink.

“Oh, sir, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had gotten home.”

Steve laughed to himself; he was going to have so much fun teasing Danny about the fact that Ian found him much more intimidating. 

“It’s okay, Ian, and you can call me Steve.”

Ian averted his eyes in embarrassment and sat down next to Avery. Steve watched as Avery and Ian ate their breakfast, every now and then peeking over at the other person but quickly looking away if the other person noticed. It would probably be precious if the girl involved wasn’t his daughter and he wasn’t intimately aware of what teenage boys spent their days thinking about.

Steve had to get off this train of thought because he was heading down a dangerous path that would probably end in a Danno rant of epic proportions about mammal-to-mammal interactions.

Bringing himself back into the present moment where Ian’s hands were definitely on his own plate and nowhere near Avery’s entire being, he asked, “So, how’s swim season going so far, Ian?”

“Good. My fly has improved a lot so my IM time has gone down some, and I’m definitely glad to have Aves back to share all the insane breaststroke sets my dad comes up with.”

“He’s being modest; his IM time has gone down by almost five seconds, that’s like, unheard of. It’s pretty much insane and now colleges have been scouting him and stuff. So cool!”

“What schools?” Steve questioned. They never did end up telling Avery about the scouts that came to talk to them about her. He and Danno decided it was better to let that be for now since she was just going into her junior year and was dealing with his deployment. 

“UCLA, University of Texas, and University of Florida.”

“I personally really hope he goes to UF because then maybe he’ll meet Ryan Lochte and he could introduce me because he’s kinda awesome.”

Steve watched jealousy flash across Ian’s face.

“Isn’t he like 28 years old or something,” Steve questioned trying to take some heat off Ian. Apparently he liked the guy more than he thought since he was trying to help him out. Steve was also impressed with the fact that he even knew how old Ryan Lochte was. He thinks that should give me a lot of cool dad points, in his humble opinion.

“Whatever, he’s still awesome. I just think he’s a cool swimmer, and I’m super jealous of his IM walls. I still struggle with all those exchanges. It’s what’s keeping my times from improving in that event.”

“Tell Dad you want to focus on that and he’ll do it. He’s got some good drills he gave me to work on those turns,” Ian said in a desperate attempt to move the conversation away from Ryan Lochte.

“Yeah, I think I might do that. I mean I know that I have this huge leg up because I’m good at the breaststroke and so many IMers aren’t, and so I’m really able to pull ahead or catch up on that leg, but I’m usually struggling to get up there because my turns slow me down.”

“Well, let’s be a little more realistic here,” Ian laughed. “You generally aren’t ‘catching up’. Most of the time your turns are causing others to get a half a second closer; you still outswim most of the people we swim against and you know that.”

Avery rolled her eyes, “Whatever, ‘Mr. Colleges Are Recruiting Me’.” 

“I’m sure they’re recruiting you too. Your times are even better than mine.”

“No, I’m pretty sure I would know if they are.”

“They talk to your parents first since we aren’t seniors yet. There are like rules and stuff.”

Avery’s head whipped back around to stare at Steve across the kitchen island. Steve wasn’t really Ian’s biggest fan anymore.

“Dad, have colleges talked to you?”

“Um, I think you’re going to be late for practice and this is something I don’t want to discuss without Danno.”

“You lied to me. You hid this from me, for how long? Were you ever going to tell me? College scholarships are huge, Dad. I could go to some of these big-time universities that I wouldn’t be able to otherwise. I can’t believe you hid this from me; after everything, you and Danno didn’t think that maybe this would be something I should hear?”

“Avery, look, we were going to say something but then we found out about my deployment and we just didn’t want to put too much pressure on you. You love swimming and we didn’t want to take that away from you.”

“It’s always been my dream to swim in college, you know that, and you were ready to hide from me the fact that my dream was actually on the way to becoming a reality? I can’t believe you.”

“Aves,” Steve reached out to grab her hand but she pulled it away and left the kitchen. Ian gave another apologetic look at Steve before following her out.

“Shit,” Steve’s head dropped to the countertop. Well, that certainly wasn’t how he envisioned his first morning home going.

He could hear Danny stirring upstairs, so he finished cleaning up the kitchen and made a plate of eggs and toast to bring upstairs. He knew that hiding the scouts from Avery wasn’t a good idea; they were a family that prided themselves on always being open with each other. But everything had been so fucked up these last few months. Something had felt off from the beginning; he had known, in his gut, that he shouldn’t have left on that deployment, and that this one was different. And that fear had held him and Danny back from handling this deployment like all the others.

Their strength came from their faith in each other, in their family, and the knowledge that neither would ever stop fighting to come home be it from the battlefield or the back alleys of Honolulu. They would never stop fighting until they were together again.

But this time, and Steve didn’t know why, but this time something got messed up. He had that gut feeling that he shouldn’t leave, that his family needed him, but he left anyway. And now that he’s back, his family has fallen apart. 

He understood that Avery would be angry that they had kept something so important from her, no matter the reason. She’s a teenager and a reaction like that would be expected. But he could tell that there was something more to her anger, betrayal. He had left her when she needed him most, and the one person she was always curious about came back and then lied to her. Steve couldn’t imagine the hurt and pain she was going through, and it killed him to know that he was putting his little girl through that.

No wonder Danny looked so exhausted.

Steve pushed open the door to his bedroom and saw Danny sitting up trying to figure out where Steve had gone.

“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep so I went downstairs,” Steve apologized. He could see the worry in Danny’s face, the fear that everything that happened last night was a dream. “The girls are already back and Avery left for swim practice a few minutes ago.”

“Yeah, I heard. What happened?” Danny sat up against the headboard as Steve handed him the breakfast plate and picked up his own.

“She found out about the college scouts, the ones we didn’t tell her about.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly.”

“Well, one thing’s for sure,” Danny started, forcing Steve to look at him, “I’m sure glad I’ve got you here to help me deal with it.”

Steve smiled and pulled Danny close, “Always, Danno, always.”

“We missed you. I don’t know what it was about this time, but we really needed you.”

Steve sighed, “I know. I was thinking the same thing this morning, and I came to a decision.”

“What decision?”

“I’m leaving the Navy.”

Danny pulled away and put his plate down on the bedside table. “What are you talking about, Steven? We have never asked you to give up your job in the Navy, not once. We know how much being in the Navy means to you.”

“Yeah, it means a whole hell of a lot, but it doesn’t mean more to me than my family. I’ve done more than my twenty, I’ve served my country, and I’ve done my duty. I’m ready to hang it up. And, Danny, this isn’t some rash decision. I made this decision months ago. I could see what my deployment was doing to our family. It’s time. In the past we dealt with deployments well. They sucked, they were hard, and we missed each other, but we always handled them okay, but not this time. This time was different, we lied, we hid stuff from each other, and we did all the things we know make deployments harder. I don’t know about you, but to me that’s a sign that something’s gotta change.”

“But it doesn’t have to be this,” Danny argued, “It doesn’t have to be you giving up something that’s so central to your identity.”

“I will always be a SEAL, nothing can take that away from me. But I can lose my identities of father and husband if I’m not here for my family. I want this, Danno, I promise. I don’t want to have to worry about leaving again. The girls are sixteen; they’re juniors in high school. We’ve got two more years before they leave to go off to college and then who knows where they will be, most likely on the mainland. And I don’t want to miss out on another moment of these last two years. I don’t want to miss another swim meet, another tennis match; I want to be here when they send in their college applications or get asked to prom. I want to be here for those memories because those are the memories I can’t ever replace. A battlefield is a battlefield, and those memories all seem the same. But I will never be able to get back the memory of seeing Avery and Grace walking across the stage when they graduate from high school; I can’t miss that, I can’t miss any of it.”

“And you’re positive this is what you want?”

“Absolutely.”

Steve watched Danny’s face break into the first real grin he’d seen since he’d walked off the plane the night before.

“I’m so glad to hear you say that, super SEAL.”

“I said we were in this forever and always, Danno.”

“Forever and always.”

*H50*  
“Bossman, it’s good to have you back,” Kono greeted as Steve walked into Five-0 headquarters for the first time. Steve grinned and pulled her in for a hug.

“Howzit, brah,” Chin greeted, slapping Steve on the back.

“It’s good, guys, its good. Glad to be back.”

“Well, we’re glad to have you back,” Kono started, “We forget sometimes how calm you keep our favorite haole.”

Steve laughed, “What can I say.”

“You can say nothing, okay,” Danny interrupted as he came out of his office. “I do not appreciate the insubordination or the insinuation that I am a hothead.”

“No one would ever call you a hothead, Danno,” Steve responded.

“No, that would be a totally incorrect description of your personality,” Kono agreed.

Chin, wise man that he is, chose to remain silent.

“Whatever, I get no love whatsoever from you people. I take on running the task force for six months and all I get is crap the minute this Neanderthal comes back. I would just like to point out that during my tenure as unit chief we spent a quarter less on ammo and weaponry and nobody got shot. Now that Captain Crazypants is back I’m sure our budget will double and I’m betting we’ve got twenty-four hours before I’m shot.”

“I’d say more like twelve, if you’re lucky,” Kono grinned mischievously. “Care to make this interesting?”

“No,” Steve interrupted, “We will not be making anything interesting. Danny, I’m not going to get you shot, and for the record, it’s Commander Crazypants.”

Steve didn’t give Danny enough time to come up with an intelligent response because he was already heading out the door.

“Where are you going,” Danny called after him.

“I don’t officially start work until Monday so I’m going to pick up Aves from swim practice and see if I can fix the damage I inflicted this morning, and maybe broach that whole Gwen subject.”

“Alright, see you at home then.”

“Yup, see ya guys.”

Steve made it to the aquatic center about twenty minutes before the end of practice. He parked the truck and walked inside, taking a seat on the bleachers. He hadn’t seen Avery swim in six months, and he was curious to see how she was recovering from her broken ankle.

Mike noticed him sitting by himself and waved before walking towards him.

“Ian said you’d come back, glad you’re safe.”

“Thanks, Mike,” Steve said as he shook the coach’s hand. “So, how’s her swimming post-broken ankle?”

“Good, actually. After about a week or so following the injury she started coming into practice and continued to do things she could still do with her foot, lift weights, stay flexible in her upper body, that sort of thing. We started her off slow when she returned; even though that was the last thing she wanted.”

Steve laughed because that was all McGarrett.

“But she’s been quickly regaining her split times pre-injury. She’s still struggling on the walls though.”

“Yeah, she’s always struggled with the turns.” 

“That’s true, but when she’s doing longer distances, usually 200 or more, she starts to favor her good ankle over the bad one. She’ll push off hard with one foot but barely graze the wall with the other. She’s still getting an okay push-off, but in a close race that may hurt her, especially when it comes to states and meets of that caliber.”

“Is it a physical thing or a mental thing?”

“Mental, I think. And we still haven’t tried it in a real race, you know, with the adrenaline pumping. I’ve talked with her doctor and physical therapist and both said that her ankle is perfectly healthy, and that pushing off the wall will not hurt it in the least, and Aves knows this. I think once she has a race where she doesn’t even think about it, just races to win, and then sees that it didn’t bother her once she’ll be back to her normal self.”

“Good. And make sure to remind Ian how much we appreciate him driving Avery to and from practice and keeping her motivated to come when she was injured. From what Danny tells me, that was incredibly helpful in her recovery.”

“I will let him know. Have a great afternoon, Steve. And glad to have you back.”

Steve waved goodbye and waited for a few more minutes before practice came to an end. He called over to Avery when she got out of the water, “Hey, Aves, I’m going to give you a ride, meet you out front?”

Her face was still angry, but it had definitely dissipated some so Steve put it in the win column when she nodded at him.

Steve walked outside and sat down on a bench in front of the building to wait for Avery to finish changing. That was when he saw her walking across the parking lot.

Gwen.

And fuck, Steve was so angry in a split second, knowing that Gwen was about to ambush Avery after everything she’d done to her.

Steve saw red and flew out of his seat and intercepted her by the edge of the sidewalk. “Walk one fucking step further and you’ll be sorry you ever step foot on this island.”

“Well hello to you too, Steve. Glad to see you haven’t changed much. Now, I’m sure your husband has told you that I’m back and I’m going to be a mom,” she sneered at him.

Steve couldn’t compose himself, couldn’t contain his anger. “No, what he told me was that you came here because your boyfriend said he’d break up with you if you weren’t in your daughter’s life. He also told me that you don’t actually want to be in her life. So I’m pretty sure I’ve got all the necessary details I need to be able to say stay the fuck away from my daughter.”

“Our daughter,” Gwen yelled back. “She’s our daughter.”

“No, she’s not. She’s mine and Danny’s daughter. She stopped being your daughter the minute you left her on that tarmac sixteen years ago. You think I will ever forget that fucking moment, huh? You not only walked away from me, but you walked away from her. You broke me that day, Gwen. Yeah, I’ve turned it around and I found someone who loves me more than anything, but you broke a part inside of me that will never fully trust again. And I vowed that day to make sure my daughter never had that same feeling. And you know what, I failed her. I wasn’t here to protect her from you and that’s on me, but you’re still the one that caused all this hurt, became a disease to my family, and now that I’m back I’m not ever going to let you near them again.”

“A disease! Screw you, Steve. The only reason I left was because you forced me to. You left without notice, didn’t call, what the hell was I supposed to do? You didn’t even know your daughter was born.”

“You knew what my job was going to be like before we even started dating, Gwen. Don’t try to put that on me. You realized you couldn’t handle it and you ran away scared.”

“You pushed me.”

“I didn’t push you, you ran.”

“Fine, whatever, I don’t care what you think because I’m still suing you. I am going to get back my parental rights, and I haven’t seen my daughter in a few days and she hasn’t been returning my phone calls so if you’ll please step aside so I can see her.”

“No, Gwen. I’m not going to let you see her. You hurt her like you wouldn’t believe and she doesn’t want to see you. Did you not get the hint when she wasn’t answering her phone? She learned who you truly are and you hurt her. And you know what, that’s my fault that I didn’t tell her anything about you, that I basically pretended you didn’t exist, because that opened her up to wanting to get to know you and that opened her up to being hurt. And fuck, I will never stop blaming myself for putting her through the same exact situation you put me through.”

“I don’t know what she thinks, Steve, but I love her.”

“You don’t love me,” Avery yelled from behind Steve. He turned and saw her walking out of the building, tears already streaming down her cheeks. “I heard you the other day fighting with your boyfriend. You told him that you didn’t want to be a mother, that he was selfish for making you be one.”

“Avery, I didn’t mean that. I was just angry.” Gwen tried to move forward, but Avery flinched backwards and Steve stepped in the way, preventing her from moving any farther.

“Okay, so now that’s cleared up, Avery and I are going to be leaving now.”

“No, you can’t take her away from me. A girl needs her mother.”

“No, what a girl needs is a parent who actually cares about her; gender is irrelevant. And she already has that, so we have no need for you.”

“C’mon, Avery, let’s go.” Steve signaled for Avery to move forward and he quickly wrapped an arm around her before steering her away from Gwen.

“Avery,” Gwen called after them, her voice a mess with sobs, “Please.”

“I’m sorry, Gwen. I already have two parents who love me. I’m really not in the market for one that doesn’t give a shit about me.”


	22. So It Can Fall Back Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of Family Ties is here! I cannot believe this is the end. I've been writing this story for almost a year and a half, and I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with myself now. This little family has become my pride and joy and I've enjoyed writing them immensely! I hope you've enjoyed reading about their lives as well!
> 
> For now, I am considering this story complete. I may come back and add an epilogue in the future or I may even decide to write another story, but for now I'm ready to move away from this verse for a little while. I will be posting companion pieces from time to time, but I'm going to be trying my hand at some other stories. If you are interested in seeing other things I write or to see if anything new is posted in this verse, be sure to add me to author alert!
> 
> I want to thank every single one of my readers, especially those who have left me amazingly supportive comments on every chapter! And those that have stuck by this story from the beginning. You have made this journey unforgettable.
> 
> Finally, thanks to my amazing beta jerseybelle for all of her help in this chapter and every other one! She's the greatest and this story wouldn't be here without her :)
> 
> Merry Christmas everyone!

*Steve's POV*

The car ride home was eerily silent. Avery sat in the passenger seat with tears making their way down her cheeks, but when Steve reached over to console her she pulled away; he hadn’t tried again.

He should have kept his temper in check, he knew this, but Gwen just pushed all the right buttons and forced him into situations he wasn’t ready to handle.

Danny and Grace were already home by the time they pulled into the driveway. Avery didn’t waste a moment opening her door and running up the sidewalk. By the time Steve made it into the house, Danny was already out of the kitchen and in the front hallway looking concerned.

“What happened,” he asked as Steve closed and locked the door behind him.

“Gwen was there, we had words.”

“You had words, Steven, words. You didn’t think that maybe yelling at our daughter’s mother in the middle of the fucking pool parking lot probably wasn’t a good idea.”

“I wasn’t thinking, Danny, god. Just ease up a little okay. I understand that I fucked up, but I just, I couldn’t. I’ve spent the past six weeks blaming myself for the fact that Avery’s had to go through all of this. It’s my fault that she’s been hurt and broken and thrown around by a woman who doesn’t give a shit. She showed up and I snapped; I couldn’t reel it in even if I wanted to. Just, fuck, just step back a little okay, you have no idea how this feels.”

“I don’t know how this feels,” Danny yelled, throwing his hands up in disbelief before running them through his hair. “You think I don’t know what this feels like? I’ve been here every damn day, seeing her go up and down for months. I’ve been here when she comes home after a good meeting and thinks that maybe, just maybe, she’s actually going to have a mom. And I was here after the bad days when she came home not sure if her mom was going to be there the next time she called. Okay, don’t you dare say I don’t know what it feels like. I’ve considered that girl my daughter since she was five and it kills me just as much as you to see her suffer.”

Steve officially felt like shit.

“Danno, I’m sorry,” Steve stepped closer, hanging his head in embarrassment. Gwen had fucked with his mind more than he thought. “I shouldn’t be yelling at you. I, fuck, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I mean, it sucks you don’t realize when you aren’t alone in dealing with this, but I’m glad you saw that you were being a stubborn ass.”

Steve smirked, “I like that.”

“Like what?”

“The whole give me a compliment while still criticizing me. Sometimes I forget how far along your communication skills have come.”

Danny laughed and pushed Steve gently, making him stumble, “Well my communication skills are definitely better than some people. C’mon, I’m making dinner, why don’t you help.”

Steve glanced up towards the stairs and the bedroom door he knew was closed.

Danny pulled at his arm, steering him in the direction of the kitchen, “Let her be, we’ll talk to her together.”

They chopped and seasoned and cooked in silence, but it was a good silence, a comfortable silence. Steve finally felt like it was starting to feel like home again, that he was beginning to fit back into their routine. That was always the hardest part when he came back from deployment. His family had to learn how to live without him, so routines were changed and responsibilities were delegated to different people; it was always weird the first few days back when he had to find where he fit again, where his place was.

For some men it might have been difficult to see their family doing so well without him, but it always filled Steve with joy, knowing his family was strong enough to continue in his absence. It was the only thing that allowed him to keep his mind on the mission, knowing that his home, his family, would be okay if he never came home.

Danny broke the silence ten minutes before dinner was ready, “So, on a scale of one to ten, how awful is the Gwen situation now?”

“A zero.”

“Did you forget how to count while you were away? Zero doesn’t fall between one and ten.”

“The situation doesn’t exist anymore. After Avery yelled at her and told her she wasn’t interested Gwen said fine and that she was done trying. I’m sure we’ll be hearing from the lawyer in the next few days.”

“Oh, wow, that seems like a quick resolve? I was really expecting to have to go into a full-out court battle.”

“Well, when you think about it, Gwen’s been looking for an out since she got here. She never actually wanted to be a mother, but her boyfriend insisted. This way, with Avery saying no or maybe me standing in the way, who knows what she will actually tell the guy, she can move on without having to be the one who said no. I don’t think she wanted a court case anymore than we did. I just wish she’d been smart enough to stay away from the beginning. I feel like we’re going to be fixing the mess she made for a long time.”

Danny nodded, “Yup, one big happy, screwed-up family.”

“I think we have a pretty good family, Danno. I mean look around us. We have a beautiful home on the beach, two girls who, all things considered, are really excelling in life, jobs we love, friends who care about us, and we have a loving, fulfilling marriage. I think there a lot of people who would kill for our life. I mean, sure, we’ve had our bumps, but I think we’ve come out the other side looking pretty good.”

Danny leaned into Steve’s embrace as he came up behind him, snaking his arms around Danny’s waist. “Yeah, Steve, we have an amazing family. Do you think Avery’s ever going to be the same?”

“No, I don’t,” Steve answered, pulling away enough for Danny to turn around in his arms so they were facing each other. “I think this experience will change her a little, hardened her somewhat to what the world may do to her, but I think she will always be our Avery. She’s always going to be our fish out of water, secretly obsessed with cooking unhealthy food and being terrible at hiding it, and have the biggest heart for the people who mean the most to her. Experiences like this will shape you, but they aren’t going to change who she is at her core; she’s always going to be our girl.”

“Until she’s Ian’s girl,” Danny responded.

Steve laughed, “Yeah, I’d give that maybe a week or two, though I am going to miss seeing them miserably trying to keep their feelings for each other hidden.”

“They’re growing up, huh?”

“Yup, think we can make it stop?”

Danny kissed him softly, “Nope, but we can certainly make it a little harder for them.”

“Oh, we’re just getting started with the whole torturing boys thing. I’ve got ideas, don’t worry.”

“You have ideas, Steve, of course I’m going to worry.” 

Steve didn’t respond, just smacked Danny’s ass as he walked by to get dinner out of the oven.

“Behave, your daughters are upstairs.”

“But upstairs is so far away.”

Dinner ended up being a little overcooked that night, but Steve and Danny hardly noticed because they couldn’t stop smiling.

*H50*  
A few days later Steve and Danny were coming home from work when they noticed the lights on in the house. Neither girl was supposed to be home yet, so they pulled out their sidearms and approached the house slowly.

Unlocking the front door very quietly, Steve pushed in first, gun raised in preparation, Danny followed closely behind. Both men’s eyes locked onto the scene in front of them, and Steve was about to open his mouth, but Danny beat him too it.

“What the hell are you doing,” Danny yelled, scaring Ian and Avery who were on the couch making out. They flew apart, both wearing matching deer-in-the-headlights expressions.

“Um.”

“Get out,” Danny yelled, motioning towards Ian with his gun. “Get out and don’t come back until you hear differently from me or Steve.”

“Danno!” Avery yelled, jumping up as Ian rushed out of the house.

“Maybe we should lower the weapon, Danno,” Steve tried to calm him down with a little humor.

“Avery Lynne McGarrett, what do you think you are doing,” Danny started, “Under no circumstances are you allowed to have a male visitor over like this. You can’t see Ian until we say so, no arguments.”

“You can’t tell me what to do, you aren’t my real father,” Avery yelled at Danny as she bounded up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door.

Steve glanced at Danny’s hurt eyes for no more than a moment before following his stubborn daughter to the second floor. Without bothering to knock, he opened the door to Avery’s bedroom to find her sitting on the bed, her hands balled into fists.

“Avery Lynne McGarrett if you think even for one second that you are going to get away with saying things like that you are going to be sorry,” Steve yelled. He closed the distance between them quickly, his looming form standing over her.

“He’s not my real father so he cannot tell me what to do and who I’m allowed to see.”

Steve’s face darkened even more, “That man has been in your life for ten years. He took care of you when you had the chicken pox, he held you at night when you had nightmares about me while I was deployed, and he brought you to school on your first day of high school and parked down the street from the building so no one would see him. He has sacrificed everything for you, just like I have. He loves you and cares about you. He adopted you, which makes him your real father.”

“I don’t care,” Avery yelled back as she stood up to square off with her father, “If he won’t let me see Ian than he’s not any father I want to know.”

“If being present at your conception is your criteria for being a real father, then I’m saying you can’t see Ian. You want to argue that point with me, good luck trying to convince me I wasn’t there that night.”

“Dad, that’s so unfair.”

“No, what’s unfair is the way you treated Danno. He has just as much right to tell you not to see someone as I do. And if you are going to behave like an immature little girl, that’s how I’m going to treat you. Little girls don’t get to date, so you are not allowed to see Ian except at practice, where I will be watching.”

“Dad, no!”

“This discussion is over, Avery,” Steve said as he began to walk out of the room, “You are grounded until further notice – practice, school, home – those are your three new favorite places. Now get your suit on, we’re going for a swim.”

Steve closed the door behind him, trying to take deep breaths to calm down his fledging anger. He walked back downstairs to find Danny sitting on the couch, hands running through his hair.

“Danny,” Steve started, but Danny cut him off before he could continue.

“Don’t start, Steven. I have no idea why I did that. I like Ian, I mean, god, you and I have been joking about those two for weeks; we knew it was coming. I just, I don’t know, I saw her here, in our house, alone, making out with a boy and I panicked. This is Ian; we’ve known him since he was twelve and hadn’t yet grown into his long arms. We know his parents and we know he’ll treat Avery like gold, so why did I freak out? My relationship with her is already tenuous at best because of all the crap with Gwen; I don’t need another reason to have her hating me. Fuck.”

Steve sat down next him on the couch, rubbing a hand up and down Danny’s back. “Relax, Danny. She’s going to calm down, and everything will get better, I promise. Even if you did act rashly, and even though we do like Ian, that doesn’t mean that what she said was right, and it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t have been upset. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I don’t care who the guy is, she or Grace are not allowed to have boys over when we aren’t home. I don’t want her here, alone, making out with some guy in the semi-dark of our living room. I was about five seconds away from yelling almost the same thing. Don’t beat yourself up, okay. We both freaked, you and your mouth just got there before I did.”

Danny looked up at Steve with glassy eyes, “I feel like I’ve lost her.”

“You haven’t, Danno,” Steve grabbed Danny’s hand in his own. “She’s just lost and confused and hurt. She’s been through so much these past six months, you all have. It’s going to take some time to get back to normal. You are her father and she absolutely thinks of you that way. She loves you more than this world; she just needs some time to remember that.”

“I just don’t know if there’s anything more I can do.”

Steve had never seen Danny so broken, so hopeless. Even when it seemed like Rachel was going to take Grace away to Las Vegas or he let Matt get away, there was still a tiny spark of something in his eye, a tiny spark of hope that things would start to look a little bit better. But now Steve didn’t see any of that; he saw a man who had truly given up hope and it broke Steve’s heart.

“Danno,” Steve’s voice caught in his throat, emotion threatening to spill over. “She will always be your daughter. Don’t give up hope. She has to be the one to fix it. I know it sucks, but we have to treat her like she’s growing up, you have to let her come to you.”

Steve pulled Danny close to him, feeling the smaller man shake in his arms.

Avery was in so much trouble Steve couldn’t even put into words what her punishment was going to be like.

“I’m ready to go, Dad.” Avery stood at the bottom of the stairs, her arms crossed and sarcasm dripping from every word.

Steve looked at Danny who nodded, letting Steve know he was going to be okay. He ran upstairs to grab his trunks and met Avery down by the water.

“We’re swimming out to the cove.”

“What? That’s over a mile and a half. I’ve already had practice today.”

“If you think whining is going to make your punishment last any shorter you are sorely mistaken. You cannot even begin to fathom how pissed I am at you right now for what you said.”

“What I said,” Avery gasped, “I did nothing but kiss my boyfriend, a boy who both you and Danno approve of, and Danno went batshit insane. He must get it from you.”

“Check the sarcasm right now, you hear? I hear it again and your punishment won’t last a month, it will be two. And regardless of whether we approve of the boy or not, you cannot hang out in our house, unsupervised, with him.”

“Ian and I have hung out alone a hundred times.”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “Avery, I know that you are an intelligent young lady. And because of this I know that you realize that this is not the same as those hundred other times. When your relationship with Ian changed, the rules changed. He’s also coming over for dinner soon. Regardless of what happened today, I’m happy that you found someone who makes you happy, but that doesn’t make what you did okay. And it especially does not excuse you for talking to Danno the way you did.”

“I was just pissed, okay. I don’t want Ian to think I’m lame because my parents are overprotective.”

“I’m still not seeing how any of that still gives you the right to make Danno believe you don’t want to be his daughter anymore.”

“What,” Avery screeched, “I don’t want that at all.”

“Well, what’s he supposed to think? You’ve spent months giving him the cold shoulder, barely opening up to him about what you’re feeling about the whole Gwen situation, and then you told him that he isn’t your real father. You know just as well as I do that family is everything to Danno. If you say something like that he’s going to take you seriously; he’s going to believe you on some level.”

“I didn’t want him to think I don’t love him or want him to be my father, honest. It just slipped out because I was mad.”

“I’m not the person who needs to hear this. I would suggest thinking long and hard about how you’re going to rectify this situation.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay, we can go halfway to the cove and back, but you can’t stop till you get back to the beach.”

Avery came in a full five minutes before Steve did, and immediately ran inside the house.

*H50*  
Steve toweled off outside on the lanai before stepping inside. Grace was sitting at the kitchen table reading her Chemistry book.

“Hey, Grace Face, how’s it going?”

“Good,” Grace shrugged.

“Want to go with me to get some shave ice?”

“Isn’t dinner in like two hours? You guys never let us have treats that close to dinner time. I think there was a whole speech involved about healthy eating and heart attacks and blood pressure. You had charts and everything.”

Steve blushed a little, “Okay, that was probably a little overkill.”

“A little,” Grace huffed.

“Okay, a lot overkill, but back in the day you were just as obsessed about health and good eating habits as I am.”

“Impossible.”

“You spent at least a year calling either me or your dad every day to double-check that Danny was bringing something healthy for lunch. When we came and talked to you about Danny and me starting our relationship and how things would change, you asked me, dead serious, that if your Danno was my boyfriend did that mean I would make sure he ate healthy. I promised you that day I would always make sure he stayed healthy. I don’t plan on breaking that promise anytime soon, hence the lecture. But, I do think we can cheat a little, just for today.”

“Alright,” Grace smiled, closing her book. “Anything to stop reading this stupid book.”

“Hey now, chemistry is cool.”

“Only you think that, Dad.”

Steve couldn’t help the huge grin that spread across his face. Ever since he had gotten back from deployment Grace had pretty much exclusively called him Dad. He had never cared what she called him, but he wasn’t going to lie and say it didn’t feel amazing every time he heard it.

They pulled up to the Waiola Shave Ice stand, the only shave ice worth having on the whole island according to anyone who knew anything about shave ice, twenty minutes later. Grace ordered her usual grape cone and Steve ordered strawberry. They sat down at a picnic table by the edge of the beach while they waited for Kamekona to finish their order.

“How are you doing, Grace, with everything?”

Steve and Grace really hadn’t had the opportunity to talk about everything going on in her life since Steve had come back from deployment. Gwen and Avery had monopolized his time, and he was trying his best to make up for that.

“I finally told Danno everything and he was so pissed, but he was really supportive too, like you said he would be. I just wish you had been here, you know, it’s always been easier to talk to you about some of this stuff. I think sometimes Danno thinks he’s failed as my dad or something because he didn’t win the custody battle the first time around. I just don’t think he understands that you and he were the only real parents I ever had. I mean Mom was good for a while, but as the years went on and her relationship with Stan got strained, well, her parenting skills weren’t the best. I may not have lived with you guys full time or have gotten all the fancy gifts from you guys, but that stuff doesn’t matter. When it comes down to it you guys were the only ones who ever let me be me and supported me in whatever my dreams were.”

“Grace, all we’ve ever wanted is for you to follow your dreams.”

“Did Danno tell you why Mom hit me?”

“No, he didn’t tell me.”

“She hit me because I told her that I wanted to go to college at Annapolis, like my dad.”

Steve felt like his breath had been knocked out of him. Grace wanted to follow after him, even after all the times he had left them to fend for themselves, she still looked up to him as someone to emulate.

“Wow, Gracie, I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll help me write the most kick-ass college essay ever and we’ll be good,” Grace smiled over at him, flicking a piece of ice from her shave ice at him.

He tried to swat it away, but he missed and it hit him in the eye. “Well, with aim like that I think the Navy will be lucky to have you.”

“Mom wants me to go to Yale or Brown. She said that no daughter of hers would ever be in the military.”

“Your Mom is a little lost right now, but no matter what, Danno and I will always support your dreams.”

“I love you, Dad.”

“Love you too, Grace Face.”

Steve and Grace finished their shave ice while Grace filled Steve in on every detail of her life, everything he missed during deployment. It felt good to have this time with her, to know that she was doing okay, not perfect, but she was doing okay. 

It gave him hope, gave him faith, that they would all be okay. 

They had to be.

He didn’t know what he would do if they weren’t.

They talked for over an hour before Steve looked at his watch and realized they were going to be late for dinner.

“Crap, c’mon Grace, we’ve gotta go before Danny realizes we’ve spent the last hour and a half eating shave ice.”

When they got home Danny was sitting on the couch flipping through the channels on the TV.

“Hey,” Steve greeted, bending down to place a quick kiss on Danny’s lips.

“Hey, babe, Grace. Where were you guys,” Danny asked suspiciously, his cop senses beginning to tingle.

“We were just chatting, Danno.” Grace bounced over to Danny on the couch, placing a kiss on his cheek. “Stop being so distrusting. What could we have possible gotten up to?”

“Grace, baby, you do realize that you are talking about Steve, right? I can list to you the number of ways he may cause havoc.”

“But what about me, Danno?”

“Well, you have perfected the innocent angel persona over the years, but I’ve been privy to your ways for a long time.”

“Aw shucks, Steve, he’s onto us.”

Steve laughed. “But, wait, who’s cooking dinner then if you’re sitting here?”

“Avery. You were right.”

Steve’s mouth dropped open, “I’m sorry, are you admitting that I’m right about something? Oh, alert the presses, Danno has finally admitted that I’m right.”

“Hardy har har, bastard.”

“Oo, such bad language in front of your daughter. You kiss her with that mouth?”

“Watch it, Steven, or I’ll take back what I just said.”

“Danno, you’re the greatest husband, even with your foul Jersey mouth,” Steve mocked. “But, enlighten me, what am I right about?”

“That I should let Avery come to me.”

“Dinner’s ready,” Avery shouted from the kitchen. “I hope you’re all hungry!”

Steve and Grace caught each other’s eyes and sniggered.

“Don’t think I won’t figure out where you two were,” Danny threatened as he followed them into the kitchen. “Smells delicious, Aves, what are we having?”

“Lasagna, homemade bread, green beans, and roasted carrots. And I got cocoa puffs and malasadas from the bakery down the street for dessert.”

“These are all of Danno’s favorites,” Grace observed.

Avery nodded, “This is my apology, or at least the best way I know how to apologize.”

She looked up at Danny. “Danno, I can’t even begin to imagine what I’ve put you through these past few months. I just, I wasn’t myself, and what I said today, it wasn’t fair to you. You’ve been there for me through everything, and I just threw it all back in your face. I know that I haven’t been easy to deal with these past few months with Gwen coming back and me basically becoming the world’s biggest bitch.”

“Language,” Steve admonished, but Avery kept going like she hadn’t heard.

“What I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I treated you the way that I did and I’m sorry I ever made you doubt my love for you. Even though I said you weren’t, you are my real father. You always will be. I was blinded by what all the kids at school were saying, and I held onto a false hope that maybe my mom actually wasn’t a horrible person. But what I forgot was that I didn’t need a mom because I had you and Dad and Grace. I don’t need anyone else in my life. So, I know that I’m still in like ridiculous amounts of trouble, but I hope at least this will help make up for everything I’ve put you through and help you remember that I love you more than anything, and that you will always be my dad.”

“Munchkin, get over here,” Danny gestured for Avery to walk forward and he pulled her close. “I will love you forever and always, Aves, no matter what.”

Steve watched as two of the most important people in his life embraced and began to repair their broken relationship. They sat down a few minutes later to their first family meal since Steve’s return.

He looked around at the table as Avery’s eyes sparkled in the evening sun and Grace laughed at something Danny said. He came to Hawaii eleven years ago scared to death about what it was going to be like to be a single dad, not sure if he could even be a full-time dad. Now he’s sitting at his kitchen table, two daughters and a husband sitting with him, and it felt right, it felt whole.

His family was complete and his life had meaning. There was nothing else that Steve McGarrett could possibly ask for because family always brought you home.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave a comment :)


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